Uneasy daily life

At this very moment, of all times, why did it have to be at this very moment that I had to see your true self...? Why did you only say you love me at this very moment...? Are you too strong, only shedding a few tears when you're sad, or am I just too good at lying, able to deceive you for over a decade? Or are you just too stupid, able to be fooled by me for so many years...?

Yukinoshita lowered her head, propping her forehead up with her hand, and said in a hoarse voice, "In my eyes, you are the one who arranges everything in my life. Everything has already been arranged by you, and I have no choice at all. Maybe even where I will be buried after I die is decided by you..."

Yukinoshita's mother said softly, "If anyone's going to be buried, it's you who should bury me, but I've always thought it's absurd to think about where to bury me—your father probably just goes wherever I am."

"I think the feudal families in those grand mansions in novels are just like my family. You're the patriarch, and I have to marry whoever you tell me to marry..."

"I don't know how my parents got together."

Yukinoshita's mother said, "Your father and I got married because I was pregnant, but it's not really true. Actually, your father knew about your father and me. We were both already in the workforce at that time. Your father is really hard to describe. He hadn't studied properly for more than ten years, but he beat me in less than a few years. Now that I think about it, if I hadn't gotten pregnant with you, I probably would have had to compete with your father for several more years before I would have admitted defeat. I would have been unwilling to accept it but happy to bring him home to get married."

“I really hope you can find someone you like while you’re in school… Your father is right about this. Once you get older and enter society, real-world problems will keep bothering you. From then on, you’ll have to be calculating and utilitarian in everything you do. When you meet someone who makes your heart flutter when you’re young, take the initiative and hold on tight. If you can hold on tight, it’s a lifelong commitment.”

Yukino's mother sighed softly, "You...do you think I wouldn't approve of early relationships, so you have no opinion?"

"...You're still wrong. In junior high, I was so focused on how to complete your instructions that it was exhausting. By high school, I felt that my peers were all more boring and childish than the last. Who would date a little kid? And the more I learned, the more I felt that you would bring me a live-in son-in-law to breed with at any time."

"That is indeed a big mistake."

"Tsk, what are you planning to do with the family? Leave them to Yukino?"

“Yukino has her own problems too. I’m waiting for her to speak up… Perhaps she won’t inherit the family business in the end.” Yukino’s mother said softly. “Last night I was thinking about what the family business really meant to me—it was my parents’ tired figures, my naive and bold ideas, and my persistence in doing what my father denied me. In the end, it became my pursuit, although I still lost to your father.”

“During those years of competing with your father, I encountered many things. Fame and fortune are both tainted by the corrupt desires of the human heart, and everyone is struggling. I did have selfish motives in entrusting you and Yukino with the task of inheriting the family business, but I also wanted what your father and I had worked hard for to make your future easier and to shoulder more of life's burdens for you in advance…”

"Man proposes, God disposes; life is unpredictable. This kind of thinking has become a burden for you, distorting your lives from the very beginning."

Yukino's mother sighed, "Your father and I have discussed it. No matter what you want to do in the future, home will be your haven and support. Your father can still hold on for several decades... Think about it carefully, several decades is too long. No one can predict what will happen. You and Yukino may suddenly want to inherit the family business, your children may be interested, or a sudden disaster may occur, and the so-called family business may be wiped out."

"Time will give us the answer. Until then, let's move forward... I've always thought your father's words were just wishful thinking, and I've talked about them a lot. But now it seems I've lost to him again. Actually, he might be more suited to educating you. I'll just charge forward and won't turn back until I hit a wall."

Yukinoshita, resting her chin on her hand, said, "I want to go live abroad directly."

"...Okay, as long as you stick to your bottom line."

“When I think like that, I don’t feel like I can’t survive. I don’t feel anxious about the future. I only have a desire to escape the past… I have good grades, I speak foreign languages, and I learned to socialize early. I can fool anyone with a mask on. It’s not hard to find a way to make a living. Even if I end up washing dishes in a restaurant, I have the physical strength and health. But then I think about how you forced me to learn all of these things, and that annoys me.”

Yukino Yukino murmured absentmindedly, "Back then, I felt that... in this life, I would probably only be able to eke out a living as 'the daughter raised by my mother,' and curse you in my heart when no one was around to console myself."

"Now you say you've given me freedom, but it seems like I have no choice at all. I feel empty inside, all I want to do is drink, and I can easily get through the day by simply closing and opening my eyes... How easy is that?"

"You can try slowly, take your time. It's okay to fail, it's okay to lose interest, it's okay to run away... You have to make a decision slowly."

"...What if I just want to drink?"

“I have always scoffed at violent education, but perhaps there is some truth to it that I have overlooked… Now that I think about it, physical punishment is the most effective way to correct your father’s bad habits.”

Yukinoshita's mother's voice trembled, but her expression was firm as she said, "Even if it makes you think about defeating me, it's still a viable option."

Yukinoshita's mother added, "Thanks to your father, I was very careful with my actions, and you still have university to go to... I've made many mistakes in other things, but I think it's right to let you go to school, isn't it?"

A series of images suddenly flashed through Yukino's mind—her father being thrown to the ground, her father being thrown to the ground, her father being thrown to the ground...

Suddenly, the private room was filled with an atmosphere of full-blown fighting and filial piety between mother and daughter.

This person is still so strong even now, it's so annoying.

"I'm going out for some fresh air. The smell of alcohol in here is too strong, and my head is a bit heavy."

"it is good."

The two pushed open the door and walked out of the private room.

Hiratsuka Shizuka raised her eyebrows slightly, her tense heart relaxing a little. Yukinoshita's father glanced at the mess in the private room and his wife's condition, then quickly turned around to find the boss to compensate for the damage and deal with the aftermath.

Stepping out of the store, it was past noon. The not-so-glaring sunlight shone down, dispelling the last trace of the lingering intoxication.

Yukino Yukinoshita was startled and slowly opened her squinted eyes.

Streets, houses, sunlight, distant rolling mountains, birds flying by...

My heart feels empty, yet I find myself murmuring to myself unconsciously.

Ah... is the world really this big?

"You're heartless, shameless, and unreasonable!"

"you--"

"What do you mean, 'I'? I'm not heartless, shameless, or unreasonable!"

"I...I clearly..."

"You are clearly heartless, shameless, and unreasonable!"

Ahead on the street, a white figure is arguing with Sakurajima Mai in public... right?

Yukinoshita's mother: "?"

Yukinoshita Yono: "?"

Chapter 123 Let's Have a Little Impromptu Performance

"Is the assessment just a test of acting skills? What are we doing on the street?"

Mai Sakurajima stood with her arms crossed, looking around at the numerous pedestrians and scattered shops, feeling somewhat bewildered.

Bai Ying replied matter-of-factly, "It's a roadshow."

"A promotional event? I did study singing, but my level is very amateurish. Besides, I don't have the equipment for a promotional event, do I?" Mai Sakurajima asked strangely. "This doesn't seem to have anything to do with acting skills."

Bai Ying shook her head and said, "A roadshow can be a performance on the street, or it can be a play performed on the street."

"A roadside performance?" Mai Sakurajima glanced at the white figure suspiciously, wondering if this guy was trying to prank her.

"Scientific progress has brought about repeated innovations in artistic expression. The advent of the camera pushed painting in another direction, various musical instruments gave music different sounds and colors, and photography, editing and other steps have enabled performances to transcend time and space. The internet originated from reality but has detached itself from reality, opening up entirely new ground..."

Bai Ying, with the air of a master, said in a deep voice: "However, no matter how varied external things may be, how different techniques may be, or how different ideas may flow and collide, in my opinion, art has only one essence—expression."

"As long as humans have the urge to express themselves, art will never die."

The sunlight shone on his solemn face, making him appear exceptionally dignified and sacred.

Mai Sakurajima pondered, "When someone suddenly starts talking about grand principles, you should be wary of whether it's a rhetorical scam."

"Ha, that's not some profound principle."

Bai Ying looked at the other person, his eyes seemingly sparkling with light: "A person who hesitates to express himself cannot touch the light of art. There is no filming for a play. Once you step onto the stage, you must perform until the very last moment. Just like embarking on the road of life, no matter how many times you memorize your lines or how many times you rehearse your actions in your mind, an actor is always improvising on stage."

"There will be no editing, no mistakes can be covered up, there will be no interruptions and restarts, you can only go through the whole thing from start to finish in one go, no one will wait for you to correct your mistakes, there are only enemies on the stage."

"Want to step onto the stage? Want to become part of the art? Shine! Those who cannot shine cannot survive on stage."

"If you're afraid your dreams will burn you, then take back your wild words."

His words were calm yet powerful, his expression radiant, and his eyes conveyed a sense of questioning and pressure.

Dreams...

Sakurajima Mai became serious and smiled, "Mr. Bai's evaluation criteria seem to be very strict. What will we be performing for the roadshow? What's the script?"

"There is no fixed script, no fixed lines, and no pre-written ending. As for whether it will succeed or fail, you will find the answer yourself."

Bai Ying walked forward for a while and came to a wide intersection on the street. He turned around and smiled, "Well then, the assessment will begin now."

Mai Sakurajima was a little confused.

A roadshow... if you have equipment, you can express yourself with music, but how do you promote acting? Without lines or a script, you can't even rehearse. When learning acting, you mostly follow the templates given by your teacher, and even if you have some original expression, what does that have to do with going out on the street...?

Let's break up!

A hoarse roar, breaking the rhythm of her sobs, broke through the silence.

Passersby glanced over instinctively, and the shop owner, who was sitting in a chair playing on his phone, looked up. The semi-urbanized countryside wasn't that crowded, but the sudden gathering of gazes still made Mai Sakurajima freeze, staring at the white figure in disarray.

Bai Ying's eyes were red, she took a deep breath and her throat moved slightly: "We're over—I tried so hard, why are you still not good enough? The excellence you want, I can't achieve, I don't even know what you want... I know you're famous, a star, with all sorts of jobs to do, your schedule is packed every day. You have high expectations of me, it's for my own good, you want me to keep up with you, I know."

Sakurajima Mai struggled to concentrate, trying to suppress her chaotic thoughts. Wait! This is the start of the assessment? No, no, it feels more like a trap set by anti-fans…

"But what girlfriend would give her boyfriend a box of exam papers as a birthday present!"

Mai Sakurajima's eye twitched, and she couldn't help but smile: "Wait, you..."

"What exactly are your expectations? What kind of person do you want me to become? Be clear! Top 30 in the grade? Top 10? Or number one? What level do you want me to reach in the future? Making money? How much monthly salary do you want, 100,000? 1 million? 10 million? How successful do you think I have to be to be worthy of you!"

"What constitutes success? Can you tell me? Is it being better off than two hundred people? Better off than one hundred thousand people? Better off than one million, ten million, or one hundred million people? How many people do you want me to climb to before I'm worthy of you? What percentage do you want me to be to be satisfied?!"

The boy clutched his chest, looked up and took a deep breath, murmuring, "On my birthday, my dad sold the guitar he had kept from his youth and bought me a cake."

Wait a minute! In her words, she's practically becoming a devilishly career-driven, cold-blooded girlfriend!

No one will wait for you to correct your mistakes; on this stage, there are only enemies.

Mai Sakurajima realized that if things continued like this, her image would be arbitrarily determined by the other party, and she would never be able to recover! She had to seize the power of discourse!

"It's not what you say."

Oh no, I'm starting to get distracted by other people's stares!

"It's not just what I said!" The white figure strode forward, "You're heartless, shameless, and unreasonable!"

Mai Sakurajima: "You—"

"What do you mean, 'I'? I'm not heartless, shameless, or unreasonable!"

Calm down, calm down...

That being said, this is completely different from the usual filming schedules. There is no director who will suddenly interrupt and give instructions, no script to prepare for, no sense of power from the other party who is relentless and pressing, as if trying to completely crush you, and you can't help but be affected by the gaze of others.

"I...I clearly..."

"You are clearly heartless, shameless, and unreasonable!"

Bai Ying let out an angry growl, his tense body relaxed, and he took a step back dejectedly, standing loosely and self-deprecatingly, "...I'm very sorry, I got agitated. Heh, I feel really bad for letting you see an incompetent and furious piece of trash."

You've already set up my character for me, haven't you?

Mai Sakurajima's heart sank. Whether it was a trap or a genuine test, she had to put on a good show—her current performance would make her just a fleeting passerby in a TV drama or movie.

"Oh my, why are you so excited?"

The white figure swerved to the side, dodging an outstretched claw, and frowned at the intruder, saying, "You..."

"Yes, I...I..."

Yukinoshita chuckled, let out a hiccup, then her smile vanished, and she said expressionlessly, "You really just left like that, you jerk! You just left me at the izakaya... hiccup~ Such a clean breakup, so you've found someone new?"

Mai Sakurajima seized the opportunity, crossed her arms, frowned, and coldly questioned, "What does this mean? I was just reflecting on whether I was putting too much pressure on you, but now it seems you're playing quite the trick."

Bai Ying shook her head sadly and said, "You're always filming and on TV shows, and I barely see you a few times a semester. I've been planning to break up with you and be with Senior Yang Nai for a while now. At least she won't be someone I can't see all the time, and she won't be a ghost girlfriend who only exists on the phone..."

"But you still cheated on me, didn't you?!"

Mai Sakurajima wanted to nail this down.

"Cheating? Is there really a track between us? Even after we broke up, I had to chase you all the way to this place just to see you."

Bai Ying laughed self-deprecatingly, "Sometimes, I even wonder if I'm just a shield you've found."

"I'm not even afraid of being exposed for having an affair, and you're telling me I'd use you as a shield?"

Sakurajima Mai was preparing to unleash a barrage of punches at the other man, calling him a scumbag, incompetent, useless, and irresponsible scapegoat, when Yukinoshita Haruno turned and sneered, "Your affairs are none of my business, I have no interest in them—you bastard! Did you seduce my sister? Is that why you're dumping me?"

Bai Ying sighed deeply and said in a pained voice, "I do have some connection with Yukino."

"Heh..." Mai Sakurajima took two steps forward and chuckled coldly, "You seem to have gotten even more sophisticated with your games."

Yukinoshita took two steps closer, tilting her head with a blank look and asking with a smile, "Hey, what's going on between you and my sister?"

"Now that things have come to this... it seems there's no way to hide it anymore."

Bai Ying staggered back two steps, shook her head and said, "At first I was very happy to be in a relationship with Mai-san, but later I was dissatisfied with Mai-san's behavior of always being out of sight and putting pressure on me by phone. That's why I fell for the gentle Haruno-senpai. Through Haruno-senpai, I got to know Haruno-senpai's younger sister Yukino—I fell in love with her at first sight and couldn't help but want to get close to her. I had a strange impulse towards her... Later I realized it was because she looked too much like a boy."

Mai Sakurajima: "?"

Yukinoshita Yono: "?"

The white figure cried out sadly and resolutely, "Her chest is too flat! She looks too much like a boy! The more I like her, the more I realize that I don't actually like her, I don't actually like girls! What I really like is a cute boy like Hikigaya-kun! So I have to break up with you and Yukino, I can't give you the future you want!"

Mai Sakurajima: "Ah...uh..."

"Pfft—hahahahaha... Yukino, cough cough, aren't you afraid of being stabbed to death by Yukino? Hahahaha!"