Toyokawa Shoko doesn't want to become a witch

The Tale of Nirvana: Keeping Your True Self: Chapter 94 The Ronin

"Those people in nightclubs live a life of debauchery day and night. Those who become addicted are even worse. They slowly degenerate into people who cannot live without addictive substances. They are thin, haggard, and withered."

Mary's tone was as flat as a stagnant pool.

"Actually, I realized a long time ago that I'm no different from those people in nightclubs. Even if I do nothing, I still need to use the Seed of Lamentation every two days. I just purified it this afternoon, and after playing cat and mouse with you guys for a while, it's half full again."

Mary took a deep breath and exhaled the air that had been trapped in her lungs.

“If I could, I wouldn’t want to do this either. You haven’t experienced what it feels like to be chased by death, you can’t understand.”

Of course I know, of course I understand.

How could I not know?

The feeling that the filth in the Soul Gem could not be reduced no matter what, the feeling of being chased by despair.

The idea that "if I could, I wouldn't want to do this" is all nonsense.

I run all over the reed fields every day, risking my life, just to survive.

You sit here reaping the benefits and still say things like, "If I could, I wouldn't want to."

That's so selfish.

Xiangzi really wanted to say it.

However, Mary is just a stranger. Just because she is willing to open up to him doesn't mean he should open up to her.

Even if people understand each other, they may not necessarily agree with each other.

Xiangzi had more things he wanted to know.

"No, if you've been like this all along, why have large-scale events only started recently?"

“Because it’s true that large-scale activities have only recently started,” Mary said with a smile. “I told you before that the highest production could reach ten Seeds of Lamentation a day, right? When do you think that ‘highest production’ happened? A long time ago?”

Mary's smile sent a chill down Xiangzi's spine.

She unconsciously squeezed her thighs together, subconsciously wanting to get further away from the nun.

But she quickly abandoned the idea.

She couldn't afford to appear weak in front of this woman.

After a brief analysis of Mary's words, the brain quickly arrived at a conclusion.

"They were the two days when the two bank robberies happened, right?" Xiangzi stared at Mary with his golden eyes. "Both bank robberies were prey acts of your familiars that you orchestrated."

“You guessed right, you are indeed very smart.” Mary licked her lips.

"However, if you only recently started this large-scale expansion, it means you weren't so... desperate before."

"This..."

Mary squinted, turned her head, and spoke with a hint of playfulness in her voice.

"It's all Hailing's fault."

=========

Miaomeng was lying on the sofa, her lower body had fully grown back, and she was now naked from the waist down, with her legs crossed, scrolling through her phone.

Hailing lay on the sofa with her eyes closed, resting.

The sound of running water could be heard from the bathroom.

"Hai Zi, the contract you signed with Xiang Zi is practically a contract of servitude," Miao Meng said abruptly. "Before, you wanted to protect Mary and the people in Kabukicho, but after finding out that Mary is the real culprit, is it still worth it?"

Even if Mary is broken, there are still those people in the church, for them...

"For them, you're going to sell yourself to Xiangzi?" Miao Meng's lips formed a W shape, her voice no longer feigning seriousness. "What if Xiangzi wants you to die? If you die, how will you take care of the people you want to take care of?"

"..." Hai Ling was silent for a moment, then asked in return, "And what about you?"

“I have common interests with her, we’re birds of a feather, you know? Birds of a feather.” Miao Meng’s voice returned to its usual tone.

"Then she probably won't let me die."

"Sigh, didn't you say anything at all?"

Hailing opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling.

“‘Everyone can only accompany you for a part of the journey. Your parents may not be able to accompany you any longer, and so will I. Sooner or later, we will have to part ways.’ These are the words the nanny said to us on our first day at the orphanage.”

Hailing said softly.

"Parting is a natural part of life."

“No wonder I always felt that Hai Zi, you had a kind of light and airy feeling about you,” Miao Meng said.

"Maybe," Hailing said noncommittally.

"Then why a samurai?" Meow Dream asked again. "A magical girl's transformation appearance is determined by herself, so why did you choose to become a samurai?"

"Not a samurai, but a ronin."

"Is there a difference?" Miaomeng tilted her head in confusion.

"A wanderer has no home, and his life is a constant drift."

"Those are all artistic representations. In reality, there are no ronin like Miyamoto Musashi, Tsubaki Sanjuro, or Himura Kenshin... But it does fit the previous statement quite well."

Miao Meng murmured wistfully.

"Everyone can only accompany you for a part of the journey... That's a really good sentence."

Hailing propped herself up and looked at Miaomeng.

There were things in Miaomeng's eyes that Hailing couldn't understand.

"What's wrong?" Hailing asked.

"What's wrong with me?" Miao Meng pointed to herself with amusement. "Nothing's wrong with me, what could be wrong?"

“Back to you, Hai Zi.” Miao Meng shook her head and smiled as she steered the conversation back on track. “In the end, why do you care so much about the identity of ‘ronin’? It sounds a bit like a child’s cosplay.”

“It’s somewhat similar.” Hai Ling did not deny it. “When I was homeless, I spent most of my time in bookstores. The shop assistants usually didn’t say anything because I was young.”

Hailing blinked nostalgically.

"The first book I came across was a comic book."

"Don't tell me you've decided to become a ronin samurai after reading some manga." Meowmon turned around, draping a towel over her waist to cover her bare lower body. "Let me guess, is it *Rurouni Kenshin*, *Gintama*, or...?"

“The protagonist of ‘Vagabond’ is Miyamoto Musashi.”

"Sigh—it really is true. I've seen the movie version starring Toshiro Mifune." Miao Meng rested her chin on her hand, raised her other slender finger, and pointed at Hai Ling. "You're just like me."

"The same?" Hailing tilted her head.

"Pretty much the same, isn't it? Things you see by chance when you're a kid can really influence your whole life." Miao Meng sighed, recalling with nostalgia the time she used to borrow (steal) DVDs from video stores. "Although I'm thinking of letting it go now."

“But I survive because of it,” Hailing said.

"Survived?"

"Although wanderers lead a life of constant travel, they have their own principles, dignity, and beliefs. Only by upholding these can wanderers avoid losing themselves in their wanderings and avoid becoming desperate."

"If I hadn't stuck to my inner beliefs, I might very well..."

Hailing turned her head and looked out at the dark night sky.

"She colluded with those people and became a witch."

The Tale of Nirvana: Keeping Your True Self: Chapter 95 Big Sister

"You... it's because of Hailing that you...."

After hearing Mary's story, Xiangzi stared at her blankly.

It turns out that all of this was inextricably linked to Hailing from beginning to end.

“I originally didn’t intend to do anything to Hailing. If you hadn’t gotten involved, she might not have found out so soon.”

Mary sighed.

"I don't want to talk about Hailing anymore. You can ask her if you have the chance."

"It's late, and we have church service tomorrow morning, let's turn off the lights."

Xiangzi turned around, jumped off the bed, knelt down on the makeshift bed Mary had prepared for him, and looked up at her.

Why are you willing to tell me so many secrets?

"Just pretend I've had no one to confide in for a very long time. Hailing will definitely be there as promised for tomorrow morning's service. At that time, it will be either me or you who die."

"You are the only person I can tell everything to."

Mary looked up at her, as if remembering something, and leaned closer to Xiangzi's face.

"Besides, you're different from Hailing; I'm liking you more and more."

Xiangzi shifted back a little uncomfortably.

“What’s different?” Xiangzi asked.

"There are so many differences between you two. You have nothing in common. You are smart, bold, and ambitious."

Mary leaned close to Xiangzi's ear and whispered.

"Most importantly, I can see that you and I are the same kind of people, people who will find all sorts of nice excuses to survive."

“I won’t resort to any means necessary like you.” Xiangzi proudly raised his head and met Mary’s eyes.

“That’s not necessarily true. I’m usually pretty good at judging people,” Mary chuckled. “Maybe you’re saying you won’t, but you’ve already done it.”

"What do you mean by 'Yinglingqi private teacher Wuliu'?"

Xiangzi inexplicably thought of another version of himself, and that strange dream.

“What I mean is, your hands aren’t any cleaner than mine,” Mary said coldly. “If not now, then sooner or later.”

Xiangzi turned his gaze away.

I happened to see another version of myself sitting at the desk, legs crossed, and I greeted her.

“You’ve met some interesting people,” Toyokawa Shoko grinned. “Don’t forget to let me do any dirty work when needed.”

Has he already accepted that he might do something very outrageous?

Or... she already did it, but she doesn't remember?

Oblivionis hung over Xiangzi's head like a persistent, dark cloud.

She suddenly fell silent, lost in her own little world.

Mary watched as Xiangzi's indignant expression suddenly turned calm, and thought that if this girl became a magical girl, she would definitely be the kind with a serious illness.

She got up, walked to the light switch, and prepared to turn off the light and go to sleep.

--"elder sister......"

A slight vibration came from under the bed, and the little girl's voice floated out from there.

Mary lowered her head.

Xiangzi and Fengchuan Xiangzi also looked in the same direction as her.

With a rustling tremor, a soldier ant crawled out from under the bed. It was smaller than a normal soldier ant, but it had already begun to show signs of metamorphosis.

The sound came from it, from the mouth hidden beneath the jaw clamps.

The soldier ants turned their heads, countless eyes looking in Xiangzi's direction, then at Mary.

"Sister... will I get better...? You said... you'd definitely get better... right...?"

Mary walked up to the familiar, knelt down, and gently stroked its head.

In the center of its compound eyes, there is a mask that is growing out.

"He's a malnourished child," Mary said with a sigh. "I hope you can successfully become a witch."

Xiangzi's pupils trembled violently.