Mygo, you guys seem to be getting a bit heavy-hearted.

Chapter 85 Black Hole VS Su Nuo.

Su Shi stood in her place in the rehearsal room, smiled gently, and said, "Xiao Deng."

Four words immediately flashed through Deng's mind.

Just like when we first met.

But she knew it was just her imagination. During this time, both Su Shi and she had changed a lot.

Deng Xin knew that everyone was very saddened by Crychic's disbandment.

Su Shi was the one who was the saddest.

That "mother" who always faced them with gentleness and tolerance had eyes that were more vulnerable than anyone else's.

Su Shi is crying... even now, she is still crying.

Those sobs and heart-wrenching cries are imprisoned in the cage of that beating heart, with nowhere to escape.

...the light can be heard.

"Su Shi...so pitiful."

Her words immediately stunned Su Shi, who was trying to strike first.

Then, Su Shi realized that she couldn't continue like this, because this was her last chance to revive Crychic.

Although she suspected that the bassist might be sabotaging things, she would do everything in her power to fight for it as long as there was even a glimmer of hope.

...I don't want to be left behind anymore.

Su Shi put on her usual smiling face as a disguise, but in Deng's eyes, this smile was actually riddled with holes and leaked air from all sides...

Such a disguise, if it were Xiao Le Nai, she would probably see through it at a glance... but I, it seems, have only just discovered the truth...

I'm so sorry... Su Shi, I've made you bear this all by yourself for so long.

However, everything is alright now.

I'm coming to "rescue" you right now...

"Xiao Deng, let's sit down and have a proper talk..."

"Soyo, I don't want to play in a band anymore."

Playing in a band is exhausting.

too heavy.

Even the light only made me feel physically and mentally exhausted.

"...Huh? But Little Light, Crychic can't be without a light... Without Little Light, I..."

“Crychic is now a memory, Su Shi.”

Deng took a few steps forward until she stood in front of Su Shi, looked up into her eyes, and said, "Even if you're unwilling... memories will only fade away with time."

"But we were really happy back then, weren't we? When the five of us were together, we were all very happy, watching the band gradually get on track... Weren't those times wonderful?"

"But this isn't what Su Shi really thinks, is it?"

The lamp looked sad, and before Su Shi could start picking at her nails again, she grabbed her hand. "If that's all there is to it, then... even without Crychic, it can still be done."

If playing in a band is just for fun, then of course there's no problem.

But... happiness isn't the only reason for band members to come together.

“Su Shi, it’s definitely not just because you’re happy with being in a band that you want to revive Crychic so much… I know that.”

Therefore, she was even more determined not to let Su Shi have her way.

If Su Shi were to discover that the Crychic she painstakingly rebuilt was just an empty shell with only a name... then Su Shi and everyone else would definitely find it unacceptable.

We must not let that happen.

Crychic belongs to everyone, and we shouldn't let it be transformed into a prison that binds our souls by selfish desires... It should simply be a beautiful memory, and its best ending should be a complete conclusion!

Su Shi needs to realize this.

But... how should I bring it up?

If Mr. Yanming were here, he would definitely know what to do.

But what if Mr. Yanming really was here watching me...?

"Little Lamp, believe in yourself. If you can't do it, try to believe in me who believes in you."

Her hero... would definitely say that to her.

I am so incredibly weak.

Lacking courage, hesitant and indecisive, even a gust of wind can affect her thoughts... Why should someone like her be trusted?

It's practically impossible to find an answer to this question right now.

The lamp possesses a voice that can penetrate the souls of others, yet it cannot find its own shining point.

Those who know her are struggling with how to tell her this.

Su Shi did not deny it: "...You've been seen through, Xiao Deng. When you were in Crychic, you always noticed details that others missed."

"I have no idea……"

"You are like a mirror. When people look at you, they will see their clumsy selves from the past... Such a little lamp really makes people want to protect it from the bottom of their hearts, and I am no exception."

Su Shi's hair had come undone during her escape, and despite all this time, she hadn't tied it up again. Now, as she lowered her head, her long hair obscured her dazed eyes.

“I truly consider everyone in Crychic as my most important family member… I can’t live without Crychic…”

Su Shi knew in her heart that even if what she was saying was not false, it could still be called a "lie".

She deceived the lamp.

Beneath the disguise lies an even deeper disguise, one she believes even Xiaodeng wouldn't be able to detect.

She does treat everyone as her closest people, but all of that... is based on the fact that Crychic still exists.

"Mr. Sushi..."

Just as Su Shi had imagined, the lamp was indeed moved. At this moment, if she went a step further, became even more despicable, and deliberately squeezed out a tear or two...

"But even so, Crychic can't come back."

"……Eh?"

Su Shi's words caught in her throat, not because of Deng's words, but because of her own reasons.

She discovered that her eyes seemed to be damaged. No matter how she tried to cultivate her emotions, the corners of her eyes remained frighteningly dry, and not a single decent tear could flow.

The prepared explanation could not be uttered because the tear ducts failed, and the lie could not be maintained.

With her terrifyingly accurate intuition, she only needed a moment's hesitation to realize that what she had said earlier was nothing but a word game, thus catching her out of her trap on the spot.

She failed.

But Su Shi couldn't understand... why she failed?

Has she run out of tears?

That's impossible. I just had a breakdown and cried my eyes out tonight.

Is it because her body is resisting the tears?

This claim is obviously unreliable. The lacrimal glands usually only need to be stimulated by a certain amount of emotional excitement to control the flow of tears.

Unwilling to give up, Nagasaki Motoyo shakily raised her hand and straightened the hair that was partially obscuring her vision.

She saw it.

She got it.

The pity for himself in the lamplight.

It was that pitiful yet caring pity that made Su Shi's tears too heavy to fall.

"Su Shi... you can't fool me, so stop fooling yourself too."

Chapter 86 "A Shocking Kneel"

"I didn't lie to myself!!"

Even Nagasaki Motoyo herself didn't believe it.

She was able to shout at a companion she once cherished with such a hoarse tone.

But this anger, as seen through the lamplight, still appears feigned.

The real Su Shi, from the moment she entered the door, hid herself, hoping to be found by her.

"Little lamp."

Su Shi felt her throat go dry and hoarse, and even the words she spoke were tinged with bitterness, "You came here just to tell me that Crychic is completely finished? If so... then you succeeded, you did it..."

"not like this……"

"What is that! What exactly is going on?!"

"white……"

"Why are you always like this? Why are you all always like this! Nobody can talk things out... and nobody is willing to consider my feelings!"

The lamp, which was only a little over 1.5 meters tall, had no chance to struggle in the hands of Su Shi, who was a head taller than her. She grabbed her shoulders and excitedly pressed her against the wall, causing her back to hit the wall hard.

"Well...it hurts..."

The lamp emitted a painful groan.

"...!"

Su Shi stared unsteadily at the lamp she had pushed against the wall, then stared at her hands in disbelief.

That's not how it is...that's not how it is!

She cherished the little lamp.

She had no intention of harming her companion.

She didn't... she really didn't...

"..."

There's none?

the answer is negative.

If her previous anger was a pretense, then this time, that pretense can no longer serve as her excuse.

Because this is the real her.

A selfish, indifferent, aloof, hypocritical, violent, impulsive, cowardly, and shameless person.

She'd been pretending for so long that even she'd almost forgotten...

And she even had the nerve to criticize others for not caring about her.

The truth is... I don't deserve to be cared for, I don't deserve to love or be loved...

Even if Crychic were to be resurrected, so what?

All they need is this fake smile and my insincere care for them.

...The real self is still "unneeded by others".

"Xiaodeng...are you alright? I have some band-aids here...and some wet wipes and a handkerchief...Does it hurt? Can I take a look...I've done this before...I can also...I...I..."

A flower bud that thinks it's ugly.

When it first blooms, it is no different from any other flower.

"Please, don't be afraid of me... don't abandon me... I'm very useful... really... I... Little Lamp... sob sob..."