The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

"Waaah!"

"A fatal blow! A perfect strike!" Lü Wenjun clapped his hands.

"The rest is up to you, Wenjun~"

Ling Gong opened the window and jumped out, running away like a fox that had stolen some fried tofu. Lü Wenjun walked into the classroom and grinned at the witch.

"So you wanted to attend the dance but were worried about making a fool of yourself by dancing badly, so you asked Linggong to help you practice?"

"What, do you have a problem with that?"

Lu Wenjun hesitated several times before finally saying, "Your interpersonal relationships are truly disastrous..."

Pershka retorted angrily, "None of your business!"

·

"Please look up a little slower" - you almost crushed my jaw.

"Likewise, you just stepped on my foot."

"What can I do if you move your dance steps a beat too late?"

"Isn't it your responsibility to match the lady's pace?"

Squeak. Squeak. The unpleasant noise of shoes scraping the floor couldn't drown out the two students' bickering. The top students glared at each other, their eyes blazing with fury. Their stiff movements were nothing like those of dancers; they looked more like two ancient monsters locked in a fierce struggle.

The dance partner was changed after all, because Miss Persica regretfully couldn't find a third person she could talk to. Both of them were harboring resentment and vowed to maintain their composure, at least until the other overturned the table.

The dance hall is a battlefield; whoever turns hostile first loses!

"Let's go through all the movements first, then work them out one by one." Lü Wenjun was already grinding his teeth. "I'll raise my arm, you turn around once, and then finish, okay?"

"You'd better hold on tighter."

As the dance drew to a close, the melody suddenly rose, and Lü Wenjun took Persika's hand, giving her ample room to perform. In a formal waltz, this would be a delightful moment, as the woman's skirt would bloom like a flower as she twirled, before settling back into the arms of the steady gentleman supporting her.

However, Lü Wenjun raised his hand a little too high, and Pershika, who was already half a head shorter than him, could barely reach it. She lost her balance halfway through her side spin and fell backward, her elbow slamming into Lü Wenjun's abdomen. Lü Wenjun gasped and looked down, his chin hitting the back of her head.

The two men fell to the ground, and two screams echoed through the swirling dust.

Pershka pushed himself up from the floor, his resentment palpable: "Mr. Lü Wenjun, what on earth are you doing?!"

Lu Wenjun gasped, clutching his stomach: "What are you doing? Why can't you even manage to spin around twice in one spot?!"

"You're carrying it higher than my coat rack!"

"Your coordination is absolutely terrible!"

They abandoned all manners and rhythm, sat on the ground and berated each other, finally crossing their arms and turning their faces away, letting out indignant snorts.

For a moment, only the replaying music remained in the classroom. Lu Wenjun and she were at an impasse for a while, but Lu Wenjun felt that this was too childish and sighed deeply.

"Why do you want to attend the ball?" he asked. "Given your personality, you probably wouldn't want to waste your time in such social situations."

“Because I want to dance,” Pershka said.

"Aha?"

“Don’t we often see scenes like that in movies and fairy tales? A heroine in a gorgeous dress steps onto the dance floor, and she dances gracefully with another gentleman. Their movements are elegant and beautiful, attracting everyone’s attention without saying a word, and when the song ends, everyone in the room, men and women alike, applauds for her,” Persika said wistfully. “Just watching it is so wonderful; every girl dreams of stepping onto the dance floor.”

At this moment, her arrogance vanished, replaced by the air of an innocent, immature little girl. Lu Wenjun instinctively wanted to retort, but didn't want to say anything too harsh, so he simply said, "You're in university now, Miss Pershka."

"What, is it childish?"

"Some people might think that way."

Pershka didn't care at all: "What does that have to do with me? What I like is my own business, why should I care about other people's opinions? If we can only have what is generally accepted, then life is nothing but boring."

Lü Wenjun fell silent. He recalled a long time ago when he had described the monsters he had read in books to his classmates, speaking with great enthusiasm and conviction, only to be met with laughter from everyone. They said Lü Wenjun was childish, still talking about demons and monsters at his age.

Yes, that's a childish preference. Because you're different from most people your age, you like childish things. They are mature adults, and you are a child who never grows up.

Lü Wenjun stood up and brushed the dust off his clothes.

“Your body coordination is terrible,” he repeated.

"you--"

“To be honest, you rely too much on magic, so you’re not very agile. You’re clumsy when you dance, and even if your partner is very cooperative, it won’t look good.” Lu Wenjun beckoned with his finger, “Try hitting me, any way you like.”

Pershka kicked him angrily, but Lü Wenjun took a step back beforehand, and the girl's foot landed between his feet, like a perfectly timed dance step.

"If you want to improve your coordination, you have to practice your footwork first." Lü Wenjun racked his brains, recalling his father's tone from back then, "Next, I'll punch you mercilessly..."

Pershka glared at him: "Say that again?"

"Pah! I'll try to launch an attack!" Lü Wenjun quickly changed his tune. "Dancing and fighting are similar, it's just a matter of going back and forth, one method leads to all methods. If you can dodge simple punches and kicks, your hands and feet will be basically coordinated, and then fighting... ah no, I mean, practicing dancing will be very easy."

Pershka crossed his arms: "You expect me to become a kung fu master in two weeks? No way!"

“Nobody expects you to practice martial arts. You’ll be dancing with me, and once you learn to dodge a few simple moves, you’ll know how to fight back and forth.” Lu Wenjun spread his hands. “If you’re not happy, that’s fine too. I’m happy to dance the wooden dummy dance with Miss Clumsy. We’ll both embarrass ourselves, so neither of us can blame the other.”

Pershka met his gaze for a few seconds, then turned away: "It'd better work."

“I’m an expert in this field, you have to trust the experts,” Lü Wenjun said.

He was very confident about this because he was also a guy with absolutely no coordination skills when he was a child.

·

"Hit. No change."

"I did try to avoid it, but you attacked too quickly."

"Your leg did move, but your hand didn't follow, which is why it touched you. Let's try again."

"hateful!"

And so, the new training began at five o'clock every afternoon. The music only played for a short while at the end; most of the time, it was the tense scraping of shoes on the floor and the constant arguing.

"Mr. Lü Wenjun, where were you hitting just now?!" Pershka clutched his chest.

Lu Wenjun rolled his eyes: "It was your own mistake that you leaned in, okay? Besides, we already hugged each other before, is it necessary to be so petty?"

"Voluntary and being ambushed are different."

"Don't make me sound like a lecher!"

From an objective standpoint, the training... has indeed shown some progress. Miss Witch's physical coordination has improved significantly, and Lü Wenjun is certain that she has been secretly practicing since returning home; otherwise, she couldn't have improved so quickly.

However, their coordination remains a mess. They are both too self-centered and assertive, making it difficult for them to dance together even as they become more familiar with the moves.

To get the rhythm right, more time is needed to work things out, but Lü Wenjun still has a lot to do. He has to study, save money to work, and can't be in the classroom every afternoon.

So, on the fourth night of the following week, Persica appeared in a corner of the tavern, flipping through her notes while sipping herbal Greek camellia. Meanwhile, three beast witches were helping out by serving dishes inside and outside the tavern, much to the chagrin of the customers.

Lu Wenjun slammed the salad bowl down, gritting his teeth: "What exactly are you up to?"

“I’ll wait for you to finish your work, so you’ll have more time to practice,” Pershka said with a sly smile.

"Damn it...! Manager, there's a rude customer here deliberately interfering with my work!!"

Huise walked over with a smile and placed a crystal lamp down: "Here, this is the same magic lamp as the one in the library. You can read the original texts here without any problem."

Pershka clasped his hands together and said, "Thank you, you're so kind."

Lu Wenjun was shocked: "Our head chef was actually being treated kindly! Why is he being so inexplicably nice to this woman?!"

Hui Se turned and slapped him, while Caboni at the counter looked at him with a look of disappointment: "Student Lü, such a good girl is willing to wait for you, you should cherish her."

"What kind of filter are you using to open your eyes? I'm suffering! I'm being tortured by her!"

Pershka gave him a triumphant look, then turned to Huyser and whispered, "This gentleman said I had a bad temper before, but he himself gets all worked up over the slightest provocation..."

Hui Se shook her head repeatedly: "Sigh, these young people nowadays... You should say less and get back to work!"

Lu Wenjun rolled his eyes as he held the plate, feeling an overwhelming and unending sorrow.

Chapter 42: It's a tradition to mess things up on the last day.

The tavern's closing time was irregular; when there weren't many customers, they would close around nine o'clock. Since it was too much trouble to make a special trip to the teaching building at that time, they had no choice but to practice in the deserted woods.

“If someone passes by and takes a picture, we’ll be seen as perverts having a tryst in the woods the next day.”

"Isn't that great? It fulfills your wish to stand out from the crowd."

"Miss Pershka, you don't care about public opinion at all, do you?"

"I've already danced with you, why would I care about public opinion?"

The bickering never stopped, and the dancers were constantly making noise. Three beast witches played their violins creaking and squeaking nearby, each wearing a helpless expression on their demon masks.

The grove isn't an audiovisual classroom; there are no convenient music crystals here, but there are idle guests.

One of the tavern's regulars was a once-handsome harpist—I say "once" because his face was covered in stitches, and only his eyes and brows betrayed his former handsomeness. Watching the young people practice their dance, he felt an urge to join in and volunteered to accompany them. His music possessed a captivating magic, perfectly blending even the wood-sawing noise of the beast witches.

The harpist said gently, "You've made great progress. Let's take a short break before continuing."

Lu Wenjun and Pershka immediately separated, pointing at each other and saying at the same time, "There's no way you can dance well with this guy!"

They awkwardly looked away and said, "I can't possibly be in sync with this gentleman/lady!"

“Children, dancing, like adventure, is a collaboration between people. It doesn’t require everyone to have the same abilities, but rather to play to your strengths at the right time.” The harpist chuckled softly. “Why not try switching between fast and slow tempos, with one person leading one rhythm?”

“I simply couldn’t keep up with his fast pace,” Pershka said.

“That means the rhythm set by the leader needs to be adjusted.” The harpist plucked the strings. “If you want it to go slower, you can always slow it down. Come on, let’s start with a soothing slow tempo…”

The music flowed until late into the night, then the harpist quietly disappeared into the darkness, like an invisible ghost. Pershka rubbed his aching ankle and asked, "He wouldn't happen to be the one from the Argo, would he?"

"Who knew that after working here for two weeks, I'd already learned not to pry, not to think, and not to investigate too deeply?" Lü Wenjun said. "Last week, an old man in a black robe came to visit with his adorable three-headed dog. I played fetch with his dog using three frisbees. What could I say? 'Sir, are you carrying a lot of yin energy?' 'Sir, is your dog spitting poison?'"

Pershka chuckled, and Lü Wenjun yawned: "You'd better practice your coordination, Miss Witch, otherwise I'll easily fall even if I try to cooperate with you."

“Why do you know this?” Pershka said. “This isn’t magic, and it has nothing to do with the mysticism of ancient countries.”

Lu Wenjun paused for a moment. He instinctively thought of telling a lie to get by, but then felt there was no need to.

“When I was little, my physical condition wasn’t very good either,” he said. “Coordination, reaction speed, muscle density, bone strength… I was lacking in all aspects of physical condition. Even by the average person’s standards, I was so weak that I was close to dying young, to the point that my parents were very worried that I wouldn’t be able to survive when I grew up.”

“A curse?” Pershka said.

“It’s just a coincidence. A strong father doesn’t necessarily produce a strong son,” Lu Wenjun said. “But my dad always said that three-tenths of it is determined by fate and ninety-seven-tenths by one’s own efforts. If you’re born with a bad constitution, you can make up for it with an extra thirty percent of hard work. He has been training me in various ways since I was a child, which is why I have mastered these methods.”

Looking back now, I really have to thank my parents. If it weren't for my dad's strange and unusual training methods, I probably wouldn't have been able to master the spring leg ability, let alone survive.

"Is that so? Even immortals have it tough."

"I bet even the witches have it easy," Lu Wenjun said casually. "Let's head out now, I have class first thing tomorrow morning."

Pershka raised an eyebrow: "Are you planning to let me walk home alone at night? How gentlemanly of you."

"You already have three bodyguards, do you really need me?!"

They left noisily along the forest path, and soon after, the lights in the tavern went out.

It was late at night, and after searching the entire campus, only the third floor of the Millennium Cave was still brightly lit.

The followers of the Lonely Cult on the third floor of the Thousand-Year Cave have irregular sleep schedules year-round, chatting enthusiastically on the forum even in the dead of night. Cult leader Miss Polly even goes to the front lines herself, offering her opinions in this week's hottest posts.

[Comprehensive Roundup! Freshman Prom List Updating]

[Millennium Cave] Home Hero: Here we come! It's time for our annual gossip!

-Udumbara Kaguya: Yay!

-Anonymous: It's time for my favorite cult leader's gossip again.

Anonymous: Don't underestimate the leader's intelligence network!

[Millennium Cave] Home Heroes: The confirmed attendees this time include...

[Millennium Cave] Home Heroes: Mr. Self-Important from the Magic Art Styling Club! Miss White Wings from the News Club! And Miss Magic Pen from the Magic Art Research Institute!

-Pink Bunny: What's going on? All three major clubs are here now.

-Miko Sora: I smell the scent of battle>-

-Anonymous: Where's the student council? Is the student council president coming?! @炽血姬

[Millennium Cave] Home Hero: Then there's the student council—

[Millennium Cave] Home Hero: Mr. Vice President!

-Udumbara Kaguya: Cut-