The Strange Adventures of Hearn the Believer

【Then I'll relax and hunt while I wait for you to bring your younger siblings home for Christmas.】

[Don't worry, by the way, Kaguya, you're playing the 92G version that just came out this year, right? I saw you mention it in your text message.]

[Yes, and it's the first-edition limited deluxe collector's edition that just went on sale today. Besides a bunch of other merchandise, it also comes with a super cool retro jade wolf dragon model. I've placed it in my room. Look, it's right to my left. See it? See it?]

[I saw it, I saw it. It's really impressive that you even bothered to go out; I remember this model was a store exclusive.]

No, how could I possibly go to the store? It was your secretary who bought it for me.

[Oh, I see... Wait, Kaguya, who did you just say bought it for you?]

[Your little secretary.]

[Where did I get this little secretary? Kaguya, what's her name?]

Charlotte Hearn, a devilish little girl with gray hair and purple eyes. I met her half a year ago when I first settled in the Far East. While you were out partying in Zurich, she took care of my daily needs. When she first introduced herself, she called herself your secretary and even showed you proof of her lineage—your blood flows in her veins. You're running a company with that Miss Lucy in Hell now, so I figured it wouldn't be too strange for you to have a secretary… Let me tell you, I really like this girl. She's smart, capable, and sensible. She's meticulous, considerate, and incredibly perceptive. I only mentioned once that a game I liked would be released today, and she delivered it to my house on time. Besides that… In short, I only let you go out partying because I know she's always by your side. Where did you find such a capable and thoughtful secretary? She's practically the perfect little cotton-padded jacket… Bro, why aren't you saying anything? 】

"...It's nothing, sister, can you do me a favor?"

【What's the matter? 】

[Help me hold off Shiki and Aoko. My divine sense needs to leave for a while; just pretend I'm asleep.]

【My foolish brother, let me warn you beforehand: if you dare to bully your little secretary, don't expect me to cover for you here.】

"Kaguya, don't worry, that child is my student, how could I possibly bully her?"

[I see, I understand, I understand. I've not only read The Tale of Genji, but I also know Murasaki Shikibu herself. The Genji Shikibu, I know, well done, brother, I applaud you!]

Kaguya, it's not what you think. All these years, I've treated that girl like my own daughter.

【I understand, I understand. The dragon slayer may become the dragon himself, but you've completely inherited the cravings of those strange aunts who wanted to raise you. No wonder that little girl even changed her surname and bloodline to match yours. It's alright, I understand. Who doesn't love a sweet, caring daughter? I take back what I said earlier. Even when Tsukuyomi was your age, he wasn't as adept as you. From overtaking his teacher to raising a student like Genji, you truly are my magnificent younger brother, surpassing your master! I'm not worried about our family line anymore. Bring that child back soon! Christmas is followed by the New Year, so I'll go prepare three red envelopes first. Go, go, go… Oh, right, bring back a girl from our hometown sometime, okay? Go find a girl from the moon; our moonlit lineage mustn't end.】

"Kaguya, did you come to save me or to torment me? Do you think I haven't been punished enough, or is your home not lively enough? Besides, there are so many moons in the mortal realm, where am I supposed to find you a girl from your hometown?"

That's your business, I don't care. Besides, I am the Moon Princess, you have to bring me back another Moon Princess.

"You... I have the Moon Princess with me right now, why don't you take a look at her? If you think she's suitable, I'll bring her back."

Oh, what a coincidence! What's her name?

【Eirin.】

[Pfft...didn't you throw her away?]

[Correction: I originally cut her into eight hundred million pieces and stuck them all over the place, but I didn't kill her. The one I encountered here is her randomly reshaped counterpart from the lower realm. She's lively and energetic, running around everywhere, and has become a gentle, jade-like, naturally alluring male fox.]

[Brother, calm down! Let's not even talk about how Yonglin is practically our grandmother's generation. Besides, even if that wasn't Yonglin, have you become so indiscriminate that you'd even go after a male fox spirit?]

"Sis, of course I'm not interested in male foxes, but that doesn't stop me from bringing Eirin back to keep you company, okay?"

【No, please don't! Just keep an eye on him, that's enough. We've been chained together for thousands of years, and now that I've finally regained my freedom, can you bear to see your dear sister return to that life of endless suffering, like being in prison? Just let him continue being his carefree man!】

"Alright, Kaguya, let's compromise. I won't bring Eirin back, and don't bring up anything about having children or finding you a Moon Princess as a sibling. I'm currently settling two old matters—my childhood and my human life—and once things are settled in Thranheim, I'll come back and fully enjoy my university life."

[Wait, my splendid brother, so you mean you can't ignore anyone from your childhood and the real world who is still alive, right?]

"Of course, but Kaguya, don't try to trick me with that. I know better than you that, apart from Aoko, there are no other living relatives left."

[Hmph, my foolish brother, so you're actually in max mode now, not max mode, right?]

Yes, I will not return to the outside until I have fully awakened before achieving balance. The burden on the form is too heavy, and I will not return until I have completely digested it.

"Then I must hurry and test you, my foolish brother. Please listen to the question."

【uh-huh? 】

[Since Eirin was reborn and broke free from her shackles because of the random number generated by your ascension and the reshaping of the lower realm, then who replaced her and was cut into eight hundred million pieces, filling a certain planet with them?]

【…】

【My foolish brother, you'd better think carefully back to when you praised Yonglin. Did you say anything strange because you were having too much fun and letting loose? I know you've always had a bit of a jinx, and on the eve of your ascension, your words became law.】

【Oops! 】

Do you remember now?

[...Sealed within the earth/Gaia, the Moon Princess lost her memories...When eight hundred million secret letters/physical bodies gathered, she awoke from eternal slumber/time stop...This is the urban legend I left behind when I disposed of Eirin...]

【My dear brother, good people should be rewarded, and innocent people can barely be considered good people, right?】

"I understand. After the Thranheim matter is settled, I will begin investigating this old matter. It was a sin I committed when I was still a sage, and naturally, I must atone for it while I still possess sagehood."

Eight hundred million copies! You've got a lot to find now...

……

Chapter 151 The storm is coming

Under the blue moon, the women's tea party continued.

Amidst the sea of ​​flowers, the believer gently closed her eyes and quietly fell asleep.

This was the result of his discussion with his wise older sister, and also stemmed from the unspoken understanding between the two siblings.

From the moment they met and recognized each other, the siblings have never betrayed each other and have never let each other down.

Indeed, the few people here have never strayed from each other since the moment they met and got to know each other, and have never let each other down. That is why we have this tea party interlude among the flowers.

Just like in the Emerald Dream, where the fledgling, still-naive magician leaves a gentle admonition on the title page for the equally naive dragon—

You cannot shirk responsibility, even if it means suffering.

We cannot run away from reality; we must face it squarely.

Even in the darkest night, one can occasionally see the stars.

Surely, in the long journey through the thorns, some priceless treasure must have been left behind?

The old friends chatting idly among these flowers at this moment, aren't they the stars that the dragon saw when he was a penniless boy in his childhood, walking alone in the dark night, and happened to look up?

Having traversed the thorny thicket with integrity, and after a long yet fleeting period of time, he has arrived at this day in the darkness with a clear conscience. Just as the magician had said, he has successfully preserved "a tiny, invaluable treasure" by tightly guarding it in his hands.

Standing in a corner of the sea of ​​flowers, the believer gazed at her elder sister, who was meticulously hosting a tea party, and the two irreplaceable girls from her past, and couldn't help but feel a surge of emotions.

With a heart full of gratitude for the beauty of the world and a sense of fulfillment and healing, the shy boy smiled and retreated into an invisible rift leading to an unknown destination. Looking back, everything seemed to shine like distant stars until the rift completely closed.

He closed an invisible rift, just as he closed a door to home.

When the last ray of warm light disappeared behind the tightly closed door, he abandoned his tenderness and transformed back into that mad actor, into that unflappable—lunatic—who remained unmoved even when the sky collapsed before him.

Beyond the crack lies a world where darkness and brilliance intertwine, a radiance cast by a star-like lower realm.

That invisible rift was like an invisible curtain. Looking in from outside the curtain, there was nothing there. Only when you stepped behind the curtain and were inside could you see the starry sky. No, rather than seeing the starry sky, it was more like being inside the starry sky.

Behind the curtain lies a boundless corridor, beyond which stretches a dazzling galaxy.

A woman with the elegant, curled horn of a Capricorn was waiting in the corridor. When He emerged from behind the curtain, she smiled gracefully and bowed respectfully amidst the myriad stars.

"I have come by imperial decree. If I have disturbed your enjoyment, Your Majesty, I hope you will forgive me."

He stood silently in place, staring at the woman with her lush, verdant hair for a while, until the dark halo of truth above her head began to spin rapidly due to unease and reached its critical point. Only then did He break his silence and, with a rather wicked sense of humor, begin to bring up old grievances.

"Instead of giving me this nonsense, you should settle my bills first—you still owe me 18 months of pianist's wages, Azazel."

The shy boy among the flowers is gone; among the stars, only the roar of the evil dragon remains.

"Oh, boss, why are you bringing up that old story about how I was so blind to mistake you for a sex therapist? I'm so embarrassed!"

"Then tell me how you plan to compensate me, Azriel."

Mr. Hearn turned and smiled slightly at the devil who was standing a step away from him, looking as innocent as a pure young man who had been taken advantage of by a ruthless madam of a brothel.

"I'm all set, meow." The demon named Azriel lay down gracefully on the spot.

"Hiss—why are you all lining up to mess with me today? Stand up, you haven't gone far yet, my wife will misunderstand." Mr. Hearn gasped, looking utterly shocked, as if he had seen a ghost.

"How heartless, meow."

"I think tacitly allowing you to spy from behind the scenes is already quite humane."

"Hehehe, I just happened to catch a glimpse of your very rare profile. I feel so happy that I could die without regrets. Why don't you just kill me while you're at it?" The devilish lady, who had followed closely behind, stood up and smirked with satisfaction.

"First of all, I don't think this is anything shameful. Secondly, if I were to silence you, wouldn't that be exactly what you want?"

"Not at all, I just miss Iota and want to go to your heart to keep her company."

"Then they figured out where I was skipping work, and they'd come looking for me every day, whether they had something to do or not, right?"

"Haha... How could that be, meow?"

"Never mind, you seem to be in a good mood, which means the family's revenue has been pretty good lately."

“My dear boss, now that you’ve said the word ‘home,’ Lucy can finally relax. Ever since your bet with the other chief executive started, our ‘home’ chief executive hasn’t had a single good night’s sleep. I’m going to record this conversation and take it back to help her de-stress and sleep. Boss, you won’t mind, will you?”

“I don’t mind… no, so none of you have any faith in me?” Mr. Hearn stopped in his tracks.

"It's not a matter of confidence, but rather... please help me organize my thoughts, meow." The black-winged unicorn monarch gestured, then paused, seemingly searching for a concise description.

"what ever."

"Got it, meow!"

"uh-huh?"

"【Homegrown flowers are never as fragrant as wild ones】, I'm just worried that you might take the wrong turn on your way home from your long trip and end up in heaven, meow?"

“When I say ‘home,’ I mean hell, not family. My home is behind that door. What are you talking about here, spouting nonsense? Are you deliberately trying to mess with me, Azriel?”

"I understand, I understand. That is the softest corner of your heart, a warm and loving home, full of ups and downs, a place you will always cherish. It is the harbor of your childhood where you rest, where the flawless moonlight and gentle tides lull you to sleep. But you can't stay in the harbor forever. Beyond the harbor lies the vast ocean, and isn't there also a boundless silver sea in your heart? You were born to be a child of the sea, destined to roam the stars. How can you stay in the harbor of your childhood forever?"

"Why do I feel like you're subtly criticizing me for something?"

"No, no, how could I presume to presume? I only beg you, boss, not to forget that we are still waiting for your return in the mortal world. Iota is still keeping watch for you in the Twilight Tomb! You may treat me like an old lover and neglect me, but you cannot treat Iota like a passing cloud! She was the gentle breeze that accompanied you to sleep every night during the time when you lost your moon—I still remember your heartbreaking appearance in the shop when you first drowned your sorrows in alcohol, living a life of drunken debauchery. Even the melody you played on the piano was as gentle and sorrowful as the way you stroked my back. Wine can ease the pain but cannot ignite the fire in your heart. When Iota entered your world, took you to see the sunrise and sunset in Gomorrah, and pulled you into the hellish mortal world, I saw light in your eyes for the first time."

"It sounds reasonable, but something feels off. Oh well, it's rare that I haven't added your weird verbal tic. And don't think I'm heartless—I will always take responsibility for what I've tamed, so don't worry about Iota. I'll bring her back after the bet is over."

"Great! And what about me, meow?" Miss Devil breathed a sigh of relief, then pointed to herself, her eyes filled with hopeful little stars.

"Huh? Weren't we talking about Iota? What does this have to do with you?" Mr. Hearn tilted his head, looking puzzled.

"Hehehe, boss, what if one day those two boss ladies suddenly discover that your 'cat-hate syndrome' is no longer real and has quietly healed? How would you explain that? That was your childhood trauma! Although smoking and drinking can heal the soul—but you don't smoke, you only drink. The medicine is missing one ingredient, so the effect isn't very good... Oh right, one of them almost found out just now, but luckily you managed to fool them with your impromptu performance. I understand, I understand, you can't possibly—" The devilish lady deliberately dragged out her words, leaning closer and whispering in his ear.

"You can't possibly mean anything?" Mr. Hern was in a great mood today, so he let her stand still and listened attentively to what she was trying to say.

"—You can't exactly tell them that it was because you experienced the wildcat's charm and allure that you were cured, can you?"

"..."

"Meow~"

Mr. Hearn pondered for a moment, his gaze briefly shifting between the alluring face before him and the curtain that had approached earlier. Then, ignoring the ambiguous expression on her face, he turned and walked away into the depths of the starry sky without changing his expression.

"Give me this year's financial report. Also, stop dawdling. There's still a long way to go, Azriel."

"Yes, boss."

“Speaking of revenue, it’s a pity I came in such a hurry that I didn’t bring my camera. Otherwise, just taking a picture of you looking like an innocent young man would have easily boosted our year-end sales,” Azriel said regretfully.

"If you want to take a picture, you can just use any spell to create a photo," Mr. Hearn said, glancing sideways.

"Don't dare."

Miss Devil's response was a crisp and decisive shake of her head.

"Then why are you still using my skin?"

"I was feeling very uneasy. I had just finished dealing with today's documents in my office and was about to leave. I had just invited a few of my girlfriends to go out for a drink when I heard that you, Boss, had summoned me from the mortal realm. That's why I rushed over here without even having time to change my clothes. You can see for yourself."

After saying that, Azriel spun around in place, revealing her red and black office lady outfit, while her illusory black wings emitted particle-like radiance that scattered among the stars.

“My wife asked me why I played the piano in the brothels of Gomorrah. All the brothels in Hell are your property. She can find out with a simple search. Who else would I name if I didn’t mention your name? Also, don’t imitate my sister’s verbal tic. Your style doesn’t suit this.”

"Ah, then I deserve to die even more, for forcing you to reveal my despicable name during your romantic moments. I imagine this has earned you the displeasure and discomfort of that proprietress, causing you to miss your chance with her. I am truly terrified—by the way, she must be the Miss Tian Lanlan whom you carefully imprisoned... ah, ah, ah, the one you so fortunately protected in Office 77, right? I still remember that for over a year, every day after you closed your piano lid, you would transform into an ambitious mortal and go to Office 77 to check on her well-being, only to be torn apart and kicked out by that kind-hearted Miss Tian Lanlan, who saw you as an evil schemer..."

"You'd better keep this to yourself. I can turn a blind eye since you're always the one who cleans up my messes."

"But besides my subordinates, Iota was also in charge of collecting the bodies."

"First of all, Iota has successfully brought about her own downfall, taking those secrets with her to the Twilight Tomb. Secondly, my agent is much more discreet than you are."

“Iota is the agent of [Messiah], but Azriel is also the patron of [Messiah]! You take charge of the stage performances, and the two of us take charge of the operations. We are the invincible golden triangle that sweeps across heaven and hell!”

“Miss Sponsor, Mr. Messiah has already held a retirement ceremony called ‘Funeral.’ Please don’t bring up the whole bunch of nonsense he made up with you two during that year when he was heartbroken and lost all hope in life. It will cause unnecessary misunderstandings. If it gets back to his family, and the great landladys make him go to the rooftop to stand in the northwest wind, he might go insane in the cold wind and come back to the outside to kill you.”

"I couldn't ask for more! It would be my honor to be the Messiah's cat in the Sea of ​​Time, meow! I can't wait to die and be with Iota in my heart, and then after I'm reborn, I'll run to that coy, pretentious little bitch Lucy and show off, and see her envious, jealous, and insane expression, meow! Hurry up and strangle me, hurry up and strangle me, hurry up and strangle me, meow! Yes, yes, yes, hurry up and do it, meow! More intense! More intense, meow meow meow!"

Mr. Hearn withdrew his hand halfway through his outstretched hand in an instant.