My youth story cannot be a knight war

Zaimokuza yelled in dissatisfaction, while Hikigaya just stared at him silently. The DHA concentration in his dead fish eyes was so rich that you could almost smell the stench of dead salted fish.

【What do you think? 】

[His eyes revealed this meaning, and Zaimokuza was speechless.]

[“Actually, it’s because I saw a girl crying a few nights ago.”]

[“Wow? That’s interesting. Tell me about it.”]

[Hikigaya raised his eyebrows, crossed his legs, and listened attentively.]

[“Actually, it all started seven nights ago. On that day, I was just like usual, wearing my favorite windbreaker and wandering in the dark streets looking for inspiration—”]

[“STOP!”]

[Hikigaya expressionlessly made a pause gesture with both hands and rolled his eyes.]

[“I’m not here to listen to your spiritual journey. You might as well just tell me which hospital you were born in. Then I might be more interested.”]

[“Well, I was born in Chiba Prefecture’s municipal hospital. I was a healthy baby weighing 6.3 kg—”]

【“I’m leaving. I’ll never see you again.”】

【“Wait! I’m wrong, please listen to me!”】

……

[“So, you met a crying little girl on the street. She ran away from home because she couldn’t accept her parents’ divorce and hid under a tree in the park crying. You saw that she was crying so miserably, so you ran over to comfort her. But when she saw you, she thought you were a human trafficker and cried even louder. As a result, you had no choice but to run away in shame? Right?”]

【Hikigaya concluded speechlessly, and Zaimokuza was very embarrassed but nodded.】

[“What happened to the child in the end?”]

[“She was picked up by her mother. She was crying when she left. I was hiding in the dark and watching her. I left only after they left.”]

[“…I suddenly feel like there’s a reason why people are afraid of you.”]

[A little girl crying under a tree, and a fat man with suspicious behavior hiding in the dark and watching... Hikigaya imagined the scene for a moment. If he wasn't familiar with Zaimokuza, he would probably have the urge to call the police.]

[“That’s not the point, okay!? What I want to say is that this is the inspiration for my novel.”]

[Zaimokuza said loudly in embarrassment, while Hikigaya silently put the phone he had pulled halfway out of his pants pocket back into his pocket and continued to ask calmly.]

[“So, you were moved by the sight of people crying, and then you got inspired to come up with this story?”]

[“A man who protects smiles… A man who protects smiles? A man who wants to protect other people’s smiles because he sees tears? I didn’t expect that you, who have always been committed to writing those weird and incombustible things, would have such a normal thought.”]

[“Hey, hey, hey…”]

[“Okay, no more jokes.”]

[Hikigaya shook his head, and his expression became a little more serious.]

[“I took a look at the story you wrote. The theme is good. Maybe there are some problems in the expression and writing style, but this is an old problem of yours. We can ignore it.”]

[“The real problem with your story is that it is so bland that it is totally unsympathetic to others.”]

[“Why is it that after the protagonist saw someone crying, he just ran over to say a few words to that person, and that person suddenly started laughing? This is too abrupt, and it confuses people, right?”]

[“But you have made some progress this time. At least there won’t be any weird plot twists, weird Japanese-style English or unfamiliar words. At least it’s not so embarrassing for me to read. Although the whole article is full of nonsense and extremely mediocre emotional expressions, it’s still barely acceptable overall. It can be used as a pastime when you can’t find toilet paper. It’s much better than the first novel you brought to the Service Club for people to appreciate.”]

[“Overall evaluation: barely acceptable. Keep working hard and there is hope for the future.”]

[——The premise is that the books written at that time are still within the range that humans can accept. ]

[Hikigaya silently added this sentence in his heart, and at the same time closed his eyes with reluctance, as if he had foreseen the people in the future who were poisoned by Zaimokuza's works, and their expressions of fear as if they had seen a demon before they died.]

[“Uh…are you praising me or insulting me?”]

[Zaimokuza scratched his hair with a troubled look on his face. He always felt uncomfortable with his best friend's comments.]

[“What are you talking about? Of course I am complimenting you. You know, there are very few literary works that are worthy of being read in the toilet. Some authors even wrote popular light novels that sold well because they got inspiration while reading in the toilet.”]

"As long as you keep working hard, you will definitely be able to achieve your dream and become a world-renowned light novel master like that author!"

[Hikigaya said this without blushing, his eyes were upright and his expression was sincere. He was a model of righteousness, and every word he said carried a kind of beauty of indifference to human life.]

[“In short, there is nothing wrong with the idea and general direction of your story. The main problem lies in the narrative method and the characterization of the protagonist. It is too flat and too empty, just like chewing dry bread. It is tasteless.”]

[“The essence of literature is actually empathy, especially novels. Well-written novels are those that can make readers empathize, and the object of empathy is often the protagonist in the book that readers are most accustomed to identifying with.”]

[“To put it more clearly, the story you wrote has no soul, because the protagonist you wrote is too bland and has no special characteristics. If the protagonist, who is the core of the whole story, has no soul, then the story also has no soul.”]

[“Once a story has no soul, it has no power, and therefore cannot arouse empathy from others.”]

[Hikigaya's words caused Zaimokuza to ponder for a while. He looked at the manuscript in his hand with a confused look in his eyes.]

[“The power of stories… Indeed, although I wanted to write a protagonist who could bring smiles to others’ faces, I didn’t know what kind of person he was, so I always felt uncomfortable when writing. I always felt that I couldn’t understand… Now it seems that this is what you said about not being able to immerse myself in the story, right?”]

[“As expected of Master Hachiman! He pointed out the problem directly and directly!”]

[“Ahem… Okay, stop praising me.”]

[Faced with Zaimokuza's praise, Hikigaya put his fist into his mouth and coughed a few times, his eyes wandering.]

[He really couldn't say it... He actually thought that the foreign teacher's comments on the college entrance examination essays of the neighboring country were very cool, so he just copied the classic quotes from the teacher, and now it just happened to be useful. ]

[By the way, what was the teacher's name? Was his last name Shenshan or something? ]

[Hikigaya shook his head, expelling these irrelevant thoughts from his mind, and looked up at Zaimokuza who was waiting for his response.]

[“Now you understand, right? The difference between you and the protagonist of your story is too great, and you don’t understand what kind of person can bring smiles to others, so naturally your writing is not good.”]

[“You set the protagonist up as someone who loves to laugh, so he protects other people’s smiles. This kind of character setting is too thin and cannot be three-dimensional.”]

[“If you want to tell a good story, you can make other characters vague, but the creation of the protagonist is always the most important thing and cannot be dealt with carelessly. There is no famous story in literary history whose protagonist has no beginning and no end. If there is a beginning, there will be a future. If there is a future, there will be a past, and naturally there will be a process that connects everything.”]

[“So you have to write it clearly. In addition to explaining why the protagonist likes to laugh, you also have to write why the protagonist wants to protect the smiles of others? Add stories to the settings of these two characters, give him reasons to do so, and rely on the weight of the story to support this character, so that this character has a soul.”]

【"soul……"】

[Zaimokuza lowered his head and chewed on the two characters, his eyes thoughtful, as if he had figured something out, but was also full of confusion.]

[“——No, I really can’t think of it!”]

[After a long while, Zaimokuza raised his head and looked at Hikigaya, his round face full of frustration. ]

[“Although I was inspired to write a story that can wipe away others’ tears and protect their smiles after seeing them cry, I don’t know how to write it.”]

[“Because…even I can’t imagine why the protagonist I wrote likes to laugh so much and wants to protect other people’s smiles. I can’t imagine why he would do this. Maybe it’s because this is a story I came up with on a whim, so even I can’t explain it.”]

[“And the reason why I feel so uncomfortable writing now is perhaps… because I don’t understand the protagonist I wrote about at all? Because I have never seen such a person in real life, and I can’t imagine what such a person is like, so naturally I can’t write about him.”]

[“This story… probably went wrong from the beginning, right?”]

[Zaimokuza said dejectedly, his expression visibly depressed.]

[“…So, you don’t want to write this story anymore?”]

[Hikigaya Hachiman looked at him quietly, and asked after he finished speaking.]

[“There’s nothing I can do. Even if I wanted to write, I don’t know how to write it… I don’t understand the protagonist I wrote at all, and I don’t understand the meaning of his behavior, so how can I continue writing?”]

【Zaimokuza gave a bitter smile and muttered in a low voice.】

[“It has always been like this. I keep writing and writing, but what I write always seems to be just to move myself. There is no way to get recognition from others. In the end, the stories I write can’t move anyone.”]

[“Perhaps… I really don’t have the talent to be a novelist?”]

【Zaimokuza looked down at the manuscript in his hands, his eyes, which had always been full of energy, now showed a rare look of confusion and loss.】

[Are the stories you write yourself really good? 】

[In fact, he is not without self-awareness, he just doesn't want to admit it. He doesn't want to admit that he doesn't have this talent, and he doesn't want to admit that he has no possibility of realizing his dream. ]

[Because if he admits it, Zaimokuza Yoshiki might lose all motivation to pursue his dreams, and never recover from it, spending his life in a daze.]

[So Zaimokuza is unwilling to admit this obvious fact in the eyes of others, because he once promised his grandmother that he would become an excellent storyteller and write the best story in the world, and Zaimokuza has always believed that he can do this. ]

[But even with the strongest determination, after facing failure again and again, one will inevitably doubt oneself. ]

[Zaimokuza is also a human being, so naturally, his belief in pursuing his dreams has always been unwavering, but when faced with countless failures, he occasionally feels confused in his heart and begins to question himself.]

[My dream has rubbed against the cruel reality so many times, and has been worn away and crushed by the wheel of reality time and time again. It is impossible for Zaimokuza to not doubt himself.]

[Failure after failure is like a quantity accumulation. As long as we wait for a certain opportunity, a qualitative change will occur, which will overturn everything we have believed in so far.]

[Zaimokuza likes stories and has a deep love for them, but no one has ever stipulated that one has the ability to create something just because he likes it.]

[And today, the truth revealed by his best friend once again forced Zaimokuza to face his own heart and the truth that he had been forcibly ignoring all along. ]

[——Do I really have the ability to write a story that can move others? ]

【Snapped! 】

【"?"】

[Just when Zaimokuza was doubting himself once again in his heart, a hand suddenly patted his shoulder, causing him to look up subconsciously with a puzzled look on his face.]

“What are you thinking about?”

[Hikigaya Hachiman took back his hand from patting Zaimokuza's shoulder and said nonchalantly.]

[“You are doubting whether you have the talent to become a light novel writer, right?”]

【"……Yes."】

[Zaimokuza opened his mouth, but finally nodded with a somewhat gloomy expression.]

[Hikigaya Hachiman has always been very accurate in seeing through other people's thoughts, and he has basically never made a mistake, so Zaimokuza, who knows him well, knows that he can't hide it from him, so he directly acknowledges his statement. ]

[“It’s not that I don’t know that the story I wrote is not good, I just don’t want to admit it. I don’t want to give in to reality and I don’t want to disappoint…”]

[“But, after so much time, I can’t help but wonder… is my persistence really meaningful? After all, I’ve failed so many times, and no one can read the stories I wrote. I always feel like I’m wasting my time doing something that is doomed to have no results.”]

[“Should I listen to my parents…give up this unrealistic idea, study harder, and strive to get into a good university and find a good job in the future?”]

[“I, probably really——”]

[“You can do it.”]

【"……well?"】

[Zaimokuza looked up blankly, looking at Hikigaya Hachiman who said this calmly, and wondered if his ears were wrong.]

[“Um, Hachiman, you just said…”]

[“I said—you can do it.”]

[Hikigaya calmly looked at Zaimokuza, who seemed a little incredulous, and continued without giving him time to react.]

[“From the first time we met, I knew that although you have many shortcomings, there is only one strength that I never need to doubt—that is your pursuit and persistence in your dreams.”]

[“In terms of pursuing your dreams, I can feel that even though you may have doubts and suspicions about yourself at times, you will always overcome them, get up from where you fell again and again, and continue to move forward on the path you have chosen.”]

[“Although you are clumsy and dull, your pursuit of your dreams is undoubtedly the ‘real thing’.”]

[“So, I believe you can do it and realize your dream one day.”]

[“You may - you may not have the talent to write novels, but no one says that you must have the corresponding talent if you love something, right?”]

[“If it doesn’t work once, try it a second time. If it doesn’t work ten times, try it a hundred times. If it doesn’t work a hundred times, try it a thousand times. Just keep going over and over again. Even if you still can’t realize your dream in the end, you will definitely find something that makes you proud along the way, something that belongs only to you, your ‘real thing.’”]

[“So… huh?”]

【Hikigaya let out a long breath, opened his eyes, and spoke to Zaimokuza who was dumbfounded.】

[“Since I still believe in you, why do you still need to doubt whether you have this ability? In this world full of ‘fakes’, don’t let the ‘real thing’ that I have worked so hard to find be left in the dust, understand?”]

【"Zaimuza Yoshiki."】

【“——”】

【Faced with Hikigaya's true words, Zaimokuza's expression was stunned.】

[He opened and closed his mouth several times, but could not utter any words. Finally, he could not help but lower his head, his whole body trembling slightly.]

[“Hello? What’s wrong? Are you crying?!”]

[Hikigaya was a little embarrassed about what he said, but after seeing Zaimokuza's expression, worry replaced the awkwardness, and he frowned and asked.]

[“Zaimokuza, you——”]

[“——Hahahahahaha?”]

[Just as Hikigaya was preparing his next words of persuasion, Zaimokuza suddenly raised his head and laughed exaggeratedly.]

【“!?”】