I am your deceased love sustenance 1

"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday. Are you hungry? Mommy will take you out for dinner after you're discharged from the hospital."

"Um…"

The answer was the same weak one as yesterday.

Su Shi suddenly thought that she had not thought of Guo Qiansui during the days she was taking care of her mother in the hospital... Does this mean that the child has not had a good meal for many days?

This…

"Chitose, what have you been eating lately?"

"Woo?"

Okay, that's enough.

After hearing the other party's cute moan, Su Shi knew the answer.

[You didn't eat much, did you? Sigh.]

The room fell into a strange silence for a moment, and Su Shi didn't know how to face this child next.

I want to escape, but escape will only make me look more embarrassed.

I want to speak up, but I'm too thin-skinned.

The silence seemed to continue until—

"Mother…"

On the white bed, Qiansui spoke cautiously.

Qiansui's voice was like a ray of light in despair, and Su Shi quickly grabbed the rope.

"What's wrong? Chitose."

Her tone this time! Definitely very gentle!

"Mom...can you please not call me Qiansui...Grandma always calls me...Xiaosui..."

Chitose Nagasaki's voice was intermittent, unclear and low when she spoke, but even so, Su Shi listened patiently and carefully.

But after hearing this, Su Shi felt mixed emotions.

"Okay, okay, Xiaosui...Xiaosui is the best. Mommy will take you to eat delicious food later."

"Ok!"

You are so good, it makes me feel so uncomfortable.

If you were a little bit worse, I would still feel at ease... No way, it's impossible to feel at ease.

After so many years, this is the first time Su Shi has such complicated emotions.

Ch137. That bowl of destined ginseng chicken soup

Hanging up the drip, taking medicine, body temperature drops to normal, discharged from the hospital, driving to eat, another day has passed.

While driving to dinner, Su Shi's suppressed emotions began to quietly take effect.

She thought of her mother.

When she was a child, she would blame her. When she grew up, she began to understand her. After becoming an adult, she faced various pressures from the society and experienced countless joys and sorrows... Su Shi began to "blame" her mother again.

This kind of complaint appears along with the emergence of gratitude. It is not strong, but it definitely exists, even if it is only a small amount.

Why do you blame your mother?

Why did I start blaming my mother after going through the period of junior high school when I should have blamed her the most?

Is it because I found that I no longer have any friends I can talk to and there is no one to blame?

How did her life, Nagasaki Suyo, become like this?

Those two weeks of band life in junior high school... were obviously very happy.

Why did the band I considered my "home" fall apart so quickly? I had done nothing wrong.

Now Su Shi already knows the answer. She is in her early thirties and has long understood many problems in the world.

Sometimes life is just like that. It's not necessarily because you did something wrong. Many times, all you have to do is watch the tragedy unfold quietly... At worst, you can just add this sentence at the end:

This is how it is.

"Mom? Mom?"

The little girl's soft call awakened Su Shi from her memories. She had been distracted like this lately... Was it because she was getting old?

She found that the red light in front of her had turned green long ago, and the vehicles behind her began to honk at her impatiently.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something."

I'm being a bit irresponsible again, alas.

Turn the intersection ahead, follow a straight path uphill, and finally turn left at the intersection——

This is the humble izakaya that Su Shi occasionally visits.

"Mom? How do you pronounce those words?"

Pointing at the name of the izakaya outside the window, Su Shi frowned subconsciously, but still answered patiently:

“Edo-style cuisine.”

"Huh? What does this mean?"

"Hmm...I don't know either."

It was a very good question, which left Su Shi speechless.

After all, she has already passed the stage of being a curious baby with a strong desire for knowledge.

In Su Shi's eyes, it doesn't matter what the restaurant is called, and he won't ask about it... after all, there is no point.

So she couldn't give the child a proper answer.

"Let's go, let's go eat. I'm sure you won't hate it."

The place where Nagasaki Suyo took Nagasaki Chitose to dinner was an authentic old Tokyo izakaya.

It is huddled in a small corner of the city, and it is easy to be subconsciously overlooked if you don't look for it specifically.

There are no billboards at the door and no neon lights on the eaves. Compared to the bustling Tokyo, this place is shabby and old, as if you have come to another world.

The store’s business card says “Edo-style cuisine.”

From the moment she entered the store until now, Qian Sui has been looking around curiously, but she did not make any sound to disturb Su Shi.

Perhaps because it was still too early for dinner, there were only two diners in the room, Chitose and Su Shi. Su Shi took the menu from the waiter and browsed through the dishes skillfully.

"Is there anything you want to eat?"

There is also a menu in front of Chitose. Compared to the big menu, the small Chitose is as cute as a figurine.

"I...can't read..."

"Uh... I forgot. How about looking at the pictures? Do you like any of them?"

She tried to hide her embarrassment with a forced smile, but Su Shi felt that the more she smiled, the more embarrassed she became.

She had indeed forgotten that her daughter was only six years old.

"Pictures? Look at this... Oh! Mom! This!"

"Ok?"

Su Shi looked in the direction Qiansui pointed. The menu was paper, and the picture of ginseng chicken soup was particularly eye-catching on the menu.

"Samgyetang, do you like this dish?"

"Uh-huh!"

I love it so much, my lovely little daughter!

Chitose Nagasaki nodded kindly, and she swore that her desire to eat ginseng chicken soup was definitely not out of bad taste.

But... the only thing she was interested in in this recipe was the ginseng chicken soup. After all, having dinner with Su Shi again, and having dinner with Su Shi of a different age at a different age, there should be some sense of ritual.

Not long ago, when I was almost thirty years old, I took Su Shi, who was just over ten years old, to drink ginseng chicken soup.

In the blink of an eye, Su Shi, now in her early thirties, took her six-year-old self out to eat ginseng chicken soup.

It would be interesting if the Su Shi in front of me was the one I used to know... I wonder how that Su Shi is doing in that other world.

"Okay, okay, that's it."

Su Shi didn't see the complicated look that flashed across Qiansui's eyes. After ordering the food, she stared at the little girl quietly.

"Qian...Xiaosui, are you going to kindergarten soon? I'll take you there."

"Mom, it's summer vacation now."

"Ahem...Oh, I forgot."

It seemed like my mother had called me and told me about it a few days before she fell into a coma.

It’s just that I didn’t pay attention to it at that time, ah... what a dereliction of duty.

Su Shi felt a little sorry for Qiansui, but she didn't know how to make it up to her.

The only solution she could think of was to provide the other party with better living conditions and ensure that the other party had enough food and drink.

This should be enough to make up for it.

As the ginseng chicken soup was served, Chitose, who had been silent all this time, slowly spoke.

Her voice was clear and bright, which made Su Shi feel comfortable:

"Grandma said! If you're sick, you should eat ginseng chicken soup!"

"Uh-huh…"

My mother seemed to have said something similar when I was a child. Su Shi vaguely remembered that my mother also said...

"Mom! Ginseng chicken soup is good for the eyes. Let's eat it together."

"My eyes are very good."

"Then why are mom's eyes always red?"

"Huh? You kid."

Could it be that this little guy had been observing me when I was drinking alone and feeling sad at my mother's house?

She actually still thinks about caring for her own mother... She probably doesn't know that I'm not her biological mother.

However, young children may not understand these concepts, and it is difficult to explain them, so let's wait until she is a little older.

The ginseng chicken soup tasted very light, and Su Shi liked this feeling very much.

Qiansui used chopsticks to gently pick up the chicken and it came off. The next moment, Qiansui picked up the chicken and put it in... Su Shi's bowl?

"I can add more dishes myself, no need..."

"Mom, eat more. I've troubled you so much today. Being in the hospital must have delayed you for a lot of time."

"..."

Who did this kid learn this from? How can he be so considerate?

Nagasaki Suyo felt her conscience was being tortured, and Chitose seemed to be glowing in her eyes.

Gumbling—

She found that compared to Chitose, she seemed a bit like a dark, damp reptile in the sewer.

Ch138. The iceberg in my heart is collapsing

To be honest...

This little kid is quite cute.

She wasn't really that troublesome or bad at all.

Actually, the situation is not as bad as I thought...