[Football] Bad Boy Batty

"So... they're not going to reconcile?"

"I don't think so."

“But they still ignore each other.”

"No, I prefer to believe that this is just a little game between the two of them."

"Games?"

"Correct."

One morning in early March, on a training day, in Manchester City's indoor gym, Kyle Walker and B席 were riding bicycles to warm up. B席 arrived a little late, so he missed the opportunity to train with the main team, while Walker was lazy and was discovered by the coach, so he was ordered to practice for 3 minutes more.

"Good! Very well done, hold on for another 10 seconds--" The physical trainer not far away clapped his hands and gave orders, "Ok, you can get up now, boys, next project, RDL, 3 groups, 20 in each group, 15 in each group for the forwards, Batty, Ney, after you finish, do hip thrusts."

"Oh hoo!" Batistuta turned and high-fived Neymar. "Hip thrusts! My favorite exercise!"

"Hahaha, are you planning on becoming like a Kardashian and having your opponents scared to death by your butt?"
"No no no Kun, Batty wants to use his peach to confuse his opponent! Then he can easily score a goal. I think you should try it too."
“Not just Kun, we should all try it hahahahahaha!”

Looking at the people who were joking with their hips pushed over there, and De Bruyne who had obviously chosen the farthest position from Batistuta and only participated halfway in the joke and deliberately ignored Batistuta, B Silva smacked his lips and was skeptical about what Walker had just said.

"I think they are finished," the Portugal midfielder said.

"No, they don't hate each other anymore." Walker supported his bicycle handlebars with one hand and stretched his shoulders. "If they were finished, who do you think would be the first to get angry?"

"I don't know, maybe Pep?"

"Exactly!"

Kyle Walker said with a profound look: "In our match against Arsenal the day before yesterday - poor Mikel (Manchester City beat Arsenal 4-0), Batistuta scored the third goal, assisted by Kevin. Did you see that? Batistuta subconsciously hugged him. Although he let go immediately, it was enough to let us know that he no longer blamed Kevin for playing a clown and scaring him."

“——I don’t quite understand.” Seat B pursed his lips.

"God, Bernardo Silva, you are such a blockhead when it comes to this." Walker waved his hand. "I mean, Batistuta and Kevin are just arguing for the sake of arguing. Get it? They are only this close to reconciliation." (Walker pinched his thumb and index finger to make a 'little' gesture)
"But if that's true then why wouldn't they?"

"Not reconciled?"

"Correct."

"Because they are both idiots, and idiots want others to bow their heads first," Walker said. "They are waiting for an opportunity to unite and naturally make peace."

"meaning is?"

"Well, what it means is..." The English defender's bike made a sound of the end of the ride. He got off and tapped B's shoulder. "It means that they are trying their best to wait for others to make mistakes. I advise you not to hang around in front of them recently. You may be used as the victim - oh, sorry, it's that opportunity."

After saying that, Kyle Walker took off his long-sleeved training suit and walked over there. He quickly joined the big group and mingled with everyone.

B looked at his bike, which showed that he had 6 minutes of warm-up time. The Portuguese midfielder stroked his beard and shook his head helplessly.

It's all routines.

What to do? Feeling out of tune with them, Bernardo thought, I should suggest Pep to buy a few more Portuguese players, so that he would not be isolated in the locker room.

……

After lunch, they rested for a while and soon the players came to the training ground for special team coordination training. Head coach Guardiola arrived late. He rarely wore a wide and thick gray scarf, which almost covered half of his face.

"Before we start training, I have a few words to say!" The Catalan cleared his throat and said, "Regarding the new coronavirus, there have been recent reports of infections in the UK. Although it has little impact on football at present, after discussions with the coaching staff and the medical team, we recommend that everyone try to stay out as little as possible."

Novel coronavirus?
Reduce going out?

Once this was said, it immediately sparked widespread discussion among the players. Some of them often paid attention to this kind of news because their family worked in Asia, so they were very familiar with the raging virus. Some had only seen sporadic reports on TV or radio and firmly believed the British government's claim that "this matter will definitely not affect the British Isles." Some people didn't know about it at all and were confused by Guardiola's advice.

"I thought it was just a cold," Batty said.

"Yes, but it is a new cold." Guardiola answered him patiently, "Hundreds of years ago, when humans first discovered the cold virus, it was also deadly. The point is not the cold, the point is the new type."

"So?" Batty asked.

"So we know nothing about it and there is no better way to deal with it," Guardiola said. "That's why we suggest you reduce your time out. No one knows what will happen after infection. I think none of you want to risk your career, right?"

"But..." Batty still found it incredible, "I heard about this virus last year, and I thought it was over."

"Unfortunately, no." Guardiola pulled his scarf closer. "Just the day before yesterday, the British Ministry of Health announced another confirmed case, and now the total number of confirmed cases has risen to 20. And this confirmed patient has not been abroad recently, so this is the first case of infection in the UK."

"Okay." Batty spread his hands. "And?"

"For God's sake, I'm not a doctor or from the Ministry of Health, so stop hounding me, Barty."
Guardiola raised his eyebrows at his captain, then looked around at everyone present: "I'm not a professional, but I have seen how the flu is transmitted within a team, so everyone, be vigilant, go out less to drink and party, the virus may infect the football world someday." When it came to drinking and partying, a small complaint broke out in the team.

"But Pep--" Batistuta asked again, and this time he raised his hand like a good boy waiting for the coach to call his name.

But behaving better still won't relieve Guardiola's headache.

The head coach pinched his brows and said, "...Yes, Batistuta, do you have any other questions?"

"What about my 21st birthday party?" Batistuta asked. "You know, next week on the 17th, when we play Manchester United, I will be 21 years old."

"I didn't know you valued 21 so much," Guardiola said. "Is it a very important milestone in Brazil?"

"No." Batty shook his head sincerely, "But I think it's very memorable."

Guardiola: …
Guardiola: (On oxygen)

"What's wrong with you, Pep? Are you feeling unwell?" Batistuta asked knowingly, "Do you need help calling the team doctor?"

"No, just turn around so I can't see you."

"Okay." Batty turned around and faced the head coach with the back of his head. "Is this better?"

"Much better, thank you."

"Can I have a party now?"

"..." Guardiola took a deep breath, "Okay, but you can only invite teammates and staff, and you can't play for too long, such as all night. If I know you dare to play all night, I will disqualify you from wearing the captain's armband."

“This is too strict!”

"Not at all." Guardiola finally raised his head and smiled at Batistuta. "You heard me. If you stay up all night, I will let Kevin be the captain. Now, five people will start to grab the circle. Later, we will shuffle the groups for intra-team competitions. Batistuta, you are still a free man. Did you hear me clearly?"

Batty (quietly): "...Okay."
Others (loudly): "Clear!"

……

When Manchester City finished training and let the players go home, the final of the English League Cup also came to an end at Wembley Stadium. Manchester United defeated Aston Villa 3-1 to win the cup. Mbappe scored twice, Lingard scored the winning goal, and Augustus got an assist hat trick.

Soon, a video appeared on the Internet. It was posted on personal social media by their new signing Bruno Fernandes (B Fee) during the winter break. It showed Manchester United celebrating in the locker room after winning the League Cup.

The video is very short, only 23 seconds, but it was this short 23-second video that ignited the entire Internet and officially ignited the fuse of the battle between the two football clubs in Manchester.

In the video, the entire Manchester United team sang the Manchester City fans' song "Don't look back in anger" and adapted the original lyrics to make them into sentences mocking Manchester City, especially King Batistuta, who was trampled under the feet of Augustus and Mbappe in the lyrics just like Manchester City was suppressed by Manchester United in the standings.

Batty himself heard the news while driving home.

An eyewitness claimed that he saw Batistuta's car losing control on the street and almost hitting a fire hydrant on the roadside while listening to the news on the radio. Of course, Manchester City and Batistuta denied the rumor.

The celebrations for Manchester United and its fans lasted almost a week.

Batistuta has been harassed by the media and tabloid reporters for almost a week. During this period, he was surrounded by countless microphones and cameras every day when he went back and forth between his home and the training ground.

Just like now.

Batistuta was signing autographs for fans waiting at the gate of the Etihad training base. He had changed his car and license plate, but nothing could stop the paparazzi from swarming over him like leeches smelling blood.

[What do you think about the Manchester United dressing room mocking you? ]
[Some people say that Manchester City is about to withdraw from the Premier League this season. What do you think of Batistuta? ]
[BatiBati! Can you tell us how you feel recently? ]
[We heard that Augustus is pursuing you, his method is really unique. And Mbappe, what is your impression of him? If he competes with Augustus, who would you rather be with? ]

What the hell is the last one?
Tsk, it must be a reporter from The Sun.

Batistuta was blinded by the flash lights and was barely able to start the car and drive into the parking lot with the help of Manchester City security, but it was obvious that this method was only a temporary solution and not a fundamental solution.

So before stepping on the accelerator, the King of Manchester City found a pair of sunglasses from the passenger seat and put them on, and picked up a cigar and put it in his mouth (it might have belonged to his godfather or his legal advisor Lucy). Then he rolled down the window, made a backhand V gesture to the surging reporters, and finally turned around and drove away.

There was a moment of silence among the press corps.
soon--

"Was he just imitating Churchill?"
"I think so."

"So what did that gesture mean?"
"meaning is--"

In the parking lot, Batty parked the car into his spot with a beautiful drift. He pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head, spit out his cigar, and cursed loudly towards the door.

"Go to hell!"

(End of this chapter)