The Strange Adventures of Hearn the Believer

[It's so noisy! Why are you suddenly shouting so loudly?]

I bumped my little toe on my way to the restroom.

Please accept my condolences. I hope you didn't break any bones.

If it breaks, just replace it; it's not a big deal.

What a convenient woman you are, both mentally and physically.

"If you ever lose an arm or a leg, you can come find me, just be prepared for a huge financial blow. Okay, I'm fully awake now. So, what do you want from me in the middle of the night? Hern."

Two things. First, like last time, help me draw a design. I have a friend who's not good at this; she can only offer ideas. I'm worried that her drawings will be a disappointment when they're actually implemented.

[Last time it was that Far Eastern Shrine, what's it this time? Seriously, are you really treating me like a civil engineer?]

[Senior, aren't you the most talented woman in our architecture department? Besides, I've heard you're skipping grades to start your PhD next year. I'm just here to congratulate you, bring you money, achievements, and thesis materials, keeping the good stuff in the family!]

"Now you're not treating me like an outsider, are you? Why didn't you treat me like family when we were inventorying the Cold Mountain Secret Order's assets in Turku last month?"

A woman who demands 70/30 of the bill is not fit to be my wife.

[That saint's shroud from the ruins excavated in Turin the month before last]

"Didn't I already give it to you? The mystery left by that tattered rag isn't even as strong as my bed sheet. If you want it, come to my house and drag a bed sheet around; it'll be much more effective."

The month before last

[Go on, if you dig up old grievances again, you'll find you still owe me a favor.]

[Hmph, I remember that time in the Arctic Circle and the North Sea. The first thing was to draw up the design plans, which I accepted. The second thing was to wait! Hearn, your scandal has broken out? The entire Pan-European University Alliance forum is full of news about your 573 ship jumps. Nearly a thousand people involved and even more onlookers are searching for you all over Zurich with their weapons.]

That's enough! I don't want to hear it for the thirty-eighth time.

[I see. So you simply went to the deepest Hive to relax. Your mansion has an extremely sophisticated barrier; no one will be able to find your hideout.]

[The house has been empty for a long time and it's gotten dusty and hard to clean. Could you perhaps help me with that when you have some free time?]

"Sure, as long as the compensation is enough to entice me."

[Just kidding, don't be angry. I wouldn't let a talented woman like you waste your precious time doing something as lowly as cleaning empty houses. What did you just say?]

I said yes, as long as the compensation is enough to entice me.

Wait a minute, what did you buy recently?

Two weeks ago, there was an auction of Mayan artifacts in Buenos Aires, and I couldn't resist buying some on a whim.

After exposing those cult lunatics from the Cold Mountain Secret Order, didn't we split the profits 50/50?

Because he had ample funds, he was eager to acquire the items and bought five collectibles in one go.

You didn't leave yourself much money, did you?

Yes, as things stand, it will likely only last two weeks at most before it has to declare bankruptcy.

【goodbye. 】

[Wait a minute, Hearn, I didn't come away empty-handed in America—I found a way to bypass the overt regulations and enter Yellowstone Hive in North America. How about we go for a trip to Yellowstone National Park before I go bankrupt?]

【make a deal. 】

[Ha, as decisive as ever. As expected, Hearn, you're a romantic adventurer at heart.]

I don't deny that, but there are other reasons as well.

【for example? 】

For example, I'm about to confess my feelings to someone right now. If I succeed, I'll be a man who has to support my family from now on, so I won't let any opportunity to earn extra money slip by.

Cycas revoluta blooms

【What did you just say, senior?】

[It's nothing, I'm just sincerely congratulating you, Mr. Hearn, on finding true love after just standing up 573 girls to go on a trip.]

[I haven't even succeeded yet and you're already making sarcastic remarks about me?]

【what? 】

This is the second thing I've come to you about. I'm almost there, but I'm stuck. Help, senior!

【puff】

[So that's how it is. You caught that woman you mentioned in Beihai, the one who would disappear with a gust of wind.]

【Yes. 】

[What? I thought you were just having a fling while on the run, picking a random wildflower and jokingly calling it true love. Turns out it's a real case of an iron tree blooming—a once-in-a-lifetime event!]

"Okay, please continue."

Even your tone of voice has changed. Looks like you're really getting serious now.

So I need some advice.

[Hearn, what you need isn't advice, but someone to talk to. You need someone rational enough not to stir up trouble or cause chaos, preferably someone of the opposite sex with plenty of dating experience.]

That's why I contacted you in the middle of the night, senior, even though I had no idea it was the middle of the night where you were.

The first part of the judgment is completely correct, so where does the final criterion come from?

【Hmm? Senior, aren't you always followed by a swarm of admirers? From octogenarian gentlemen to handsome young men in their twenties, rich old men want to talk to you about philosophy, middle-aged dignitaries want to discuss their knowledge, young talents want to discuss human nature, and teenagers want to sleep with you】

[Stop! Stop right there! I admit I'm harassed by a bunch of guys every day, but I'm clearly the victim. Why does it sound like I'm some kind of 'womanizer' coming from your mouth?]

[Senior, aren't you a sea queen?]

【Oh? Hearn, do you mean you think I'm not ladylike enough on the inside?】

[Haha, senior, you do look quite ladylike when you wear glasses.]

"Can I pick it now, Hearn?"

For the sake of this important life event, please be patient until I hang up the phone.

【Tsk. 】

"Senior, only you can help me right now. After this is done, not only will the matter from Beihai be wiped clean, but I'll also owe you a favor."

"Your favors are quite valuable, Hearn. I'm starting to wonder what kind of femme fatale could have bewitched you like this."

[She's not some femme fatale, just a good woman I would regret for the rest of my life if I didn't marry her.]

[Hmph, men and women have different perspectives. Your vision is already clouded by an emotional filter. Fine, I'll try to profile her surface personality. You pick some key points and talk about them.]

Hearn

Is there any result yet?

Let me ask you a few questions first.

"Okay, go ahead."

[Hearn, are you conscious? Do you remember your family's names? Do you remember my name?]

【Of course I remember! I mean, my mind is absolutely clear, you don't need to doubt it at all!】

Why would you fall for a woman with such a terrible personality, almost to the point of being mentally unstable?

Don't think I won't beat you up just because you entered school four years before me and are a brilliant girl!

【Hearn, calm down! The personality profile I completed based on your description shows—this is a strange woman who is extremely self-centered, extremely rational, extremely insecure, highly aggressive, completely inconsiderate of others' advice, and even inexplicably harbors a detached, bystander mentality.】

【That's absolutely right, you're right.】

[Hearn, wake up! Are you under some kind of enchantment spell or something?]

【Too late! I was hooked on her fourteen years ago. Now that you mention it, I did wonder if she gave me some kind of hint back then, making me practically uninterested in girls for the next fourteen years. But that's impossible, because she was a magic idiot back then, knowing nothing but magic manipulation. Such sophisticated hints would have been too early for her! Besides, even if it were true, I wouldn't care! She's already slipped through my fingers twice. Now my heart is roaring like an engine, and I only have one thought in my mind—this time, I absolutely have to bring her home for Christmas! Absolutely!】

【Hearn, I have fully received your determination. So, please calm down, and let's continue.】

Thank you, senior.

[You're welcome. Let's continue. As I just mentioned, she's an extremely self-centered woman, like the wind, never settling down for anyone, and for some reason, she possesses a detached, observer-like mentality. Simply put, in her view, most humans aren't even the same species as her. This doesn't mean she harbors malice towards humanity as a species, but rather refers to an extremely simplistic inequality in their social standing. To give you an example that might help you understand better, have you seen *Back to the Future*?]

[This is a 1985 movie, you've actually seen this?]

The fact that you know this is a 1985 movie means you've seen it before.

Yes, I quite like old movies.

Okay, then it's easy to understand. It's like a time traveler looking down on an ordinary person; the woman you're infatuated with probably embodies that kind of observer quality.

[Very vivid and engaging, thank you for your explanation of the old movie. I understand it completely now, so what's next?]

[Now for the important part, which is also the most unbelievable point in my opinion. Seriously, it's so outrageous that I almost want to take off my glasses and change my mind before continuing this discussion.]

Please, I'm begging you, hold back!

Okay, the most important and most unbelievable point is—such an impeccable woman, a woman with an EX-level difficulty level for winning over, was actually driven to the point of obediently waiting for your confession, even with no time limit. Hearn, how did you do that? My curiosity is about to explode! Can I take off my glasses?

[Senior, you're like my own sister, okay?! I'll transfer the money left over from that time with Leng Shan to your account right away, consider it a dating advice fee!]

Okay, Hearn, let's continue.

【Tsk. 】

Actually, putting aside the many suspicious points about this strange woman, things are quite clear at this point—Hearn, you're almost there.

Of course I know.

[Hearn, it must be because you did something, something you spent a considerable amount of time doing, sowing the seeds and reaping the harvest, that you moved this woman and earned her long-term expectation and waiting for you. A chance encounter couldn't possibly affect this woman's rationality. She's the kind of oddball who can easily suppress emotions with reason, the kind of oddball who won't see those she dislikes as enemies, but instead sees those she likes as enemies. And the reason is very simple—she sees those who disturb her feelings as enemies.]

I understood this a long time ago, please continue.

So, isn't the rest quite simple?

【Um? 】

[What a frighteningly rational woman! Most women in this situation would only ask a man if he loves them or likes them, but what did she ask you? When, where, and why did you fall for her? She even broke down the questions meticulously, indicating that she didn't want a purely emotional either-or answer, but rather a real, formulaic solution, like a math problem.]

In other words, if I give a liberal arts-style answer like "You don't need a reason to love someone," "Because she's there," or "I was born to meet her," it'll immediately be Game Over, right?

That's exactly right.

Thank you, senior. I think I've found the answer.

"You're welcome, Hearn. As I said, she's an extremely rational woman. The fact that she asked you that means she already knows you can definitely answer correctly. Otherwise, she wouldn't have stayed and waited for you; she would have disappeared with the wind, just as you said."

[A word from you is worth a thousand words, senior. The relationship counseling fee has arrived; I paid double. The Yellowstone trip is tentatively scheduled for after Christmas. You'd better quit drinking for the next two weeks and get your body in top condition.]

[Don't worry about the performance issues. More importantly, Hearn, like I said earlier, I'm really curious about what kind of person this wonderful woman you're so infatuated with is. Since you're determined to bring her home for Christmas, I'll take the opportunity of offering Christmas greetings and pay her a visit. You won't mind, will you?]

No, as long as you can shake off those unwanted suitors and not ruin my Christmas mood, that's fine.

"No problem, it's a piece of cake. But, Hearn, how about you act as my shield from now on?"

[It's a small matter, but why me? Senior, you need to think this through. If I'm used as a shield for you, then all the criticism I've given away to those 573 girls will fall on you.]

【Isn't this a perfect case of two negatives making a positive? Besides, I think you're the perfect fit right now, Hern.】

【reason.】

Firstly, since you happen to owe me a favor, this is a good way to repay it, isn't it?

【Well, then what? 】

Secondly, if it were someone else harboring illusions, they might become smug and self-satisfied while using someone as a shield, eventually becoming one of those philanderers. But Hearn, you're different. I originally thought you were a dissolute playboy, but I never expected you to be so pure and devoted. Adding to this the fact that I'm providing you with relationship counseling, from now on, we're both completely and 100% safe accomplices to each other.

You've convinced me; I'll take the job.

[It's a deal. As for the design, once your girlfriend has sorted out her inspiration, hand it over to me. I will meticulously complete the entire design from a professional perspective while preserving the inspiration. Don't worry, I definitely won't let you work for nothing.]

[It's a deal, then I'll leave it to you, senior. I'll transfer the payment for the design to you later.]

[Wishing you success in your confession, Hearn. See you at Christmas.]

Thank you for your kind words, Sister Liuding. See you at Christmas!

Chapter 145 Princess, Hero, and Dragon (Remaining Chapter)

It was night, and the moon was high in the sky.

Aoko nestled amidst a sea of ​​flowers, entrusting her weight to her back, and focused intently on writing and drawing in her notebook.

She also really liked the warmth from behind, that sense of mutual reliance and connection.

The writing became increasingly aimless, and the lines drawn became increasingly chaotic.