Toyokawa Shoko doesn't want to become a witch

She mustered all her strength, walked to the living room, and collapsed onto the sofa.

The room was dark and empty, with no one in sight. Xiangzi lay on the sofa, covered his forehead with the back of his hand, closed his eyes, and let out a long sigh.

The sun was no longer visible outside the living room window; only a sliver of golden light remained in the sky.

Xiangzi stared blankly out the window.

It feels like I've been forgotten by the world.

she thinks.

Did I have another appointment?

Xiangzi blinked, barely straightened up, and his gaze fell on the small medicine box on the dining table, and a note underneath it.

Xiangzi picked up the medicine box and glanced at the label.

This wasn't the usual bipolar disorder medication she took; it was a medication for treating depression, and it came in different types.

Where did it come from?

Oh, and there's another note.

Xiangzi picked up the note.

I have a fan meeting to attend tonight, so I can't be with you. Sorry.

Yesterday, Mu said you had arranged to meet, but you didn't come, so I told her you were sleeping.

Actually, you slept for two days.

Strictly speaking, it can't really be called sleeping. Sometimes you're clearly awake, but no matter how I call you, you don't respond.

I asked the doctor what to do about my current mental state, and the doctor said it was a severe case of depression. So I went to the hospital and got some medication for depression. Whether you want to take it or not is up to you.

Besides that, regarding the gathering, Miaomeng has been keeping an eye on it. She said she hasn't seen any activity from Yuxi these past two days, so you can rest assured. Even if there is some activity, they probably won't come knocking on your door.

You're pushing yourself too hard. Take a good rest. Whether you give up or not, wait until you feel better before deciding.

The first bloom remains.

Two days?

Xiangzi's pupils shrank.

I've actually been lying in bed for two days?

Xiangzi hurried back to his room and found his phone, which had been rolled into the blanket—it was out of power.

Charge your phone and wait two minutes before turning it on.

She went to see the lantern's live performance on the last day of the two-week period, which was Saturday. That night, she returned to Chuhua's house and fell asleep at some point. When she opened her eyes again, she seemed to have talked to He Mu about something, and then fell asleep again. According to Xiangzi's sense of touch, she should have woken up that afternoon, which was Sunday afternoon.

But the date on the screen is Monday.

The feeling of being abandoned by the world intensified once again, to the point of overwhelming her.

A throbbing headache was eroding her consciousness, her brain was becoming unable to think, and a feeling of drowsiness was washing over her again.

Chu Hua said this is a reaction to depression?

Xiangzi thought slowly.

Good things haven't happened these past few days, but bad things have been coming in pairs.

Mu sent himself a message.

【睦】：祥，I will also take Su Shi to the pine forest to wait for you today.

[Mu]: Su Shi said she would wait until you came.

"what......"

It seems I should still attend the meetings I missed.

Her throbbing brain made it almost impossible for her to think.

In this state, let alone meeting someone, she even has difficulty leaving the house.

Maybe we should just cancel? I wasn't planning on giving Su Shi a friendly look anyway.

But harmony...

Xiangzi lowered his lifeless eyes, glanced at the box on the table, and swallowed hard.

She picked it up, opened the box, and saw that the red and blue pills were separated by a divider in the middle of the box.

Next to the note Chu Hua left behind was a doctor's note that briefly explained the effects of the medicine.

The blue pill is a drug that completely suppresses emotions, allowing depressive moods to be suppressed so that the patient can act like a normal person. Not only will the patient not become depressed, but they will also be in a state of sanity, neither happy nor sad, and unwilling to think, becoming like an obedient robot.

But even without emotional fluctuations, being like a robot is better for those around them than lying in bed like a useless person because of their emotions.

The red pill is a drug that stimulates the brain to produce dopamine, a neurotransmitter that induces feelings of excitement, thereby suppressing depressive symptoms.

The problem is that the brain becomes more active due to the secretion of dopamine. Instead of becoming a robot, the patient may do many things that ordinary people cannot imagine. The red pill is dangerous to people around the patient, so the doctor specifically wrote "Not recommended" on the red side of the box lid.

Blue or red, or even eating nothing at all, the choice is entirely up to Xiangzi.

Xiangzi stared at the medicine box for a long time, unsure if he was even thinking about it.

Finally, perhaps influenced by the last vestige of her stubbornness, she picked up the red pill, poured a glass of cold water, and swallowed it.

Toyokawa Shoko leaned against the wall, silently watching Shoko.

"It seems I'm no longer needed."

She shrugged.

===========

The hands of the clock are moving.

As the sun set behind the mountains, the sky turned a dim cobalt blue, with layers of thin clouds resembling a palette of colors, displaying a magenta hue that complemented the sky.

When the clock struck seven, Xiangzi arrived at the fountain in the center of the park.

The fountain is located on the outer edge of the pine forest.

His unfocused eyes stared at his distorted reflection in the ripples of the flowing water. Although his feet still felt like they were walking on cotton, Xiangzi felt his thoughts slowly returning.

I'm starting to be able to think about more things.

About Nirvana, about gatherings, about oneself.

"—Xiao Xiang?"

Just as Xiangzi was thinking about various things, a familiar voice came from behind him, a voice he hadn't heard in a long time.

The voice of Motoyo Nagasaki.

Thank you for agreeing to meet me today.

Xiangzi didn't turn around; he was still thinking about his own things.

Su Shi didn't pay any attention.

"Please don't be angry with Xiao Mu. I begged her to come see you."

"I'm sorry, I really want to apologize to you face to face."

"Whether it's the things I couldn't help you with back then, or what happened the night before last."

"It was such a big deal, yet none of us tried to stop you or help you. By the time we saw the news and realized what was happening, it was too late."

"I hadn't originally planned to play that piece..."

"I'm so sorry, we must have hurt you..."

"You're just pretending to care about me, Nagasaki Motoyo."

Xiangzi turned his head to the side, his bright golden eyes coldly looking at Su Shi.

"It's absolutely disgusting."

She said it bluntly.

The Tale of Nirvana: Keeping to Your True Self: Chapter 128 You and I are the same, only thinking of ourselves.

At first, Xiangzi didn't hear what Su Shi was saying clearly. She didn't even notice that Su Shi had come. The first word that reached her ears was "I'm sorry".

I'm sorry I couldn't help you.

I'm sorry, I didn't take care of your feelings and they were like spring shadows.

I'm so sorry, we must have hurt you.

sorry Sorry sorry.

sorry?

What's the point of apologizing? Does apologizing even help?

It was as if a string in Xiangzi's head had snapped, and anger surged out like boiling water.

Normally, she would never be that angry.

Moreover, given how down she's been these past two days, she probably doesn't even feel like being angry.

Ah, so this is the effect of the red pill?

Xiangzi's breathing became rapid, and she took a deep breath.

Really...

It's as if it's come back to life.

"You're just pretending to care about me, Nagasaki Motoyo."

Xiangzi turned his head to the side, his bright golden eyes coldly looking at Su Shi, a sarcastic smile playing on his lips that he himself didn't even realize was on full display.

"It's absolutely disgusting."

Su Shi's expression visibly changed, and before she could speak, Xiangzi continued.

"What you want to do is your freedom, please do as you please, just don't drag me into it."

"!"

Su Shi took a step closer.

"But! But I did it for Crychic, for you—!"

That's enough, forget about it.

Her mind was boiling, and Xiangzi blurted out the words she had thought about but never said.

Is it fun to always act like a dog?

Toyokawa Shoko stood quietly beside Mutsu, watching Shoko's performance from a distance with her.

Yes, acting.

Xiangzi felt like he was standing on a stage.

The whole world has become excessively vibrant.

"—Why! Why do you say we should forget? We were so harmonious back then, happy every day, all together. Even a witch couldn't stand in our way. We could have solved problems as long as we were together. Suddenly we've all gone our separate ways. It doesn't make sense! It's so strange!"

Su Shi couldn't believe that Xiangzi had said those words. She forced a smile and tried to move Xiangzi with her memories.

"It was Xiao Xiang who said that, the band is a community with a shared future!"

destiny......

Do you know what fate is? Is there anyone who can share the burden of my fate?

Xiangzi unconsciously clenched his fist.

"Do you know what fate is?" she asked calmly. "Do you know what happened to my family, and what happened to me?"

"At Xiao Xiang's house—"

"Whether you know it or not, I'm putting my words here." Xiangzi looked coldly at Su Shi, "Crychic is destroyed and there is absolutely no possibility of it being revived. Is that enough for you to give up?"

She waved her hand dismissively, as if shooing away a fly, and sighed.