I have a life simulator.

Watching the old man's figure disappear into the distance, Liang took a deep breath and calmed himself down.

"Go to the hospital."

he said to himself.

Chapter Four: Everyone Has Their Own Path

"Liang is a child without talent."

"Compared to Qiu, it's almost as if she's not my biological daughter."

Although I've forgotten almost everything from my childhood, this particular sentence still keeps recurring in my dreams.

The father, standing in the blurry and distant distance, looked down at him from above.

Liang's biological father was once a star actor in a local theater troupe. Although Liang and Qiu had never seen him perform in person, the stories on stage and under the spotlight were told to them by this man as if they were bedtime stories.

"I hope that you can also become theater actors, preferably as good as me."

At the end of the story, the man always ends with this sentence.

At their father's request, the two older boys began practicing drama.

"Then, let's become the best actors together, Ryo."

In the rigorous training day after day, the two of them actually needed the presence of a partner who could understand them, so their relationship with their sibling quickly became close.

Which of Shakespeare's four great tragedies is Liang's favorite?

Liang began reading the scripts, which were old drafts that her father had read before, always covered with dense notes.

After Ryo finished reading some of the scripts, Aki began to discuss issues related to drama with him.

"My favorite is still Hamlet. Why does Liang like Macbeth? The character of Lady Macbeth is obviously not as good as Ophelia."

"Although both are love, the love of a young girl as beautiful as a flower is the most desirable."

Even in elementary school, Qiu displayed an outgoing personality that matched her appearance.

She displayed her charm without any hesitation in front of Liang. She lifted her long white dress, held the flowers in her hands, and gave Liang a pure smile:

"Liang should like Hamlet with me."

"Because only when they are exactly alike can they feel like real family."

"I hope that when people see us, they will know that we are siblings."

So Qiu and Liang wore the same color pajamas and the same style of slippers. They ate the same breakfast, carried the same schoolbags, and held hands to go to school.

Because of her health condition, Hotaru often missed long periods of school, so at that time she could only lean against the window and wave to her older brother and sister.

"Liang, recite Act Three ten more times with feeling. I'll check back in an hour to see if you've improved! No slacking off!"

But as soon as she returned home, in the huge, soundproof room where there was nowhere to escape, Ryo would receive "guidance" from her father.

Undeniably, my father is very good-looking. Even though he is nearly forty, he still looks handsome and dashing, with a great demeanor. He really has the feel of an actor.

But his terrible personality makes him seem more like an apple that looks good on the outside but is completely rotten inside.

When he begins to use violence, his face becomes even more distorted, like a demon.

Ryo failed to demonstrate his talent in drama; he would unconsciously drift off into a daze and lose focus, and if his father discovered this, Ryo would face severe physical punishment.

If I perform well enough, this situation will definitely change.

Comforting herself with these thoughts, Liang, who was practicing desperately, was still making no progress day by day.

In stark contrast to the coolness, autumn is an extremely gifted child.

"Qiu is really like me. Her acting skills have improved so much that it's remarkable. If she continues to improve like this, she won't be far from the level of a professional actor."

My father often made such praises.

"Ryo really doesn't seem like my own child. If she wants to keep up with Aki, she'll have to spend more time practicing."

Liang and Qiu are compared by their father every day, and the father punishes the other party according to their superiority or inferiority.

"Qiu will definitely become a famous actress. Ah, one day my child will be seen by everyone. People will know that this is my child, this child is my daughter, and she will be the most dazzling jewel in this city!"

"Liang! Why are you daydreaming again today? You've practiced the lines for Act Two so many times, why can't you memorize them in one go? Feet! Movements, pay attention to your movements, don't just stand there like a wooden stake! Eyes! Where are you looking?"

As if he had two faces, the father reveled in this "survival of the fittest" game, encouraging Liang and Qiu to engage in a zero-sum game of struggle, and bestowing rewards and punishments from the highest position.

The mother could not go against the father's wishes; she simply watched how things unfolded.

"Father...Father, dear..."

"Your sister has passed the audition and she will be debuting as a theatrical actress tomorrow."

With a look of ecstasy on his face, the father brandished a ruler at Liang.

The hard ruler collided with Liang's right calf, and the pain that exceeded the limit even made Liang have the illusion that sparks were flying in front of her.

"Tsk."

"A father won't always be lenient with his child."

The man put away his baseball bat, stepped on Liang's waist with his right foot, and pressed him to the ground.

"It'll be alright, don't worry, I won't hurt my face."

"But education is always accompanied by pain."

"boom!"

Liang felt a sharp impact on his back.

My mind went blank, I started hallucinating, it felt like blood was flowing out, and I felt a rapid pain and burning sensation.

"Please remember this pain, and then work hard from now on."

In the snow-white world, Ryo only heard this one sentence and a scream from who-knows-who.

A foot kicked him in the stomach, but the child rolled several meters along the ground until he hit the wall and stopped.

I couldn't breathe properly, a dull pain spread throughout my body, my internal organs seemed to be groaning, and I couldn't see what was happening in front of me.

How long did this violence last?

After the violence that made Liang doubt whether he could survive, his father brought medical supplies from outside and carefully treated his wounds.

"Liang is a good child."

"She worked very hard and did an excellent job."

The father spoke in a very gentle tone, as if praising his children for getting good grades.

"cold……?"

"What, Father...why?"

The person who came in from outside the room was Qiu, who hadn't yet taken off her stage costume.

"This is a lesson for losers."

“If you can’t join the theater troupe to earn money for the family, what use is it for me to support you?”

The father asked Qiu Fa, who seemed confused:

"Does it hurt to see your brother like this?"

"Ah... um."

Qiu answered in a daze, as if it were too difficult for her, still a child, to understand the situation at hand.

"Then remember this feeling! When you rehearse Hamlet in the future, when you, as Ophelia, see the scene where Hamlet goes mad, remember this feeling!"

The father roared as if he had gone mad, then ignored Qiu and pulled Liang, who was already in a daze, to her feet:

"Your opponent has never lost a match against Qiu, so why hasn't Liang improved at all?"

"Shouldn't you all have the same blood flowing in your veins?"

"Your surnames are all [Beichuan]!"

For the next six months, Qiu, who debuted as a child star, enjoyed her peak and even starred in a performance at the Central Theater.

Each rise of autumn signifies the sinking of coolness.

The talented older sister steps onto the stage of the theater troupe, entering a paradise surrounded by flowers and applause, while Liang, who lacks talent and can never catch up with her, falls step by step into the abyss.

After several failed auditions, his father gave up on him completely.

As autumn became more popular, the Kitagawa family's income also increased day by day. They moved into a larger and more spacious house, the father bought a luxury car, and the mother wore expensive jewelry.

People frequently come to visit their home, and Ryo, who has already been abandoned, and Hotaru, whose physical condition cannot support her to pursue a career in drama, become like doormen who receive visitors.

"Thank you! We are very grateful for your attention to the Kitagawa family. If you would like to cooperate, please call the number on the business card."

Guests would also ask about Liang's situation, since they had heard that the siblings had studied drama together.

Given how outstanding her older sister is, her younger brother shouldn't be too far behind in his endeavors.

Liang himself would try his best to participate in some dramas, but because of his status, the directors of those troupes would often have higher expectations of him.

The results achieved through hard work are taken for granted, and in the end, they are only evaluated as somewhat mediocre and unusable.

Perhaps it would take him another ten years of hard work to catch up with his sister's current pace, but by then she would have already gone far ahead.

The same performance can be drastically different when done by a ten-year-old and a twenty-year-old adult.

In fact, from this moment on, Ryo was already shrouded in the shadow of the so-called "genius," and when he looked up, he could only see the corner of the other person's clothes and the footprints left behind.

They naturally regard their loved ones ahead as role models, and futilely pursue them.

Young children are forced to move forward by the simple idea of ​​surpassing others. Perhaps at first they just want to gain the approval of others, but as they go along, they forget their original purpose.

I want to surpass her and catch up with her.

Then what……

do not know.

So why set such a goal in the first place?

Because maybe at this point, I already knew that I would never surpass the other person.

Those who follow in the footsteps of others, even if they catch up with them one day, can never truly surpass them.

Because if the other party stops, he himself will also be at a loss and stand still.

Walking on the path the other person has walked is also staying in a distorted comfort zone.

If you get used to walking, you won't be able to move forward on your own.

It wasn't until Qiu committed suicide on stage that Liang understood these things.

-------------------------------------

As the most famous child star in the city, Qiu's most iconic role is Ophelia, the heroine in "Hamlet". Every audience member who has seen her performance is amazed by her portrayal of death. The image of her drowning in the Flower River always leaves a deep impression.

So when the other person actually swallowed the poison and lay there quietly for a long time without getting up, most of the audience just thought it was a performance.

"Hey, Liang, where did my autumn go?"

Since Qiu's death, her father's condition has become very strange. He drinks heavily at home day and night, or gambles away fortunes at the casino.

Where did that child go? Where did my pride, my hard work, my masterpiece go?

He drank the wine in large gulps, the wine dripping from his lips and spilling everywhere. He seemed to have aged suddenly, his face was covered with wrinkles, and he no longer had the dashing air he once had. He was clearly just a strong man in his forties, but now he looked like an old man in his twilight years, waiting for death.

"Father……"

Liang cleaned up the vomit and trash on the ground and spoke softly.

The mother and Ying hid in the room, too afraid to come out.

Hearing the cold sound, the father irritably threw an empty bottle on the floor. Because of the carpet, the bottle only rolled twice before rolling under the sofa.

"Ah, why can't you switch places with Qiu? Why can't you die in her place?"

"Hey Liang, do you know that compared to your sister, your acting is so bad that I can't even watch it?"

“I knew that from the beginning, so when you were training as kids, you were only fit to play supporting roles to her, ha, supporting roles.”

While cursing Ryo, the father would also start to fantasize about the days when Ryo was still alive, which was the most prosperous time for the Kitagawa family and the peak of his father's reputation.