Uneasy daily life

Sakurajima's mother fell silent, unable to think of anything to say for a moment...

“You can’t understand, can you? That’s normal,” Mai Sakurajima said. “Some things, we just have different opinions… Like my father, he’s like a stranger to me, a shadow. His divorce from my mother doesn’t matter to me.”

"How can we not care?!"

Sakurajima's mother, recalling the Toyohama mother she had just met, couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion: "It's all because of him! That's why we..."

Words slipped out of her mouth due to her emotions, but Sakurajima's mother couldn't continue speaking because she met Sakurajima Mai's sorrowful gaze.

“After meeting Kazuka that time, I knew I didn’t have a father, and from then on, other people’s opinions were no longer my concern.” Mai Sakurajima held her mother’s hand and said with some sadness, “Mom, before I was old enough to understand, we lived together, and after I was old enough to understand, we still lived together… Seventeen years, seventeen years of relying on each other for survival. When did I start to become someone you couldn’t understand, and when did I start to stop wanting to understand you?”

Sakurajima's mother felt a sudden, inexplicable panic. She squeezed her daughter's hand tightly and said, "It's okay. This means you're growing up. If you're unhappy or don't understand something, you can talk about it. Communicating can solve the problem..."

“It’s impossible, Mom.” Mai Sakurajima confided slowly, “I forced myself to finish that swimsuit photoshoot because it was your request. I love you and accept your love, so I swallowed all my dissatisfaction and pain… From the age of six, you have been both my manager and my mother—I know you love me better than anyone else.”

"But this must end here."

Mai Sakurajima said slowly but firmly, “I am your child, but I cannot be your child forever. I cannot be the continuation of your life, I cannot accept your all-consuming love anymore, I cannot be your support and hope anymore… I can cook for myself, I can clean my own room, I can find a job on my own, I can…”

"I can become an adult."

Sakurajima's mother sensed something was amiss and, still half-confused and half-unable to accept it, asked, "Mai! What are you trying to do?! Is there anything we can discuss—"

“This is not a discussion, this is my arbitrary decision, overbearing and unfilial.” Mai Sakurajima took a deep breath and said seriously, “After this movie is finished... I will retire from the entertainment industry, resign as my mother’s manager, and move out of the house to live alone.”

Sakurajima's mother was struck dumb, even doubting if her daughter was joking, feeling an empty, fearful emptiness in her heart: "W-why?! Mai! What are you doing...?"

"Because we have already overcome the hardships of life, our family is not short of money. Because I cannot and do not want to be the pillar of my mother's future. Because I do not want to be indecisive, I must show my determination through actions. Because Mom, you are only thirty-seven years old, you cannot put your entire future on my shoulders."

Mai Sakurajima reached out, moved closer, and hugged her somewhat disheveled mother, whispering, "Mom, I'm an adult now."

"But...but..." Sakurajima's mother's voice trembled, "but Mai is all I have left!"

Her mother's tearful voice echoed in her ears. Mai Sakurajima closed her eyes and gently patted her mother's back... I know, I know, from the day I was born, you have loved me deeply... You lost everything, and only I remained... I don't know if my love was right enough, or your love was more right.

But precisely because I love you, I cannot accept your love that sees me as everything.

"It's okay, Mom, you've already tried your best..."

"You have raised me to adulthood."

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Hand Fetish?

Being loved is a happy and painful thing. Reason knows that the mother means well, but feelings are painful because of the other person's advice, choices and control, telling yourself that you can't accept it; loving is also a happy and painful thing. Reason knows that this will hurt the mother, but feelings cannot lie and tell you that you must separate your almost overlapping lives.

This can't go on.

It's a terrifying thing for one person to have their thoughts, life, time, and focus entirely on another person, regardless of which one party is involved.

As long as Mom continues to see me as the only hope for the rest of her life, our lives and work will overlap, and we will inevitably clash on certain issues, which will inevitably lead to my dissatisfaction and rebellion.

The emotional turmoil between them caused emotional pain, which accumulated until one day they could no longer bear it and forcibly separated.

The worst outcome would be that we'd be separated by great distances and become like strangers. I wouldn't have to worry about or suffer from my mother's love anymore, nor would I have the chance to express my own thoughts. Life would always push me and my mother toward the future.

Before that swimming photoshoot in my third year of junior high, I never thought it was strange to follow my mother's decisions. And until now, I never thought it was strange to depend on my mother for support.

"Mai, you've worked so hard for so long, and you've finally achieved what you have today..."

"Mom, I don't like this career. The meaning of this job is over."

There are lies involved, but we have to say it and do it. If we can't translate our thoughts into actions, we'll just end up making things messy and indecisive without realizing it. Once we've made a decision, we shouldn't delay or hesitate, and we shouldn't leave ourselves any room for wishful thinking.

"We're all adults now. Let's rediscover our lives together and find a distance that we can both accept... I have to go now, I have filming this afternoon."

Mom isn't deaf to reason; can't we take it slow? Mom has sacrificed so much for you; wouldn't it be better to go along with her wishes? Is it really necessary to sever all professional ties by leaving the entertainment industry? Is this truly love for her, or is it hurting her? Aren't you afraid of becoming strangers, finding it hard to love Mom anymore, and Mom not daring to love you back, leaving you all alone?

Mai Sakurajima left the room, raised her hand to her chest and took a deep breath, casting aside the constant self-doubt and cowardice. The churning guilt and conflicting emotions almost made her heart ache with tears.

Next, she went to find Hehua and Auntie to reveal that she was retiring from the entertainment industry after filming this movie.

Hopefully, we can get the aunt to change her behavior and reduce the pressure on Hehua.

It hurts so much... Even after rationally going through it countless times and rehearsing it in my mind many times, the thought of having to sever ties with my mother, with whom I've depended for over a decade, in terms of life and work, still hurts so much... I can't cry. I've already made this decision, so who am I supposed to cry to?

I'm an adult now, and I'm a person now.

……

……

"Go buy some clothes and find a hotel to change into."

Haruno Yukinoshita suggested, "You look like you've just jumped into the river, how can you get on the train?"

"Of course I can, it's the middle of summer. I stood on the bus for over an hour, moving around evenly to dry myself."

The white figure spread its arms and spun around. After standing on the bus for more than an hour, the watermarks that had emerged from the river had completely disappeared.

“The water has dried up, your clothes are wrinkled, some parts are covered in dried mud, and your hair is tangled up in clumps.” Yukino Haruno observed carefully and commented, “Anyone who didn’t know better would think you were going to beg on the train. You should buy some clothes, take a bath, and change.”

The white figure, unconvinced, shuddered and shook off the dirt: "Someone as handsome as me, why would I need to beg?"

"With your looks, you're born to beg for food."

"Well, I also have talent!"

"A talented beggar..." Yukino thought for a moment, then gave an example, "How about composing some begging songs?"

Why do you have such a strong aversion to begging?

"You have to beg for me to give you food," Yukinoshita Haruno replied with a smile. "Looking like this, don't you want to take a shower and change your clothes?"

"Don't go!"

Bai Ying decisively rejected the idea, saying, "9528! I bet you're up to some kind of scheme again!"

Yukinoshita pressed her fingers against her cheek, her gaze wandering, and said, "What bad intentions could Haruno possibly have? Don't judge a gentleman by your own petty standards, you scoundrel."

"I think you have osteoporosis."

The two chatted as they arrived at the Kamiyama City tram station, bought tickets and boarded the tram without any trouble. However, many people took a second look at the white figure, who looked like a dried-up drowned rat.

Bai Ying sat in the innermost seat, took out her phone which had survived two dips in the river and was still stubbornly holding on, and noticed that she had been banned from the group for a month. She remained calm about it - it's just a ban, if the brave plus is getting anxious, it means that her anti-fan work is going well!

Let me see what this group of people are discussing...

[Little Pockmarked Boy: Impossible! It can't be! Why is this happening? I can't accept it!]

[Crow: Does anyone know what happened? Did our army suddenly win a great victory?]

[Wooden Fish: Only people in the industry know the truth about this—the group admin seems to be an insider?]

[Wooden Fish: @WantToBeABunnyGirl, Group Owner! Come and share some juicy gossip!]

[Insomnia: @XiaoMazi, the end of the world for fans has come! Unfollow!]

[Little Mako: Sakurajima-san—! There must be some kind of conspiracy! Who's trying to trip up Sakurajima-san?!]

Before Bai Ying could scroll through the chat history with interest, a private message popped up.

[Sakurajima Mai is the best: Hey! Are you there?]

[Bai Liang and Bai Ying: Not here.]

[Sakurajima Mai is the best: Why did my sister suddenly decide to retire from the entertainment industry?! Did you do it?!]

[Bai Liang and Bai Ying: ?]

[Sakurajima Mai is the best: You? What? Ah!]

[Bai Liang Bai Ying: I'm already on the train home, and instead of asking Sakurajima Mai over there, you come to me asking what's going on with Sakurajima Mai? Are you stupid?]

[Sakurajima Mai is the best: You're the idiot! It was definitely you who did it!]

[Bai Liang and Bai Ying: What a clever way to frame someone! I didn't hold a gun to her head and force her to leave the industry.]

[Sakurajima Mai is the best: Then why is that?]

[Bai Liang and Bai Ying: Of course it's because of you.]

[Sakurajima Mai is the best: Huh?]

[Bai Liang and Bai Ying: Think about it—your mom just wants to compare you to your sister, driving you crazy and making you run away from home. If your sister chooses to retire from the entertainment industry, will your mom still use your sister to pressure you? Will she still nag you every day to be more successful than your sister?]

[Sakurajima Mai is the best: This is impossible!]

[Bai Liang Bai Ying: Why is it impossible? Think about it carefully. Your sister likes you a lot, and your mother is using her to pressure you. Your sister also knows about this. So what do you think she will do? She can't just start lecturing your mother, can she? After all, she's not her mother.]

[Sakurajima Mai is the best: But she doesn't need to retire from the entertainment industry, right?!]

[Bai Liang Bai Ying: Do you think she cares a lot? Her half-sister, with simple yet enthusiastic praise, gave her the courage to overcome difficulties in her career and gain a special fan. Now, as an idol, she has retired from the entertainment industry to help her fan with her difficulties, which is truly a heartwarming story.]

There was no reply from the other end; they were probably caught up in existential doubts and logical thinking.

Bai Ying happily scrolled through the updates and, sure enough, found that Mai Sakurajima's official verified account had posted a declaration of retiring from the entertainment industry.

Mai Sakurajima

[Due to the need to focus on my studies, I will be temporarily suspending all entertainment activities. Thank you very much for your support and concern.]

The comments section was a chaotic mess. Laments and inquiries, speculation and opposition, blessings and bewilderment—all sorts of comments expanded the area rapidly.

The actions were so swift, the official announcement so sudden—it's as if they're afraid of backing down and are determined to see things through to the end.

[Bai Liang and Bai Ying: This is definitely a publicity stunt to generate buzz for the new movie.]

[French Fries: @BaiLiangBaiYing, that's not necessarily true. A few minutes before this post came out, the TV station also released a similar statement, which included specific interview content.]

[Sky Blue: @Bai Liang Bai Ying, who would use retirement as a publicity stunt?!]

[Nine Rooms: @BaiLiangBaiYing, this person is a hater!]

[Bai Liang Bai Ying: @Jiu Jian, of course I'm a hater! This post is definitely a publicity stunt. He's feigning reluctance to go into seclusion in the mountains, then using that fame to justify a potential official post. A classic tactic!]

Bai Ying pressed her phone and began battling various keyboard warriors, while simultaneously taking screenshots one by one, including those of Mai Sakurajima's posts.

Send another private message to the top undercover agent.

[Bai Liang and Bai Ying: You must learn to meow like a cat.]

The other party didn't waste any words and immediately blocked me.

Bai Ying immediately blacklisted the person who wanted to be a bunny girl.

mere bravery...brave...brave plus...

"Hmm?" Bai Ying frowned, lost in thought.

Yukinoshita Haruno noticed his abrupt action and turned her head to say, "You rascal, what kind of crazy idea do you have now?"

"9528, how's your memory?"

The white figure turned to look at Yukino Yukinoshita, her gaze being drawn to that hand like iron filings—Hmm? Why does 9528's hand suddenly seem so alluring? Look at those long, beautiful hands, the sensual marks left by her fingertips when practicing guitar, they must be the kind of hands that, when placed near the ear, can produce beautiful melodies…

"It's alright, I can remember the lines you wrote."

Yukinoshita leaned forward and tilted her head slightly, raising her hand from the armrest to support her cheek: "Why are you suddenly asking this? Do you want to have a contest to see who has a better memory?"

Bai Ying forcefully shifted her gaze from her hand to the other person's face and asked seriously, "What does 1+1 equal?"

Yukinoshita narrowed her eyes slightly, stroking her chin in thought: "This question is quite difficult... Let me think... Could the answer be 2?"

Bai Ying's gaze shifted from her face to her hands: "Very good, your memory has surpassed that of 10% of the world's population."

"That sounds impressive. This is more than what humans who haven't learned 1+1 can do, including newborns and toddlers... Hmm? We've arrived."

Yukinoshita stood up and waved goodbye with a smile: "You rascal, don't forget my lyrics."

"I'm thinking about it, I'm thinking about it."

The white figure forcibly closed its eyelids, and simultaneously suppressed the pink Stand energy rising from its shoulder.

After getting off at Tokyo Station, the expired girl carrying a guitar lost her smile and watched the train drive away, her face full of thought.

What a jerk... does he have a hand fetish?

Chapter Thirty: White Shadow: You're playing dirty tricks!

Yukinoshita was a little confused. Was that jerk staring at her hands just now? Wherever she put her hands, his gaze followed, as if there was gravity on her hands.