Uneasy daily life

"To deal with the assassination attempt by the Deadly Chef, I have devised a plan for you." Bai Ying said solemnly, "The Deadly Chef is obviously a guy who cares about atmosphere and ritual. As long as I confess my love to you first on the day of the fireworks festival, I will surely make him lose his will to fight on the spot and surrender. Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

Hachiman Hikigaya said dismissively, "Then am I supposed to accept the captain's confession? Anyway, thank you for your kindness, captain. You're a good person, but we're not a good match, so let's just forget about it."

"Hmm? Your line of refusal doesn't work. It should be said like this." Bai Ying commented, switching to Hikigaya Hachiman's voice, glancing to the side and laughing, "Ahahaha, that joke is funny, but the mighty Hachiman won't be fooled a second time..."

Hachiman Hikigaya calmly retorted, "Who would say something like that in a confession atmosphere? Only the club captain, right?"

Clearly, the mere grumbling of a subordinate couldn't stop Bai Ying's performance. He paused slightly, his gaze shifting from the side to the front, his tone low, his eyes seemingly fixed on a girl who had confessed to him: "I don't really have any likable qualities. In sports, I'm relentless; academically, I'm academically brilliant; and in interpersonal relationships, I'm utterly ruthless. To be honest, I don't really understand what you like about me. If it's gratitude, there's no need for that. If you're going to repay me with your body, then your pancakes will have to come..."

"Minister, your performance has completely gone off track!" Hachiman Hikigaya sprayed some desiccant, and upon hearing this, he couldn't help but retort, "What do you mean by 'mochi offering herself in return'? I'm a true cat lover!"

"I just like you..."

Bai Ying's expression stiffened, his eyes drooping slightly, as if he had been forced into a corner by the other party's deliberately forceful questioning. His cheeks puffed out slightly, and he gritted his teeth, which gave him courage. His voice was slightly hoarse as he spoke: "This isn't what I want. I crave something else—something not imposed on each other, not something with clear conditions, which is ultimately just my ugly self-gratification... Forcing a ridiculous and laughable relationship, something that has no clear reason but is more necessary than any reason, a gaze that can be arrogant enough to look each other in the eye... I can't say what it's called, but I know it's selfish, cruel, even laughable, something that may not even exist..."

Hachiman Hikigaya's expression stiffened slightly as he coughed lightly, "Captain, what strange riddle are you talking about? You..."

"But! I want that thing more than anyone else—"

The white figure suddenly turned around, her eyes filled with complex emotions—guilt, unease, hesitation, and a resolute determination tinged with a desperate sorrow: "What I want is that kind of thing... For a person, what they can't have must be the worst thing, right?"

"The grapes you can't reach are sour, but the grapes in your hand are sweet—I haven't lost my sense of taste. I know that the sweetness of grapes can make me feel happy and content. If I'm satisfied with that, I don't need to risk getting nothing and becoming paralyzed to get sour grapes."

"Painful, numb, hopeless, it will definitely leave me battered and bruised... I still want sour grapes. If the grapes in my hand fall to the ground and get covered in dust, and I can never taste them again, then that is the pain I deserve."

Hachiman Hikigaya involuntarily took two steps back, his facial expression slightly out of control: "Wait, wait, Captain..."

"I still want it! I want a real relationship! It might cause me pain, but it will never just disappear!" the white figure suddenly declared, her voice resounding. "Helping, being helped, strengths, weaknesses, characteristics, resonance, reasons, identities... If a relationship is established for a certain reason, it will inevitably break down for that same reason, and therefore it's definitely not real—"

"If you like someone because they are gentle, it is only natural to like someone who is even gentler. If you like someone because they are cute, it is only natural to like someone who is even cuter. If you like someone because they help you, it is also only natural to like someone who helps you. If you like someone because you are close to them, it is only natural to stop liking them when you are apart."

“I know this is an almost harsh and malicious speculation and thinking, so ugly, arrogant and absurd, but that’s exactly what I crave.”

"A relationship that leaves me with absolutely no reason to deny, except for trust, with no room for any distrust whatsoever!"

Hachiman Hikigaya remained motionless.

If a relationship is founded on tenderness, it will also end because of tenderness. If it's founded on misunderstanding, it will break down because of misunderstanding. If it's founded on money, it will also break down because of money. If it's founded on shared ideals, it will also break down due to differences in goals...

It seems that only blood ties, a physically indelible bond, possess absolute authenticity in human relationships.

How could the minister see through my utterly absurd delusion?

Hachiman Hikigaya was suddenly jolted back to reality by a gust of wind that seemed to be deliberately blowing on his face—the department head was fanning himself vigorously with both hands right in front of him.

"Ahem—Minister, I shouldn't be saying such abstract and strange things." Hachiman Hikigaya twitched his lips. "You don't need to add any more drama to my performance; it's a bit out of place."

The white figure chuckled strangely: "Hey, Hachimanba, am I your sour grape or your sweet grape?"

You're a poisonous grape!

"Minister, let's get to work quickly; the scope is quite large."

Hachiman Hikigaya, embodying the spirit of a diligent worker, offers this advice.

"Well, if I had to say, I'd say I'm just being sour grapes, right?" Bai Ying stroked her chin. "After all, I'm about to make you so sour you can't sleep."

Hachiman Hikigaya immediately became alert and said, "Minister! What are you going to do to Komachi? Come at me!"

"What does this have to do with Komachi?" Shiro waved his hand and said, "What I mean is—you're very calm right now, you just think that given Yuihama's personality, it's impossible for her to risk ruining the existing relationship by impulsively confessing to you."

"Yes Yes Yes……"

Hachiman Hikigaya stopped struggling. It was a little creepy to be understood to this extent. Could it be that the captain has some kind of superpower?

Yoshikage Kira can only explode hearts, how could he read minds? Wait a minute!

Hachiman Hikigaya remained silent for a moment, then tentatively asked, "...Captain, you're not telling the truth, are you?"

"I hereby solemnly declare that this has absolutely nothing to do with me."

Bai Ying skillfully deflected the blame, then shook her head and sighed, "My dear subordinate, it seems you've already become reluctant to part with the sweet grapes, and are thinking about things you used to scoff at..."

"I'm going to spray over there!"

Hachiman Hikigaya panicked and ran away without thinking.

"Gaa gaa gaa gaa gaa gaa—!"

The poisonous grapes laughed loudly.

Impossible! Yuihama would never confess to me—but she has the club president!

Yuihama, Yukinoshita, Aid Service Club, Club President... well, the club president can be ruled out!

Impossible! I, a lone wolf, would never let interpersonal relationships cloud my judgment, nor would I let emotions cloud my judgment and lead me astray. Calm down, calm down... Maybe the minister is lying again? No, the very thought and speculation that pops into my head proves that I'm anything but calm!

When did I become a spider on the web?!

Hachiman Hikigaya pondered restlessly, his mind racing with solutions to the problem, yet he couldn't help but reject them from every angle. Whether it was feigning illness at the fireworks festival or silently persuading Yuihama to back down by sticking close to others, he felt there was something wrong with each one... Using feigned affection to resolve a false relationship and thus directly solve the problem, there's nothing wrong with that... right?

"Hey! That makes things much easier..."

A sound entered his somewhat confused mind, and Hachiman Hikigaya snapped out of it and looked ahead.

The spray backpack floated past her head, significantly relieving the pressure on her shoulders. Angelina breathed a sigh of relief; superpowers were truly convenient!

Now let's get to work!

Angelina looked up, ready to continue working, when she saw a dumbfounded Hachiman Hikigaya staring at her.

Angelina: "..."

Hikigaya Hachiman: "..."

The backpack fell back to its rightful place, and the potential energy caused Angelina to stumble.

Angelina's expression kept changing.

Hikigaya Hachiman: "..."

If I pretend I didn't see anything right now, I can fool everyone...

"Sir!!"

Angelina ran towards the white figure, crying out in anguish.

Hachiman Hikigaya was utterly bewildered. According to the novel's plot… shouldn't he be the one running away?!

Chapter 134 Holding the Emperor Hostage to Command the Feudal Lords

"This is a bottle of Truth or Dare Coke. Once you drink it, you'll be unable to lie anymore and will have no choice but to tell the truth!"

The prop master calmly explained, "This method allows us to determine if you pose a potential danger; it's very convenient."

Is the situation going to get a little bad?

Hachiman Hikigaya was originally very calm. After all, he was a boy with a strong ability to accept things, and it had only been a few years since he called himself Kamisama.

When people think of themselves as kami (a derogatory term for someone who is incapable of being human), they are usually not very good at being human.

Until the white-clad figure forcefully locked the man in his arms with a serious expression, declaring that he would conduct an interrogation to ensure his loyalty, while Angelina looked guilty and the prop master looked radiant... So the three of you are in a little clique? Could it be the Crimson Troupe? Does that mean Phantom and the mouthpiece are too?

Hachiman stumbles into a mysterious society?!

With exceptional intelligence and intellect, how could one become a member of a high-ranking and mysterious society?!

Hachiman Hikigaya is about to save the world?!

The above divergent thinking is clearly wrong.

Correct conclusion – The minister is preparing to exploit this situation.

Confirm my foot! Are you trying to prank me?!

Hachiman Hikigaya immediately became alert: "Truth serum?"

"Don't compare that stuff to my work," the prop master said proudly. "So-called truth serum is just an anesthetic that makes it hard for people to think actively and respond to external inquiries unconsciously. It can neither reflect human characteristics nor express the form of thought. My Truth Coke can make people express their inner thoughts in a clear and autonomous manner."

Hachiman Hikigaya hesitated, "That sounds a bit strange?"

"Um..." Angelina said with a little guilt, "There shouldn't be any strange problems, right?"

Ugh, if I hadn't been so lazy, I wouldn't have been caught by Hachiman, and Hachiman wouldn't have been caught and interrogated by the officer...

"Of course not, prop makers' creations never have safety issues." Bai Ying patted Hachiman Hikigaya's chest and said, "How could I harm you? A person only has one mouth, unable to express their complex and conflicted feelings, so I call this thing Riddler Cola, a self-awareness stimulator..."

Hachiman Hikigaya subtly tried to break free: "...Minister, could you give me some specific examples?"

Bai Ying: "I didn't have any reaction after I drank it."

Hachiman Hikigaya, like a salted fish with no will to live, suddenly finds himself being used to do something unrelated to fish, and immediately uses a powerful water splash!

"Minister! I swear to God! I absolutely will not leak any information! I have no prejudice against the world of superpowers! Oh wait, I didn't see anything just now!"

"Don't be afraid! Getting to know a completely new version of yourself is like making a new friend!"

"That's exactly what the minister wanted!"

"Someone bring me a Coke!"

The prop master said expectantly, "I've put in so much effort and spent so much money on research and development, but unfortunately, after the troupe members drank it, the only effect was that they gathered to talk badly about the troupe leader and slander each other. It was basically ineffective. It seems that this regret can be made up for."

"Wait! Thump thump thump thump thump—!"

Interrupting.

Slightly sweet.

The sensation of dense bubbles bursting in the mouth.

A really good cola that could almost rival my favorite sweet coffee for the top spot.

The prop master asked, "How does it feel?"

Hachiman Hikigaya: "Perhaps I already possess the strength to transcend mediocrity, but it's not enough to sway my preferences. Cola still seems too childish to me; the rich, sweet flavor of Max Coffee, which blends bitterness with sweetness, is a more mature choice... Hah, speaking of which, even I, a lone wolf, unconsciously enjoy sweetness. After all, life is so hard, coffee should at least be a little sweet. But indulging in sweetness is not the right choice; being sweet for the sake of sweetness is a lie. I'd rather remain consciously in pain..."

Angelina exclaimed in surprise, "Has Hachiman become such a chatterbox?!"

Hachiman Hikigaya wanted to shut up, but couldn't help rambling on: "Being a chatterbox seems like a state of constant talking, but in reality, many of the chatterboxes I've met are just talking for the sake of talking. Even if there's no topic, they'll force it out. Limited by etiquette and relationships, the other person also has to constantly conform. So, two people who aren't really happy are having a seemingly happy conversation, which looks particularly ridiculous and absurd. This is a manifestation of hypocrisy..."

Angelina couldn't help but complain, "That's such a jumpy way of talking!"

"The effect is remarkable." White Shadow nodded in satisfaction. "Hachiman, you're definitely loyal to me, right?"

“I don’t really want to discuss the topic of the department head,” Hachiman Hikigaya blurted out. “If the department head and Totsuka Saika were the same person, I would definitely walk down a path that would not be tolerated by society…”

Angelina asked blankly, "Totsuka Saika? Who's that?"

"A cute boy," Bai Ying succinctly summarized.

"?!"

Angelina stared wide-eyed at Hachiman Hikigaya with a strange expression, her mind replaying the impressions she had made.

Hachiman Hikigaya couldn't help but scoff, "Conclusions are imprinted in your mind and euphemistically called common sense, while the underlying logic is discarded, and you become complacent in your own conformity. I certainly scoff at this, but as a risk assessment expert, I have no intention of refuting or correcting your ideas; that would only bring you unnecessary trouble. Besides, judging from the situation, superpowers seem quite different from what I thought. Anshinin-kun, there's no need to worry or have concerns. I'm just an ordinary high school student, and I don't have much of an inquisitive mind about the world..."

Bai Ying said knowingly, "As expected, she has a rebellious streak and likes to defy her superiors. Fine! I'll propose to Komachi later, then we'll be family, wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"If the minister and Komachi truly like each other, that could be a wonderful outcome. But Komachi only has respect and expectations for the minister, so please forgive me for sternly rejecting your wishful thinking. However, Komachi ultimately has her own path in life and her own social interactions besides mine. Perhaps at some point she will develop feelings for someone else, and as her older brother, I cannot hinder Komachi's life..."

Hachiman Hikigaya suddenly convulsed: "Kill! Kill! Kill! Whoever it is, only by defeating me will they have the right to meet Komachi! If they can't even kill me, what right do they have to say they like Komachi? If they are killed by me, how can a dead man like Komachi?! That's right! Perfect logic holds true!"

"I am the lone wolf, Hachiman Hikigaya! I will never be deceived by false feelings! Foolish teenagers, hop around like fleas!"

"Minister, go get a sex change right now!"

"Komachi! Waaaaah! For you, I'll be your slave—Wryyyyy! Captain, let's duel! I'll reclaim Komachi's respect! I'm Komachi's older brother!"

Hachiman Hikigaya is sometimes melancholic with youth, sometimes rebellious, sometimes impulsive, and sometimes sorrowful; his emotions are so abundant they're almost frightening.

Angelina: "...Sir, didn't you say that was fine?"

"From microorganisms to myths, from a sneeze to social structures, from a sentence to history, from a frog to art... Human thinking is like a boulder rolling down a mountain; once it starts, it can't be stopped, especially for someone like Hachiman who particularly enjoys thinking."

Bai Ying, holding her phone and recording the precious moments, said, "For example, after drinking Truth or Dare Coke, you might be shouting things like, 'Born to be 300 pounds, confident that being slightly chubby is beautiful!' 'Last Coke!' 'Why do superpowered people have to do summer homework?' 'The world revolves for me, the sun and moon hang upside down, if the heavens didn't give birth to me, I wouldn't care, loneliness is like snow in the human world.' 'Sir! Can I copy your homework?' and things like that..."

Is this a truth-telling cola or a trigger for chuunibyou (middle school syndrome)?!

Angelina thought for a moment, shuddered, and silently apologized to Hachiman Hikigaya.

Hikigaya, I'm going to let you see me use my superpowers.

……