I am your deceased love sustenance 1

How long?

How long has it been since you took a close look at your mother?

Hmm…I can’t remember.

It seemed that ever since she had been busy with the various tasks at hand in order to prove herself, she had not observed Noshiro Chitose carefully again.

"I'm here, Xiao Sushi."

Qiansui's voice was weak and vague, as if it didn't come from his throat but appeared out of thin air.

[No, no, what the hell! It's all fake.]

Until now, Nagasaki Suyo still can't believe what she saw.

Why did you get sick so suddenly?

My mother is barely 30 years old, so why did she get such a serious illness?

She was wearing a hospital gown that felt one size too big. Her face was pale, she was lifeless, she was... withering.

"No! How could this happen... I..."

Su Shi didn't know what she should say.

She could feel that Chitose Noshiro's gaze was always on her.

Su Shi raised her head cautiously. She regretted not going home with Chitose's mother last Friday... What was she doing last Friday? Is rehearsal and excellent performance really that important?

Why did I care so much about these things?

[Because he wanted his mother's approval, to consolidate his ridiculous status?]

No no no…just because…just because…

[Because the uneasiness in my heart makes me feel very internal, I constantly want to do something to change this uneasy situation.]

At that time, I even argued with my mother, and my tone was not good. At that time, I...

"The show was a success, wasn't it?"

Su Shi met those eyes.

Qiansui's pupils turned deep red, and they were a pair of dim and unclear eyes.

"I can't hold you anymore, what a pity..."

Su Shi felt that her mother still had a lot to say, but just like her, it was too late to tell her the words buried deep in her heart.

"The ginseng chicken soup...is in the refrigerator. I can heat it up when I get home."

This sentence became so vague.

It seems like this sentence doesn't even exist.

……

Do you think this is the end?

It’s a beautiful imagination, very beautiful.

It is really wonderful to be able to say your final goodbyes to the one you love, to tell each other what is in your heart, so that you will have no regrets until you die.

What a pity.

The final goodbye mentioned above was just a fantasy of a poor girl.

Nagasaki Suyo, she didn't have any...

"I didn't even see him for the last time..."

Chitose Noshiro has indeed passed away.

When Su Shi rushed to the hospital, he didn't even have time to see the other person for the last time.

Her imagination of Chitose's life before his death was pieced together from the words of many medical staff.

Some of them said Chitose was very thin.

Some say she was unable to utter a complete last word.

Some say that the poor lady was still laughing before she died.

They talked a lot, but Su Shi was in no mood to listen.

That day she left her band members behind and rushed to the hospital, only to find that Ms. Nagasaki had arrived earlier than her.

The mother was crying and had been crying since that day.

Mother must know what Chitose said last, right? But mother was in no mood to tell her what Chitose said last.

Therefore, Su Shi could only use her imagination to construct what Qian Sui's mother would say to her in the end.

In the Noshiro hut, Suyo stood in front of Chitose's refrigerator door in a daze.

The refrigerator was half open, and Nagasaki Suyo stared blankly at the ginseng chicken soup covered with plastic wrap inside.

Maybe this is the ginseng chicken soup that Qiansui’s mother said she would make for her that day?

Maybe the 80-year-old mother’s last words before her death were that there was ginseng chicken soup in the refrigerator?

But, but ...

There was no light in the house, and confusion became the main theme of the cabin.

"But that day I refused to go home with my mother... I also told her to go find Xiaoxiang, saying that she had more than one daughter..."

What did I say...

How can this be...

Su Shi's face was haggard and pale. She pushed the refrigerator door weakly, but was unable to close it at all because she had not eaten for several days.

The refrigerator door was only lightly closed, and countless orange lights were leaking out from inside.

Those lights perfectly highlight Su Shi's absent-mindedness.

"I…"

Why are you blinded by jealousy?

Why do I feel jealous and complain?

My mother clearly did nothing wrong, but why was I so selfish and felt that she was sharing her love for me with others?

I'm in need of love, but the one I love...she...she...

Chitose Noshiro is gone.

She left.

She can never come back.

The medical staff said it was due to cancer, but my mother clearly...ah, my mother seemed to have said that she had been in poor health since junior high school and had even fainted.

But I am always so selfish, only thinking about asking for love.

It seems that I have never given my mother much care.

Even the band was just a tool for me to get praise from my mother... My mother must have seen through everything, but she...

"My mother still gives me everything I want."

She is always so selfless.

Su Shi dragged his stiff body into the living room.

The crying of the past few days has drained away all of Su Shi's tears, and there are still tear marks on her cheeks.

In fact, she still didn't feel anything real.

too suddenly.

Why did you suddenly...suddenly leave?

She still has a lot to say to her mother and the band...

Her performance was brilliant and the audience loved it.

But unfortunately, my mother didn’t have time to watch it...

Su Shi felt numb all over. She didn't want to cry or do anything now.

She even felt very calm inside, so calm that it was eerie.

hum-

hum-

The cell phone rang. It was Xiangzi calling.

"Hello? Is that Su Shi? How are you doing lately?"

"..."

Hmm? Hmm… Hmm!

Su Shi suddenly raised her head and she finally discovered the clue.

[Why... did Toyokawa Shoko know that Chitose's mother was about to die? ]

Um?Um?Um?

Is this right?

Is this correct...

"I'm fine, what's wrong?"

His voice was strangely hoarse, it didn't even sound like his own throat.

"Everyone in the band was worried about you, so I called you."

"Where are you?"

"what?"

"I said. Where are you? Are they all with you?"

Su Shi's tone was changing rapidly, even with a hint of anger.

"We're in the Ring, and we have rehearsal today..."

"Don't leave."

"I am coming."

Ch108. From Chitose Noshiro, who loves you forever

Heavy rain, gloomy city, depressing rain curtain.

Looking around, all I see is rain.

Nagasaki Suyo's umbrella was blown away by the storm. She was very weak and completely unable to fight against the wind and rain for the fluttering umbrella.

The rain mercilessly soaked Nagasaki Suyo's whole body, making her mood even worse.

The last time I saw Chitose Noshiro was at her funeral, which was just a few days ago.

The mother cried bitterly, and in the coffin lay forever the 60-year-old mother with a smile in her eyes.

Su Shi didn't remember whether she cried or not, maybe she cried very loudly.

Or maybe no sound at all.

Her mind was a mess, just like her life was now a mess.

Chitose passed away, and Sushi had no idea what she had left to live for.

From then on, no one was with her every weekend. No one could give her the kind of maternal love she imagined, and no one would listen to her inner pain.

From now on, she will return to a world without her mother.

Her biological mother would not spend time with her. It was impossible in the past, not now, and not in the future.

Her biological father also left her, and even her stepmother...