The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

“If Wilton or Bill had said this, everyone would have laughed it off, but this is the Emperor of the Universe!” Faris shuddered. “Even she said not to act up, and I think it’s really better not to act up.”

Faris broke free of his restraints and quickly slipped away. Ling Gong was about to say something when she saw Lü Wenjun's face turn a healthy color, like fresh spinach.

"...Wenjun, are you alright?"

Lu Wenjun's smile was more like a grimace.

“I live in the Thousand-Year Cave now,” he said.

Ling Gong exclaimed "Ah!", slapped her palm, and smiled brightly.

"Then, let's go on an adventure together!"

Chapter 17 *du~ lulu lulu*

Starting from the teaching building, walk straight along the main road, jump over a short stretch of swamp, and then pass through a forest path. You will then be able to see the serene building with a bronze roof through the gaps in the maple leaves.

This is a five-story European-style mansion, standing majestically like a guardian of a secret realm on a barren land strewn with maple leaves. Its white brick walls are covered with ivy, and the main building's door opens like the mouth of a giant beast, with connecting corridors on both sides leading to the living areas. The neatly arranged rectangular windows resemble five rows of small eyeballs.

A brass plaque hangs on the wall in front of the residence, reading "Trista College Student Residence." However, the faculty and students of this school prefer another, more approachable name.

They usually call this place "Millennium Cave".

"Fang Mo~ I bought oden, let's eat together~"

The oldest resident of the Thousand-Year Cave is climbing the stairs to the fifth floor, casually swinging a bag full of things.

“Oh, it’s so dark,” he said. “It’s easy to bite a skewer in this environment.”

The curtains in the fifth-floor common area were tightly drawn, plunging the room into complete darkness. Faded old sofas were scattered haphazardly, with only one person seated. The person was quite tall, wearing a tattered cloak, and staring intently at a newspaper.

"Look, Kano," Fang Mo sneered, "this year's freshmen are a bit something—quack, don't open the window!"

Kano abruptly pulled back the curtains, ignoring his old friend's screams. He leaned closer, a bamboo skewer dangling from his mouth: "Watching TV in a bright, well-lit environment—even elementary school kids these days understand that. Let me see..."

He read in a broadcaster's tone: "College News, September Issue 1. Freshman Twins: The White Meteor and the Red Comet!"

Kano was taken aback: "They actually came to enroll in a Gundam and a Zaku. Are all the freshmen monsters?"

"It's a ghost! You idiot, can't you understand metaphors?!" Fang Mo screamed, covering his eyes.

The school newspaper's front page featured two close-up shots: Lu Wenjun, transformed into a white monster, sprinting between carriages, and Pershka, with her orange-red hair, directing the beast witch to crush the phantom spirits.

Kano exclaimed, "What a perfect match, a man of exceptional talent and beauty!"

Fang Mo struggled to draw the curtains, and sneered, "Not bad, two outstanding top students... the kind of 'good students' I hate and despise the most... As a senior member of this school, it is my duty to teach them some practical principles... And do you know that?"

He pointed forcefully at Lü Wenjun's photo: "The top scorer of this year happens to live in this thousand-year-old cave. You understand what I mean, right?"

Kano, with a bamboo wand in his mouth, nodded repeatedly: "I understand, we need to hurry up and hold a welcome party."

"That's right, I'll go prepare firecrackers and ribbons right now—what the hell! I mean, I'm going to steal his original text, teach that kid a lesson, and force him to become a member of our organization, you idiot!" Fang Mo cursed.

"Be careful of being accused of school bullying if you use this method to recruit new students..."

"So what? We're an evil organization!"

Kano broke off half a bamboo skewer and used it to pick his ear, ignoring the shouts around him and engrossed in reading the newspaper.

This report is detailed and precise; it doesn't seem like fake news fabricated by idiots. This suggests the news agency obtained the test records...

But the reporters didn't dare to mess with Professor Ji. Who could have leaked the information?

·

In the sale section of the "Flying Shoes" chain of magical stores, Mingxiao slapped his forehead hard and lamented, "Those idiots..."

The freshman special issue, prominently displayed on the bookshelf, went unnoticed, while this week's school newspaper was selling exceptionally well, with the news agency, which had been suppressed by the printing factory for a long time, making a remarkable comeback.

Mingxiao's personal jade pendant kept chiming with the arrival of magic coins, and the news agency president's message was nothing short of flattering: "Long live Senior Mingxiao! We look forward to your next collaboration with the newspaper!"

What kind of cooperation is this?! The description is so detailed that anyone would know I leaked the information. I'm going to get a tongue-lashing from Professor Ji tomorrow!

Mingxiao's rabbit ears listlessly turned to the shelf, grabbed a box of chocolates and tossed it into the basket. She then chose some fruit and cookies, but still felt somewhat dissatisfied.

These gifts look like they're for visiting someone in the hospital; these days, guys are unlikely to be interested in them.

"If you live outside all year round, you'll probably be more interested in things related to the occult," Mingxiao muttered to himself. "I guess I should just splurge a little."

She emptied her shopping basket and headed to the "mobility equipment section," which was a bit pricey for students, where she browsed through a dazzling array of magic brooms, bicycles, and miniature horses.

Before visiting Lü Wenjun, she needed to choose a suitable gift as soon as possible.

Mingxiao's research had stagnated for so long that she herself had become disheartened. The appearance of Lü Wenjun and his wondrous powers at this moment was like a flash of light in the long, dark night, giving her hope that her research could be advanced.

She was determined to seize that light, at least to try and ask him for help; it wouldn't be right to ask for help empty-handed. Even if Lü Wenjun's magic couldn't help, as his senior, she still had a responsibility to go and ask him.

Such a promising guy actually went to the Thousand-Year Cave as soon as he enrolled... Who knows what kind of trouble he'll cause in a few days!

At the other end of the supermarket, Pershka picked up a special issue for new students and turned to the second half of the column on the Millennium Cave.

Legend has it that ghosts linger here year-round...

Legend has it that this place will sever the red thread of love...

Legend has it that those who mistakenly enter the Thousand-Year Cave will ultimately perish, becoming crippled under the influence of a terrifying curse...

What is the reason behind all this? Our author risks everything to reveal the true identities of the Four Heavenly Kings hidden deep within the ancient cave!

This article claims that there are four senior "century-old seniors" in the Thousand-Year Cave, known as the Four Heavenly Kings who founded the cave. The author spares no effort in describing each of the Four Heavenly Kings as something that is hated by gods and demons, as if looking at them would bring a curse from the heavens.

Pershka skipped over the exaggerated descriptions, focusing on the few potentially useful pieces of information. Her gaze lingered on the last page, and she smiled contentedly.

"found it."

She walked to the counter and found Mingxiao picking and choosing items at the other end of the shelf while she was paying.

Mingxiao was still wearing jeans and a low-cut white shirt. She casually unbuttoned the bottom of her shirt, turning it into a revealing crop top. Such a beautiful and sexy woman should have attracted a lot of attention, but in reality, there was an eerie vacuum around her. All the students passing by tacitly avoided her, afraid of getting involved in the slightest.

Pershka felt the scene was too tragic, so she stepped forward and greeted her: "Good afternoon, Mingxiao-senpai."

At that moment, everyone in the supermarket turned to stare at her, their eyes as if Pershka had lit the fuse of an explosive.

“It’s the Little Witch.” Mingxiao’s reaction was quite normal.

Pershka blinked and asked directly, "Is my senior being isolated?"

An eerie silence fell over the supermarket; she believed that the hearts of everyone watching had stopped beating.

"It's not that bad... You'll understand in a couple of years. That's the troubles of the strong." Mingxiao didn't seem to care much, only sighing. "By the way, you actually read those random magazines? Are you interested in the Thousand-Year Cave too?"

Pershka caught the word "also": "Are you going to the Thousand-Year Cave, Senior?"

“I was planning to go there today…” Mingxiao thought for a moment, “If you’re going, come with me. There are too many idiots in that place; it’s easy to get into trouble if you go alone.”

·

Outside the magic shop was a wide avenue lined with maple trees. The avenue had a distinct slope; students rushing to class could speed down the slope, while those who had finished class had to huff and puff their way back up.

While Pershka and Mingxiao were chatting in the supermarket, Lü Wenjun was walking past from the other side of the road. Also looking to shop, he didn't choose the glittering magic shop across the street, but instead walked a little further to the rarely visited little shop, "Burning Tower."

The owner of the Burning House was a warm and cheerful burning skeleton. He leaned over the counter, which smelled strongly of burnt food, and greeted us: "You are the first customer of the day again."

"Master Fa, could you give me a discount?" Lü Wenjun poked his head out. "Do you have any inexpensive dairy products?"

This little shop has all sorts of strange and unusual ingredients and magical materials, and the skull-headed shop owner who has the ability to get all of these is none other than Old Fa, the school bus driver. It seems that the academy doesn't use the school bus very often, so much so that he has time to run a side business.

Old Fa turned around and rummaged through a pile of broken cabinets: "How cheap do you want it?"

"The cheapest kind that won't kill you," Lu Wenjun said. "Like yesterday's magic pork jerky, it's very good, 5 magic coins for a large portion that's filling."

"You're really tough, kid! That jerky almost broke my teeth!" Old Fa exclaimed. "Let me show you something new today."

Old Fa mysteriously produced a large wooden box, seemingly large enough to hold an encyclopedia. Just as Lü Wenjun was about to open the box, Old Fa quickly stopped him.

“You might not be able to handle it.” Old Fa pushed the box open a crack. “I’ll open it for five seconds first.”

Through the slit, Lü Wenjun saw a tempting deep yellow color, like the crust of freshly baked bread. But before his appetite could even rise, it was shattered by a terrible odor, and everything went black—

In that instant, he saw toilets, septic tanks, long-neglected farms, rotten leeks fermenting under the scorching sun... Everything he could imagine related to stench transformed into vivid illusions, which merged together, as if a hairy, ten-year-old primitive man covered in a massive amount of excrement came to embrace him warmly!

This wasn't just stench, it was stench pressure! The ultimate stench was like an invisible pressure descending from the sky. Faced with that unparalleled, overwhelming stench, humans could only prostrate themselves on the ground, vomiting in despair!

"Ugh! Ugh!"

Lu Wenjun held his breath and gagged incessantly. Old Fa slowly shook his head: "Seeing you like this, I feel so glad I don't have a nose."

"What is this? A cursed weapon from the magical world?!"

“Young man, you’re too ignorant. This is genuine foreign food,” Old Fa said smugly. “This stuff is called ‘Old Boulogne cheese,’ and it’s one of the smelliest foods in the world! It was originally a delicacy that the tavern owner at the foot of the mountain specifically requested. If he hadn’t been unable to stand the smell and vomited, you wouldn’t have had the chance to see it.”

Lu Wenjun leaned against the counter with one hand, almost vomiting: "Your supply channels are quite extensive, you can even get goods from France... I don't want this stuff..."

"This thing costs 1 magic coin."

Without saying a word, Lü Wenjun slapped the jade pendant on his hand and said, "I'll buy it!"

Old Fa was shocked: "You're really buying it? How poor are you? I'm afraid this thing will make my house dirty if I leave it for too long."

"At least the portion is enough and it's not real shit, so I should still eat it!" Lü Wenjun was unusually resolute. "Besides, I'm planning to send some things to the outside world..."

"Oh, no wonder." Old Fa stuffed the cheese box into his bag. "Girlfriend out?"

"No, my parents are used to living away from home, and it wouldn't be good if they didn't send me any news for too long."

Lü Wenjun has found out in the past two days that although students are strictly guarded when entering and leaving the Great Secret Realm, it is still not a problem to send letters or local specialties outside.

Although a letter to the outside world costs 8000 magic coins, he has to send it no matter how expensive or troublesome it is. A perfectly healthy college student suddenly disappearing into thin air would worry even the most carefree parents. Although everything goes smoothly he should be able to return in January next year, who can predict the future…

If spending a little more money can ease my parents' worries for two months, then that's a good thing.

“That’s typical Eastern thinking. We Western bastards haven’t believed in our parents for centuries and they don’t care.” Old Fa tossed him the bag. “Be filial! Your parents will be happy to see you studying so hard.”

Lü Wenjun sensed something was amiss: "What are you learning? Isn't it just about saving money?"

"Hey, Mr. Lü, where do you think you are?" Old Fa chuckled. "This is Trista, the Great Mystic Realm, the absolute core of the Inner World. Even a single graduate student's assignment leaking out could trigger a biohazard. You don't have to worry about the reputation of the campus, but you have to think about the people outside. How can we let just anyone send things out!"

Lu Wenjun felt a headache coming on, but he had to admit that this approach was more appropriate. He forced himself to ask, "Master Fa, could you give me some information? What exactly is the threshold?"

"I'm not making this up, it's all written in black and white in the student handbook." Old Fa held up a burning finger: "If you want to send letters out, you have to be in the top ten of the entire grade for at least four consecutive major exams, or accumulate two first-place finishes in major exams!"

"Why do I have to have academic requirements just for sending a letter?!"

"Using homesickness as motivation for learning can encourage students from outside the region to study more actively," the old man recited with intonation. "It also prevents some local students from being too quickly corrupted by outside entertainment and becoming useless. There are precedents for both of these. Do you want me to tell you about them?"

“No need…” Lü Wenjun waved his hand weakly, “I will learn… I will definitely learn…”

"That's right! This is school, not society. As long as you have good grades and money, 99% of things are no big deal!" Old Fa looked at him with an expression of someone who was easy to teach. "You've already gotten first place in the opening exam. Getting first place in the midterm exam will meet your requirements. Go study hard, you stinky out-of-towner."

"I'm so grateful to you, Master of the Secret Realm."

Lu Wenjun continued climbing the hill carrying a large bag of cheese. He had momentarily forgotten about the smelly cheese and felt both amused and exasperated.

He needs to get first place again if he wants to send a letter... If he gets first place in the midterm exam, wouldn't he really become a genius magician?

What if this stinky out-of-town slacker somehow becomes a great magician...? And if he actually graduates from here...? Do those world-class universities guarantee job placement outside the region...?

With mixed feelings, Lü Wenjun entered the Thousand-Year Cave and returned to his room on the second floor.

The standard accommodation at the Thousand-Year Cave is a single room, a full 20 square meters, with a desk, a private bathroom, and even a crystal screen that can connect to a jade pendant. Compared to his high school dormitory, this environment is like a presidential suite. If it weren't for the rumors that the Thousand-Year Cave is strange, he would have really wanted to live here for a whole semester.

At that moment, the jade pendant flashed and a new message popped up:

Linggong: Wenjun, are you really not going to reconsider? You might get participation points for completing your homework excellently!

The guy became even more interested after hearing Faris's alarmist talk, his eyes filled with anticipation for the adventure.

Lu Wenjun initially wanted to politely decline, but then he remembered that there were academic requirements for sending the letter, so he deleted the "I am studying" that he had just typed.

Lü Wenjun: What you say makes sense. So, shall we meet around six o'clock?

Linggong replied with two fox-eye emojis: "You suddenly become so enthusiastic when grades are mentioned..."

Lü Wenjun: Don't underestimate the ambition of students from our ancient country!

After replying to the message, Lü Wenjun put the jade pendant aside, feeling no psychological pressure whatsoever.

It's just homework anyway, it won't kill anyone, so we might as well take this opportunity to investigate the dorm. If there's anything supernatural, we can just move out as soon as possible.

Earning magic coins and getting regular grades isn't a bad thing; a more fulfilling life isn't necessarily a bad thing. Right now, while schoolwork is stressful, it doesn't seem like a dangerous place of life-or-death struggle. As long as I keep my identity hidden, nothing too serious should happen…

But the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I'd forgotten something.

He pondered the source of his unease, but couldn't figure it out for a moment. What was there to worry about now? Was there someone out of nowhere trying to harm him?

At that moment, Lü Wenjun suddenly heard a voice.