The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

"Don't you have even a little bit of compassion to help those poor seniors join the club out of friendship?"

"No, I'm not a member of any club." Ling Gong smiled. "Then I'll go to the campus to see what's going on... and wait for good news. Good luck, brave warriors."

Linggong slung her backpack over her shoulder and hopped away in a few quick leaps. Her timing was impeccable, because just a second after she left, the pink-haired girl with pigtails made her move. She swung her katana like a starting pistol and shouted, "Alright, let's go!"

"—Welcome to the club, you little brats!!!"

The drunken demons took off running wildly, a scene as unrestrained as a stampede of horses! A few courageous freshmen charged straight into the crowd, while the majority of the cowards turned and ran. Leading the fleeing ranks was none other than Lü Wenjun, the top student of this year!

"Don't you feel ashamed that you, the top student in your grade, ran away from the club party?!" Faris shouted.

Lu Wenjun didn't even turn his head: "You fucking better slow down! Didn't you see their expressions?!"

“I’ve seen that expression before…” Vilsa’s forehead was beaded with sweat. “That face, the kind that’s like someone who’d drink you until you’re unconscious! That kind of person would strip you naked and throw you up to the tallest old pine tree!”

"Just how terrifying are the parties in your hometown?!"

"Oh no, an ambush!" Faris warned.

Suddenly, two groups of ambushers sprang out from the flank of the fleeing group—these were the unscrupulous assassins who had been lying in wait using earth-遁 (earth-遁 is a type of magic that allows one to dig tunnels) and other such techniques! Like goblins who had successfully set a trap, they roared savagely and used powerful magic to lift up many of the new students. And, unsurprisingly, Ariel was the first to fall victim!

“I…I’m an enthusiast of ancient Greek history…” Eriel trembled as she was surrounded by her three senior classmates.

"What a coincidence, you also like tunnels and subways!" Senior A grinned maliciously.

"Huh?! No—"

Senior student B handed over a bottle: "It's fate that we met, let's drink to this! Come on!"

"Ah-gu—"

Ariel fell to the ground after being assassinated by the ladies' special small bottle. Lu Wenjun wiped his eyes and said, "Ariel has fallen again. This is inhuman."

"Let's focus on ourselves instead of our poor classmates," Faris clicked his tongue. "We're being watched!"

The underground goblin task force had planned ahead, using a staggered, raiding tactic to break the deserter brigade into a dozen smaller groups. Lu Wenjun's trio was currently being cornered by several exceptionally imposing, physically strong, and menacing senior students. The muscular men were laughing just as heartily.

The bald senior student spoke first: "Welcome, freshmen! I'm Scar from the Soft and Fluffy Fan Club."

"Where's the soft, fluffy stuff?!"

"I'm Glava from the Little Cutie Starry Night Party," the senior with a yellow buzz cut said in a booming voice.

"You've joined the wrong group, senior!"

The senior with long black hair grinned maliciously: "And me, Wu Nenghe from the Heavy Drinkers Association!"

"That's obvious without any explanation!"

"Come on, come on, it's fate that we met. Let's drink first, whether we join or not. Cheers!"

Three large wine glasses, comparable in size to water bottles, were shoved into the hands of the three men with a clatter, wisps of steam rising from the liquid above them.

"Hey senior, this wine is evaporating!!" Faris exclaimed in horror.

"Oh, maybe the prescription is a bit high." "Don't worry about it." Damn it!

The brothers gasped, seeing the same fear and determination in each other's eyes.

We have to use the ultimate move now...!

Vilsa was the first to go. He was a pure barbarian who had fought his way out of the icy wilderness. He had experienced many drinking parties since childhood and often warmed up with strong liquor before hunting. He was very familiar with the ins and outs of drinking.

The more you drink, the more you can enjoy it; once you start, it's hard to stop. Therefore, to quickly end a social engagement, you need to abandon your inhibitions and demonstrate your true drinking skills.

"Seniors, please help yourselves. I'll go first!"

Velsa raised his large glass and drank it down in a hearty manner, his uninhibited drinking style quite exotic, the wine dripping down his chin and wetting his clothes.

The muscular seniors cheered in unison, while Faris whispered, "That's despicable! He actually faked drinking!"

A closer look reveals that the wine dripping from the corner of Versa's mouth is continuous. This is the "drinking on the surface, spitting out on the surface" technique, a classic example of fake drinking at the table! By using the tongue and teeth to push most of the wine out from the corner of the mouth, the drinking appears bold but only a very small amount is actually consumed—an extremely cunning trick.

Novice drinkers are easily fooled and ridiculed if they use this trick, but Versa's technique is superb. The speed at which the wine flows is just right, and it is impossible for laymen to see anything amiss.

"Damn it, that's exactly what I was going to do!" Lü Wenjun gritted his teeth. "Why would you, a simple-minded barbarian, resort to such cunning tricks!"

Vilsa put down his glass, his gaze heavy: "It's very cold atop the pine trees in winter..."

"You actually got caught before, huh?!"

The senior students clapped and said, "Hey, junior giant, have another drink!"

"Just one bite is too disrespectful!"

Versa looked closely and saw that the wine glass had only sunk to a depth of about an inch, which was at most a normal sip.

"this……?"

"You're wasting too much wine," Wu Nenghe laughed. "This wine glass has a wine recycling function; anything you don't drink will go back into the glass."

"........."

Velsa's face darkened. Lu Wenjun and Faris grabbed his shoulders, one on each side, and sneered, "Drink up, this is your destiny!"

Tons tons tons tons.

"vomit……"

"Great drinking capacity! I'll have a drink with you!" "Haha, let's have another!" "The other two juniors, please don't be shy!"

Velsa squatted down, holding the cup, while Faris, true to his reputation as a top-notch scoundrel, immediately changed his expression and solemnly said, "Seniors, I'm truly sorry, but I am actually a minor."

"Have you no shame?" Lü Wenjun cursed.

Faris declared righteously, "Although I am currently over 18, in our America, the legal drinking age is 21. I am a minor at the table!"

"That's not what you said when you were pouring beer before."

The senior students nodded repeatedly: "I see..." "No matter what, we can't let underage magicians drink alcohol." "Then you can drink juice."

Faris accepted the juice with a beaming smile: "I'm so sorry, let me toast all of you seniors first!"

He grabbed the juice bottle and gulped down a mouthful, spraying out a vibrant rainbow: "fxck!"

"Oh dear, this child is really something." "How could he choke on his juice?"

Faris raised his middle finger and squatted down next to Versa. Lü Wenjun conjured up a will-o'-the-wisp and tossed it into the glass; the "juice" burned into a bluish-green glow.

"Senior, your juice is flammable, you know!"

Senior Wu pondered, "It's that, probably because it fermented after being stored for too long."

"That's just alcohol, you bastard!!"

Faris clutched his chest, his face somber: "Actually, I've always had a dream of becoming a muscleman..."

"What are you suddenly saying? Did you get stupid from drinking a sip of high-purity juice?" Lü Wenjun said.

“I understand. Sometimes I envy those slim and slender figures,” Virsa nodded.

"Are you drunk too, Vilsa? What kind of wine is this? One sip and you feel like your heart and lungs are being poured out."

“This is called ‘True Heart Wine’,” said Senior Wu.

Lu Wenjun felt a chill run down his spine: "W-what is 'True Heart Wine'?"

"As the saying goes, people speak the truth when they're drunk, and this is the kind of alcohol that makes people tell the truth!" the senior students laughed. "There are few carefree moments in this world, and getting drunk is a rare opportunity for happiness!"

Honestly...

...Tell me the truth?!

Lu Wenjun felt a cold sweat break out on his back. The drastic change in his mentality made him feel as if he had suddenly jumped from a comedy theater to the horror movie set next door.

Everyone in this academy can talk nonsense without any scruples, except him! With both a special agent mission and a mortal identity, if he were to speak the truth from the bottom of his heart, he probably wouldn't be able to survive in this secret realm!

"What's wrong, junior?" "You can't be that disrespectful, can you?" "We need to think of a way to get Lü Wenjun drunk..." "We can't let him get away alone."

While the senior students launched an encirclement, two scoundrels blocked his escape route from behind. Luckily, he had prepared for this day...

Lu Wenjun pulled a small gem bottle from his bag and said in a booming voice, "I'll have a beer to calm my nerves first!"

Chapter 77 Truth Revealed After Drinking Fine Wine

It's a little embarrassing to admit, but Lü Wenjun has never been a very good drinker. After all, he's been in poor health since birth, and even though he can overcome his congenital deficiencies through hard work and training, it's not something that's easy to improve one's alcohol tolerance before adulthood.

But if he were to be forced to drink until he made a complete fool of himself, he'd probably be laughed to death by some witch for the next month. So, he secretly prepared a cheating method.

When it comes to questions related to wine, one should naturally consult the ancient Greek god who was in charge of wine.

"Mr. Caboney, what should I do at a party if I have a very low alcohol tolerance?"

"Drink until you're satisfied."

"I'm afraid I can't keep track of how much he drinks by myself."

“This is what’s called cultural dross,” Cabone said, launching into a long explanation. “Listen carefully: wine is a wonderful medicine that brings joy, and raising a glass is precisely for the sake of a moment of blissful intoxication. But if fine wine is used as a social tool, it goes against the winemaker’s original intention. The drinker is anxious, the persuader is confused, and the person goes home drunk and vomits everywhere. What’s the point of such a drinking party?”

“Your crazy followers never talk about this.” Huther said.

“The opposite of passion is always madness; this is an age-old truth.” Cabone conjured a small bottle. “But we always have a good plan. Since we’re worried about embarrassing ourselves after getting drunk, let’s just get drunk first and then go!”

It was a purplish-red, narrow-necked bottle, its body inlaid with many gemstones, resembling a bunch of grapes hanging from the treetops.

“Different wines have different ways of getting drunk.” Cabernet mysteriously handed him the bottle. “This is the best way to get drunk; it can cover up all the other kinds of drunkenness.”

·

Glug, glug, glug.

Lu Wenjun forced himself to drink half a bottle of wine, bracing himself for a strong heartburn, but instead felt a clear spring flow down his throat, making his internal organs feel exceptionally clear. A faint aroma lingered in his mouth, the taste of grapes, honey, and roasted wheat.

His mind felt completely free of heaviness; his body felt incredibly light, and even his eyes lit up. A sense of confidence welled up within him. Just a second ago, he was afraid of alcohol, but now he felt… no, he firmly believed that drinking was no big deal at all. He could try other liquors; he could drink ten more glasses without any problem.

"I feel much better." He took the glass from his senior's hand. "Let me try what Zhenxin Wine tastes like."

Glug, glug, glug.

His throat bobbed, the wine went down his throat, and he finished the entire glass of fine wine in one gulp. Lü Wenjun put down the glass and wiped his mouth.

"Like mint-flavored popping candy, or grass as fast as lightning."

Faris's eyes widened: "Holy crap, that's a huge amount!"

Lu Wenjun smiled smugly, holding up his empty glass: "Is there any more? Have another one!"

"Yes, we have some!" "Quickly fill up the junior's cup!"

The senior students hurriedly filled his glass, and Lü Wenjun tilted his head back and drank it down without even blinking. A chorus of exclamations arose around him, and Senior Wu clapped his hands loudly: "Impressive drinking capacity! I couldn't even manage half that in my freshman year!"

"Let's go, let's go. Let's drink as we walk," Lü Wenjun said cheerfully. "To the next club! The next one!"

He pulled his friends forward, bursting into the railway enthusiasts' booth and grabbing a glass of golden liquor that seemed to glow with electricity. The liquor tasted like an unripe orange. He turned around and encountered the plants of the botanical club, who were chatting happily with the ancient tree. He asked for a grassy-colored strong liquor, but it tasted like light tea. He chuckled as he held the tea-like liquor.

"Xiao Wenjun, are you drunk?" Jiujiu Mu looked at him with amusement.

"How can you drink without getting drunk!" Lü Wenjun waved his glass. "Where else can you find good wine?"

The senior students rushed over to deliver the message: "The dark yellow stall on the northeast side! Those guys from the Mineral Collectors brought dwarven mead!"

"That brightly colored tent has eggnog."

"Those metal carts on the mountain road are all the work of the human-powered vehicle department!"

Lü Wenjun rushed to the stall, drawn by the aroma of the liquor, and without caring about any clubs, started drinking. The short, upperclassman tending the stall panicked: "This is for getting freshmen drunk!"

"I'm a newbie."

"You're lying! What newcomer can drink as much as you!"

"What does it matter? It's no fun just sitting here. Come and have some fun."

He dragged the dwarf up the mountain, while Faris, Velsa, and the original seniors followed behind, excitedly jeering with large wine glasses in hand. Other clubs whose drinks had been stolen, as well as newcomers trying to escape the chaos, chased after them and naturally joined the noisy procession.

The already lively welcome party quickly descended into chaos. Excited individuals clinked glasses with anyone they could find, regardless of whether they were newcomers or old friends. One angry elf attempted to use Manifestation on Lü Wenjun, but his excessive drinking caused his fireball to explode in the sky. Everyone cheered enthusiastically and eagerly followed suit.

It was just past four in the afternoon, and the foot of the academy was bustling with activity, like a New Year's celebration. Magicians chatted and laughed during the party-like parade, and Lü Wenjun spoke with many unfamiliar seniors.

He learned that "Soft and Fluffy Club" and "Little Cutie Stars Sparkling Party" were clubs founded many years ago by seniors in an effort to become a star in the academy. Their efforts naturally failed, but these seemingly frivolous clubs, along with the friendships among classmates, have survived.

The "Heavy Drinking Enthusiasts" club initially started as a place for ostracized loners to drown their sorrows in alcohol. Because they often drank together, they eventually formed a club. The activity rooms of the three clubs were very close to each other, so the members, who were struggling on the verge of disbanding, often drank and ate hot pot together.

"Many people don't know that the president is actually a member of our club!" said Senior Wu.

Is the student council president someone who is ostracized?