Iron Snow Clouds

Chapter 5054 (five thousand and fifty-four) harms me
“I…I can only dodge with my heart.” said the man.

"With heart?" Gray Hands asked. "How did you do it?"

"Before I was illuminated by the spring sun again, I told myself the same thing over and over again." The man said, "I also forced myself to forget the feeling I had when I was nostalgic and intoxicated before. I should forget it."

"What did you tell yourself?" asked the Gray Hand Man.

"That is to say... those are all illusions, so fake. How could I... do that? I shouldn't... no I should... I will never let that happen again." The man replied.

"Don't you want to forget the feeling of nostalgia and intoxication before?" asked the man with gray hands.

"Yes." the man replied.

"You tell yourself that those are all illusions. At this time, you will always know in your heart what you said to yourself is an illusion, right?" asked the man with gray hands.

"Of course I know." said the man.

"If that's the case, doesn't it mean that every time you tell yourself this, you are only deepening your previous impression?" asked the Gray Hand Man.

"Maybe... maybe." said the man.

"Didn't you realize this problem at the time?" asked the Gray Hand Man.

"Not at all," the man replied.

"So it's not easy for you to forget, right?" the Gray Hand Man asked again.

"Yes, it's not easy... I haven't forgotten it at all. If it were easy... I wouldn't be able to tell you today like I did just now." The man said. The Gray Hand Man asked: "But you have indeed tried hard to forget?"

"Yes." The man said, "I made a lot of efforts, and kept telling myself... I... had done something wrong before, and it was wrong, and it must not happen again... again. I even told myself over and over again that being illuminated by the spring sun was... a self-destructive thing, which would wear down my will and only harm me."

The Gray Hand Man asked, "Is this effective?"

"Yes." said the man.

"You finally reached a place where you could be bathed in the spring sun, right?" asked the Gray-Handed Man.

"Yeah...it's only a matter of time." The man said, "After all, the sun shines on everything...it shines here and there. If I don't want to be illuminated by the spring sun, then...then I won't go out."

The Gray Hand asked again: "What thoughts did you have when you were once again in a place where the spring sun shone?"

"I was thinking... I want to find the person who knows magic. I'm going to find someone... I can't let my mind wander along the way. The spring sun shines on people, giving them hallucinations... It's harmful to people..." said the man.

The Gray Hand asked, "Can you convince yourself of this?"

"Yes." The man said, "Because that's what I thought before... I didn't think being illuminated by the spring sun was a good thing. The thought of wanting to be illuminated by the spring sun was all perverse and not something I should have thought of. I... I think those things were wrong... Don't think about them anymore, don't hurt yourself."

"Just like that, you have convinced yourself?" asked the Gray Hand Man.

“I guess so…” the man said, “Anyway, I’ll try to avoid being exposed to the spring sun.”

(End of this chapter)