Witch Troupe and the Undead

However, because they devoted so much time, money, and energy to poetry, literature, parties, salons, and beautiful young women, many of them couldn't even ride a horse without the help of servants. To fit their thick bellies, they had to make their armor look like onions—although onion armor is indeed incredibly defensive, that wasn't the reason they chose it.

Honestly, nobody, especially thieves and bandits, wants to fight against a group of guys who are armed to the teeth, whose armor is so thick that they can't be effectively damaged without heavy hammers. Especially since these guys, because of their low combat strength, love to call on their friends and their armed servants.

While these gentlemen may be obese, lazy, and easily defeated, their heavily armed retainers are all professional warriors recruited from the Northern Plateau, who have been learning various weapons and combat skills since the age of seven.

The thought of having to fight those professional warriors from the northern plateau with knives if the train crosses the bridge is enough to make most people's legs go weak. Especially since these lords are rich, they can afford to support spellcasters. You might also encounter a spell attack equivalent to the firepower of a single 75mm infantry gun. Even if you're lucky enough to encounter a lousy guy, it's still at least a grenade launcher.

"So, you understand now? We must intercept our target before reaching the bridge."

"Won't those knights cross the bridge?"

“No,” the man said confidently. “They will absolutely not cross the border, not only because Grand Duke Fross is their nominal lord, but also because… crossing the border would cost them money, and the Grand Duke’s men are very envious of them.”

Catherfield County is a place rich in resources, producing dairy products, wheat, and vegetables. The amount of butter it supplies to the capital alone is not small. However, it is no match for Silver Maple County next door, which produces luxury consumer goods, such as perfumes and wines, which are necessities for the aristocracy.

Besides perfumes and wines, their territory is covered with silver maples and vast flower fields used for making perfumes, and they also produce maple syrup and honey, both of which are very expensive.

It's easy to imagine how much money these knights would be extorted from them to get back home if they crossed the border into the nominal lord's territory without permission. So, they would try their best not to cross the border—at least not rashly, and at most send their men to take a look.

[Imperial Political Jokes]

The economics of iron foundry workers' funerals

"Why is there a steam valve welded to the inside of my father's coffin?" the orphan sobbed, pointing at the coffin.

"To prevent him from being forced to sign a 'Voluntary Overtime Agreement' in heaven." The pastor sprinkled molten rock powder onto the coffin: "This month, the church has a new service: carving miniature octagonal cages on tombstones, ensuring the deceased can legally beat up the finance minister reincarnated as a cockroach in their next life."

(According to the Funeral Subsidy Ordinance, the volume of a coffin is proportional to the number of times the deceased reported their companions during their lifetime, and the most luxurious models are equipped with adjustable groaning mourning gears.)

Chopping wood, feeding horses, no world travel: Imperial joke time

I found that the news generated by the AI ​​was funnier than the jokes. Seriously, I had it generate a few short news clips to use as interludes in my reading later, and it generated a bunch of extremely humorous jokes for me.

1. Follow-up to the East District Steam Hub Explosion

The wrench makers who survived yesterday's explosion received a letter of thanks from Parliament, praising them for "proving the scientific validity of the boiler pressure threshold with their blood and flesh." It is understood that the compensation will be distributed in the form of "Glory and Progress Bonds," with a total face value of 500 gold coins, redeemed on the condition of "witnessing the victory of the next Finance Minister in a duel."

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2. New rules for noble duels spark controversy.

Parliament passed the Octagon Economic Revitalization Act, stipulating that civilian challengers must prepay 20 years' worth of wages as a "social mobility guarantee fund." Dockworker Pete questioned, "This is equivalent to asking sparrows to mortgage their wings in exchange for the right to fly!" The sheriff immediately dragged him to the dueling preparation camp on the spot for "insulting the national bird symbol."

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3. "Ghost shifts" appear in the Magic Core Factory

Several night shift workers claimed to have seen transparent figures operating machine tools, which the industry chaplain identified as "the lingering work enthusiasm of those who died from overwork." The Queen ordered the collection of ghostly sweat to develop a new lubricant, and the assembly line supervisor reminded everyone: "Even those who float to work need to clock in!"

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4. An "Underground Parliament" Discovered in the Sewers

Homeless people built a makeshift council chamber out of scrap metal pipes, where daily debates included topics such as "How to survive the winter using a rat's tail." During a raid, the security team discovered a sign on the wall: "Our octagonal cages are at every branch of the sewers—Welcome, Queen, to fight the maggots!"

① Final ruling in the Seventh Cleanroom Explosion Case

Parliament announced: "Following the examination of the Octagon, it has been confirmed that the explosion was caused by a magical resonance triggered by a collective sneezing of workers." The group of widows involved in the incident was scattered by a steam-powered carriage during their protest, and the driver claimed that an "emergency voting procedure" had been implanted into the steering wheel.

② The underground railway labor organization was infiltrated.

Police seized a bugging device disguised as a pressure valve, which contained a built-in recording gear that looped the phrase "Long live Her Majesty Freya." The suspect confessed, "The real conspirators were turned into boiler fuel last month—their combustion has a calorific value 17% higher than that of combustible rock."

③ New type of mine safety light launched

The Chamber of Commerce proudly launches the "Duel Glory" gas lamp, whose light intensity is linked to the odds of aristocratic betting. A miner who tried it reported: "Yesterday, when the rock was seeping water, the lamp suddenly went out. Later I learned it was because the Baroness had bet on 'increased mortality from fear of the dark.'"

④ The dockworkers' union invented the technique of silent protest.

Workers used rivets to carve coded messages onto cargo boxes, prompting the freight manager to angrily rebuke, "This is sabotage of production!" The following day, Parliament passed the Anti-Corrosion Act, stipulating that all protest symbols must be written with aristocratic saliva ink that could be dissolved by acid.

⑤ The church introduces "atonement steam baths"

The archbishop declared, "Inhaling the specially prepared mist can wash away the sins of the strike." After several workers fell into a coma, oxygen pipes connecting the confessional to the noble sanatorium were discovered underground—the priest explained this as a "class symbiosis system."

⑥ Curriculum reform in child labor schools

The textbooks include "Basic Duel Evasion Techniques" and "The Rhetorical Art of Work Injury Reports," while the history lesson has been removed. The preface states, "Remember, your grandfathers' tombstones are the best history book—if they haven't been crushed and used as carpet in the council chamber."

⑦ The scandal involving substandard fuel oil escalates

Investigative journalists discovered that a count was labeling volcanic ash as "Queen's Gift: Highly Efficient Combustion Stone," and suspicious grease was seeping from cracks in the walls of his warehouse. The count responded, "This is a concentrated solution of worker morale extracted using advanced technology."

⑧ Funeral cooperative strike

A coffin maker refused to install a "glory contribution counter" on the deceased, prompting a widow to shout at a hearing, "My husband's ribs are still providing gear lubrication for the council chamber clock!" The sheriff arrested her for "damaging a perpetual power source."

9. Disputes over air cargo routes

The airship union demanded the installation of hail protection devices, to which the Chancellor of the Exchequer responded during a break in the octagon exhibition match: "The national treasury is only enough to gild the afternoon tea snacks in Parliament—but workers are welcome to volunteer as human cushions, paid according to the number of impacts."

⑩ New regulations on drinking water purification spark controversy

Starting today, a small amount of boiler wastewater will be added to the water supply in the slums. During a demonstration, the health official stated, "Tests have shown that this enhances resistance to magic, just like how the octagon can turn cowards into patriots—those who don't die from drinking it are the pillars of the empire."

Chapter 193 Railway Attack

As soon as it got light, the train crew sounded the whistle to remind passengers that they could get back on the train. The whistle would be sounded several more times, each time shorter than the last, indicating that the train's departure time was getting closer.

The kerosene lamps on the platform cast a dim yellow glow in the morning mist. A black crow flew over the cast-iron arch, shaking off its coal-dust-covered feathers in the steam. Its dark eyes were fixed on the direction of the train, motionless.

However, Roach and his companions weren't in a hurry. After washing up and having breakfast, they prepared to return to the car. The hotel's breakfast was simple: toasted bread slices, fried eggs, and grilled bacon, plus a glass of milk and a small amount of cheese.

The aroma of burning wood wafted from the kitchen, mingling with the crackling of pine firewood. The heat from the dining room fogged the windows, distorting the morning street scene as if foreshadowing something.

As the "aristocrats" of the first-class carriage, after returning to the station, they were guided back to their own carriages by designated personnel, avoiding the need to squeeze with the second and third-class passengers at the passageway. As passengers gradually returned to the train, vendors began to approach the station, offering newspapers, dry rations, and travel snacks—just like in the early days of green trains on Earth.

However, none of these people would approach the first-class cabin. After all, even if the nobles had any needs, they wouldn't stick their heads out and wave their arms like ordinary workers to buy those dirty things from vendors. At most, they would send their servants or ask the train conductors to buy a few newspapers for entertainment during the journey.

Having slept well all night, Livia seemed to be in good spirits. She took a thick picture book out of her backpack and baggage and placed it on the small table in front of her. Beside her were freshly baked cookies and a large glass of lemonade. It seemed that she was preparing to kill time during the boring journey. It must be said that Livia was indeed a very well-behaved child who could endure loneliness while traveling. She didn't make a fuss or run around.

"Cover yourself with the blanket, it's getting colder and colder." Luo Qi helped her cover herself with the blanket. Even inside the carriage, the temperature wasn't much higher. However, once the engine started moving, steam would flow into the carriage through the pipes, making the interior warmer.

“Something’s not right…” Alessina sat at the back of the carriage, looking at the crowd outside with a slightly serious expression. Although she didn’t have the keen senses of the Little Witch, as an experienced mercenary, she still sensed something was off from the atmosphere.

The fox-man's sharp ears twitched slightly, as if trying to catch some subtle movement, but after rotating a few times, they returned to their original positions. Clearly, Alessina had not noticed anything unusual, at least not yet.

Meanwhile, "Rusty Nail" Tommy, disguised as a newspaper vendor, approached the rear of the train. He wore a baseball cap, a worn-out brown vest and trousers, and his shirt cuffs were stained, making him look like any other young man making a living selling newspapers.

He stuffed rolls of newspapers into his leather satchel, and the local guards by the train didn't pay any attention and let him pass. He deliberately protected his satchel with his arm, showing a little vigilance. A guard passing by looked at his actions and then at the small bulge that was obviously inside the satchel, and couldn't help but laugh and shake his head.

That was probably the money the kid earned from selling newspapers that morning. In a place like a train station, it's natural to have to be very careful.

The sides of the second and third class carriages were filled with vendors, passing fruits and paper-wrapped local specialties through the windows, with rusty nails mixed in as well, until one of them threw a roll of newspaper into the carriage.

With a clatter, the newspaper fell to the floor, causing Sylvie, who was already on guard, to instinctively kick it away. However, it was too late. Thick smoke spread from the carriage, and the thieves hidden among the crowd seized the opportunity to shout, "Fire! Fire!! Help put out the fire!!!"

At this moment, the train, which was already preparing to depart, had no choice but to stop. Thick smoke billowed out of every window, making it look as if the carriages were actually on fire.

Many panicked passengers jumped out of the windows before the doors even opened, while station staff carrying buckets of water rushed over. Vendors scattered in all directions, passengers swarmed out as soon as the doors opened, and station staff squeezed into the carriages. The scene was utter chaos.

Rusty Nail tugged at his baseball cap, quickly disappeared into the crowd, and left the rest of the work to others.

Scarface, with a knife scar on his face, dragged the unfortunate man's body from the ground into the room. He quickly changed into a station staff uniform and appeared on the scene, pretending to direct the crowd to take refuge while approaching the connection between the first-class carriage and the locomotive.

Since the clothes were stolen, they didn't fit him very well, and there were still traces of the previous battle on the cuffs. He had to adjust the position as much as possible to avoid attracting attention.

He was somewhat surprised that the first-class passengers did not run down. The original plan was to create panic and make these pampered nobles flee in disarray, so that they could approach their target smoothly under the cover of the crowd and seize the opportunity to strike.

The target is just a blonde little girl, who shouldn't be too difficult to deal with. Raven Eye has already observed that although this little girl is a spellcaster, she has poor mobility and would have a hard time protecting herself or keeping up with the main group in this chaotic situation.

Of course, there are also considerations for the current situation. Although she is not good at movement, as a spellcaster, she does have many ways to protect herself in the flames. In fact, for a mystic mage who has enough time to prepare, the fire itself is her greatest shield. She can manipulate the flames at will to use them for her own purposes.

Therefore, it's quite possible that she and her companions will remain inside the carriage instead of recklessly venturing into the chaotic outside environment. In such a case, an attack on the engine would be necessary.

At the front of the vehicle, a silver golem resembling a two-headed unicorn stood in place, white smoke billowing from the copper pipes on its shoulders, and its six mechanical legs had clearly been maintained, ready to be started at any moment.

"Knock, knock, knock!" The cockpit door was pounded on. The driver looked at the stranger in front of him with some confusion. "You are..."

"Open the window!" The other person looked extremely flustered and nervous. "There are new orders!" He reached out and handed over a bulging envelope. "We must start driving immediately. Don't worry about the carriages behind!"

The driver didn't open the door, but only cracked the window slightly, just enough for the envelope to slip in. At that moment, Scarface released the badge he was holding in his other hand, and the small prop inside the envelope quickly burst into flames, releasing a large amount of choking smoke.

"Cough, cough, cough!"

"Oh no! The front of the car is on fire, and the doors are jammed!" The accomplices, who were already prepared, shouted immediately. They then surrounded the front of the car and grabbed tools to pry open the doors. Smoke mixed with sparks kept pouring out from the window gaps, and the windows were completely covered in smoke. Under such circumstances, no one suspected that the group was trying to pry open the doors to rescue the crew.

In this chaotic state of panic, no one noticed whether these people were station staff, since the guards were all concentrated at the rear of the train. After changing his clothes, Rusty Nail also mingled in the crowd, constantly exacerbating the chaos.

"Bang!" "Damn it, someone attacked the guard! Catch him!" The attacked guard, clutching his broken head, jumped up and down cursing, "Saboteur!" A sharp brass whistle rang out, and the guards chased after the fleeing Rusty Nail while dispersing the crowd. Before they could control the situation, a sharp woman's scream rang out, "Ah!!!!! Damn thief!"

"Oh no, my wallet!"

"They're robbing people! They're robbing people!" The crowd, which had just begun to recover, erupted in uproar. Some took the opportunity to rob, some to steal, and others to drag a rather attractive woman into a corner. The guards had to divert some of their personnel to deal with these situations.

Among those who took action, some were Rusty's henchmen, and some were local thugs and hooligans who took advantage of the chaos. After all, before the invention of surveillance, train stations were places where all sorts of strange and shady characters congregated.

Rusty's men, unlike the local thugs, were not afraid of the guards. Instead of surrendering, they used the terrain to their advantage and maneuvered against the guards. This only fueled the guards' anger and vigilance, as they kept blowing their whistles to call for more men to deal with these people.

In this situation, the lock picker located at the front of the train was naturally ignored. "It's open!" The lock on the train's driver's cab door was not easy to crack, but it was successfully solved by Scarface's locksmith without any interference.

After all, the purpose of a lock is to increase the time cost of theft, not to completely prevent theft. Even a heavy and massive lock like a bank vault can be opened given enough time and tools.

The drivers and stokers, who had been knocked unconscious by the smoke, were carried out and placed on the ground. They pretended to ventilate and inspect them. The guards, who were chasing the thieves, only glanced at them a couple of times and then paid no more attention.

"Alright, boss, the locomotive is under control." Other station staff were running towards the locomotive from a distance, carrying containers of water and various fire extinguishing tools. At the same time, several mechanics were also rushing towards the locomotive with tool bags.

"How do we use this thing..." Scarface was a little embarrassed when faced with the control panel full of mechanical devices, but fortunately, there were indeed people among them who were familiar with this kind of magical train, and they quickly found the position of the control lever.

"Whoosh!" The long whistle made everyone pause for a moment, and then the six mechanical legs of the golem at the front of the train began to swing, and the train began to slowly accelerate.

"Wait, damn it! Stop!" Only then did the guard realize something was wrong, and the people at the station also discovered their own man who had been knocked unconscious.

"Whoosh~" Scarface whistled at the receding platform, waving his hat a few times. "Goodbye, gentlemen!" The train continued to accelerate, and Fangqiu Town Station didn't even have time to control the ramps and raise the barriers. They could only watch helplessly as the train, dragged by the two-headed unicorn golem, quickly disappeared from the platform.

A few minutes earlier, at the rear of the third-class carriage.

"Cough cough cough~" Natalia waved her arms to drive away the thick smoke. She had originally planned to jump down with the others, but her Uncle Sylvie stopped her. He used to be a member of the Shadow Raven Thieves, and only joined his father's adventure group after the thieves disbanded.

After that, he embarked on a series of adventures, saved money, and trained until he used the Expansion Decree to help his father expand the territory of Iron Shield Fortress. Only then did he completely retire from his life of crime and become a knight. Although knights are not exactly nobles, they have at least escaped the commoner class.

With Talos becoming the acting lord of Rock Tower County and inheriting the earldom of the Clayber family, it's possible that old comrades like Sylvie could climb a couple more steps up the ranks. However, Sylvie himself wasn't very interested in managing the territory; he preferred to simply collect money and live a life of luxury rather than go through the trouble of managing the estate.

"Don't move, young lady." Sylvie wore a black triangular mask that he hadn't used in a long time. His right hand was lightly pressed against the side of his thigh. If someone suddenly attacked from the smoke, he could throw a throwing knife immediately. At this time, the most taboo thing was for the young lady to run around. Throwing knives don't have eyes and can easily cause accidental injuries.

"What about Uncle Kanger?" Natalia asked her family's head guard. "Kanger took the others to guard the back." The livestock wagons at the rear were the easiest to climb into; if they weren't guarded, they'd be attacked from both sides. "Shouldn't we go down and hide?"

“Miss, the car is the safest place right now, and…” Sylvie didn’t finish her sentence, and the current situation gave her a strange sense of familiarity, as if she had seen this kind of plan somewhere before.

"Boom!" The carriage shook violently, then began to move slowly forward. The wind rushing in through the windows dispersed the smoke and improved visibility slightly. Outside the carriage, people were running around, and guards with their scimitars drawn were sprinting across the station, but they couldn't keep up with the train's accelerating speed.

Soon, the station disappeared outside the window, leaving only the hills, fields, and forests rushing past. Scarface and his group, who had taken control of the engine, had no intention of attacking the first-class cabin. The cabin door was thick, and the knights and the beastman mercenary inside were not easy opponents. On the contrary, at this moment, they had to guard against the guard knights inside rushing to the engine to seize control.

“Sir Rhine, why are we…” Roach looked at Rhine with some concern. He had originally planned to ask Lulua and Alessina for help, but Rhine stopped him.

“The people inside the locomotive aren’t a big deal. In fact, as long as the train is running, it’s in our favor,” Rhine said, shaking his head. After all, Catherfield County is close to Rye Valley County, which has a lot of fertile ground for banditry.

However, the situation in Silver Maple County is quite different. Moreover, Grape Hill, which is right next to the Greystone River, is one of the most developed areas in Silver Maple County. Once you get there, Rhine can immediately receive assistance from the royal family.

The royal family owns wineries in the Vineyard area and has troops stationed there to protect them. Although they are not regular troops, they are numerous, well-equipped, and guarded by these men, ordinary bandits naturally cannot do anything.

These winery guards were the royal family's private servants. Because of their personal dependence on the royal family, their loyalty was even higher than that of the knights and nobles, and even higher than that of the garrison troops in the capital. Otherwise, they would not be guarding the royal family's private property.

"And I guess they don't have many people, otherwise they wouldn't have chosen this method to seize control of the trains in Fangqiu Town." That is, to directly blow up the railway, block the trains, and then attack Fangqiu Town, provided they have enough people.

Fangqiu Town is not a large town. Although it is wealthy, its own defense force is not very strong. The reason why it has not been attacked by bandits is because there are many merchants and travelers here. Most of the merchants in this era are quite capable and also bring guards to deal with thieves and monsters on the road.

The locations where large caravans gather are usually not targets for ordinary bandit gangs, and bandit gangs that would target such large caravans traveling together would not be found in Fangqiu Town or County Catherfield, as these places are too close to the capital and the Northern Province.

No bandit gang could possibly grow to this extent in the surrounding area, and if large gangs from other places could pass through border checkpoints unimpeded, and so many of their forces remained undetected, then the empire was probably nearing its end.

"I estimate that the bandits will ambush us on the road, and there will be about ten to twenty of them."

"Pursuit on horseback?" Roach asked. The scene did indeed resemble the style of the American West on Earth, especially since the front of the train was now under the control of the enemy. They only needed to brake and slow down, and soon they could jump onto the train, or even stop it at the ambush site.

“Yes, that’s why I don’t want you to waste resources and energy to take the cockpit.” Rhein nodded. The other side had also taken this into account and blocked the door. If they really tried to attack, they might not only lose manpower, but also consume valuable combat resources.

For example, arrows, ammunition, potions, and various magical items, and even the spellcaster's own energy, are strategic and tactical resources that need to be carefully managed at this time.

"We might as well wait here for them to make their move, and..." Moreover, since the other side has prepared to this extent, they must have a backup plan. Even if they take back the front of the car, there is nothing they can do unless they retreat back to Fangqiu Town.

But things can change in the long run. Who knows what might happen if we stay in Fangqiu Town for too long? Princess Freya hasn't established enough authority yet, and the old emperor is cursed and nearing the end of his life.

Once their purpose is exposed, it will be difficult to pinpoint who will strike – even the princess may not be trustworthy. After all, if the old emperor's curse is lifted and his lifespan is extended, it means she will be further away from the crown.