Iron Snow Clouds

Chapter 5053 (Five Thousand and Fifty Three) Intoxicated
"Have you escaped from that pain?" asked the Gray Hand Man.

"There wasn't at first, but later on it got away from me..." the man said.

"How did you get away?" the Gray Hand asked again
The man replied: "I told myself... I was wrong just now. The feeling of the spring sun shining on people... is illusory... I shouldn't be intoxicated... I shouldn't be nostalgic, I simply... I shouldn't be in the situation I was in before."

The Gray Hand said, "But if you had never been intoxicated and lingering before, would you not have made that decision?"

"Which decision?" the man asked, "The decision not to commit suicide?"

The Gray Hand said, "Yes, that's what I'm talking about."

The man continued, "Oh, you are right... If... If I had not been intoxicated and lingering before, then I... I would not have made the decision not to commit suicide... Then I would definitely be gone soon... in this world."

The Gray Hand said: "If that's the case, then why do you think you are wrong? If you didn't think you were 'wrong', you wouldn't be alive."

That person said, "That's true, but... but that's what I thought at the time, that is... after I was sure that I hadn't committed suicide, I thought that I was wrong before. Because... I thought that my previous lingering and immersion seemed to really wear down my will... and make me... make me feel less cruel... This... this impression is obviously not good for me, but no matter what, that... that impression has been left in my heart, until... until now I still remember it... and it is precisely because I remember it that when you asked me the question, I could tell you like this... like this, otherwise, I can't tell you what the situation was at that time."

The Gray Hand Man said, "Although that lingering and intoxication kept you alive, you still think it's your fault? You're not grateful for that lingering and intoxication that saved your life?"

"No thanks... I... won't thank you for that kind of thing." The man said, "I shouldn't have done that. I don't want my will to be worn away by the situation at that time."

The Gray Hand Man asked, "What did you do?" "I walked quickly until I found a cool place... There I no longer felt the sunshine of spring." The man said, "Besides that, I also had to tell myself... that it was the past. Since I was wrong, I should not... should not take that kind of illusion seriously. I must not take it seriously. So I... I walked faster and faster, hoping to get away from the meadow where I was nostalgic and intoxicated earlier."

"Are you hiding again?" the Gray Hand asked. "Like you always do, hiding from the spring sun?"

The man said, "Yes. I even hid very... very deliberately."

The Gray Hand Man asked again: "But it's impossible that there is a place that can block the sun everywhere, right?"

"Yeah... Impossible." the man replied.

“Then you will surely be illuminated by the spring sun again along the way,” said the man with gray hands.

"That's right." The man said, "The sun was in the sky for a long time that day... There were even few clouds... The clouds couldn't cover the sun."

The Gray Hand Man asked, "Then how do you avoid it?"

(End of this chapter)