The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

“Yes, he’s already broken through the second-to-last level. This guy always…” Fang Mo frowned, “Wait, how can he climb so fast? Even fast food shouldn’t be this fast.”

"...The legendary ultimate delicious and quick dish?"

Melt checked the surveillance footage from the first few floors and said, puzzled, "But they all look so happy... They're eating like they're about to faint..."

"Merte, watch closely!" Fang Mo exclaimed nervously, "That's not just about to faint, it's a real, unconscious man!"

"what?!"

Melt looked closely and found it to be true. The fat otaku judges on the first floor were sprawled on the floor! The rich young ladies on the second floor were lying on their backs in their chairs! The picky senior judges on the third floor were the same, as were the gloomy older women on the fourth floor... All the difficult judges were unconscious, but they all had expectant smiles on their faces, as if they had been stunned by the delicious food!

"Hey, didn't Kano-senpai set up the rules? Why is this happening?"

Polly started trembling: "W-what's going on..."

Kano said gravely, "Could it be that...!"

At that moment, the door opposite the Four Heavenly Kings opened, and the challenger who ascended to the seventh floor was, unsurprisingly, this year's renowned chef, Lü Wenjun. He bowed to everyone and, as if by magic, produced a dessert... It was an exquisitely crafted chocolate celestial sphere, its shape resembling land and sea, rendered in black and white chocolate!

"It's getting late, so it's not appropriate to have a full meal at this hour. Let's settle this with desserts," Lü Wenjun said with a smile. "South American-style Tai Chi Chocolate Celestial Sphere, please. Just so you know, it might be so delicious you'll faint!"

Absolutely delicious! The instincts of a glutton are calling out, and the mouths of all the Heavenly Kings are starting to water!

Melt, a regular customer at the tavern, was the first to stand up, wiping his mouth roughly: "Senior, I'll go first! I can tell whether it's a trap or not!"

"No!" Kano reached out to stop him. "What a vicious trap... Lü Wenjun, you're too despicable!"

Fang Mo couldn't see anything amiss at first, only that the pastry looked incredibly delicious: "What exactly is he plotting?"

"The ingredients and craftsmanship of this pastry are of the highest quality, it must have been made by Lü Wenjun himself... However, this is not his work alone!"

Lu Wenjun's smile turned cold: "Hehe, did you see that? As expected of Senior Kano."

Kano raised a finger and shouted, "The problem lies in the most crucial element: the seasoning! The seasoning is handled by someone else! That person's cooking skills are terrifyingly lethal; even with their best efforts, the food is so bad it can make someone faint!!"

Polly trembled even more violently: "No, no, no, could it be..."

Lu Wenjun, holding a chocolate ball in one hand, snapped his fingers with the other. The scene on the monitor changed at that very moment! It showed the sixth floor, which had recently been breached, with the judges guarding it leaving a bright red farewell message in chili sauce—

[Disgusting!]

"That's right. I, Lü, am merely the sous chef in charge of plating this time. Our team's true head chef is here!"

Mingxiao strode into the room, pointing to herself with her thumb: "It's me, Mingxiao!"

Polly burst into tears.

"I want to go home!! Let me go home!!"

Kano's forehead began to sweat: "Everyone, everyone, don't panic. She's only one person; she can't possibly kill the four of us—"

Lu Wenjun's smile deepened as he raised his finger and cracked the surface of the chocolate ball. What appeared before the Four Heavenly Kings was... a crust made of chestnuts and soy sauce! Magma mixed with chili oil and fermented bean curd! And a core made of a mysteriously semi-solidified goose egg!

"Don't be afraid, everyone. My cooking is delicious." He smiled kindly. "Who wants to eat first?"

Polly's features started to distort wildly across her face, and she looked like she was about to ascend to heaven on the spot. Kano slammed his fist on the table and stood up, his voice booming, "Don't even think about it! I'm now announcing the special rules for the seventh level of the Thousand-Year Cave! The winner of this level will now be determined by a deep red spicy hot pot duel!!"

The moment Akira appeared, Kano E's brain began to work at lightning speed.

Jumping out the window and running away right now... won't work! Once the rules are abandoned, the fattening spell centered on the tower will be unsustainable, and the enraged female mages will undoubtedly unleash their full power. Forget about eating, you'll only get a good beating.

However, if one were to eat Mingxiao's dishes according to the normal rules... it could very well lead to death. One's soul might even fly to the Underworld. Therefore, the rules were urgently changed, limiting the cuisine to "spicy hot pot."

Hot pot is the most forgiving solution for those who are terrible at cooking. Just throw the ingredients into the pot and cook them; the worst that can happen is that they're overcooked or undercooked. On top of that, the rich, spicy broth can even mask the staleness of some ingredients thanks to the flavors of beef tallow and chili.

In this way, the deadly cooking tasting event turned into a harmonious autumn hot pot meal... After finishing the hot pot, wipe your mouths, say that you have won, and then leave safely. This way, you can have both a late-night snack and stay safe. This is my escape route!

—That's what you must be thinking, Kano-senpai.

Lu Wenjun's smile grew increasingly sinister.

Thinking of using hotpot as a shield certainly demonstrates remarkable resourcefulness. But you're still too naive.

How could a mere pot of chili oil possibly withstand the senior's deadly skills!

Chapter 74 All Schemes Lead to Starvation

"That's not bad, we haven't had hot pot in a long time either." Lü Wenjun squinted his eyes. "However, senior, you changed the rules on your own initiative, shouldn't you give us some leeway? Each person can choose one type of ingredient, and our chef will start cooking."

"It's fair, but if someone deliberately causes trouble, the meal won't be very enjoyable." Fang Mo added, "Everyone takes turns adding ingredients and picking up food in order. Whoever can't finish their food loses. How about that?"

"Enough talk, let's get cooking!" Mingxiao waved his hand.

Kano tapped the table, and the judges' square table transformed into a round table for a meal. In the center of the table, a large pot of red soup was boiling, emitting a rich aroma of butter and spiciness.

He then conjured a ram's horn covered in floral and fruit carvings, introducing it to the crowd: "This is a magical ram's horn that can provide food; please help yourselves~"

Great, we've won!

Fang Mo chuckled inwardly. The ram's horn that Kano had unleashed was the core of this obesity mutation. It was none other than Lady Huise's ingredient storehouse, a renowned treasure that continuously provided delicious raw materials, originating from the "Horn of Plenty" in ancient Greek mythology.

To orchestrate this incident, Kano risked being hunted down by Huise by stealing the Corn of Abundance from the tavern. Even if Mingxiao's culinary skills are terrible, with the world's finest ingredients, how badly could he possibly ruin them?

"The content is quite substantial, so I'll choose this one..."

Mingxiao poured out a whole basin of mud-like semi-liquid substance from the ram's horn.

"Spicy honey, green grass, and pig's blood."

"Cough—!"

The sounds of vomiting blood rang out in unison, and the Four Heavenly Kings were somewhat shaken! Even Lü Wenjun showed a look of horror!

The indescribable substance was slowly writhing in the basin; the mixture of honey, chili peppers, and blood gave it a color resembling bruises. Moreover, clumps of whitish grass sprouted from the surface of the bruise. It looked exactly like a moldy, filthy, bloody mess!

“Abababa…” Polly cried out.

Fang Mo grabbed Kano and yelled, "What the hell are you doing?! How did you manage to pull something like this out of the Corner of Abundance?!"

Kano shook his head vigorously: "This means that sometime in the past, people in some place considered this a delicacy and enjoyed it..."

"Who is it?! What kind of desperation would drive someone to eat something like this?!"

Mingxiao curled her lip: "You really have no taste. This is a very popular local delicacy in my hometown. Watch carefully, pour it into the pot in pieces like this..."

The terrifying pig's blood that fell into the pot sank several times, eventually turning into something resembling rotten flesh.

"Then you can enjoy it easily."

Melt screamed, "This is no easy task! The pot is floating with dismembered bones, and the boar's resentment is overflowing!"

Mingxiao picked up a piece with her chopsticks and chewed it with relish: "It's delicious. Come on, everyone, have some!"

"I actually ate it, how terrifying!"

This is precisely what makes Mingxiao truly terrifying. It's not that she has a dulled sense of taste, nor is it a deliberate attempt to harm others; rather, beyond the common sense of food, she possesses a unique culinary aesthetic that only she can comprehend. According to Lü Wenjun's speculation, it's likely a recipe from some ancient, supernatural force that existed as early as the time recorded in the Obsidian Canon.

In Mingxiao's eyes, ancient and modern food each have their own flavor, while in the eyes of the other pitiful people, it is nothing more than violence disguised as food! This unique advantage makes her a terrorist who can pour X into a hot pot without batting an eye!

(Even I am terrified by this terrifying trump card. The only solution now is to throw as many high-quality ingredients as possible into the pot to cover up the demonic pig's blood, and I will quietly remember the location of the ingredients...) Lü Wenjun chuckled to himself. (Whether to add more poison or ingredients afterward depends on my decision as the last person to add the food. The initiative in this hot pot battle is already in my hands!)

—That must be what Lü Wenjun was thinking.

Kano's eyes revealed a desperate, all-or-nothing look.

A rational decision, a reasonable strategic plan. It's just a pity you overestimated one thing...

Lu Wenjun was startled upon seeing this: "Senior, you?!"

"You've seriously overestimated the limits of us scoundrels!" Fang Mo laughed. "I want an extra plate of 30-day aged fried tofu!"

Melt turned the plate over: "I'm making crispy fried termite cakes!"

Polly's eyes blazed with an indomitable fighting spirit: "I'll use the leftover fried chicken from last night!"

"And my tomato and condensed milk xiaolongbao!" Kano waved his hand. "There's no need to be polite in a hot pot showdown. Everyone, put whatever you want in the pot, eat it all!"

Lu Wenjun's expression shifted from shock to horror, and from horror to panic. The falling of those four plates of indescribable things turned the hot pot into a hellish lava pit! The remains of insects and greasy fried dough floated on the surface of the broth, the horror evolving from floating rotting flesh to a full-blown disintegration spectacle!

"Stop it, you bunch of bastards!" Even Mingxiao couldn't take it anymore. "Look what you've done to the perfectly good hot pot broth! The god of hot pot is crying!"

"Senior, please stop. You are the least qualified person at the table to say such a thing," Lü Wenjun said sadly.

Kano laughed loudly: "Lu Wenjun, you're too naive. For a bunch of scoundrels like us, if we can't have good food, we'll make the other side experience the same pain. We're not going to rack our brains to protect the pot; let's all hold hands and go to heaven together!"

"Senior, I admit defeat. You really are a total scumbag. Since things have come to this, I don't need to hold back anymore."

Lü Wenjun reached for the ram's horn and took out...

A whole, blood-red, walnut-shaped white object.

"I'll use this raw, marinated demon pig brain to drag you all down to hell!!"

"Stop, junior! Do you want to kill someone?!" Melt exclaimed.

"The person who laid termite cakes has no right to criticize me."

"Ah—!! It slid down, that thing slid down—!!!"

Kano's face turned pale: "What utter disrespect! The God of Hot Pot will curse you."

"Senior, eat your tomato and condensed milk soup dumplings before you say that. I'm the God of Hot Pot, and you'll be the first one I fry."

"Hey, have you guys heard anything weird?" Mingxiao said. "Kano's pot's bubbling up."

The arguing crowd turned to look and discovered that deep red bubbles were continuously rising from the hot pot. The bubbles grew larger and more distinct. Then, finally, the red broth erupted like a fountain, shooting skyward!

Amidst the horrified gazes of the crowd, a robust, gleaming human figure rose from the center of the hotpot! It was an incredibly muscular old man, his entire body made of butter, with muscles as developed as a berserker's!

"It's here! Aaaaaaah!" Polly screamed.

"The God of Hot Pot... no, the Lord of Hot Pot has appeared!" Kano exclaimed in shock.

"Why is there this kind of thing in your hot pot?" Mingxiao asked.

"What should we do? Hotpot Master looks really angry. I feel like he might order a blood sacrifice because of this," said Lü Wenjun.

The Hotpot Master's long beard was covered with tofu dregs, blood clots, and half-crushed pig brains; his imposing presence was, literally, terrifying. He roared, plunged his arms into the red broth, and scooped out two pieces of demonic pig blood. One emitted a golden light, the other a gleaming silver.

He turned to Fang Mo and said in a sinister tone, "Did you drop this curry-flavored demon pig's blood, or this sugar-flavored demon pig's blood?"

Fang Mo's face turned deathly pale: "Quack! Don't frame me! This thing was placed by Ming Xiao!!"

"You're an honest, good boy..." Hotpot Master roared, "These two pieces of demonic pig's blood are a damn reward for you!!"

Hotpot Master punched with both fists, simultaneously shoving two pieces of demonic pig's blood into Fang Mo's mouth. With a gulp, the food went down, Fang Mo's mouth gaped open, and two "gag" sounds came from his throat before he collapsed to his knees, lifeless.

"This is too cruel! Senior Fang Mo is dead!!" Melt said in grief.

Kano wiped his eyes: "Fang Mo didn't even close his eyes, he died with his eyes open!!"

The "Hot Pot Master" did a 73° spin, turning directly towards Lü Wenjun. The latter felt a deathly threat looming over him and hastily grabbed some food with his chopsticks, exclaiming, "No need for your trouble, I'll eat it myself—wow!"

The food he picked up was fried tofu aged for 30 days by Fang Mo. The yellowish-brown object already had an extremely terrifying smell, and after being soaked in the broth, it became even more repulsive. Polly across the table had already begun to secretly gag.

Mingxiao gasped, "It's Fang Mo's ghost causing trouble..."

Lu Wenjun felt his sense of smell was about to be destroyed by the stinky tofu, and without thinking, he quickly stuffed it into his mouth. The next instant, everything went black. The intense odor irritated his mouth and nerves like spears, as if a super-powerful stinky bomb had exploded in his mouth!

"Ugh... Ugh..."

“The light in my junior’s eyes has disappeared! His eyes look like they’re dead!” Melt said fearfully.

Lu Wenjun knelt before the table, his eyes glazed over. The hotpot master nodded in satisfaction, then scooped two more pieces of fried chicken from the pot; the batter, soaked with gravy, was dripping a murky mixture of gold and white liquid.

He looked at Polly: "Did you drop this piece of stinky tofu fried chicken... or this piece of termite fried chicken?!"

"No, no, no..." Polly's mouth almost fell off her chin in shock. "Mert! It was Mert who put it there!!"

Melt exclaimed in shock: "Oh, you bastard, you've framed me!"

Hotpot Master's gaze suddenly turned to him, and Melt, recalling Fang Mo's previous encounter, had a sudden inspiration: "That's right, it was me who put it there."

If telling the truth means you'd eat two portions, then lying would mean you wouldn't have to eat them at all.

"Very well! Then you can eat it yourself!!"

"Guwa—"

Hotpot Master once again shoved the cold fried chicken, covered in suspicious objects, into Melt's mouth! Melt spun 720° in the air before collapsing to the ground like a dead dog! Judge Mingxiao gave him 9 points!

“May, Melt…” Polly wiped away her tears, “We will never forget your sacrifice…”

Melt struggled to reach out and grab Lu Wenjun's arm: "Bring Polly... here with us... eat her."

"Senior, you can go without worry..."