[Football] Bad Boy Batty

3月17号, 巴蒂21岁生日这天，万众瞩目的曼市德比在老特拉福德球场开战。目前两队相差4分，曼联排在英超第2, 距离身前的利物浦差了9分，而曼城和榜首间则差了13之多。

Before the game, Manchester City's young captain stood in the player tunnel with his arms folded, with no expression on his face.
In addition to his position in the league table, there are also issues such as Manchester United winning the League Cup, Real Madrid returning to its hot form, his godfather seemingly being plotted against in Hollywood, and the raging coronavirus, so there is really nothing that has made him happy recently.

"Don't make a face, baby, you know you're most charming when you smile."

Batty glanced toward the source of the sound.

Augustus's hair had returned to its natural bright red color, which, combined with the home jersey he was wearing and the Manchester United red that filled the tunnel, made him look like a bottle of Mexican hot sauce with a yellow label.

well.
The reasons to be unhappy increased.

"I know you've been upset lately, Batistuta, but - we won the League Cup based on our strength, what else can we say? Kylian is really great, right?" The French midfielder said to himself, "And Raheem, thank you so much for sending him here, he's also great, although sometimes it makes people have high blood pressure, but overall it's a big help."

Batty pretended to have two balls of cotton in his ears.

"And The Sun, the stuff they published recently must be really annoying to you. I'm pretty sure there's no agreement between Manchester United and Manchester City that the loser must send one player to the winner's dressing room to be punished, but they didn't listen and extended it to write something unacceptable."

Batty still didn't listen.

Rage value: 85%
Augustus nodded hypocritically: "But then again, this proposal is quite interesting, and to a certain extent it can mobilize the players' enthusiasm and competitiveness. As captain, Batistuta, we have the responsibility to make the game more exciting. So, do you want to turn this agreement imagined by the fans into reality?"

Batty——
Batty couldn't bear it any longer.

Rage value: 200%
"You damn lunatic, when will you ever stop?" The Manchester City captain turned around angrily and roared at the red figure, and the referee in front of him was startled by him.

"You keep talking to me. Do you think I want to hear your nonsense?" Batty opened fire on Augustus and switched to Portuguese to make his curse more fluent. "Disgusting. Who do you think you are? I've had enough of your nonsense, you idiot!"

"Oh dear, I think we have a responsibility to make the game more interesting... Fuck you!" He even changed his expression in an instant and imitated the other party's words in a sarcastic way, and then changed back to continue cursing like an angry lion, "As the captain, you are so shameless! You have no right to say that!"

"Roy Keane will come out again to kick you into the stands if he hears this. Sir Alex will probably spit out all the capsules he took last week and flush them down the toilet when he sees you! Your family has been brought shame upon by you. Who are you? You are nothing!" Batty pointed at his nose and cursed in front of the Manchester United and Manchester City teams, as well as all the staff and photographers. "You bastard, you rat in the sewer, you bitch in the garbage dump! If you get horny with me again, I'll send you, this ungrateful thing, to be physically castrated!"

The entire passage was silent.

Guardiola, who had just come out of the locker room, looked at Mourinho next to him with an accusing look. Although the Portuguese head coach was shocked, he had nothing to say. He was not the kind of guy who would make friends with the players or even act as their father. As long as they performed well on the court, he would reuse them.

'I'm sorry,' Mourinho mouthed to his old rival, 'I can't control him.'

He couldn't control Augustus, because besides being his player, that guy was also his boss, the largest shareholder of Manchester United, and the one who really made the decisions in the board and management.

Of course, he didn't want to care.

At the end of both teams, Kylian Mbappé, known as the French supercar, quietly nudged his former teammate and asked, "Is he so grumpy lately?"

"You mean Barty?"

"Who else could it be?"

"Yeah." Neymar gave him a rather hollow smile. "In the past three days, he has slammed the door on my nose several times."

Wow-oh.
Mbappe expressed his exclamation with exaggerated expressions and silent lip movements.
This was the first time he saw Batty explode.

Before this, Mbappe always looked at his opponent Batistuta through a natural filter. Of course, it might also be because his brother liked Batistuta. In short, he agreed with those BBB fans and felt that Batistuta was a talented player who was insincere and good at disguising himself.

But this opponent filter was shattered today.
There is no broken slag left.

but--

Mbappe pursed his lips, lowered his head and moved his ankles... Oh my God, he sighed painfully in his heart, how could anyone change their opinion of Batistuta and find him cute after listening to Batistuta scolding Augustus!
Not only the people mentioned above, but the psychological activities of all the people in the channel are quite rich. If these psychological activities can be made into fuel, then the ones here alone will be enough to drive the Earth to Mars.

And what about our two protagonists?

Batty felt great after scolding.

And Augustus—

Augustus did not show any emotion and just stood there with the same smile on his face as when he proposed the derby agreement.

"I like to do this." The French midfielder winked at Batistuta, "What should I do? Why don't you call the police?"

Batty: ...
Batty: (fist hardened)

“Ahem.” The referee must be well versed in British dry humor. At this critical moment, he cleared his throat and looked at the Manchester City captain. “If you are going to punch him, then I will have to show you a red card. The referee still has this right before the game starts. I think you should know this.”

"Thank you for your reminder, sir." Batty looked at the referee with a creepy smile, "I promise I won't do anything in this game that could result in you getting a red card, believe me."

Referee: I don’t believe it…

This derby is destined to be turbulent.

In fact, it broke a string of records in Premier League history.

The game was so intense that the referee issued a total of 17 yellow cards and 6 red cards, of which 11 yellow cards and 2 red cards (direct) occurred in the second half's injury time.

If Batistuta was the only one full of anger at the beginning of the game, then 13 minutes into the first half, Augustus knocked him down from behind and received a yellow card, and still came to Batistuta to provoke him without knowing what was good for him, and the whole Manchester City team was enraged.

[It’s your business if you like him, and we have no right to interfere if you want to make him angry.]
[But on the field, if you dare to touch our king, we will fight you to the death!]
Soon, Walker and De Bruyne were both given yellow cards for pushing Augustus. At the end of the first half, a small conflict broke out between the two sides on the sidelines. Otamendi accidentally pushed down Mbappe who came to mediate in order to protect Batistuta, and was also given a yellow card.

So the Manchester United players were also angry.

[Augustus may be a jerk, but what's the matter with pushing people on the field?]
[You even pushed our French supercar along with him. What? Are you bullying the turtle because he has no teammates? Let me tell you, if you dare to touch our players, we will fight you to the death!]
The first half ended in a 0-0 draw.

During the half-time break, the head coaches of both teams tried to suppress the temper of their players and threatened that anyone who did not play peacefully would be substituted.

When it came to the second half, indeed, no one made a fuss until the 90th minute.

In the 91st minute, Manchester United led 2-1 at home, Mbappe and Sterling each scored a goal, and the Blue Moon Army equalized with a long-range shot from Rodri.

The injury time was extended to 6 minutes.

In the 94th minute, a large-scale conflict broke out between the two sides. Pogba fouled Neymar, and Neymar stood up and started a fight with him. Augustus went to help. Batistuta ran across half of the field without even looking at Neymar and Pogba who were arguing. He kicked Augustus in the back from behind and knocked him to the ground.

Augustus then stood up and fought with Batistuta in retaliation for pulling him down. The two turned the green field into a fighting cage. Walker and De Bruyne then rushed to the scene, and Lingard, Rashford and Maguire also quickly joined the battle.

Players from both teams got into a fight near the player tunnel.

Well, literally.

The referee showed red cards to Batistuta and Augustus, and showed second yellow cards to Neymar, Pogba, Walker and De Bruyne, who were also sent off. Then the busy referee showed yellow cards to Mbappe, Lingard, Sterling, Maguire, Rodri, and Jesus (almost all of them).

In the last 2 minutes of injury time, no one was interested in playing football.

When the time on the sign reached 96 minutes and 33 seconds, the referee finally blew the whistle to end the game. This red and blue battle, no, the red and yellow card battle ended with Manchester United winning 2-1 at home.

Thus, one of the top five famous scenes in Premier League history was born.

#ManchesterDerby became a trending topic. Whether it was Twitter, Manchester City Derby or a certain team, everyone was either cursing at each other or watching the show. What no one knew at this time was that in the post-match interview, another famous scene was about to be born.

In the player tunnel, a reporter caught the Manchester City captain cursing angrily. For the sake of news, he fearlessly approached and forcibly pulled Batistuta for an interview.

Although the Manchester City king was in a bad mood, he was not so angry as to beat up the reporter to vent his anger. He spoke in an aggressive tone, but still insisted on answering some of the other party's questions, such as [What do you think of Manchester United remaining unbeaten against you this season? ] Or [Do you think Mbappe is the biggest contributor to Manchester United's rise? ] Or [Do you now admit that Mbappe is your biggest rival in football, and you two are the continuation of Messi and Ronaldo? ]

None of this is the point.

The point is-

When Batistuta was pulled aside for an interview, Mbappe suddenly appeared.

In today's game, there was no direct conflict between the two of them. After all, there was Augustus as a foil. Batistuta even thought that Mbappe was a good player at one point.

Nearly 70 minutes into the second half, when Manchester City's set-piece turned into Manchester United's counterattack, Walker and Rodri were unable to chase back quickly due to the corner kick. Mbappe dribbled the ball to overtake on the wing, Batistuta crossed most of the field to chase him, and finally the King of Manchester City successfully defended near the baseline by relying on his body positioning.

Mbappe fell to the ground and Batistuta reached out to pull him up.
And this defense ended with a hug.

The two heirs to football's legendary career were so harmonious and friendly on the field, which made their post-match interactions all the more odd.

It was unknown whether it was a brain short circuit or he wanted to express friendship, the French supercar came to the interview area next door, put his arm around the Manchester City king's shoulder in front of the camera, and then smiled and said in Spanish: "Hey, Batistuta, I haven't wished you a happy birthday yet!"

Batistuta, like everyone else, didn't know if his brain had a short circuit or something (later people were more inclined to believe that he didn't listen/understand at all), but he turned his head and looked at Mbappe, and replied with a very official smile: "Thank you, you too."

"Happy birthday!"
"Thanks, you too."

Such a question and answer is as stupid as a taxi driver saying "Have a nice trip!" when you get off the car, and you respond very politely to him "Thank you, and have a nice trip too!"

Highly praised comments on Twitter:
I really want to know if (turtle expression) and BBB will feel like I was, laughing until they had a stitch in the side and wanting to escape the earth out of embarrassment after they return to the locker room and hear about this interview experience from their teammates.

(End of this chapter)