The Buddha is actually me

Chapter 236: Emperor Sutra, Mahakala
"My rules are very simple. If you can't help laughing at my jokes, you have to answer a question of mine without hiding anything. If you don't laugh, you don't get paid for the joke, and you can even crush my head."

Zhang Jiuyang was quite confident. It was not because he thought his jokes were funny, but because Ban Tian's sense of humor was too low.

If it can hold back its laughter, it will be damned.

Hearing Zhang Jiuyang say this, Bantian suddenly had an idea. As long as he could hold back from laughing, he could hear the joke without paying any price.

"Okay, tell me what you think, but first, that joke doesn't count. After all, I don't know your rules yet!"

Zhang Jiuyang smiled faintly and said, "Of course, I'll give you the joke just now, no money required."

After a pause, he began to tell his first joke.

"There are four dogs. The first dog calls the second dog 'brother', and the third dog calls the fourth dog 'daddy'. So, why does the first dog call the fourth dog 'daddy'?"

Bantian's mind suddenly raced, but no matter how hard he thought, he couldn't figure out the answer.

"You're not right. You can't think of it at all."

Zhang Jiuyang smiled faintly and said, "The first dog barks at the fourth dog... woof woof."

Bantian was stunned, his huge body standing in the water like a sculpture.

Zhang Jiuyang didn't wait for him to react and started telling the second joke.

"The little pig said to his mother, people always say I am ugly, is that true?"

"Mother Pig said righteously, 'Good boy, how many times have I told you not to call me mom when you are outside?'"

Bantian's body began to tremble violently. The amplitude of the shaking was very obvious. His black face turned red, and the surrounding river water also began to ripple.

Under the water, it even bit its own flesh, trying to use the severe pain to hold back its laughter.

Seeing that Zhang Jiuyang wanted to speak again, it wanted to speak out to stop him, but was afraid that he would laugh out loud as soon as he opened his mouth. To its despair, the third joke followed, leaving it no time to breathe.

"Once upon a time, there was a man named Yugong who wanted to move a mountain. The villagers laughed at him for overestimating his ability. Yugong said, "After I die, I still have my son. After my son dies, I still have my grandson. My descendants will eventually be able to move the mountain." Then the villagers said..."

"Wake up, you are a bachelor."

As soon as Zhang Jiuyang finished speaking, a burst of laughter rang out, shaking the mountains and scaring away countless birds.

Bantian could no longer hold back. His face turned red as he laughed loudly in the water. His nose and tears came out as he laughed. He shouted, "Woof woof!"

"Hahaha, the first dog is called Woof Woof!"

"Ha ha ha ha!!!"

Zhang Jiuyang: “…”

Good man, I’m still stuck on the first joke.

This reaction time is really long.

But the goal had been achieved, and Bantian's trick was broken. He laughed out loud and couldn't stop. He rolled over in the water, laughing so hard that he fell backwards.

When it had almost laughed enough, the second joke started to make it laugh again.

In this way, the laughter continued, and even choked on the river water, coughing and laughing at the same time.

Even the fish and shrimp in the river could not stand such loud laughter. Some died, some were injured. It was only because Zhang Jiuyang had some skills, otherwise they would have been knocked unconscious.

When Bantian finished laughing at the third joke, his huge body was almost exhausted. He collapsed powerlessly in the river, breathing heavily.

When Zhang Jiuyang saw this scene, he even suspected that he could make Bantian laugh to death just by telling jokes.

I don't know what it has been through in the past. It has such a low sense of humor, but it likes to listen to jokes so much. It's really a novice and a playful kid.

"Senior Turtle, you laughed at all three of my jokes. Now it's your turn to answer my questions."

Bantian's eyes were obviously a little flustered, but he was not a dishonest person, so he simply said: "Interesting boy, you can ask, but let me be frank. There are some things that I can only say. It's not that I don't follow the rules, but I'm doing it for your own good."

"With your current level of cultivation, if you know too much, you might die unclearly tomorrow!"

After a pause, it sighed, "I can't let you die, otherwise where can I go to listen to such interesting jokes in the future?"

Zhang Jiuyang smiled slightly, knowing that the time to reap the rewards had finally come.

"The first question is, who preached the Tao in the beginning of ancient times? What does this sentence mean?"

Zhang Jiuyang did not directly ask what was written on the Heavenly Stele. He knew without thinking that Bantian would never tell him, so he just inquired indirectly.

But when Bantian heard these four words, he couldn't help but tremble all over, and looked at Zhang Jiuyang with an incredible look.

"You, can you read the words on the Heavenly Stele?"

Zhang Jiuyang nodded and said, "I can only see these eight words. I can't see more. Since I have seen them, Senior Turtle, why don't you enlighten me and clear up my confusion?"

He vaguely felt that these eight words were profound, as if they contained some ancient and mysterious secret, and they echoed the Yu Ding Xuan Gong he was practicing.

According to legend, in ancient times, demons and monsters wreaked havoc on the world, and the human world was in dire straits. The genius Guigu Immortal Master lived in seclusion in Taixuan Mountain, hoping to create a way to save the world.

At this time, a fairy cauldron with nine fairy pictures painted on it descended from the sky and landed in Taixuan Mountain.

After nine years of seclusion in front of the cauldron, the Immortal Master Guiguzi finally attained enlightenment and created the Jade Cauldron Nine Immortals Diagram, which was later renamed the Jade Cauldron Mysterious Art.

From then on, the world had a complete method of cultivating immortals, and many methods in later generations were derived from the Jade Tripod Nine Immortals Diagram.

By analogy, Yuding Xuan Gong can be regarded as the source of human cultivation techniques.

Doesn’t it correspond exactly to the eight words on the Heavenly Stele - In the beginning of ancient times, who preached the truth?

Bantian shook his head and said, "I am unable to interpret the words on the Heavenly Stele. In other words, everyone has a different understanding. What I can tell you is that these scriptures are not a set of exercises, but a set of insights from my master, called... the Emperor's Scripture."

Emperor Sutra?

Zhang Jiuyang was shocked. Such a piece of experience and insights could actually be named the Emperor's Scripture, and it also had the magical power of bringing the dead back to life. It seemed to contain the secret of becoming an immortal.

Who is the owner of Bantian?

Suddenly, he remembered the big tomb on Shenju Mountain. The four veins of dragon, immortal, Buddha and ghost gathered together just to suppress the person in the tomb.

Before, he thought that Bantian was the person in the tomb, but now he knows he was wrong.

The person who was truly buried in Shenju Mountain was the master who moved the sky, and was also the terrifying existence who wrote the Heavenly Stele and left behind this "Emperor's Scripture"!
With excitement in his heart, Zhang Jiuyang quickly asked the second question.

"Senior Turtle, who is buried in the big tomb in Shenju Mountain? Is it your master?"

When Bantian heard the three words "Shenju Mountain", he looked dazed. After a long time, he slowly spoke.

"Many, many years ago, so long ago that even I can hardly remember it."

"At that time, I was just a little turtle that was dying of illness by the river. My master took me in, treated me, and kept me as a pet."

"My master often told me jokes, but unfortunately I didn't even have the intelligence to understand them at that time..."

...Wanfu Tower.

“Two-Faced Buddha!!!”

Golden light was flowing all over Sun Tianchi's body, and the Treasure Scroll of Common People was activated with all his strength. The power of merit poured into his body as if it was free of charge. The powerful momentum blew away the rubble around him.

It was as if a tornado was swirling around him.

The two-faced Buddha was enveloped by a terrifying murderous intent.

The two-faced Buddha frowned, took a step forward, and silently chanted the Avalokitesvara Daluo mantra. There was a strange magic in his voice, trying to influence Sun Tianchi's emotions.

But he was soon surprised to find that Sun Tianchi was so possessed by murderous intent that he was almost possessed by a demon. Other emotions were almost invisible. Only anger and murderous intent were left, as indestructible as steel.

Even he couldn't shake it.

This is an irreconcilable feud, and the intention is to kill!

"Master Sun, there must be something behind this..."

Boom!

Sun Tianchi didn't listen to him at all, and attacked fiercely, drawing thunder talismans in the air. He drew the talismans with both hands at the same time, one for yang thunder and the other for yin thunder.

The miserable situation of his disciples appeared before his eyes. This was the place where he had lived all his life and it was also his greatest ideal in life.

But all of this was wiped out because of the evil spirit before him.

People in the underworld say that he, Sun Tianchi, is the one who protects his own people the most. But looking at the corpses and ruins all over the place, how can he be said to be protecting his own people?
Boom! ! !

Two bolts of lightning, one black and one white, fell from the sky, as agile as a dragon and struck the two-faced Buddha with lightning speed.

Yang thunder destroys his body, and Yin thunder destroys his soul!
Yin and Yang are like a mill, containing a mysterious Taoist rhyme, as if to crush all evil spirits into dust.

This horrifying attack made the Two-Faced Buddha's expression change. He dared not be arrogant at all. He clasped his palms together and chanted the mantra. The human bone robe on his body rippled with brilliant light. The four hundred and ninety brow bones sparkled and intertwined into a light curtain, blocking the Yin-Yang Thunder Talisman.

However, the light on the human bone robe also dimmed sharply.

"Sun Tianchi, are you crazy——"

"Two-Faced Buddha, you are crazy. You dare to destroy my entire Wanfu Tower. Today, even if I have to use up all my merits and skills, I will grind you to dust and scatter your ashes to commemorate the loyal souls of my entire family!!!"

In the void, eight golden talismans were flying around Sun Tianchi. He stretched out his hands, and two golden talismans turned into two magical weapons, one was the Emperor Sword and the other was the Emperor Bell.

"kill!!!"

Sun Tianchi roared angrily, his eyes were bloodshot, and the talismans around his body seemed to have spirits as he rushed towards the two-faced Buddha.

Earth, water, wind and fire, kill ghosts and demons!
With the intelligence of the Two-Faced Buddha, he had already guessed that he was framed. He instantly thought of Yama Luo, but he could not explain what was happening at the moment.

Sun Tianchi was almost possessed by a demon, and there was no way to turn the tide. This man had always been extreme in temperament, and now his hatred had been magnified to the extreme. He could no longer be calmed down by words.

Yan Luo, what a despicable method, what a sinister behavior!

The Two-Faced Buddha had his first head-on confrontation with Yama and finally realized how terrifying this enemy was. No wonder the Painted Skin Master, who was always known for his insidiousness, suffered repeated setbacks.

"Amitabha, I will explain to you when you calm down."

Faced with Sun Tianchi's desperate posture, the Two-Faced Buddha also began to retreat and prepared to escape first.

However, a golden light flashed in Sun Tianchi's pupils, and the eight hundred evil-suppressing talismans outside the Demon-Subduing Cave seemed to have heard the command. They turned into streams of light and flew into the sky, covering an area of ​​hundreds of feet in radius, forming a talisman formation and blocking the figure of the Two-Faced Buddha.

Although he was able to break the formation, if he delayed for a moment, Sun Tianchi would have already arrived to kill him.

"Death to the evil spirits!!!"

Under the moonlit night, a white-haired Taoist priest in a purple robe with golden light flowing all over his body came like thunder, with flying golden talismans all around him, his eyes wide open, and he looked extremely violent.

The two-faced Buddha's gaze was extremely solemn. He knew that this battle was completely unavoidable.

The other party wanted to die together with him, and if he held back, he would most likely die here.

Put your palms together and the Buddha's light will shine upon you.

Recite the "Mahaprajnaparamita Sutra Commentary" aloud.

A huge statue appeared behind him, but it was no longer the two-faced Buddha, but the statue of Mahakala of the Western Tantric Buddhism.

According to Tantric Buddhism, Mahakala is the wrathful form of Mahavairocana when he subdues demons. He has three forms: two-armed, four-armed, and six-armed. At this moment, the form of the Two-Faced Buddha is the two-armed Mahakala.

Its body is bluish-black, its three eyes are wide open, its mane is erect, and it wears a five-skull crown on its head.

His two arms are in front of his chest, his left hand holds a skull bowl filled with human blood, his right hand holds a crescent-shaped knife, a short stick is placed horizontally between his two arms, he stands on his legs, and there is a blazing flame behind him.

Although he is a guardian deity of the Western Tantric Buddhism, he looks quite terrifying.

Boom! ! !

As the explosion sounded, thunder and fire merged, and air waves spread across the area, crushing all the surviving trees around.

Two of the world's top warriors with the strength of the sixth realm started a life-and-death battle.

……

"The one buried in Shenju Mountain is my master, and I am just a pet he casually raised countless years ago."

"Before my master passed away, I don't know what he saw. He was quite moved, so he left this heavenly tablet on my back. After so many years, I have died of old age for seven lifetimes, but it is because of this heavenly tablet that I can be reborn every time."

"The Heavenly Stele is the last gift my master gave me. He once told me that after I die of old age in the tomb for seven lifetimes, I can leave the tomb and see the world for him again."

At this point, tears appeared in Bantian's eyes, and they fell on the river, splashing huge water.

"There's nothing good to see in this world. After all, the master is gone."

"Although I can be reborn again and again, my soul is getting older and older, and I am often filled with sadness. Only when I hear a joke do I feel as if I have come back to life and returned to the time when I was with my master..."

It had been a long time since Bantian had confided his innermost thoughts to anyone, and at this moment he had said a lot without realizing it, much of which was endless and redundant. He could tell the same thing several times, as if he were an elderly person.

But Zhang Jiuyang not only did not dislike it, but listened very seriously.

It was not until Bantian had finished speaking that he let out a sigh.

"I see."

Shenju Mountain, the Great Tomb, the Heavenly Monument, the Black Turtle, the Heavenly Lord, the Jade Tripod Mysterious Art...

These seemingly disorganized clues finally seem to converge together and lead to some shocking truth.

He seemed within reach, yet so far away.

……

(End of this chapter)