Nobody knows how to be a villain better than me.

At one table were Gu She, Alice, Black Saber, and the two sisters, Rin and Sakura Tohsaka.

At the other table were Ereshkigal, Scáthach, and Bazett, who had come specifically to freeload after receiving a phone call about a buffet.

However, before Samael could even settle into his seat and enjoy the all-you-can-eat barbecue after completing the process at the counter, he heard an indignant shout.

"Pretender!"

Upon hearing this, the ancient snake glanced reluctantly at the golden, juicy mutton rolls, then reluctantly put down its bowl and chopsticks, got up, and went to the next table.

"Aileen, what's wrong?"

"Make me some sauce!"

Seeing Samael approach her, the goddess of the underworld's expression changed from gloomy to sunny. She raised a bowl and plate from the table high and spoke with an air of self-righteousness.

"Okay, what flavor do you like?"

"Something sweet and sour, something appetizing."

"Okay, wait..."

After many years apart, the ancient snake was naturally very tolerant of this little bit of capriciousness. It carefully noted down its owner's request, picked up the bowl and plate, and while recalling Ellie's previous taste preferences, it prepared the sauce with professional skill.

"good to eat!"

As Ai Lei picked up a few slices of grilled meat, dipped them in the sauce, and put them in her mouth to taste, the wonderful flavor made the client exclaim with happiness.

"So, I can leave now?"

Having successfully dealt with his owner, Samael was about to slip away to enjoy his lunch when a wine glass was unexpectedly thrust into his hand.

"I'd like a Bloody Mary."

The Queen of the Shadow Kingdom, dressed in an office lady outfit, crossed her legs and spoke casually.

"Isn't there a bartender at the bar?"

Samael glanced at the sizzling meat on the hot plate behind him, then at the cup in his hand, and offered a weak reminder.

Scáthach raised an eyebrow, her gaze deep and unfathomable.

"You're not happy?"

"How could this be! I did it..."

Samael forced a smile that looked more like a grimace. Under the Queen's imposing presence, he could only reluctantly take his glass and ask for drinks and various condiments to mix the cocktail ordered by his other old flame on the spot.

Soon, a cup of the finished product, with a spicy aroma and a bright red color like fresh blood, was swiftly delivered to Scáthach.

The Queen of the Shadow Kingdom took a sip of her drink, and her slightly furrowed brows relaxed.

It must be said that although Samael is not a genius in the strict sense, he is a generalist, the type who knows a little bit about everything.

With the blessing of divine body and long time, he became proficient in various skills, and many of them reached the level of master.

Having temporarily appeased the two clients, Samael stepped back slightly and spoke cautiously.

"Now, I can always..."

"Mmm, this looks delicious! I'll have one too, please!"

But before the ancient snake could finish speaking, the third time a flower bloomed on the spot.

Like a refugee entering a village, Bazette, who was busy showing off the grilled meat and seafood on the plate, handed over the cup in front of him without saying a word, his face full of interest.

Sister Ba, first of all, I didn't do anything to you, did I?

Samael twitched his lips, but under Bazett's eager gaze, he had no choice but to use the available ingredients to make a freshly made Bloody Mary for the designated seal executor.

This time, before the ancient serpent could even speak, a new demand was made.

"We've heard that medium-rare steak is very juicy and tender. We'd like to try it, but we don't know how to cook it properly. Luckily, we have a seat here. Why don't you come?"

As Ai Lei spoke, she pulled out a chair, a hint of anticipation flickering in her red eyes.

"Why don't you sit here with me? It's safer there..."

Scáthach pointed to the chairs sandwiched between herself and Bazett, and made a serious suggestion.

whispering sound!

Tsk!

At this moment, the goddess and the god-slayer, who had just exchanged glances with a hint of tacit understanding, reunited and simultaneously let out a disdainful snort, their gazes colliding in mid-air and creating invisible sparks.

Alright! I knew you guys had ulterior motives! You were actually trying to poach my talent! How malicious!

In the moment of their standoff, Rin Tohsaka, who had noticed something was wrong at another table, suddenly stood up angrily and then, in a childish voice, began to whine and pout.

"Sigh...cough cough...Uncle Arthur, how do I peel a crab shell? Can you help me?"

Damn it! You've been using it for too long, it's time to return it to us!

Dream on! We ate first!

The two Sumerian twin deities met, their former sisterly bond vanished, and they resembled two cocks with their necks raised, feathers bristling, ready for battle.

"Help me devein the shrimp!"

"Time to brush the sauce on the pork jerky!"

"Another salad platter, please!"

"I want to drink mead, please recreate the taste I used to have!"

Two groups of women, neither willing to back down, escalated their rivalry, secretly vying for dominance.

"Is there any more rice? Another bucket, please!"

Meanwhile, once inside the buffet restaurant, Hei Dai, who was like a fish in water and whose mouth never stopped eating, couldn't help but raise his head with great interest and make his own request.

Sensing the strong smell of gunpowder in the air, Samael couldn't help but regret his initial surrender.

"Um, before I fulfill your requests, could you let me have a meal first?"

"no!"

At that moment, the women, who were facing each other, turned their heads in unison upon hearing the question from the culprit, united against the source of evil, and glared at it with hatred, answering in unison.

"Alright then, that's all. Adding anything more would be going too far."

Samael, whose appeal was rejected, grumbled and walked listlessly toward the selection table, drawing a line between himself and the women, to meet their various demands.

However, to the women's surprise, one of them turned out to be a traitor.

Just as Samael was holding a plate in front of the salad basket, preparing to stock up on salads for his demanding old lovers at their seats, a beautiful figure with silver hair and red eyes quietly approached. In a secluded corner, she pulled the passing Samael into a small booth and showed the ancient snake a bowl overflowing with food.

"I have a small appetite and can't eat this much. This was specially saved for you. Why don't you eat some first?"

"But……"

"I've almost finished eating anyway. If it's just about making a salad, let me do it."

Irisviel put down her chopsticks and smiled gently. Then she picked up her plate and patiently went to the food section to choose the salads that everyone liked.

Samael was stunned. He subconsciously took the bowl and chopsticks and casually peeled back the carefully laid-out layer of roasted meat. He couldn't help but notice that the middle layer was vegetables with meat, and the bottom layer was a few clumps of perfectly cooked spaghetti. When he picked them up with his chopsticks, the snow-white shrimp meat rolled inside was also revealed.

After working hard for most of the day, the ancient snake finally tasted its first bite of food and was so excited that it almost burst into tears.

Finally, I saw her! A qualified married woman! Alive!

If it weren't for the worry that these women, in their anger and embarrassment, would gang up on him and split him up, Samael would have loved to drag Irisviel along and show those women, who were always bickering with each other but only knew how to exploit him, what a true virtuous wife and loving mother really looked like.

Meanwhile, the women at the table, who were still staring at each other, trying to intimidate one another, noticed that Irisviel, who had been using the excuse of mixing sauce, was actually seriously selecting salads. They suddenly realized her true intentions.

"How cunning! They actually tried to curry favor with that scoundrel when we weren't looking!"

Rin Tohsaka, her temper flaring, angrily denounced this unethical act of raiding someone's base.

"No, I should handle this kind of thing!"

"..."

"..."

Ereshkigal and Scáthach were speechless as they watched the indignant twin-tailed little girl jump onto the chair.

"Uh, were we too harsh on Pretender just now?"

Just as everyone was hesitating, Bazette, who was engrossed in his meal, wiped the sauce from the corner of his mouth, coughed lightly, and asked.

It seems... a little bit?

But probably not many, right?

Ereshkigal and Scáthach, who were initially locked in a fierce competition, exchanged glances, then quickly shifted their gazes, both landing on the sizzling oven as if they had realized something.

"The food is here."

A few minutes later, when Samael brought several plates of the selected salads to the table, several pairs of eyes immediately focused on him.

Why are you all looking at me like that?

Under the gaze of these eerie eyes, the ancient snake felt a chill run down its spine. Even its questioning voice became somewhat off-key, and it began to subtly turn its feet, preparing to flee.

Ai Lei, who was the first to come to her senses, tried to move her facial muscles and show a bright smile. Even her questioning voice became soft and gentle.

"Hmm, it's nothing, Sa...Pretender, you've been busy for so long, aren't you tired?"

"Not tired!"

Samael looked wary and instinctively shook his head.

Seeing that the guy opposite her didn't respond, Ai Lei, who had very little experience in flirting, froze for a moment, but quickly forced a smile and made a dry suggestion.

Are you thirsty? Shall I pour you a glass of water?

"Why drink water! I have plum juice here! I guarantee it will be sweet and sour! Here, Uncle Arthur."

However, before Ereshkigal could make a move, the more skilled Rin Tohsaka suddenly appeared, picked up a glass of chilled plum juice, and presented it like a treasure, while glancing triumphantly at Ereshkigal, who was standing there dumbfounded and at a loss.

What an outdated opening line! It hasn't improved at all in thousands of years; it's a disgrace to us all.

Let this goddess teach you what "striking first" really means!

Shameless!

Ereshkigal, betrayed by her own sister, tried to pour herself some water, but it was too late; she could only grit her teeth in resentment.

"Men should drink! Drinking heartily is the only way to have fun! Why drink juice?"

But joy turns to sorrow. Just as Rin Tohsaka, who thought she had seized the initiative, was proudly showing off to Ereshkigal, the Queen of the Land of Shadows at the next table decisively stood up and pressed Samael down to sit.

"Bazette!"

Immediately afterwards, at the teacher's call, the designated seal executor, who had somehow appeared at the front desk, brought two large mugs of draft beer, glistening with golden foam, and presented them to the two of them.

"Pretender, to thank you for twice coming to my disciple's rescue, let's have a drink. I'll toast you!"

Without waiting for a reply, Scáthach pulled the confused Samael to clink glasses, then gulped down most of it and raised her hand in acknowledgment.

Although Gu She was still completely bewildered and didn't understand the situation, he couldn't help but raise his beer and obediently clink glasses with his former drinking buddy.

There's no way around it; this reason is perfectly legitimate and unassailable.

As Samael downed his draft beer with gusto, the Queen of the Shadow Kingdom's taut, beautiful face relaxed, revealing a slight smile.

Ten minutes later, as the two chatted and drank, the large draft beer was finally finished.

Rin Tohsaka, who had been waiting for her chance, stood up abruptly, a bright smile on her face, carrying a plate.

"Uncle Arthur, come back and sit down when you've finished your drink. The food is getting cold. Here, this plate of crab meat is specially prepared for you. It's absolutely delicious. Eat it while it's hot."

"Don't worry, there is more."

Unexpectedly, Scáthach ruthlessly slapped away Rin Tohsaka's outstretched claws, then her fingers and palms pressed down on Samael's arm, and she smiled slightly.

"You've helped Bazett twice, shouldn't we at least have a couple of drinks?"

Meanwhile, at the teacher's instruction, the straightforward Bazett brought out two more large glasses of fresh draft beer and refilled them for the two people at the table.

Those damned barbarians have actually learned to be cunning!

Rin Tohsaka, who kept running into obstacles, looked at Scáthach, who was sitting calmly by, and cursed inwardly.

Just as the goddess was in a fit of impotent rage, her hand suddenly went empty. A finger extended from the side, picked up the plate full of crab meat, and smiled brightly.

"You looked tired from holding that up for so long. I appreciate your kind gesture, but leave this to me, little sister..."