Who wants to be a male model after being reborn? I want to be a male god.

Chapter 404 The Magic Power of Xu Wen

After Xia Ning drove away from Chengyi Hotel, she felt a little confused for a moment.

She circled the intersection, ultimately undecided about where to go.

Someone from the publishing house called her, but she didn't answer after seeing the note.

It was nothing more than a celebratory party or something like that, and she didn't want to go at all.

Xia Ning would rather drive around in circles on the road than attend a celebration party with a bunch of strangers.

Today's book signing was very interesting to her.

But after the book signing session, there was a sense of emptiness.

no way.

The only person who could make her feel less lonely was taken away by someone else.
After a little thought, Xia Ning finally stopped near a cafe.

She pulled out her keyboard and laptop from the back of the car.

I decided to work here today.

Perhaps only when immersed in words can her brain relax a little.

At this time she was no longer Xia Ning, but a character in her book.

After placing her order at the front desk, she found a secluded corner and sat down.

No one would notice here, and no one could peek at her computer screen from behind.

After getting everything ready, she was ready to start work.

"Xia Ning."

A familiar voice came from not far away, and Xia Ning's hand suddenly stopped.

She looked up and saw Lan Qiu Sheng walking out from behind a pillar.

The light shone on her always calm face, but at this moment there was a rare hesitation in her face.

"Lan Qiu Sheng? The book signing event is over. Is there anything I can help you with?" Xia Ning frowned slightly, her fingers tapping unconsciously on the keyboard in front of her.

She didn't really like the girl in front of her.

This person has a similar life experience to Xu Wen, and usually follows Xu Wen.

It seems unknown on the surface, but it has never left.

Lan Qiu Sheng is different from Gu Xingruo. She has never taken the initiative to do anything.

Just like the little white flower in a romance novel.

Xia Ning hates the latter more than those who are in the open.

Lan Qiusheng took a deep breath and tried his best to keep himself calm.

She wore a simple white shirt and jeans today, with her ponytail neatly tied behind her head, looking capable and refreshing.

"I want to talk to you about Xu Wen." Lan Qiu Sheng's voice was soft, but extremely firm.

Xia Ning's eyes flickered when she heard the name, but she quickly regained her composure.

She looked at her watch and the hour hand pointed to eight o'clock.

"It's late now and I still have to work." Xia Ning made up an excuse to refuse.

"I know the truth about your breakup with Xu Wen is not what you said. I saw the scar on your wrist today." Lan Qiu Sheng suddenly said, his voice rising a few notches.

She had seen this scar on her mother's wrist before.

At that time, my mother really couldn't hold on any longer and wanted to give up everything, even her life.

But she later said that when she was unconscious she was thinking, what would happen to her children if she passed away?
Then she came back.

Xia Ning also had the same scar on her wrist.

Lan Qiu Sheng guessed that this might be related to Xu Wen.

"Are you following me?" Xia Ning's voice was very low.

Lan Qiusheng shook his head: "I didn't mean to do that. I was delivering documents to Xu Wen and saw you driving around in circles by yourself. I just..."

She paused. “I want to know the truth.”

Perhaps because he was afraid that Xia Ning would reject him, Lan Qiusheng continued to add: "And you also told me that if you were me, you would investigate the reason for your breakup."

She and Ding Yue thought of many ways, but in the end they failed to find a breakthrough.

Later they found that it would be better to ask the person directly.

Xia Ning stared at Lan Qiusheng for a long time, then suddenly smiled, with a hint of fatigue and sarcasm in her smile: "Why? Because you like him too?"

Lan Qiusheng's face turned pale instantly, but she did not deny it: "It's not important. What's important is that Xu Wen has taken on too much. I saw all of Ruoruo's 'surprises' at today's book signing event. I want to know why she can be so tolerant."

"Tolerance? Do you think that's tolerance?" Xia Ning sneered.

"At least on the surface, she helps you organize book signings, arranges media, and even attends the event in person if there really is any irreconcilable conflict between you two," Lan Qiu Sheng insisted.

Xia Ning suddenly interrupted her: "If you really want to know the answer, then let's sit down and have a good chat, but I can't guarantee that you will like the answer you hear."

Lan Qiusheng nodded and sat opposite.

Xia Ning waved her hand, called the waiter, and asked Lan Qiusheng: "What would you like to drink?"

"A latte, please." Lan Qiu Sheng ordered one casually.

Xia Ning raised her head and asked, "Are you still drinking coffee so late? Aren't you afraid you won't be able to sleep at night?"

Lan Qiu Sheng put the documents beside him and adjusted his state.

She asked back, "Aren't you drinking coffee too?"

Xia Ning picked up the coffee in front of her and took a sip: "Because I have work tonight."

"I have a job too." Lan Qiu Sheng replied in the same tone.

The two stared at each other and didn't speak for a long time.

There were no people in the cafe at this time.

There was only a college student sitting in the corner, working late into the night on his paper.

"Are you sure you want to know? There are some things that once you know them you can't pretend you don't know." After the coffee came, Xia Ning finally took the initiative to break the silence.

Lan Qiusheng looked directly into Xia Ning's eyes: "I'm sure."

Xia Ning was silent for a moment, then suddenly rolled up the sleeve of her left hand, revealing the inside of her wrist.

Under the dim light, Lan Qiu Sheng saw an obvious scar there, as if it had been scratched by something sharp.

The scar has healed, but it has left a permanent mark.

"This is..." Lan Qiu Sheng gasped after seeing it.

"It's not what you think. This is not a sign of suicide." Xia Ning said calmly.

She lowered her sleeves and held the coffee cup with both hands: "The reason why Xu Wen and I broke up is simple. I hurt him."

Xia Ning's tone was understated.

It seems as if he no longer cares about what happened half a year ago.

Lan Qiusheng's eyes widened: "What?"

Things were more complicated than she had imagined.

"Literally, I locked Xu Wen up, and wanted to live with him forever. Later, Gu Xingruo came. I knew my fantasy was shattered, so I wanted to end everything, but Xu Wen saved me. The knife cut my arm and stabbed into his abdomen." Xia Ning's voice was very soft, but trembling slightly. Lan Qiusheng felt dizzy. She couldn't connect the writer in front of her who wrote beautiful words with the person Xia Ning described.

She felt as if she were listening to a fantasy story.

The scenes in "The Name of the Disease is You" appeared before her eyes.

It turns out that those were really Xia Ning’s personal experiences.

"Why?" she asked with difficulty.

Xia Ning smiled bitterly: "Because I was crazy, literally crazy, jealous, possessive, paranoid... whatever you want to call it, at that time, when I saw Xu Wen working with you guys every day, I felt that the whole world was betraying me."

Lan Qiu Sheng noticed that Xia Ning's eyes were fixed on the coffee cup while she said these words.

"What does Xu Wen think?" she asked.

"He didn't mean to blame me. There was only heartache in his eyes. It always was like that, even when he rushed over to save me later." Xia Ning raised her head, a trace of pain flashing in her eyes.

Lan Qiu Sheng felt a pang of heartache. She suddenly understood why Xu Wen always avoided talking about certain topics and why his eyes became complicated when he mentioned Xia Ning.

"What happened next?" she continued.

"Later? Later Xu Wen broke up with me." Xia Ning curled the corners of her mouth.

"But he said it was because..." Lan Qiu Sheng remembered the reason Xu Wen gave for the breakup.

"Because of incompatibility of personalities? Because we each have different pursuits? They are all lies, lies he made up to protect me. Do you know what the most ironic thing is?" Xia Ning shook her head.

Her voice suddenly choked up: "Even at that moment, the first thing he thought of was to protect me."

Lan Qiu Sheng felt her throat tighten. She thought of the materials about psychotherapy in Xu Wen's office drawer and the tired expression he occasionally revealed.

Now it all makes sense.

"Gu Xingruo, why?"

"Why forgive me for hurting Xu Wen?"

There was still a bitter smile on Xia Ning's face.

She continued, "Who knows? Maybe it was because of Xu Wen's request, or maybe it was because she was more mature or smarter than I thought. Today's book signing event, those 'surprises', do you think they were just a simple help?"

Lan Qiu Sheng recalled the scene at the book signing event.

The rose specimen soaked in formalin, the reporter's questions about the mental hospital, and Gu Xingruo's meaningful smile as she stood by.

"She is reminding you." Lan Qiu Sheng made a judgment.

Xia Ning nodded: "Remind me what happened in the past, remind me what I owe her, remind me where the boundaries are."

She twirled her coffee cup. "Very clever, isn't it? She appears to be so generous and proper, but in fact everything she does emphasizes her victory."

Lan Qiusheng suddenly felt a chill: "Then why did you accept it?"

"Because I do owe her. It was she who stopped me from making things worse. And to some extent, this is also good for me. The reason why Thorn Specimens sold so well is partly due to these 'topics'." Xia Ning said frankly.

She smiled self-deprecatingly: "The gimmicks of crazy female writers are always attractive."

Lan Qiu Sheng knew that this was not what Xia Ning really said, but she did not continue to ask.

Everyone has their own "spiritual victory method", just like her.

"So you received treatment later?" She carefully changed the subject.

Xia Ning's eyes drifted off into the distance: "Well, psychological treatment, medication, and even... a few days in a detention center."

Her voice was so calm that she didn't seem to be talking about herself.

"During that time, Xu Wen often sent me messages and gave me birthday presents, even though we had broken up." Xia Ning fell into memories.

"He never gave up on you." Lan Qiu Sheng said softly.

"Yes, he is that kind of person. Even when you are least worthy of being loved, he will find reasons to continue to care about you." A hint of complex emotions flashed in Xia Ning's eyes.
She suddenly looked directly at Lan Qiusheng: "Just like he cares about you now."

Lan Qiusheng's heart skipped a beat: "I, we are just work colleagues."

Xia Ning smiled meaningfully: "Really? Then why do you care so much about his and my past? Why did you stop me to ask these questions tonight?"

Lan Qiu Sheng felt her cheeks getting hot. She looked down at the cold latte, not knowing how to answer.

"It's okay, I understand. Xu Wen has this magic. He can make you feel that you are the most important person in the world, even if you know he treats everyone like this." Xia Ning's voice suddenly softened.

"Don't you hate him? For leaving you for Gu Xingruo?" Lan Qiu Sheng couldn't help but ask.

Xia Ning was silent for a long time, so long that Lan Qiu Sheng thought she would not answer.

"I used to hate it because I found that I am essentially a selfish person." She finally said, her voice so soft that it was almost inaudible.

"But I understand his choice, and I know what I should do now. Maybe those treatments are really useful." Xia Ning raised her head.

The words echoed in the small coffee shop.

Lan Qiu Sheng suddenly realized that tonight's conversation had touched a dangerous boundary.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

Xia Ning shook her head, a tired smile appeared on her lips: "No need, you have nothing to be sorry for. If you want to hear it, I will tell you, so you don't have to ask around. Now that you know the reason why Xu Wen and I broke up, I think you should have your own answer in your heart."

After she finished speaking, she looked at her watch and said, "It's getting late. You should go back."

Lan Qiusheng nodded, but sat still: "One last question, did you really just want to be friends with Xu Wen when you returned to Linjiang this time?"

Xia Ning's expression froze for a moment, then she regained her composure: "That depends on his choice."

She stood up and picked up her handbag beside her: "There are some boundaries that once crossed, there is no going back."

She walked to the cashier and paid the bill. Lan Qiu Sheng noticed that her back looked unusually thin under the light.

When Xia Ning turned around again, her face was covered with the familiar, gentle smile mask that the public was familiar with.

"Thank you for talking tonight. I hope The Thorn Specimen didn't scare you." Xia Ning's voice returned to the elegant tone she had at the book signing event.

Lan Qiusheng shook his head: "It's beautiful, so beautiful that it makes people feel heartbroken."

Xia Ning's eyes lit up, as if this was the most sincere compliment she had heard tonight.

She returned to her seat and continued working on her computer.

"Lan Qiusheng, take good care of him. He needs care more than he looks." She suddenly raised her head.

After saying this, Xia Ning fell into complete silence.

She put on headphones and her fingers kept flying on the keyboard.

Lan Qiusheng inexplicably felt that the sound of Xia Ning typing on the keyboard was somewhat pleasant, just like her voice.

She knew that she would gain nothing even if she continued to sit there.

And she also knew what she wanted to know most.

After leaving the coffee shop, Lan Qiu Sheng looked at Xia Ning's thin figure through the glass window and felt inexplicably distressed.

When Xia Ning first got together with Xu Wen, she was not optimistic about the two of them.

Now she feels that she might have been a little narrow-minded at that time.

Lan Qiu Sheng slowly walked back to the car. This car belonged to Xu Wen and she was the one driving it all the time.

Thinking back on everything she had just heard, she still felt it was unreal.

Everyone has their place.

So what role should she play?

(End of this chapter)