I have a life simulator.

Sakayanagi Arisu reached out and took Hotaru off her shoulder, pulling her into her arms with both hands. This action, which usually terrified Hotaru, was different this time, because the other person didn't continue to spout the outrageous statement like "From now on, your name is Ryou" as in the simulation. Instead, he was gently stroking the hair on Hotaru's back.

However, Hotaru didn't pay much attention to Sakayanagi Arisu's changes at this time. She had completely forgotten the task her brother had given her and was now focused on watching another good show from afar. And she did not disappoint her. Under the tailor-made guidance of Kitagawa Ryo, the master of the field of conquest, she successfully pushed the battle line to a new level.

At this moment, everyone's successes and failures shone behind her, perfectly highlighting the saying that she was not fighting alone.

If she could send real-time voice messages, she probably would already be getting the hang of the micro-operations. However, after tonight's conversation temporarily came to an end, Hotaru tilted her head again, feeling that if she were to actually go for it, she might not be as good as another Hotaru.

Rather, it's more accurate to say that her initial worries were completely erased the moment the other party accepted the director's cut of memories she had passed on last night.

Even though their experiences are different, the other party is still the sister who has shared more than ten years of memories with her brother, so his actions this time are just icing on the cake.

However, this does not affect Hotaru's genuine happiness for herself now. Just like when Kitagawa Ryo asked her for her opinion on the other Hotaru, she replied that the other person was a version of herself with a greater chance of realizing her wish. Her ending was already predetermined, but the other person's was not, and that new ending also belonged to Hotaru.

"Ryo should be staying at the hotel by now. I wonder if Yuki regrets not joining the drama club and instead choosing to join the student council to oppose me. How childish..."

As if talking to herself, on this night when the entire drama club was away from school, Sakayanagi Arisu was talking to the kitten.

This can be considered one of her lingering habits from the past. After all, for a long time, Hotaru was practically a relic of Kitagawa Ryo to her, and talking to her was like talking to Ryo.

It must be said that this is also a manifestation of her arrogance.

Trying to remove the halo of glory that she had forcibly imposed on the past, Sakayanagi Arisu once again held the kitten high in front of her eyes:

"Hotaru is indeed a very beautiful and cute kitten. No wonder Ryo likes you so much and even gave you the same name as his sister."

Hotaru simply raised her chin proudly and accepted the praise from Sakayanagi Arisu quite readily.

After all, she is Hotaru, so naturally she should be the most beautiful girl when she is human, and the cutest kitten when she is a cat, the kind that can make her brother fall head over heels for her.

“Yixia said last time that my problem was that I was too arrogant, but if that’s the case, anyone can bear such a judgment, including her and Xue.”

In the recently concluded special pairing exam for first and second graders, she and Yuki achieved a commendable third place. However, in their competition, Sakayanagi Arisu was slightly inferior, losing to Yuki by three points.

If you count it, this is her second consecutive defeat after losing to Amasawa Ichika in chess more than a month ago. However, Sakayanagi Arisu herself did not have any intense psychological fluctuations, but accepted the fact quite calmly.

In a book I read as a child, there was a passage that said:

The three steps to growing up are gradually realizing that parents are not omnipotent, you are not omnipotent, and your children are not omnipotent.

She may have realized it, but she still doesn't acknowledge it.

Why is it?

Is it because once you lose that extraordinary self-esteem and competitive spirit, as well as that so-called 'arrogance,' you will lose all those shining qualities that make you stand out from the crowd, and become mediocre and submerged in the sea of ​​people, never to be noticed or discovered by others again?

Sakayanagi Arisu is not yet able to answer this question to herself, but she is still trying to make changes, including her own change in attitude towards Kitagawa Ryo.

"The warmth of my skin..."

Recalling her father's words, Sakayanagi Arisu wrapped her hands, which had been warmed by the teacup, around Hotaru's cheeks and brought her nose close to Hotaru's, savoring the faint, refreshing scent emanating from her.

"I want one too."

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Unlike the second-year seniors who had stayed in hotels several times and were already quite familiar with everything, the two first-year new members of the drama club, who had only been recruited this year, were still somewhat excited or nervous about staying in a hotel that didn't look cheap. So after putting their luggage away, Nanase Tsubasa took the initiative to knock on Tsubaki Sakurako's door, intending to chat with her.

"Why do you still have to study even though you're on holiday and out of school? So demanding!"

As soon as she walked in, Nanase Tsubasa spotted half of a workbook peeking out of Tsubaki Sakurako's suitcase and teased her about it.

"...Because I did poorly on the test."

Tsubaki Sakura hesitated for a moment before nodding in agreement and offering this explanation.

"Didn't you and the club president get second place in the group rankings? If that's considered a poor performance, then my fifth place and Ichinose-senpai's fifth place can be considered a failure."

Nanase Tsubasa raised an eyebrow in surprise, but quickly regained her composure:

"Oh—you feel like you dragged the minister down, right? After all, the fact that he only got second place this time has been quite a topic of discussion on the forum. It seems that the minister was the undisputed first place in many special exams before."

As soon as she said those words, Tsubaki Sakura pursed her lips tightly, her feelings a mixture of emotions.

Although Kitagawa Ryo himself didn't have much of a thought about whether the final group ranking was first or second, it was definitely a chapter that Tsubaki Sakurako, who had taken the initiative to team up with him, couldn't easily let go of.

After all, you can tell from the specific scores that they lost to Ayanokouji Kiyotaka's group because they couldn't withstand the pressure. Despite Kitagawa Ryo's impeccable performance, they lost to Ishigami Kyo from Class 1-A, which led to the final difference of a few points.

Tsubaki Sakura herself is not a girl with a strong competitive spirit, so what makes her more upset about this matter is what Nanase Tsubasa just said, after all, she really broke Kitagawa Ryo's winning streak this time.

Over the course of more than a month, her view of Kitagawa Ryo has actually shed its initial stereotypes, and she is increasingly able to understand why her older sister fell in love with him in the first place.

"I will find an opportunity to apologize to him properly."

"Ah—well, actually that's not what I meant, and the minister probably doesn't mean it that way either..."

Nanase Tsubasa wanted to say a few more words of comfort, but she quickly stopped herself.

Because she discovered a fact from the other person's expression: that Tsubaki Sakura was indeed the biological younger sister of the leader of Class D, who was known to everyone in the first year.

In certain aspects that are so extreme as to be chilling, they do indeed share a certain inherited trait.

Chapter 31: I feel like spring is my home turf!

After two days of off-campus competition, Kitagawa Ryo and the drama club returned to Tokyo Advanced Ikusei Junior High School on May 3.

The Golden Week holiday wasn't completely over yet, and the campus was still bustling with activity. From the Beech Tree Shopping Center to the forest trails, groups of students could be seen everywhere, chatting and laughing about everyday topics.

Among them, the first-year students talked the most about the new special exam to be held at the end of this month. The last special exam, which they partnered with the second-year students, was actually mainly aimed at the second-year students. It was just a small appetizer to let the newly enrolled first-year students experience the atmosphere of Dongyu. Therefore, this time it can be considered the first formal special exam they will face since entering Dongyu.

However, so far the school and class advisors have only given a hint. The first-year students know that this special exam involves changes in class points and that some students may drop out. Other details are still not public.

Kitagawa Ryo had heard some rumors from Sima Kedian, the homeroom teacher of Class 1-D. The special exam for the first-year students was similar in scope to their first midterm exam. However, since they had already taken a partner test related to academic ability in April, this exam would focus on club activities.

Smack's own words were somewhat vague, which made Kitagawa Ryo curious about what would happen to students who hadn't joined any clubs or belonged to the Going Home Club if this special exam was related to clubs.

While his thoughts were wandering slightly, Kitagawa Ryo dragged his luggage back to dormitory room 408. He habitually said, "I'm back," but didn't hear a familiar response. He then remembered that Hotaru had been sent to Sakayanagi Arisu's place.

After taking out his underwear and other miscellaneous items from his suitcase and organizing them, Kitagawa Ryo was about to take out his phone to send a message to Sakayanagi Arisu to inquire about her situation when, unexpectedly, the other party had already sent him a message first:

"came back?"

"Yeah, I just got to the dorm and finished unpacking."

"Come up and take the cat away."

"Okay, come right away."

After a brief exchange, Kitagawa Ryo left his dormitory and took the elevator to the floor above. In no time, he arrived at the floor where Sakayanagi Arisu's room was located.

Not long ago, this floor and Sakayanagi Arisu's dormitory were among the places he frequented most, but thinking about it carefully, the last time the two of them did morning exercises was last year, a fact that made Kitagawa Ryo himself feel a little dazed.

Knowing that he would only be up for two minutes, Sakayanagi Arisu opened the door to her room in advance. Kitagawa Ryo pushed open the half-closed door and bumped into Sakayanagi Arisu, who was clearly dressed up carefully, and the kitten she was holding in her arms.

Kitagawa Ryo caught Hotaru, who, instead of meowing, pounced on him because she noticed the door was ajar. Then, he looked up at Sakayanagi Arisu, whom he hadn't seen for several days, and extended an invitation to her, understanding her unspoken message:

"After I take Hotaru back to her room, shall we go for a walk outside? The weather is quite nice today."

"Okay, I'll wait for you downstairs."

Sakayanagi Arisu nodded gently in agreement. For some reason, the impression she gave Kitagawa Ryo today was noticeably different from the past. Kitagawa Ryo even looked down at the kitten in his arms with some suspicion, wondering if the kitten had given Arisu some kind of magical gadget, just like Suzune did on Valentine's Day.

After quickly stuffing the kitten into his backpack, which he had brought with him, Kitagawa Ryo left Sakayanagi Arisu's room. This time, he didn't even wait for the elevator. Instead, he rushed down the stairs to his own room, unzipped his backpack, and released Hotaru back out.

"What have you put out for Arisu these past two days?"

Seeing the kitten, which seemed to be in a great mood and was wagging its tail rapidly up, down, left, and right as soon as it landed, seemingly cosplaying as a canine, Kitagawa Ryo couldn't help but ask it a question.

But Hotaru just honestly shook her head at this.

These past two days, she and another Hotaru have been too busy talking on the phone in their dreams to figure out how to win you over, so she hasn't had time to care about Sakayanagi Arisu.

"Is there anything noteworthy about Arisu these past few days?"

"...Never mind, I can't keep Arisu waiting too long, I'll go down now."

Seeing the kitten ready to demonstrate its one-finger typing skills without saying a word, Kitagawa Ryo gave up asking any further questions and decided to ask it himself later. After reminding the kitten to take good care of the house, he left the dormitory room again and walked towards the lobby on the first floor. Soon he saw Sakayanagi Arisu waiting for him near the elevator door.

It must be said that, just as Matsushita Chiaki once remarked, Sakayanagi Arisu is a beautiful girl who is easy to dress up and style in all seasons except summer, and this late spring season is no exception.

Today she was wearing a light pink chiffon dress, the hem of which fell lightly to about her knees. The white lace on the outside was faintly visible, outlining her slender but not thin figure. The pink bow ribbon at her waist added a touch of girlish playfulness and vitality. She also wore a beige knitted cardigan on her upper body, the shiny buttons shimmering in the sunlight.

Her lower body was adorned with familiar round-toed leather shoes and pure white garter stockings. Sakayanagi Arisu was probably the girl in Kitagawa Ryo's circle who had the most fondness for white stockings, but it did indeed suit her personality quite well.

"It feels like it's been a long time since Liang and I went out alone together."

"Because we've all been busy with our own things."

"Liang, don't make excuses for me. The truth is, I've been avoiding you the whole time."

Sakayanagi Arisu frankly admitted that, just like her bright spring outfit today, her expression was also quite radiant, a sight Kitagawa Ryo had never seen before.

If Kitagawa Ryo were to go through his past memories, the closest one would be the last simulation, when his opponent had just defeated Amasawa Ichika in the white room and successfully led him out.

To be honest, that was probably the period when Kitagawa Ryo had the best impression of Sakayanagi Arisu. Whether it was the little moments of living under the same roof together, or visiting the Tokyo University cultural festival together, or even recording variety shows later, it was all like that. However, this carefree time that seemed to belong only to children officially ended with the destruction of the White Room. From then on, there was an endless emotional tug-of-war between the three of them.

What he liked was never Alice, who seemed to come from an incredible land and was shrouded in a mysterious aura of illusion and fragility, but rather Alice who, with a childlike heart and curiosity, chased the rabbit into the incredible land.

No one in this world is born with knowledge; therefore, all geniuses are the result of learning.

That is precisely why they became so-called geniuses. Their initial reason for becoming geniuses was not due to any excellent genes from their parents, but rather their own strong curiosity and desire to explore the world. Sakayanagi Arisu was no exception. The competitive spirit and self-esteem that she once regarded as more important as geniuses were merely products that arose from these traits later in life.

Winning makes me happy but not particularly proud; losing makes me sad but not particularly discouraged. I am happy to learn new knowledge and meet new and interesting people. I am also willing to show my small kindness and moderate curiosity to everything I encounter. At the same time, I have a healthy body to actively explore this unknown world.

This is the image of Sakayanagi Arisu that Kitagawa Ryo glimpsed in his final simulation, and that he still hopes to see now.

"Aren't you going to hide now?"

"Because enough time has passed, and Xue has already enrolled in school."

Sakayanagi Arisu generously extended her hand to Kitagawa Ryo and naturally grasped his hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Losing something you once had doesn't mean you'll instantly go back to the time before you had it, right?"

Chapter Thirty-Two: Escaping is Shameful, But Useful

Among the four simulated heroines, Sakayanagi Arisu is perhaps the one with the most rich experiences, because whether it is Ichinose Honami or Karuizawa Megumi, their simulations do not have any major changes in general. The former revolves around family and theft incidents, while the latter is closely related to the issue of school bullying. Not to mention Horikita Suzune's one-life clear.

But Sakayanagi Arisu is different. Including the past ten years or so of her life, each of her three life experiences can be described as completely different, not only in terms of life trajectory and psychological level, but also in terms of physiological level.

In the first simulation, Arisu Sakayanagi spent most of her childhood in the hospital, initially because of her own health condition, and later accompanying Ryo Kitagawa who was suffering from ALS. Her chosen major was also related to medicine, and she didn't have much interaction with the White Room. Her congenital heart disease was only cured after she became an adult.

In the second simulation, Arisu Sakayanagi had already completely cured her congenital heart disease before meeting Ryo Kitagawa. Moreover, her fate for the first twenty years was almost inextricably linked with Ryo Kitagawa, who came from the White Room. From filming variety shows to completely destroying the White Room, her legendary experience was no less than that of the first simulation.

Unlike Honami Ichinose and Megumi Karuizawa, whose lives were restarted with Ryo Kitagawa and whose timelines were pulled back to their childhood, Arisu Sakayanagi suddenly received these two simulated memories after living sixteen years in reality with a congenital heart disease. At the same time, her physical condition was cured and the world changed.

This resulted in a situation where, for a long time, Sakayanagi Arisu's psychological and physiological conditions were not perfectly aligned. Her three completely different attitudes toward life and ways of doing things were like a battle in her mind, which shaped her extremely complex personality over the nearly one year since last summer.

The first thing organically integrated is the shared emotion, and the underlying personality that Sakayanagi Arisu never lost in her three lives is her intense competitive spirit beyond imagination and her extreme mixed feelings for Kitagawa Ryo.

These are all thoughts that Kitagawa Ryo held for a long time. However, the complexity of each person cannot be fully explained by simply constructing a model or building a theory. Kitagawa Ryo even felt at times that Sakayanagi Arisu herself was confused, but she just didn't show it.

For example, Sakayanagi Arisu's attitude towards Amazusa Ichika and Yuki is actually different from her own in the final simulation, after all, there is a considerable information gap between the three of them.

Rather, it's more accurate to say that Amazusa Ichika's ability to pinpoint Sakayanagi Arisu's sore spot during the special end-of-year exam was a stroke of genius, a combination of exceptional observation skills and a bit of lucky accident.

This is one of the reasons why Kitagawa Ryo was so determined to have Hotaru try to recreate the past simulations, because the situation of the three of them was no longer limited to a two-person problem between him and any one of them, but a genuine entanglement involving multiple people.

However, turning his attention back to the present, Kitagawa Ryo was pleasantly surprised or even happy to see Sakayanagi Arisu's change in attitude and the words she uttered. After all, change is something that cannot be forced by others; all he could do was hint at it indirectly and at most play a guiding role.

If possible, it would be best if everyone could be as worry-free for him as Karuizawa Kei, handling his emotions, career, and interpersonal relationships perfectly without making a fuss.

"That's what they say."

"But if it were possible, would Arisu want to go back to a certain point in the past?"

When faced with Sakayanagi Arisu's statement, "Losing something you once had doesn't mean you'll instantly return to the time before you had it," Kitagawa Ryo answered her question with a question of his own.

Then, he noticed the other person's hesitation.

It's quite strange, really. The feeling of wanting to go back to a certain time in the past simulation was almost never seen in Ichinose Honami, Karuizawa Megumi, and Horikita Suzune before, but it was rare for it to come to the trio in the last simulation at the same time. It was Amasawa Ichika herself who felt that whatever she wanted after getting her wish. The other two probably had to set aside time every day to weave and organize their memories, and immerse themselves in them to draw nourishment for life.

"Even if I did answer yes, there's no possibility in reality, so thinking about it is pointless. I finally decided to forget about it, so Ryo, please don't bring up such cunning topics that are impossible to answer."

"Then Arisu is merely escaping, not solving the problem."

Kitagawa Ryo simply shook his head. In fact, he had vaguely sensed this from the time when Sakayanagi Arisu took the initiative to ask him for help. This was not the first step in the other party's attempt to change, but merely a reaction triggered by an escape mechanism.

But he had to admit that this was the first time he had ever seen Arisu show such a reaction; it was really quite sweet and endearing.

"Running away...that's true, but although running away is shameful, it's useful."

Somewhat to Kitagawa Ryo's surprise, Sakayanagi Arisu readily admitted it:

"After all, Liang is probably the person who knows me best in this world, even better than my father, who knows everything about me from childhood to adulthood, right?"

"So there's no need to be surprised. I've always been this kind of person. Whether I'm a real genius or a fake one, it's probably just an excuse I come up with to escape from many things."

As she spoke, Sakayanagi Arisu pointed to her temple: