Toyokawa Shoko doesn't want to become a witch

The sunlight outside the window bathed the room in a warm hue, and Xiangzi's hands unconsciously rested on the piano keys, playing one classical piece after another.

It seemed like she hadn't played the piano so relaxedly in a long time.

The joyful notes danced on the piano keys, and Xiangzi's distracting thoughts temporarily disappeared, allowing him to focus all his attention on playing the instrument.

She seemed to have rediscovered the version of herself that could happily play the piano and enjoy music.

When the song ended.

Xiangzi let out a long breath and put his fingers down from the piano keys.

A round of applause came from beside me.

Deng sat to the side, clapping for Xiangzi like a little animal.

"You played so well, Xiao Xiang."

"Huh?" Xiangzi blinked, confused. "I remember I was just on the bridge... how could this be..."

The next instant, she found that her surroundings had changed again.

This time, it's in RiNG's recording studio.

Xiangzi found himself standing at the door, soaking wet, and the gaze shining from the recording studio made him feel a burning heat.

She bit her lip and turned around.

Rumble.

The train made a rhythmic churning sound as it passed through the gaps in the tracks, and the ground shook along with the sound. Xiangzi found herself holding a phone with a cracked screen, the lit screen displaying the witch-slaying commission she had just accepted.

Candy

Just as Xiangzi clearly saw the information on it, the surrounding sounds suddenly disappeared.

She seemed to have returned to that vast, empty hall, where everything was just a blank white expanse.

"Welcome back."

Oblivionis crossed his arms and stared at her expressionlessly.

"Where...where am I...?" Xiangzi raised his head in confusion.

"This is an extension of reality, the deepest part of memory, the deepest part of dreams."

"Dream?"

“The source of the witch’s barrier is dreams, so the witch’s barrier is equivalent to the witch’s dream, chaotic and disordered, rooted in the dreams of the subconscious,” Oblivionis explained slowly. “We are now in the deepest part of dreams, beyond time and space.”

"Shouldn't I be dead?!"

“In the next layer of the dream, which is the surface of the barrier, we are at the moment of death.” Oblivionis raised his eyes and looked at Xiangzi. “Only in the moment when the most extreme emotions arise can we touch the deepest part of the dream.”

"Was this also part of your plan?" Xiangzi looked at her warily, trying to recreate his weapon and continue the fight.

However, no matter what they did, the weapon did not appear.

“It’s no use. Force can’t solve our problems.” Oblivionis sighed. “How can we possibly resolve our own internal conflicts through force?”

"Then what do you want?" Xiangzi hugged his right arm and took a step back.

"Let's talk."

Oblivionis extended her hand, inviting Xiangzi to join her.

Come on, let's walk around.

Xiangzi hesitated for a moment, but finally followed.

The moment she took her first step, the scenery around her changed.

The sky turned a thick, blood-red color, and the sun was obscured by a shadow, leaving only a hazy outline of light. Xiangzi stood high in the sky, looking down at the ground. The buildings in the reed plains seemed to have become toy-sized sets.

"Wow--!"

Xiangzi fell to her buttocks and landed in mid-air. It was as if there was an air floor underneath her, allowing her to float in the air and not fall down.

"Where...where am I?!"

“This is what the real world looks like now.” Oblivionis stood to the side, brushing his wind-blown hair behind his ear. “You said before that you didn’t have the leeway to think, do you have it now?”

"what does it mean!"

"It means that we—"

A white shadow rose behind Oblivionis, obscuring the blood-red sky and looming over Xiangzi's head. Empty, bright golden eyes stared directly at Xiangzi and Oblivionis.

"—It will bring destruction to this city."

"The barrier is invading reality. When it fully invades, everyone you know and everyone you don't know will be assimilated into the barrier. At that time, there will be no more boundaries between reality and the barrier, and everything we touch will be part of the barrier."

Xiangzi looked into that eye, which was taller than himself, as if he could see the possible future through it.

The crimson sky spread outwards from the reed plains, eventually dyeing the entire land crimson. Countless witches, large and small, strong and weak, no longer hid in their small corners. The whole world became a world of witches' rampage, a witches' feast.

By then, there will be no more living humans. All the magical girls will be accelerated towards their doom, and everyone Xiangzi knows will perish in this apocalypse...

"I don't want to..."

Xiangzi felt his limbs going weak, and cold sweat dripped down his forehead.

"I don't want to become like this..."

"If you don't want to become like this, then die."

Oblivionis threw the M1911 with its ivory handle in front of Xiangzi.

"As long as we die, no one else will be killed."

"But..." Xiangzi clutched his head, kneeling on the ground, his voice so faint it was almost inaudible to himself, "I've failed so many times... I still want to live..."

Perhaps, even she herself doesn't know what she's saying anymore.

“Live on, but what are you living for?” Oblivionis walked to her side, knelt down, picked up the pistol from the ground, held it in his palm, and lowered his eyes.

"for......"

What is the purpose of living?

Do we want to go back to those days?

If she destroyed everything, what could possibly allow her to return to the past?

She didn't want to be the one to destroy the world.

I don't want to destroy everything I cherish.

I don't want to live in this world all alone.

But if she were to end it all... then...

Xiangzi finally realized that she had been blindly moving forward on a dead end. Her cowardice and selfishness had led her to a point where she had to sacrifice everything just to survive.

Living now has no meaning other than simply surviving.

What should I do then...?

Who can tell me, I paid the price, I betrayed the world, I betrayed myself, I betrayed my soul, when I gave up everything... what did I have left?

Xiangzi suddenly understood.

It's bett to burn out than to fade away.

Rather than lingering on in vain, it is better to burn brightly.

But it turns out that she had already lost even the meaning of living, and even the last flame, weaker than a candle, had been extinguished, and the embers of the fire no longer existed.

Click.

Oblivionis felt her hand being grasped; Xiangzi held her hand that was holding the gun, raised the muzzle, and pointed it at her forehead.

Xiangzi held Oblivionis's left hand with both hands, as if in prayer. She opened her empty eyes, and two lines of tears slid down her cheeks.

"Let me die."

The Tale of Nirvana: Maintaining One's True Self: Chapter 148 Born as One

Xiangzi waited for Oblivionis to pull the trigger.

But for a very long time, that moment never came.

Oblivionis's trembling hands, Xiangzi's hands pleading for atonement, were grasped by another pair of warm hands.

The lamp appeared beside them without them noticing and gently held their hands.

"That's enough."

The lamp spoke softly.

"Stop pushing yourself too hard."

Rumble————

The resounding booms, which they had heard countless times, came from an unknown distance, getting closer and closer to them.

at last......

===========

Xiangzi vaguely felt the ground shaking.

It wasn't very intense, but rather a rhythmic, subtle swaying and vibration, just like... sitting on a train.

What happened again...?

Xiangzi frowned and slowly opened his eyes.

That wasn't it...

The shimmering sea came into view, and the setting sun hung just above the horizon, turning everything in sight into a dazzling golden hue.

This is the light rail train that circles the city inside the barrier. What Xiangzi sees is the side facing the sea.

Oblivionis sat in a chair facing away from the sun, looking hazy and unreal.

"Actually, you yearn to go back to the past even more than Nagasaki Motoyo, don't you?"

"......Um."

Xiangzi curled up into a small ball on the cold, empty tram bench and mumbled something.

"Maybe."

The head, tucked between the arms, revealed only two eyes.

“I long to go back to the time when my mother was still alive, I long to go back to the time when we could still be together in Crychic…” Xiangzi said softly, “Maybe I just want to live in the past.”

Living in the past...escaping from any future I don't want to face...

"I'm just...that cowardly..."

“No, I think,” Oblivionis said, sitting across from Xiangzi in a slightly hoarse voice, “you just don’t want to face your good side. You use your cowardice and obsession with the past as an excuse to punish yourself, to punish the self that made that wish.”

“...That was a mistaken wish,” Xiangzi said.

"When you make a wish, your intention is genuine."

"But the result was wrong."

"Does the fact that the result was wrong prove that your idea was wrong? Does it prove that your efforts were meaningless?" Oblivionis curled his lip. "Don't blame yourself for doing the right thing, you bastard."

"Big principles," Xiangzi said, pulling his knees back and turning his head away. "Big and empty."

“Ah, that’s true.” Oblivionis ruffled his hair in frustration. “I’m not very good at talking.”

She stood up angrily, one hand on her hip.

"Never mind, I'll go get something. You wait here."

"What?"

"take things."

"Get what?"

"You'll find out later."