Yes, Prime Minister of Japan

The local elders quickly made a decision:

"It's done! This is exactly what we wanted."

Although they still wanted to go to the United States, the elders of Samoa saw things more clearly than the Americans, given the current overwhelming global trends. They believed that going to a resource-rich country like Australia would offer a better chance of benefiting from the changes.

Because American Samoa is a typical post-war U.S. territory controlled by the U.S. military without the permission or consent of the local people, and its status has been unresolved for a long time, lacking full autonomy, it is a U.S. Category IV territory, which is a colony as defined by the United Nations. Therefore, this conflict has persisted.

The United Nations will approve an application about 80% of the time if it is submitted.

Although many people think the United Nations is a piece of crap, it has actually played a significant international role in many areas. For example, the Decolonization Commission promoted the political independence of 80 colonies. Currently, 17 non-self-governing colonies still exist.

Aside from Morocco and Western Sahara, the remaining 16 islands all belong to the colonial empires of Britain, the United States, and France, as well as one island controlled by New Zealand. Britain owns 10 islands, mainly in the Americas and the Atlantic Ocean, and Gibraltar. The United States, France, and New Zealand, excluding the Virgin Islands in the Americas, are involved in various islands in the Pacific Ocean.

In the Pacific Ocean, the only islands in the United States that are connected to American Samoa and Guam are the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands (including Saipan). There are also established federal territories that resemble colonies.

What makes these places special is that they enjoy the benefits provided by the United States and benefit from the economic dividends of being close to China, thus they lack the will to be independent.

After learning that Samoa had been dealt with, Li Xinghe pondered on the map:

"Not only should we submit an application for independence and self-government for American Samoa, but why not also demand that Guam and the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands be independent? Saipan in the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands is full of Chinese people, and is known as 'Little China.' Isn't this a typical example of being a colony? What about Wake Island, Midway Island, Johnston Island... and even Hawaii? We should urge the United States to release all the island nations in the Pacific that they have occupied."

The US island chain strategy should be gradually pushed away from the Far East, the Western Pacific, and the Eastern Pacific, until their coastal defenses are finally moved back to the west coast.

Even... California independence?

……

11 month 2 day.

Grand funerals are gradually beginning in the United States of America.

Vance's financial backers spent a fortune hiring 6 professional actors to prepare for Vance's coronation.

On this day, the majority of Washington state's population was locked down in their neighborhoods, with green metal plates nailed to the gates of their communities, prohibiting all Black people from leaving.

The actors surrounded the main road to the coronation site with such a large crowd that it was impossible to pass through.

In the White House, Vance was extremely agitated. Yesterday, he had bled profusely, staining the Emperor's New Clothes, so he had to wear a rather unremarkable red suit and white trousers instead. His crown was a 'Colored American Crown' made of two 35-carat diamonds and several colored diamonds, ordered from Yellow River Whirlwind. His cape was a pure Florida-washed red velvet shawl, piled high with small pearls imported from Japan. His shoes were classic leather shoes, handcrafted by genuine Mexican leather craftsmen and inlaid with two artificial rubies.

The only redeeming quality was that he now possessed the pure gold eagle scepter and the eagle claw orb, standard equipment for European kings.

Fortunately, today was a joyous occasion. Although Vance was not very happy, he did not react to the emperor's robe, which was priced as high as '$5 million'.

After all, technological value is still value. Why can't the diamonds from the Yellow River Whirlwind be expensive? Commissioner Smith went to great lengths to smuggle them in from Haiti, bypassing customs.

God bless America!

As the song began, the soldiers, carrying Vance's holy image plaques and various ceremonial items representing the emperor, marched off in a dazzling display of gold.

In the front row were veteran cavalrymen riding horses, while behind them were Washington State Defense Army militiamen, whose backsides were about a meter apart.

Meanwhile, Vance, sitting in his carriage, strolled enthusiastically through the streets where the actors were cheering.

Although he had organized about 2 troops to prepare for his inauguration parade, Vance was in a foul mood but felt helpless looking at the disorganized and haphazardly marching army formation. If the U.S. Army was truly capable, then he should be questioning whether his political position was secure.

As the army marched through the crowd of professional actors, the soldiers shouted incoherently:

"Long live my emperor!"

"Long live the President!"

"Vans!"

Because the army did not conduct full advance drills (actually out of fear of an army rebellion), the army did not even know how to shout slogans.

Their procession first arrived at the North City Holy Land Cathedral, where his fiancée, Austin Jane Graham, was waiting for the wedding ceremony at the entrance of this Mayan temple.

But what about going up there?

Vance's buttocks were already so sore yesterday that they felt like they were splitting open. Today, on this joyous day, he managed to crawl a few steps before his buttocks started hurting again.

Blood began to flow again, and Vance was in excruciating pain, to the point that he was unable to move forward.

Under the watchful eyes of the crowd, the president's buttocks were stained with red spots like a showerhead on his pristine white trousers.

So what to do?

Fortunately, the tech company's backers were resourceful. They found a large aircraft assembled from various civilian aircraft engines in China, flew over, loaded Vance into it, and put it into flight.

The only problem was... Vance's butt was still dripping blood, and the aircraft's completely transparent glass container made the bloodstains on His Majesty the Emperor's big buttocks and white trousers very obvious, to the point that even the broadcasting television station couldn't hold back.

"It felt like a fat pig being airlifted," they commented, and were quickly arrested by the CIA. (The rest of the text appears to be gibberish and unrelated to the preceding sentences.)

This may be the most ostentatious ceremony in American history.

Like a fat pig being airlifted, Vance was placed on top of the Holy Land Cathedral, which was filled with people, including Vance's major patrons.

Vance, feeling dizzy, entered the church and, to the sound of the band playing, arrived at the top of the temple where he and his wife were married and where he was crowned Emperor of the United States, inside the church.

The drone filmed the scene constantly, while the emcee kept shouting, "His Majesty the Emperor has arrived in person!"

So the subjects bowed deeply.

At this moment, evangelical bishops and priests, right-wing tech financiers in Silicon Valley, and Wall Street tycoons all felt that what they were seeing was not a human being, but a vulgar, fat pig wrapped in glamorous clothes.

When Vance arrived, the original plan was to hold a wedding and coronation first, but the first thing he said was:

"I hereby announce that I will bestow titles of duke, marquis, and earl upon several individuals as a reward for your support of me."

The marquises of a thousand households and ten thousand households are about to start dividing up the profits.

Everyone was so eager to get started that they didn't pay attention to the procedural inconsistencies.

"I hereby confer upon Musk the title of Earl of Snail Creek, granting him full jurisdiction over the surrounding 8000 acres of land and the town, to be enjoyed by his AirFork company. I grant him the power to establish a free city, where he can enact laws and govern the town on his own land, with the town and the company becoming one."

The woman who accepted the Earl's Medal on Musk's behalf was a female executive who had given birth to his child.

Because so many people want to kill Musk, he is still hiding everywhere, despite using his media platform to promote Vance's imperial ambitions.

Even now, very few people know where Musk is hiding.

Rumors circulate that Musk may not be in the United States at all, but rather in some unknown fortress in Puerto Rico or Cuba, or even, according to reports, hiding in a black community in his hometown in South Africa, or perhaps in his mother's house in Shanghai. Only the CIA may know his exact whereabouts.

Vance continued:

"I hereby confer upon Peter Thiel the title of Duke of Denver, granting him autonomy over a 4-acre suburban town, farmland, forestry, and mines within the city of Denver, to be enjoyed by his Palantir Company. I also grant him the power to establish free cities and to create free and independent factory cities without restriction."

This is Vance's major financial backer. He's also a key figure in the new military industry group, a formidable player in military big data analysis.

Moreover, it is said that Peter Thiel is gay and had a long-standing sexual relationship with Vance.

Vance added:

"I hereby appoint Ken Howelly as Marquis of Paypal, and grant him a 2-acre estate near Austin, with the power to establish towns, set his own laws, and build his own factories. I also grant him the power to establish free cities without restriction."

This is one of the co-founders of PayPal and a key figure in the Peter Thiel Group.

Vance bestowed titles upon more than a dozen dukes, marquises, and earls in one go, granting them the power to establish free cyber cities.

Wall Street certainly needs to be appeased, but they only deserve to be in the second batch.

"What's next?" Vance asked excitedly.

The emcee hurriedly raised his hand and called out:

"The coronation ceremony shall begin!"

Then several innocent-looking young girls, carrying the emperor's jeweled crown, slowly walked out.

When Vance saw the crown being delivered to him, he was so excited that his soul seemed to fly away.

"What a happy day!"

Chapter 876: The Day the Black Emperor Reigned, Vance Couldn't Save America (3900 words)

North City Holy Land Cathedral.

"No, we should get married first."

Billy Graham's family and other evangelical leaders have pointed out that the procedure is incorrect.

So the poor girls had no choice but to return with the American mountain crown adorned with colored diamonds, and the little queen, led by Austin's mother, stood in the center of the church.

Ignoring his blood-stained trousers, Vance shamelessly swore an oath before the crucifix of God:

"I hereby take Austen Jane Billy Graham as my wife."

But the little girl next to me wasn't cooperating at all.

"I...I...Waaah, I don't want to marry this gay fat pig..."

The beautiful 14-year-old girl hugged the flowers and cried her eyes out, inadvertently revealing many rumors about Vance.

“Baby, don’t talk nonsense…” Her mother was stunned.

Everyone hurriedly turned off the recording to prevent any inappropriate remarks from being recorded.

Vance was instantly in a terrible mood. After the wedding, he kicked the mother and daughter out and told them to go aside and reflect on their mistakes.

After barely managing to complete the wedding ceremony, the coronation ceremony became even more ridiculous.

The evangelical priests were still rambling on and on: "God bless you, you must spread the gospel of God..."

"Ugh, you talk too much nonsense."

As he spoke, Vance picked up the crown himself.

This is exactly the same story Li Xinghe told him.

After forcibly taking the crown, Vance put it on his own head and completed this charade of a monkey wearing a crown in front of the television cameras.

and then?

Then the monks brought out a podium for delivering a national address.

Vance reached out and touched the evangelical version of the Bible, swearing an oath to the television camera:

"Since the Mayflower landed in America, the United States, through arduous struggle and guided by the Gospel of God, has planted the cross on every high ground in the world that needs democracy and freedom. We landed in Normandy, stormed Berlin, defeated the Nazis, and achieved undeniable success in Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq. Finally, the Soviet Union collapsed before our eyes. The United States became the greatest nation in the world. However, partisan strife, the rise of Russia, and the growth of China have led to a dead end for the nation."

Therefore, we gather here today to launch a great self-revolution for America! To abandon the old nest and enter a new future.

I hereby solemnly swear before the Bible that I, James David Vance, shall be the first Emperor of the United States. I will, by the grace of God, restore the glory of America.

After two months of secrecy, Vance finally offered his new prescription for America's modern problems to the American people.

Regarding the question "What is America?", Vance reiterated the founding myth of the Mayflower and extended it, interpreting America's emergence and expansion from an evangelical perspective as a special grace from God on earth. America is the only nation chosen by God, and will remain the world's leading great nation in the modern era, the future, and beyond.

When asked "Why America?", Vance's answer was to start by rambling on about the U.S. Constitution:

"The American Empire will continue to maintain our global presence. But we will shift from 'hard power' to 'smart power,' and we will rely more heavily on the cooperation of our global allies."

Vance's two answers determined his governing direction.

Democratic voters, whose spirits had already died, ridiculed this relentlessly.

Meanwhile, the centrist voters who were watching the show were dumbfounded.

Is this how you approach national reform? Do you really think you're the emperor?

Isn't this just putting new wine in old bottles?

Isn't this just the same old stuff that Southern evangelicals, the Republican Freedom Caucus, and the old establishment love to spout?

Vance's innovation lies in its flexible cutting.

Although he inherited the entire legacy of the United States of America, Vance selectively cut off the infamy that the United States had borne in the past, referring to it all as 'the ineffective and repetitive struggles between the two parties in the past'.

Ultimately, Vance transformed the Maga movement into what Trump wanted most: a Trump dynasty that would last for generations.

It's not that Vance didn't come up with his own solutions, but rather that his proposed remedies certainly wouldn't satisfy everyone.

Opposition voices spread rapidly across the internet like a tidal wave.

Social activists criticized:

"He neither answered the question of the dollar's excessive abundance nor offered a solution to the economic chaos. What about the high housing prices and alarming interest rates? How can these problems be solved?"

Left-wing scholars are furious:

"What about democracy? What about equality? What about freedom? What about liberation?"

Economists hurriedly asked:

"What about the economy? What should we do?"

Vance's answer was very general.