I turned reality into a romantic comedy

But just as if he were going to fight the other side, Chen Junqian also took his phone out of his pocket, glanced at the names in his contacts, and then called one of them directly.

"Hello, Uncle Yu, are you off work yet? This is Chen Junqian."

"Just got off work, do you still need to introduce yourself? Do you think I can't recognize your voice? What's up with the call? Are you unhappy with the land allocated by the city, or is there a problem with your business license?"

"No, the location is great, and there are no problems with the business license. I estimate that it will be able to open smoothly before the Chinese New Year next year."

"That's great. After all, it's the first offline flagship store of the Three Fierce Dogs brand in Guoning. A lot of people are watching it. If you need anything, just call your uncle."

"Yes, but there are other things to take care of today."

"Tell me anything that your uncle can help with."

“My grandma was doing well selling vegetables at the Dahai Farmers Market, but now suddenly someone is trying to get her. The other party is probably a stall owner in the same market, and he has a cousin who works as a supervisor at the Dahai Farmers Market.”

“Oh, is that so? Then this involves unfair competition. Here, I’ll give you Lao Guan’s phone number. He’s the deputy captain of our city’s comprehensive law enforcement team.”

"Okay, thank you, Uncle Yu. Now you can rest?"

"It's okay, we'll invite your Uncle Zhang to have another meal together next time."

"Yeah, bye."

After hanging up the phone with the director of the Guoning Market Supervision Bureau, whom he had met through some company-related issues, Chen Junqian turned around and called back the deputy captain of the comprehensive law enforcement team.

However, Zhen Guanxi thought he was just putting on airs. After making a call to his cousin, he stood there with his arms crossed and sneered. But less than ten minutes later, he received another call that made him break out in a cold sweat on his shiny bald head.

"I'm so damn pissed off! What the hell did you make me offend? I just led my men there and got stopped by the deputy captain of the city's enforcement team. My supervisory duties have been suspended, and your shop in the farmers' market has had its business license temporarily revoked because of product quality issues. I'm so unlucky to have you as my cousin. I'm not going to get involved in your mess anymore."

After being humiliated by his own cousin, Zhen Guanxi, who had just been arrogant and haughty in Zhu Wenjun's eyes, seemed to have lost his backbone. His entire back was soaked with cold sweat in the air-conditioned registrar's office. It took him a while to recover from his dizziness, and he gave himself an awkward smile, slapping himself twice.

"Ha, I was out of my mind just now, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Grandma, it's not good for you to get angry at your age. You are a magnanimous person, let's all calm down."

As he spoke, he turned around and pulled his daughter, who had been standing there with him, chest puffed out, out of the way. Pointing at Zhu Wenyun, who was standing there, he said sternly:

“Apologize to that little girl. How can you bully people at school? Is this how your father teaches you at home? She wasn’t hitting you today; she was saving you. Even if your father had been there, he would have spoken up for her.”

The girl still couldn't understand why her father had suddenly become like this. She even forgot to pretend to cover her face and just stood there for a long time without saying a word. As a result, she was scolded again.

"Apologize! Did you hear me?"

Startled again, she was almost forced to speak to Zhu Wenjun by her father's fierce face, revealing a smile that was more like a grimace:

"Yeah, sorry."

"Remember to say something to the girl who is being bullied too."

The main issue was that Zhu Wenyun seemed equally clueless, so Chen Junqian thought for a moment and then added his own comment before turning to look at the school staff who were now completely absorbed in watching the drama unfold:

"They've already apologized, so is the matter considered resolved?"

"Ah, of course, I'm sorry to have taken up so much time for everyone. It's good that things were resolved smoothly, but I also hope that this kind of thing will not happen again in the future. Our school will also strengthen ideological education in this regard."

Zhu Wenyun's pen stopped at this opportune moment.

She actually knew that Chen Junqian was involved in a very large business, but before today, she had never imagined that he could so casually display a side of himself that she had never seen before, as if they were from completely different worlds.

That's why she could barely say a word at that moment. She and her grandmother were just standing behind the boy. When she came to her senses, the boy was being forced to apologize to them.

Zhang Xinghuo, who is now considered a successful entrepreneur, often mentions an incident from twenty years ago in interviews. At that time, he was an unemployed person wandering the streets. One day, his cousin took him to spend three thousand yuan in one day, and then he stood on the side of the street and washed his hands with mineral water that cost three yuan a bottle. Next to him stood a man in his forties or fifties waiting to pick up their bottles.

Zhu Wenyun certainly didn't want to be the one waiting to pick up the bottles.

She wanted to stand alongside him, to walk alongside him, to have his name on the same line in the book of destiny, to become whole, to become utterly whole, so that she could illuminate everyone around her, illuminate the entire city.

Guoning is a very small city in the world, and very few people know about it.

...It's not difficult.

P.S.: Thank you for reading and subscribing.

PS2: The move is over, and I will resume evening updates starting today.

Chapter Twelve: The So-Called Internet Joke Teller (Part Two)

After the unexpected incident with Zhu Wenyun came to a close, Chen Junqian was finally able to refocus his attention on the club affairs he had been longing for. This past weekend, after inviting the three girls he had arranged to meet in his room, he began to play the role of a teacher giving a public lecture, posing questions to the three girls sitting in a row who, to whom they had absolutely no idea what this currently nameless club was supposed to do:

"In 2012, what do you think is the best way to develop a club from scratch?"

"I know!"

The first to raise his hand was naturally Lin Mu, who always gave his childhood sweetheart face. However, he had probably thought about this issue carefully at home recently, and his words were quite reasonable:

"Dad said that the most important trend right now is the Internet, and he's hoping I'll major in computer science in college."

As someone who was brought to the forefront of the internet era by Chen Junqian, even though Lin Mu himself only had a superficial understanding of this subject, he could still glean some key information from listening to his parents' conversations.

"So I think the most important thing for our club is to first create accounts on various platforms, such as QQ and Weibo."

“That’s right, the internet is very important. After all, if we can’t attract any attention online, all our efforts in this small place like Guoning will be in vain. As for the account, we’ll create one in a bit.”

After highly praising Mu Mu's main points and guidelines, Chen Junqian wrote the words "Internet" on the whiteboard behind him with a marker.

What comes to mind when you think of the internet combined with community organizations?

"Webcomics? Isn't U17 quite popular lately? And there's even a chance it'll be adapted into an anime. '100,000 Cold Jokes' is pretty funny, and its viewership is ridiculously high. They've even gotten Jay Chou to promote it recently."

While Xu Youwei absentmindedly continued to look around the room, trying to figure out what Chen Junqian and Lin Mu's recent interactions were based on the extra or missing decorations and ornaments, she casually gave this answer.

"Online novels? But I'm not very good at writing the kind that requires daily updates."

Zhu Wenyun's train of thought was somewhat led astray by Xu Youwei, and she quickly shook her head and denied it after she finished speaking.

"No, no, what you two are talking about are things you can do on your own. There's no need to start a club for that. I already know what Qianqian is thinking. The answer is actually hidden here."

As he said this, Lin Mu, brimming with confidence, pointed to a brand-new camera placed on the table outside the living room.

"Qianqian wants to film a web series! I just watched the first and second seasons of 'The Swindler' with him a couple of days ago, right?"

In response to Mu Mu's question, Chen Junqian could only offer an awkward yet polite smile:

"I might try it in the future if there's an opportunity, but it's definitely not possible now. After all, the four of us are in a predicament of having no script, no actors, no cinematographer, no director, and no funding, so let's put it on hold for now."

The current time is indeed a good time to shoot web series, because around this time next year, the web series called "Unexpectedly" has already proven with its popularity that the model of short duration, low cost, and humorous and nonsensical commentary is indeed feasible.

"Of course, what Mu Mu said is actually very close to the answer."

If Chen Junqian were to define the internet trends of the period from 2012 to 2014, he would probably call it 'humorous,' or to put it more bluntly, 'funny.'

Whether it's this year's "100,000 Cold Jokes", or "Rage Comics" which launched as an app last year and started sweeping chat groups with abstract emojis this year, as well as next year's derivative "Rage Big Event", and the "Unexpected" series he just mentioned, they all demonstrate this point.

Just like how elementary school students' QQ spaces are always filled with compilations of jokes and anecdotes, and how various funny game moments are popular on Aipai, humorous and hilarious content always has the largest audience in this new era of the internet.

"But whether it's web series or other video content creation, well, we definitely don't have the technology or the resources right now, and nobody has any experience in this area before."

"However, this does not mean that we cannot create content. After all, video has never been the only form on the Internet that can be read and shared in large quantities. What we need to do is to go back to the most original form of text and images."

"Then, first become a super joke writer who can continuously produce content, one of a kind on the entire internet."

This is the most suitable path for Chen Junqian's current situation and has been proven feasible by time. The person who has taken this path to its peak is a Weibo blogger who brought countless joys to Chen Junqian's student days in his previous life. He is also the only blogger that Chen Junqian can remember who the creator is after reading his jokes.

The other person's name is 'Genius Little Panda'.

However, Chen Junqian's thoughts had just begun when he was pulled back to reality by his childhood sweetheart's question.

"So what is the name of this club?"

This is Mumu, who feels like she listened but not quite, still preoccupied with the club's name.

Xu Youwei and Zhu Wenyun, who originally wanted to ask a few more questions about the specific procedures and details, were almost instantly drawn in and began to chime in:

"Indeed, let's decide on a name first."

"I also think it's better to choose a name first."

...So this is really the focus?

Chen Junqian could only facepalm at this. After all, in his mind, the name was the least important thing. He was preparing to register a legitimate literary society with the school, the kind that would publish an internal school publication. But the girls seemed unusually persistent. It felt like if they discussed it any further, it would turn into discussing the logo after discussing the name, and then discussing the party... cough, the meeting place—purely superficial work.

"In order to facilitate dissemination, it is best not to be too long. It just needs to be catchy and memorable."

Considering that three of the four of them use their real names as internet nicknames (Xu Youwei has changed her real name), and the only one is 'Senmu' who is neither understood nor appreciated without explanation, it's impossible to come up with a good idea. In the end, all we could hear was Mumu enthusiastically suggesting, 'How about we call her Senmu?'

"If all else fails, just use random. Has anyone ever played those word-making games where you shuffle together adjectives and nouns that are supposed to match, and then you can pull them out and they turn into all sorts of abstract and funny combinations, like 'round and smooth Jingting Mountain' or 'the lost sun'?"

If it weren't for two people who kept disagreeing with using Senmu, Chen Junqian, who had been suffering greatly, would have already agreed. In the end, after thinking about it, he still made this suggestion, which was not really a suggestion, and handed over the name of his future internet account to Tianyi.

"so be it."

"Indeed, I'm too lazy to think about it anymore."

"...Senmu is clearly easy to remember."

After a series of actions, Chen Junqian, under everyone's watchful eyes, selected one set of adjectives and one set of nouns from the dozens of slips of paper that the people had just scribbled on, and then combined them together:

"Hmm—a silly Snickers, so who wrote Snickers..."

"I actually won! I just randomly wrote down the snacks I ate yesterday, but there was actually a whole bunch of 'Jumping Banana Milk Six Walnuts' in there..."

Although everyone felt a little conflicted about the name that was ultimately chosen, it was a decision that had already been made, so they temporarily agreed to it and then enthusiastically registered a new account on Weibo and entered the nickname.

"Since it's our club's public account, we can set the password to something that everyone knows, so everyone can log in anytime."

Upon hearing the mention of passwords, Zhu Wenyun's eyes lit up immediately. After all, she genuinely wanted to know Chen Junqian's QQ password so she could secretly log in and check his chat history with Shen Nianqiu someday. So, after hearing Chen Junqian say this, she immediately handed him her phone.

"If you're in charge of the club, then you can come up with the password."

She had thought it through clearly. Many people use the same password for all their accounts, since it's too easy to forget different passwords. Elementary school students also have a lot of different accounts, such as QQ, 4399, and MiMi accounts. If Chen Junqian is also one of them, then she can give it a try.

Lin Mu and Xu Youwei were unaware of Zhu Wenyun's thoughts. The former simply leaned over to inquire what kind of password Chen Junqian would use, while the latter idly blew on a few strands of hair that had fallen across her forehead until Chen Junqian spoke next, at which point she suddenly snapped to attention.

"Let's use the initials of our names: me, then Mu Mu, then You Wei and Wen Yun. It's easy to remember and not easy to be stolen."

"Ah, um, it's fine."

Following the others' lead, Xu, who had set all her account passwords to CJQ5201314, blinked as she watched Chen Junqian type in the initials of her name, already wondering if Qinqin's password would be the same type as hers.

5201314.

I will love you forever.

This is probably a homophone that anyone can see.

But just like the writing on the walls, it needs to be hidden again, hidden even more...

----------------------------------

Since they had already decided to do this kind of content, Chen Junqian had naturally already thought about what their first skit would be like and how to create it. However, because the process of coming up with a name took longer than he had imagined, he could only give a brief explanation of what needed to be prepared before announcing the disbandment. Students' weekend time was very precious, and they also had to consider catching up on their homework.

Regarding the club activities, Chen Junqian was prepared to handle both aspects from the beginning. After figuring out the inner layer, he also had to deal with the outer layer, which was the literary club that he had mentioned to Zhu Wenyun before.

After all, if you were to find the most common and easily accepted club among teachers and students on campuses in China, the literary society would indeed be the one that is flawless in every aspect. The cover of the magazine "Fireworks" even features the slogan that it is jointly recommended by a hundred middle school literary societies across the country.

To be honest, if Zhu Wenyun were at Guoning Middle School, Chen Junqian could have directly asked this provincial first-prize essayist to come forward. However, she has already been to Hejin Middle School, so for now he can only take matters into his own hands. After all, in terms of literary creation or essay writing, Mu Mu and Youyou are really not reliable at all.

However, Zhu Wenyun herself was certainly unaware of these intricacies; all she could see was that Chen Junqian was willing to participate in the essay competition with her again.

"This year's finals are in Hefei, so I can go with you again. It's been almost two years since we last competed together."

In her mind, if Chen Junqian were willing to show his true abilities, he could compete for not only the first prize in the provincial essay competition, but also a competition of the level of the New Concept Essay Competition.

"Indeed, I had completely forgotten that so much time has passed since you mentioned it."

Chen Junqian, who only applied to establish a literary society in order to have a pretext and identity, was of course unaware that Zhu Wenyun had already placed him on a pedestal in her heart, and soon asked about the aftermath of the previous bullying incident.

Guoning is a small city, so even the kind of development in similar literary works where "the next day, so-and-so transferred schools" won't happen. After all, there are only two middle schools in Guoning, and any further transfers would have to be to the countryside or surrounding areas.

It was precisely because of this that the parties involved remained in the class after the incident ended, but their attitude towards Zhu Wenyun underwent a complete 180-degree change.

"But there are indeed some strange rumors, like my family is very powerful and has a lot of connections, or that I have a very powerful and influential relative..."

"What?"

"Boy friend."

Chen Junqian heard the girl say this on the other end of the phone.

Zhu Wenyun has always hated gossip. Even when she was in elementary school, she was so afraid of it that she would cover her face completely with a book every time she rode in her grandmother's tricycle.

But she finds herself reluctant to deny these rumors.

P.S.: Thank you for reading and subscribing.

PS2: The various joke images of Genius Little Panda are very long, and Shuke can't post them all. If you're interested, you can search for the collection online. The joke about Snickers is a parody of the joke by Bilibili joke uploader Doubi's Nestle.