People in Tokyo, the world is clear

He couldn't swim and was in despair in a half-conscious state, but he was rescued by the other party.

After a casual chat, he listened to the stories and satisfied his curiosity, and also dispelled his thoughts of suicide.

Good.

Life is so beautiful, what obstacles can’t be overcome?

Now that she sees that the other party has temporarily given up his intention to commit suicide, the kind-hearted girl is still very happy deep down in her heart.

But now there is a problem.

The girl secretly cast her eyes towards the young man beside her. He seemed to be extremely hungry. He tilted his head back and drank up all the soup in the cup.

Noticing the gaze, he turned his head. Their eyes met, and there seemed to be a sympathy between those who had attempted suicide.

"what..."

In short, it seems like I've been mistaken for someone of the same kind.

Chapter 2 My buddy is dead

Tokyo in the 1980s was Ginza shining in the darkness, and the neon lights under the signs filled the air with colorful colors.

Hot girls in denim shorts and light makeup walked together in high-heeled boots, took off their sunglasses, reached out to lift their curly bangs, and grasped the black shoulder bags on their shoulders. They turned their heads, squinted their eyes, bumped shoulders and talked and laughed, and the pearl ornaments hanging on their earlobes shone brightly under the colorful light.

A low saxophone hummed from the open bar, its misty bass permeating the city that never sleeps like steam. A rocker slumped in the doorway flung aside his empty can and drunkenly tuned up his electric guitar.

From time to time, sports cars roared slowly on the road, and the steady sound of their motors was like the finale of a bustling day in the city.

Live in drunkenness and die in dreams.

This was the best era for this country. Industry and real estate were booming, and wealthy citizens could buy out Times Square on the other side of the ocean.

Like bubbles in the sun, everything was so beautiful before the vanity was punctured.

On the roads and streets, everyone was immersed in it, blending into the splendor around them.

Except for two outliers.

A young man in a coarse linen kimono led the way, closely followed by a trembling girl who was hugging herself.

Out of place, like a laggard of the times.

Lin Sen’s original self was such a person.

Kobayashi Mori, 24 years old this year, was born into a councilor's family in Chiba Prefecture and is the second son in the family.

Logically speaking, based on his background, Kobayashi Sen should be considered at least a member of the upper third banner in Japan.

But unfortunately, Xiao Linsen has a small label that is not quite appropriate.

He is an illegitimate child.

Because his mother died early, Xiao Linsen was left alone in his childhood and lived under the care of others every day.

Since he was a child, he could only squeeze into the last seat every time he ate.

Because he rarely received attention, he was never praised, but once he made a mistake, he was scolded like a storm.

The terrifying and serious face of the head of the Kobayashi family and the indifferent profiles of the family members beside him became Kobayashi Sen’s biggest nightmare in his childhood.

Growing up in such an environment, Xiao Linsen became stupid, cowardly, sensitive, and easily hurt, which led to his developing a funny and pleasing personality.

But being humble and submissive did not win the love of his family, but only caused greater disgust.

Children who lack love are often looked down upon.

In order to gain recognition, Xiao Linsen had to find another way.

After hard work, he finally got a certificate issued by an authoritative organization.

A certificate of depression issued by the hospital.

It can be said that there are no skills, and one can only cultivate his abilities.

In the end, after failing to graduate from university, Kobayashi Mori was deemed to have brought shame to his family and was semi-expelled from Chiba. He wandered around with a meager resettlement allowance and eventually ended up in Tokyo.

Originally, although he was kicked out of the family, Xiao Linsen still had some assets after receiving a settlement allowance. It should not be difficult for him to find a job, fall in love, get married, and live a good life.

Looking at the beautiful, fashionable and cute girls on the street, Xiao Linsen naturally felt the desire to be loved again.

Unfortunately, it was the 80s, and many Tokyo women of that era had some small requirements for their future life partners.

After completing three relatively one-sided relationships, Xiao Linsen was awarded three titles.

"Driver, meal ticket, ATM."

Moreover, although he had three romantic experiences, he had never actually held a woman's hand.

In addition to being PUA-ed and having all his property drained away, Xiao Linsen was also mentally scarred.

He couldn't figure out what he had done wrong, and he came to the despairing conclusion that he seemed unworthy of being loved.

Sadness permeated his face.

I rented an old and cheap apartment to hide away, and spent the rest of the year in a daze, not knowing where to go.

He spent his days playing dirty and became addicted to horse racing. He was burdened with foreign debt, yet he dared not ask his family for help. With nowhere else to turn, he sought death.

Until a woman appeared and a ray of light came into Xiao Linsen's gloomy life.

It was a maid who was a few years older than him and had worked in his house before. She was plain-looking but gentle and kind-hearted.

They met by chance, chatted with each other, visited each other often, helped him tidy up his messy apartment, and even gave him a kimono.

Having never received such care, Xiao Linsen's soul longing for love was ignited once again.

Deeply in love, he picked up his pen and began to write, pouring all his love and admiration into it, intending to submit it crazily to various publishing houses, hoping to publicize his sudden happiness to the world.

He began to think of ways to fill the debt hole he was carrying. He washed and ironed his precious kimono over and over again, looking forward to the summer fireworks display.

As a result, in this cold spring when the weather has not yet warmed up, instead of waiting for the romantic fireworks, I heard the news that the other party was getting married.

The fire burned out its last bit of heat. In despair, Xiao Linsen threw himself into the river and died, which benefited Linsen, the unfortunate man who drowned in the river amid the sounds of fireworks in another world.

"..."

How should I put it, he is a pitiful and hateful person.

It's a pity that he has such a bad fate and is extremely lacking in love in his life.

What’s hateful is being too weak, going with the flow, never thinking about doing anything to change the status quo, and always waiting for the gift of fate.

The final result was that a man who was born in an aristocratic family and grew up in the golden age turned his good start into such a terrible outcome.

Also no one.

Lin Sen remained noncommittal about this abstract first half of his life in his memory, neither sympathizing nor mocking it.

But the mess before us is real.

Burdened with debt, living in a shabby apartment, unable to pay a penny, walking on the busy streets like a beggar, cold and hungry.

"You'll have to ruin the account before letting me take over, right?"

But what can we do?

Now that you are here, just live your life to the fullest.

While thinking about it, Lin Sen turned his head.

The girl, shivering from the cold, was wearing a relatively rustic dress and huddled under the strange looks from passers-by who were dressed fashionably.

In my memory, young people who dress this way are usually those who have come from the countryside to Tokyo. Just looking at their clothes, you can tell they are not doing well and are obviously one of the poor guys.

That's not surprising. Even in a city as prosperous as Tokyo during the bubble era, there were still many outsiders like her, drowning at the bottom of the tide of the times.

In pursuit of a better life, they embarked on a pilgrimage-like journey, thinking that they would be faced with wonderful and colorful neon lights, but in the end they ended up spending half their lives crammed in a damp and cold apartment or even a basement.

There is never a lack of unhappy people in happy times.

Considering the emotional hurt he had vaguely revealed before, it is understandable that he chose to end his life.

It’s hard not to feel some sympathy when thinking about this.

But whether it is sympathy or intimacy, the relationship between the two will definitely stop at that of strangers who met by chance.

In essence, people's joys and sorrows are not the same.

So, at a crossroads filled with beautiful colorful signs, the young man and the girl stopped at the same time, turned around, and perfunctorily thought out a few pretentious farewell words that are common in this country.

"Ito Nishika."

Just remember this name.

So I said goodbye and was left alone.

Suddenly, I felt a little dazed. A strange world, a strange time, a strange country, strange people.

For a moment, Lin Sen, surrounded by the colorful lights, was a little confused.

The speakers in the snack bar next to me are playing, and the rhythm of Citypop is slow and lazy, like a lullaby in the city at night.

There was an old-fashioned izakaya not far away. A drunken middle-aged man, arm in arm, lifted the door curtain and sang a muffled drinking ballad at the top of his lungs, unwilling to be outdone.

The flowers are so dazzling that I don't know where to go. However, one thing is certain.

Without money, you can’t enter any store.

Just keep reading it, don't say anything more.

Dude, you're dead.

He didn't have a penny on him, and even had to ask the little girl to pay for his dinner.

Shameful.

"Let's go home."

Chapter 3: The world is not a pure land, everyone has their own suffering

The apartment building was eerily quiet.

While climbing the stairs, Lin Sen could only hear his own footsteps.

The wind rushed in from the mezzanine window, a few breaths of air given by the city to the lower class people.

Most of the residents who rent this cheap apartment building are wage earners who live by their salary. In the long night, they sleep with their dreams of wealth and happiness, sleeping in this square coffin.

With the help of the dim moonlight, Lin Sen finally identified the door number of his room. He bent down, took out a key from under the dirty and black carpet, and opened the door.

Fortunately, the original body had developed the habit of leaving the room key here for many years, and even when he decided to go out and commit suicide, he used muscle memory to perform this operation, otherwise Lin Sen would not even have a place to stay now.

I quickly changed out of my wet kimono and rushed into the bathroom to take a hot shower.

The old-fashioned water heater wasn't very effective. After the hot water ran out, all that was left was a cold shower.

Lin Sen wiped his body uncomfortably, changed his clothes and slipped out, but he still couldn't control his body shaking while sitting on the bed.

"Ah!"

Well, I guess I have a cold.

After searching through all the boxes and drawers, he only found a pile of messy manuscripts - the posthumous works left by the original owner that were ready to be submitted.

There were quite a few medicine bottles, but they were all sleeping pills, and some of them were almost finished.

The original body had tried to commit suicide with sleeping pills. However, because he wanted to die but was subconsciously afraid of the pain of suffocation, he involuntarily controlled the dosage several times, resulting in him waking up hungry after sleeping for a few days as if nothing had happened.

Cowards are always hurt by happiness, and weak people dare not even face death.

Poor people are also hateful.

But now is not the time to dwell on that.

I was shivering with hunger, but I couldn't find even a coin that jingled in the house, let alone paper money.

Lin Sen had only two choices.

Either endure and wait for death, or ask for help.

Facts have proved that decency is worthless in the face of the torture of hunger and cold.

Without much hesitation, Lin Sen stood in front of the neighbor's door and knocked banging.