Honkai Impact 3rd is not considered a small opening

"That day will never come." Sakura was certain of this. Her physical condition was too good; she could live long enough for Ling to get married and find her other half.

"You're just taking chances. You think you're in good physical condition and have been exercising regularly, so you can use your health issues to take care of your family's feelings."

"But Sister Ying, there's something I don't understand. When the world is peaceful in the future and you no longer need to kill, have you ever thought about how bad your health will become over time after your family members, your younger brother or sister, grow up, get married, or have other family members?"

Sakura has excellent physical health, but she doesn't care about her body at all. It's as if she's willing to squander her health for the sake of her family.

An Yu didn't understand. How could someone love others without loving themselves?

Sakura remained silent for a long time, but An Yu crossed the dining area and stared at her angrily. It seemed that the young master did not understand what she meant.

"I mean, I'm a trained fighter, and I can hold out until my sister gets married."

"And then!"

Sakura didn't know what to say, but faced with An Yu's aggressive attitude, she suddenly smiled with relief.

There was a hint of playfulness in her unusually cold expression, but An Yu suddenly understood what she meant and found it hard to accept.

"I can't understand. Sister Ying, you're an assassin, you're the famous Forget-Me-Not, you have family you care about, and you'd fight to the death if you were in dire straits. Why do you have this kind of mentality?"

"Can you tell me what you're afraid of? What is it that you can't bear?"

You are the assassin Forget-Me-Not, the dark side of the Moth that chases the flame. What could possibly make the existence of these two labels lead to self-destructive thoughts?

This completely challenges An Yu's understanding, just like how the labels of pride and inferiority can be put together. This was true for Vilvi before, and it is true for Sakura now.

Sakura didn't know how to describe it, but she felt strange. An Yu seemed to be very angry with her, so she didn't hide it from her and told An Yu what she couldn't accept under An Yu's gaze.

"Slaughter".

"...Slaughter!"

An Yu was even more unable to accept this answer than she was; in fact, he felt completely out of sorts, as if he were undergoing a cognitive restructuring.

Chapter 109: Why can't it be me, number one hundred and seven?

"You said you're afraid of killing?"

You, a renowned assassin, are afraid of killing.

Is this some kind of international joke?

"Do you think killing is right?" Sakura shook her head, trying to remove An Yu's hand from her shoulder, but she couldn't move it; he was a little mentally unstable.

"Killing bad guys is."

No, An Yu already knew the Poisonous Chrysalis's mission: to clean up the organization's members whose faith had crumbled and who had betrayed the Fire Chaser Moth.

What's wrong with that?

Sakura was stunned for a while, then brushed her hair aside and looked directly at An Yu.

"Do you really think that the Poison Chrysalis's actual actions are exactly the same as its purpose?"

What a joke! Poisonous Pupa is a purge organization. The reason why the Moth Chasing the Flame repeatedly suffered internal strife and political infighting that escalated out of control was because of Poisonous Pupa.

"Besides, who told you I've always been one of the Poison Chrysalis? I used to be an assassin. When the outside world was talking about Forget-Me-Not, I was just an executioner for money."

Do you know why I'm called Forget-Me-Not?

"That's because I know what I'm doing. I'm committing murder and destroying families for money."

“I picked the forget-me-nots from my own yard, as if it would bring me comfort, but I know that, more than comfort, those forget-me-nots are like burying cherry blossoms that have already died.”

“Tell me, what right do I have to forget all this? Give me a reason, and I’m willing to do anything to hold on to it.”

She's almost gone mad. She's an assassin. She knows what she's doing. She's not a good person, but she still has a conscience.

If it weren't for Ling, she felt like she had become a cold machine. But without Ling, she wouldn't have lived this long. Ling was all that remained in her heart.

An Yu kept taking deep breaths to try and make her expression look normal.

"I probably understand."

“I understand Sakura’s despair. You’re waiting to die, waiting for the day your life ends, waiting for the cherry blossoms to completely wither. You think that death absolves all sins, you want to escape, even though you know it’s shameful, but that’s all you can think.”

“But you have a younger sister, and because of Ling, you can only continue this kind of life. You dare not try other jobs, because once you stop this job that numbs you, the sins that have caught up with you will tear you apart completely.”

"You are trapped by your remaining conscience, tormented by the past to the point of being neither human nor ghost, and now you don't even dare to try to change!"

"Sister Ying, you are much weaker than I imagined."

This cherry blossom is not a pure cherry blossom, it is a cherry blossom of despair.

She is indeed different from the future Yae Sakura. After killing her sister, Yae Sakura's heart was numb, so Kallen opened her heart.

But Sakura is different. After she killed someone, her heart, which should have been numb, was constantly softened by her younger sister. This cycle continued, and what is even more incomprehensible is that her conscience was not completely worn away.

Why did Sister Ying choose this job in the first place?

“After my father passed away, I killed someone for the first time. It was when my enemies came looking for me. Then someone contacted me and told me that I could make money by killing people, which would support my family and pay off my debts.”

There's not much to say. Her father passed away, leaving behind a huge mess. She had a younger sister to take care of, enemies, and debts. She didn't want to sell her body, so murder was the only option left for her.

Of course, there are many ways to make money, but for a girl who hasn't graduated from junior high school, there are no other options.

"Why did you continue doing this job to survive?"

"Because I can't get out of it, the darkness is like maggots clinging to my bones, how can I get rid of it completely? Besides, in a sense, I have inherited my father's legacy."

Perhaps because they had finally opened up, or perhaps because they had given up entirely, Sakura didn't hide anything from An Yu and told her everything.

She talked a lot, and for a moment An Yu couldn't even get a word in edgewise. It's likely that all the things she had been holding back came out in a complaint at that moment.

"I'd still prefer my younger sister. Because of her, even though Sister Sakura is already so strong, she wouldn't dare to do anything out of line."

Sakura's complaints stopped abruptly. She knew, but what had Ling done wrong? No, on the contrary, Ling was so well-behaved that it made her feel sorry for her. She was never willful, cared about her sister's health, and would prepare surprises for her at home.

“Ling did nothing wrong, I was the one who was wrong. I shouldn’t have gotten involved in these things in the first place.”

Ling...sigh.

What wrong did that child do? He was obedient his whole life, yet he ended up dying in despair and trapped in a deathly silence for who knows how many years.

The room fell silent. Sakura regretted saying so much. An Yu was still trying to think of a solution, but at very rare moments, he also had the thought that Sakura should die.

Everyone says that survival is the most important thing, but destroying other people's families for the sake of survival is wrong no matter how you look at it. But how many people can choose to sacrifice themselves in the face of life and death? What's more, Sakura has a younger sister to take care of.

"Actually, if you think about it carefully, the main problem is that Sakura doesn't have anyone to confide in. Sakura only trusts her younger sister, Ling."

However, An Yu quickly realized that he wouldn't get stuck on a problem for too long.

"Sister Sakura, are you interested in having more partners?"

Sakura's lips twitched slightly, but she didn't reply. She wasn't interested and felt it was a waste of time.

“We will share this sin together. I will offer you advice, and I will stand up for you when others criticize us in the future, because we did this together.”

An Yu put herself in Ying Jie's past: dropping out of junior high school, being hunted by enemies, and having her most beloved younger sister. All she had was martial arts skills. Could she really do better than Ying Jie?

Please, he's a legitimate male-oriented reader in China, and for the sake of survival, he has a very high tolerance for killing.

"There's no need. It makes no difference whether there's one person or two."

Seeing that Sakura was still reacting, An Yu reached out and grabbed Sakura's hand, not giving her a chance to escape. She held it tightly, their fingers intertwined, and then leaned in and pinned her down.

“How could there be no difference? Next time Sakura tries to kill herself, I will hold you tightly like I do now. Maybe it doesn’t show up now, but I’m looking forward to the day when I can live in Sakura’s heart.”

“I understand why Sister Sakura thinks death can absolve one of their sins. Sakura, your past is too monotonous, just like a child who always thinks of punishing self-righteous adults with death.”

“Besides your sister, Sakura’s most precious possession is this life. So the greatest compensation you can make for the sins you committed in the past is to give up your life.”

"But you also understand that your life is worthless, and death cannot absolve you of your sins. Once the dust settles on you, it is very difficult to wipe it clean."

"The cherry blossom blooming period is only sixteen days. You are long past your peak blooming season, but you are not buried in the soil, even though the current climate is no longer suitable for cherry blossom growth."

"Actually, Sakura has been waiting all along, waiting for the day when her stubborn cherry blossom will be picked, crushed and thrown into the soil, or made into a specimen and pressed in a book to be completely forgotten."

"There is another thing that is almost non-existent, but Sakura must be longing for: to have the dust wiped off, to share the dust with that person's fingers, and then to be carefully cared for, so that she can be given a new life in a season when she shouldn't be blooming, even if the probability of this is almost non-existent."

"But I know about this. It doesn't matter if the probability is low. I'll do it."

"So why can't that person be me?"

Chapter 110: The Girlfriend I Picked Up for Free (One Hundred and Eight)

Have you ever killed anyone?

Most of the time, Sakura had only one feeling about An Yu: this young master is really annoying.

Just like now, aside from saying nice things, An Yu can't do anything at all.

“I can learn.”

It's okay, because An Yu never treats bad people as human beings, and he doesn't have any normal values. Maybe it's because he's been online for many years, or maybe the two crashes changed his perspective.

cherry:……

"Thank you very much, but it's not necessary."

"You are a good person, but I feel I can't accept your kindness."

However, after being pinned down and unable to resist, Sakura realized that An Yu's eyes were very beautiful and clear, just like Ling's, and rarely hid complex emotions.

However, if a person's habits that they have maintained for so many years can be changed in just a few words, it can only mean that the person is too lacking in love. Unfortunately, Sakura is not lacking in love; she has her own sister to fill her heart.

"Sakura, you're more complicated than I imagined. You think I don't want anything in return, that I'm just indulging my own kindness and can't stand seeing tragedy?"

After a moment of silence, An Yu didn't know how to continue, since it really was true.

Sakura's problem is significant and cannot be resolved in a few words; it requires time, and a very long time at that.

"Trying to guess other people's attitudes is also a kind of arrogance. Smart people always like to do this and are smug about themselves when they guess correctly. Sakura, you are not like that, but you have also picked up this habit. You subconsciously belittle yourself and elevate me."

"But how long has it been since Sakura looked in the mirror, dressed up carefully, and appreciated herself?"

With trembling fingers, An Yu touched Ying's cheek. Her pale face made her usually cold expression appear more delicate.

"What's the meaning?"

Oh no, Sakura had completely forgotten that she was quite good-looking. The sudden change of pace threw her off balance, after all, she had never seen anyone ignore her identity because of her appearance.

"I like cherry blossoms."

"So no matter what Sakura does or says, I will not let go. Sakura is waiting for her younger sister to get married, and I will wait for that day, when I can occupy the first place in Sakura's heart."

……

"Um, Sakura, give me some reaction."

"We've only met a few times."

After being reminded by An Yu, Ying belatedly tried to find a reason, after all, it was the first time in her life that she had been confessed to, and people she knew in the past had kept their distance after learning her identity.

Moreover, most of the people she came into contact with, or the people she killed, were not lacking in women, so An Yu was quite special.

"Sakura, do you really think that just because we met by chance, I would do so much for you?"

"I'm so tired..."

But Sakura softened. After all, aside from music, Sakura's conscience leaned infinitely towards that of a normal person. She truly believed that a lover could share everything.

"Without a goal, life is very boring. Whether it's playing games or making money to support your family, people need to have their own reason for living."

"Sakura's reason is too small, so small that she just wants to watch Ling grow up safely, but what about after she grows up?"

"Sorry, I've gone off-topic. But it seems Sakura forgot that liking someone is also a reason. Emotions are the theme of life. Family love, romantic love, friendship—whichever it is, is enough."

He brushed a strand of hair from Sakura's forehead to the side and gently stroked her cheek. He wasn't going to be taken advantage of...

啊呜

"Are you really a junior high school graduate?" Her cheeks were a little damp, but Sakura didn't push him away. Firstly, she didn't have the strength, and secondly, setting aside other things, she had a pretty good impression of the young master.

"Perhaps junior high school is the purest and most empathetic age for a person. I was, and so was Sakura."

…………

After a long while, An Yu threw the disposable lunchbox into the trash can. Sakura was still sitting on the hospital bed in a daze. Everything today was too complicated for Sakura's monotonous life.

An Yu even suspected that the other person's brain had crashed.

Actually, his brain had also crashed. Sakura's logic had already confused him, and he didn't know what to do. After he finished speaking, when Sakura was still not convinced, he was already at a loss.

If he continues to follow Sakura's logic, he might come to accept Sakura's ideas. He understands how terrifying the circle of logic can be, just like the circle of cognition.

Fortunately, he is still young and has not yet lost all his dreams as he grows older, so he can be a little willful.