The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

He realized he would never forget this night. Immortal heroes slay giant serpents, ancient legends resound with wine and song.

Chapter 89 Those who are KPs are blessed.

Lu Wenjun was very suspicious that someone in the hero had used some kind of time manipulation skill, because he felt that the banquet last night had lasted for at least ten hours (Faris swore that it was definitely 20 hours), but when all the distinguished guests left and everyone was cleaning up the dishes, it was only a little past 3 o'clock.

By then they were exhausted and had drunk too much alcohol in the atmosphere. They were also so full of snake meat that they were incoherent, and when they saw the Pegasus and chariots flying into the sky, they could no longer cheer like children.

The serpent's flesh required Asclepius's special handling before cooking, as it contained too much harmful magic; any mortal who touched it would die instantly. The three of them could only eat dried meat, devoid of its magic—no benefit, but at least safe. Even so, the calorie content was as high as if they had been subjected to three bloating spells, leaving them bloated, dizzy, and disoriented.

By the time Lü Wenjun finally finished packing and returned to Shuijingting, it was already past 4 o'clock. Fortunately, he had no classes in the morning, so he was able to sleep until 11:30. When he woke up, he was mocked as a dead pig by Miss Jiuguang, who had woken up five minutes earlier.

"Hmph," he said.

Hisamitsu looked at him in shock: "I think you should skip class and go back to sleep for another afternoon."

"Hmph hmph hmph." Lü Wenjun mumbled a series of indistinct words.

He picked up the jade pendant and glanced at it, then realized there was a student council meeting at noon. He quickly made two slices of jam bread, put one in his mouth, and ran up to the third floor to put the second slice in Hisamit's mouth, who was sitting at his computer desk.

He shouldered his schoolbag and went out amidst the furious shouts and curses of a certain young lady. It took him almost 15 minutes of walking under the scorching sun to finally stir up a little bit of his brain, which was a complete mess.

“A sharp pain shot through my head…” he groaned.

"You used to be able to drink a ton without getting drunk, how come you're in such a sorry state after only having a little last night?" Old Fa asked with a laugh.

Old Fa sat at the counter of the burning building, the flaming skull looking exactly the same as before, as if everything from the previous night had been a dream. Lü Wenjun greeted him: "Descendant of the Sun God, rider of the burning chariot..."

"Stop, stop, stop the hell!" Old Fa warned. "Don't try this with me except on a few nostalgic occasions, and don't tell other kids either, or you'll lose business."

Lü Wenjun nodded: "I have taken your solemn announcement to heart."

“I think you’re a bit silly,” Old Fa commented. “By the way, the great hero later had a couple of drinks with the messenger god and helped you collect the money he forgot to pay for your meal.”

"what?"

Before Lü Wenjun could process what was happening, Old Fa pointed to his feet and said, "Try transforming."

He discovered that the little wings his senior had given him, which allowed him to walk on air, were gone, and when he transformed into spring legs, feather patterns appeared on the sides of his boots.

He attempted to jump, the afterimage of the feather flashed by, and then an unexpected thrust erupted from beneath his feet like two whirlwinds. Amidst Old Fa's loud laughter, he was instantly launched into the air, propelling himself from the edge of the road onto a large tree next to the teaching building.

Lu Wenjun hung foolishly from the treetop, looking down at the students coming and going below, wondering if he was a human rocket or non-combustible waste. At that moment, another gaze met his bewildered eyes. Miss Witch stood by the window, her expression as if she had just encountered a space mutant monkey that had escaped from the experimental facility.

“What stupid thing are you doing now?” Pershka said.

Lu Wenjun frantically used sign language to indicate that he urgently needed rescue, because his tongue was not very responsive at the moment, and if he jumped again, he might launch himself into the teaching building. Although Pershka did not understand the sign language, she roughly understood his predicament. She had the tall, thin bird-headed witch leap out of the window and pick Lu Wenjun up like a package.

Lü Wenjun said sincerely:

"Witch of the Frozen Lands, I thank you for your generous assistance."

"Sent out that clever and perceptive familiar, thus sparing me from the strange gazes."

The raven-headed witch's head turned ninety degrees clockwise like an owl.

Pershka slowly shook his head: "I don't know what original texts you read yesterday, but this is the 21st century."

They walked towards the student council building, one after the other—Lü Wenjun felt like he was walking on cotton after de-transforming—and bumped into Xiao Qing at the entrance. She impatiently tapped the scabbard on her shoulder: "Hurry up! You two are the only ones left!"

Lu Wenjun hurriedly said, "Descendants of the ghost clan from the deep mountains, brave and clever Qi people, extend our sincere greetings to you."

Xiao Qing stared at him, then jumped up and hit him on the head.

"Ouch, that hurts!"

"Wake up, you brat."

“Looks like he’s still sleepwalking, give it a little more pressure,” Pershka sneered.

"Alright, let's use this scabbard to blow his head off."

"I'm awake, completely awake, so please calm down, senior, don't use that thing! Ughhhhhhh!!"

Lu Wenjun dodged the scabbard with a perfect back hand bridge and hit a home run, then followed up with a series of backhand flips to hide in the student council room. Ye Jinfa glanced at him and said, "Lanting, a refreshing tea."

"Okay, just a moment~"

Today, Senior Lanting changed into a dignified maid's dress. She took out some herbal powder wrapped in a cloth bag from the cabinet and brewed a cup of emerald-colored tea. After thanking her, Lü Wenjun drank it and felt his fuzzy brain suddenly return to normal, and his tongue became nimble again.

"Ugh..." he groaned, covering his head. "What happened... Even if I was drunk or overworked, it shouldn't be this bad..."

"You've been interfered with by a high concentration of magic or divinity, causing temporary confusion in your speech and logical thinking, commonly known as 'magic poisoning,'" Ye Jinfa said casually. "Your original magic power is too low. This happens when you come into contact with a large number of beings at a level far higher than yourself in a short period of time. It's a common aftereffect of missions that involve infiltrating secret realms."

"I see... If we leave it alone..."

"It will take at least ten days for it to heal naturally. Learn from this experience." Ye Jinfa blinked. "What gift did God give you?"

Lu Wenjun looked down at his shoes: "I don't know how he did it, but it seems that my flying shoes magic tool is combined with my transformation spell."

Ye Jinfa had him transform, glanced at it a few times, and concluded: "A cleverly coupled spell, with a bonus divine power amplifier. The jumping ability is greatly enhanced after transformation, but the mana consumption increases proportionally. Give me a switch-like hint, otherwise you won't be able to adapt."

Lü Wenjun was amazed by the president's extensive knowledge and didn't dare to ask how to use the switch suggestion. Ye Jinfa continued, "The addition of suggestion method is on page 134 of the introduction, and the related techniques of coupling are on page 167 of the second volume of Alchemy Elementology."

He exclaimed "Wow!" in admiration. Pershka was quite surprised: "I thought the president was the type who wasn't academically inclined..."

Lu Wenjun nodded in agreement: "After all, I've heard that the president often skips classes..."

“You should respect the president more. How can there be a legendary mage in this world who is not good at theory?” Giltan walked in and said. “So far, I only know of one legendary mage who failed her final exam. Given how eccentric she is, I don’t think there will be another Mingxiao in the next few hundred years.”

Lu Wenjun was shocked: "The man who is most disrespectful to the president in the entire student council has spoken!"

Giltan solemnly declared: "From an academic point of view, I greatly admire the president. I simply despise her ability as a leader, disapprove of her behavior as a student, and dislike her personality as a person."

"Vice President, you are truly a person who clearly distinguishes between public and private matters..."

"Then why don't you join my faction?" Giltan immediately extended an olive branch. "If you join, we'll have two people in the core anti-chairman faction."

"Isn't it just you who's against it? I don't want that."

John pushed the whiteboard to the center of the room, its large owl head turning left and right, seemingly asking everyone with its eyes, "Can we begin?" However, the vice president and Lü Wenjun were happily chatting nonsense, while the president was playing with his magic dumbbells with an air of nonchalance; no one seemed to have any intention of getting down to business.

Finally, it looked helplessly at Pershka, who stepped forward without hesitation: "Let's begin today's topic, Senior John."

“Oh, coo coo!” John began to write. “Perhaps many of you don’t know yet, but the several consecutive days of moonless events were actually the result of an evil god’s machinations…”

“I think at least tens of millions of people saw the snake last night,” Pershka said.

John flapped his wings awkwardly: "Well, I think so too. Anyway, thanks to the help of the 'Heroes,' the evil god that caused the eternal night last night was also killed. During this time, the security within the academy was fully reviewed, so everyone doesn't have to worry about any more phantoms escaping or legendary monsters intruding into the secret realm for the time being."

"Senior, I have a question." Lü Wenjun raised his hand, "Why was that thing able to infiltrate for so long without anyone dealing with it?"

"This is because, from the perspective of a diviner, it is most appropriate for heroes to handle this. Most teachers are not as brave and skilled as that great hero, and if Professor Ji were to intervene... it might cause some interference." John's words were vague.

Lu Wenjun rubbed his forehead: "I still feel something's off... After all, even if the professors usually touch each other, they shouldn't condone such a big incident..."

“There is indeed a mastermind behind this,” Ye Jinfa acknowledged. “But at least for the time being, we don’t have to worry about her reappearing.”

"Why?" Pershka asked.

“Because she is a goddess, and yesterday the Greek god of omnipotence happened to be attending another gathering nearby.” Ye Jinfa smiled strangely. “The professors didn’t reveal any more information, but I think she retreated immediately after receiving the news.”

"Ah..." "Indeed..." "There's nothing we can do..."

Everyone expressed their agreement. After all, the personality of the ancient Greek god is well-known; this unrestrained deity, when passionate, doesn't care much about blood ties, race, gender, or species…

Well, it seems He never cared about this aspect, which is also a facet of the unrestrained nature of the ancient Greeks...

To be more serious, Zeus, as the chief god of a well-known pantheon, is undoubtedly one of the top mythological powers. For him to cause trouble during a family gathering would be like asking to die.

"That mastermind probably didn't anticipate this," Giltan commented. "I think her original plan was to use Bakunawa to distract the professors, and then, once the professors intervened or the serpents attacked, she would seize the opportunity to launch her operation in the Greater Rift. Objectively speaking, her plan executed quite well, it just so happened to coincide with the Champions' gathering, which was just..."

"Serves you right," the chairman said.

"She has the ability to send the giant serpent into the secret realm, yet she doesn't know about this?" Pershka found it very strange.

“She only recently woke up,” Giltan said gleefully. “I think the goddess is still trying to understand the world. The idea of ​​Greek heroes having a meal together next to the academy is probably too much for her to imagine.”

Lu Wenjun could perfectly understand the goddess's feelings. Last night, he had witnessed Achilles toasting Hector, and several Amazonian female warriors arguing with Heracles. The shock he felt made him want to exclaim in surprise...

But considering their grudges are from thousands of years ago, it's not too surprising that they can forgive and forget now. Time flows on and on, and people must always move forward.

Thinking of this, he raised his hand and asked again, "I have another question. Are the Greek heroes the so-called 'heroes'? I thought they had passed away a long time ago... but they are not only still alive, but they seem to be doing quite well."

“Let me answer that,” Lanting said. “First, let’s review the definition of Phantom Spirits. They are pseudo-lifeforms created by combining the story prototypes in the original texts with the magic of magicians—some scholars insist that they are ‘complete lifeforms’ or ‘not lifeforms,’ but we won’t go into that here. Then, what would happen if the original texts didn’t exist in the form of books?”

"If it doesn't exist in the form of a book, but still possesses the power of a story..." Lu Wenjun muttered, "...would it become an extremely powerful magical artifact or divine device?"

“That’s a rare artifact known as the Prototype Armament, something mages wouldn’t normally waste.” Lanting held up a finger. “So, what if the protagonist of the story is that unique original text itself?”

Imagine this scenario.

The person hailed as a hero accomplished a feat that is difficult for ordinary people to achieve.

However, such a great undertaking required an extremely long time, during which the hardships and setbacks were beyond the comprehension of outsiders. No poet dared to claim he knew the whole story, and even his companions dared not say they fully understood these achievements. Although the story quickly spread to people's ears, giving rise to various different versions and details, the original story—the most original and authentic information—was known only to the protagonist himself.

At that time, no magician could be the chronicler of this story. The sole and absolute chronicler was the hero himself, who happened to possess power—whether it was divinity inherited from his bloodline, magic gained from slaying monsters, or faith or fear garnered by the collective will of the people. This power, combined with his identity as both "protagonist" and "chronicler," made this hero the original source of his own story.

At this point, the hero transcends into an immortal "hero." Just as a monster who has mastered the ultimate magic is no longer bound by fear, the spread of his story will no longer interfere with the hero's power, for his existence has been etched into the world. He may continue to train or live a carefree life; his past story has ended, but his present story will continue.

"...These are the rare individuals known as heroes." Lan Ting adjusted his glasses. "Their strength is almost all around legendary! Some even reach mythical level! If their strength is not legendary, it means their combat power is relatively biased towards the human side, but their stories are widely circulated and they are extremely admired! They are practically living history of the magical world. If you ever meet one, be sure to get his autograph!"

Lu Wenjun suddenly let out a huge scream: "I forgot to ask Hercules for his autograph!!"

Pershka was shocked: "You saw Hercules?!"

"What! The one who shot the giant serpent was such a famous hero?!" Giltan exclaimed excitedly. "Did you display the noble demeanor expected of a student of our school in his presence—"

"Oh, I was chopping pork in front of him."

"What did you do in front of a mythical powerhouse?!"

Xiao Qing and Lan Ting whispered to each other, "That great hero must be beyond the legendary level, right?" "Absolutely. He's an extraordinary figure even within the mythological realm, because most gods can't defeat him."

Ye Jinfa ignored the vice president's pale face and waved his hand: "There's no need to be so regretful. After carrying out a few more missions, you will eventually meet some heroes. They all love to meddle in other people's business. If you sincerely face them and make a request, they will usually lend you a hand."

"President, your tone always makes me worry that our off-campus missions are some kind of terrible things."

“If you’re interested, I can arrange one for you during winter break. It’s really fun.” Ye Jinfa gave a terrifying smile. “John, continue.”

John was so bored that he started pecking at the rice box on the whiteboard (labeled as "for John"). He smacked his lips and said, "Where were we? For now, we don't have to worry about security, but in two weeks we'll face the biggest challenge of the second half of the year: the harvest festival is just around the corner."

Not only Giltan, but even Haru sighed. Pershika immediately became alert: "Asami-senpai?"

“There will be so many people,” Xiao Qing said listlessly. “Parents of students, tourists, unlucky people who got lost on their way, and rascals who sneak out from underground to cause trouble. So many people bring so much trouble. Last year, a cursed magical artifact exploded, and I spent a whole day and night hacking at poisonous zombies.”

Giltan proved the difficulty of the matter from another angle: "Even Kano doesn't cause trouble during the autumn harvest festival."

"Oh my God."

"Given the presence of the mastermind behind the Outer God incident this year, we have to suspect the possibility of others using the holidays to cause trouble again," John said seriously. "Therefore, everyone needs to get busy starting next week. We need to conduct some deterrent patrols, organize support and welcoming teams in advance, and take some necessary precautions. The first one to be dealt with is 'Curse Curse Curse'."

"What?" Lü Wenjun said.

“Curse, curse.” John repeated, uttering the three words of curse very quickly.

“I’ve already thought it through,” Ye Jinfa said. “Lü Wenjun, you will be this year’s ‘Guardian of the Secret’.”

Chapter 90 There's always an unlucky one.

"I didn't understand for a moment what the connection was between board games and curses," said Lü Wenjun.

The Keeper, commonly known as the KP, usually refers to the game master in the board game *Call of Cthulhu*, similar to the GM role in the Monopoly game. However, judging from the tone of the president and the others, the student council's Keeper doesn't seem to be a desirable position, but rather closely related to that strange curse.

The student council members all put on extremely friendly expressions, much like Cabone when he announced he would be paying triple wages.

“Junior, it’s like this,” John said kindly. “If you anticipate that a major disturbance is about to occur, and you have no idea when, where, or how far it will happen, what should you do?”

“A defensive fulfillment of the prophecy,” Pershka interjected, “actively inducing chaos and keeping it to a minimum.”

"This isn't a classroom, so put your competitive spirit aside, okay?" Lü Wenjun said. "So, this is what a curse is? A curse that deliberately causes trouble?"

Ye Jinfa explained, "Its scientific name is actually the 'curse' curse, a curse that attracts curses. Two years ago, Mingxiao developed this technique during our mutual curse competition, attempting to curse me to death once and for all, but my counter-curse bounced back onto the vice president..."

"I suddenly understand perfectly why the vice president wants to rebel."

“That year, it happened to be the Autumn Harvest Festival, and we were surprised to find that the festival was much easier to handle,” Ye Jinfa continued. “Almost all the unexpected events and unstable factors were concentrated around the vice president. As long as we kept an eye on the vice president, we could ensure that everyone else could enjoy the festival in peace. In other words, if one person was unlucky, the whole school would be fine.”

Vice President Giltan was silently sharpening his sword in a corner of the student council room, making the sound of a kitchen knife as he sharpened his knight's longsword.

Lü Wenjun nodded knowingly: "So the keeper of secrets is the unlucky guy who got cursed, right?"

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"This is bad, President! I suddenly feel like I'm suffering from magic poisoning, and I urgently need to go to the school clinic for a checkup. I'll be leaving early today!"