Can Lixi look at me alone?

Page 66

Ignoring the security guard's warning, Lixi looked at the tightly closed door. A sudden feeling of relief washed over her.

Will Yuzuki come?

How is she going to get in? She's in such poor health… how is she going to get in? By climbing over the wall? If she gets hurt, I'll have to take care of her…

Yes, you need me to take care of you... Please, let me take care of you one more time...

Please, please appear here...

I miss you so much, I love you so much... Please...

Tears rolled down her cheeks, and Lixi buried her face in her hands on the table, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have thought that way, I shouldn't have felt..."

Yuzuki... has cared for me for a long time and taken care of me many times. So this...

Once again, Yuzuki will take care of me and forgive me, just like before... right?

No, that's not right at all... Why did I think that way back then?! Why did I think that since Yuzuki had waited for me so many times, she would take care of me again?

"Lixi-chan, I'm over here."

The ethereal voice temporarily stopped her crying, and the bite marks on her neck were particularly noticeable in the sunlight.

"The end of the month, the end of the month?"

Following the sound, she walked to a dusty, broken window. Ignoring the risk of being cut, she crawled through, only to realize she had already left the school.

Standing up from the soft pile of leaves, Lixi glanced back at the teaching building.

Is Yuzuki... worried about me? That's why she's letting me go home from here.

Oh right, let's go home!

Yuzuki's house!

You need to apologize, you need to... find a reason, find an excuse, anyway...

I want to see the end of the month.

I want to feel her body temperature, I want to touch her pink hair, I want to hold her tightly, I want to sleep in her arms.

The girl, whose calf had been cut by glass, stumbled toward the building she visited every day after school. Ignoring the pain in her calf, she quickened her pace and finally knocked on Yuzuki's door before sunset.

After tidying herself up a bit to make herself look less disheveled, Lixi heard the sound of the security door opening.

But it wasn't the pink-clad girl; it was a young woman.

"Hello? Are you a relative of the woman who was born in the month of Jieyue?"

"Yuzuki... I'm sorry, little sister. I just rented this house today, and I don't even know this Yuzuki you're talking about..."

End of Month...

Just as Lixi was about to despair, the woman remembered something. She handed her a piece of paper filled with Japanese writing.

"I found this while cleaning the room just now; it might be related to your friend..."

I love you, Riki-chan… I love you. Yuzuki's love was written all over a page of notebook paper, which Riki then put into his pocket.

"Hahaha...hahahahahaha!"

She lay on the bed, crumpled the paper, and then carefully smoothed it out.

Hehehe haha...

I did it!

Yuzuki, Yuzuki moved out! Yuzuki completely hates me! Yuzuki loathes me, to the point that even looking at me makes her feel disgusted!

Isn't this what I've always wanted to see?

Feeling completely relaxed, he rolled around on the bed, a few drops of blood wetting the floor.

That's right, right now, she should be this happy, laughing like this.

Because Yuzuki will never come to see her again, because even her sun loathes her existence.

Why, why are you crying?

Why would you like someone like me, who can't do anything right and only makes excuses afterward?

She was too lazy to clean the wound and let the blood flow out.

Actually… you already knew, didn't you? You already knew, didn't you?

Shiina Tatsuki, you've always known, haven't you?

How could I not like you, Jieyue? I hold your hand every day on my way to and from school, I prepare pajamas for you every day, and you can even stay overnight at my house anytime. The food I cook for you is always... the best.

Why do you always... lie to yourself? Why do you always tell yourself that Yuzuki could never like you?

because…

I, Shiina Tatsuki… am bad at everything. No one could possibly like me… but I'm used to this kind of life.

But... but that day, I wasn't the only one who intruded into other people's lives!

"Yuzaki, Yuzuki also barged into my life! I... I used to feel like I had no reason to exist, just like Yuzuki. It's all because of... the surname Shiina."

She gave up hiding it and faced her vulnerable inner self.

But after Yuzuki touched my hand, everything changed! Me, a piece of trash like me, who hurts others time and time again, was treated like this by Yuzuki…

Why, why do you have to be so close to me? And why... do you have to approach me again and again?

Actually, that day, when I was dividing up your bento box... I was thinking, would Yuzuki leave me because of this?

If only you had left back then... but you never did, you kept indulging me, forgiving me... until you couldn't take it anymore...

Why, why are you doing this to me?! Why are you being so good to me?!

Every single time I see you with someone else, I want to snatch you away, to hold you tight, to tell everyone that you belong to me…

But I can't do that... because it belongs to a piece of trash like me...

She watched as the wound on her calf gradually healed.

Only waste.

She gently stroked the teeth marks on her neck, trying to recall the expression on Jieyue's face when she left those marks there that day.

It was painful, twisted, and desperate.

She likes this kind of ending.

She enjoyed loathing her Yuzuki like this.

because…

"What's so great about someone as useless as me? Why... would you like me? Just give me that look, just show me this side of yourself... Yuzuki, okay? From now on, seeing this side of you is enough for me..."

Because Yuzuki has absolutely no reason to like me, right? Akari and Mutsuki are so much better than me. They're so cute, so outstanding, they won't hurt you, they won't make you sad… and Mutsuki is even better at being affectionate and taking care of you…

So be it, just hate me like that, stay away from me, and live your own happy life...

Isn't this fine enough?

Isn't this what I've been waiting for all this time?

Isn't this... something I wanted you to do with me from the very beginning?

Why, why did everything change after you entered my world?!

Why, why do I like you so much too? I want to... stay by your side, kiss you, do everything we can, and spend my whole life with you...

But I...

I'm such a cowardly, insecure, immature, brainless piece of trash...

I'm not good enough for you...

Please, please... don't ignore me like this... even just showing me your back would be enough...

But, but I really want to see you, I really, really want to be with you…

I love you, Yuzuki.

She looked at the paper and read it aloud, word by word.

"I love you, Riki-chan, I love you."

"I want to see you." (Unread)

I want to sit next to you, I want to see you smile at me, I want to eat lunch with you... I want to hold your hand, I want to smell your fragrance, I want to go home with you... I want to hold you and sleep together...

But... what's the use of thinking about it?

She is like the sun that has left its orbit and will no longer shine upon her.

But she... didn't want to die from insomnia. She wanted... to see her stars one more time.

Do you prefer stars or pebbles?

Is there anyone who doesn't like stars?

Lixi wanted to answer like that, but she was worried that it would allow her star to continue to approach her and become tainted by her filth.

A star should stay with other stars, not like her…

I'm only fit to secretly admire that star I love from the ground...

She looked into the room.

Throw pillow.

The touch of the pink-haired girl's head still lingered on her shoulder, and the warm scent of Yuzuki still lingered around her nose.

Tomorrow... no, now... I'll go to the supermarket right now.