Why wasn't I the one who got the male lead's script?

——If I say I’m not afraid of disappearing from this world, I’d definitely be lying.

As long as it is a living thing, it will still maintain the desire to survive, and as long as it still has attachment to this world, it will not leave easily and willingly.

Futaba Rio, whose shoulders couldn't stop shaking and whose head was lowered just to hide her embarrassment from the boy, finally released the vulnerability that had been hidden deep in her heart for the past ten years.

Of course she wanted to live too.

Of course, she also wanted to continue participating in the boy's daily life as a friend as before, and there was nothing wrong with keeping a distance throughout her life.

"But...I don't have so many choices..."

If she has to choose between herself and others, she will hesitate at first, and then choose to bear the pain within the range that she can accept - Futaba Rio is actually such a person who is too kind.

But if this "other" is Xing Jianqing, then the word kindness has nothing to do with it.

"...You are the most important person I have ever met in my life, besides my family."

Her voice was still a little trembling, but the emotions she wanted to convey to Xingjian were indeed revealed.

"So, for me it's worth it. That's enough."

She raised her head, trying to smile with ease as usual - but the redness of her eyes, the dark circles that made her look haggard, and her cheeks that had become more mature after ten years of hard work were all visible to the young man in front of her.

"…………"

He remained silent as he stared at the face, not saying anything at first.

Then, he suddenly stretched out his arms.

despair----

“————?”

By the time she realized it, the young man in front of her had already embraced her with some force.

Futaba Rio stood there in a daze, her hands suspended in the air, motionless.

My heart started beating violently, exceeding its original frequency.

"I know that to you, I'm just a guy who looks like someone who passed away ten years ago."

But Xingjian didn't care about the slight changes in her body. He just increased his strength slightly and hugged the person in his arms tighter.

It was as if he was the one who was afraid that the other person would disappear.

"But to me, whether it's you ten years from now, the Futaba I interact with in my daily life, or even the junior high school student sleeping next to you right now... you are all Futaba."

The emotions flickering in the boy's eyes were more complex than ever before - this was a feeling he had originally thought would never happen to him.

"I have no way of treating you differently, and I don't want to do that."

“You, you first…”

Although she is now the adult in terms of biological age, Futaba Rio, whose face has already turned red, is still unable to cope with the situation.

"Let me go first..."

"I won't let go."

"Hey--"

"If Hoshimi Haru hadn't had Futaba Rio by her side from the beginning, she would have ended up being a stranger that she didn't even recognize. So please... don't let that happen to me."

The boy suddenly let go of Futaba when she was already starting to feel less resistance - and instead stared at her somewhat wandering gaze with sincere eyes.

The face in front of him, Rio Futaba, was almost as red as a ripe apple. Although she was much more mature than the person he remembered, she still gave people a very familiar feeling when she was shy.

He didn't think much about it and just hugged her in his arms driven by his body's instinct.

As expected, seeing her lonely and pretending to be strong, my heart couldn't help but ache a little.

He didn't have the energy to figure out whether this feeling should be categorized as friendship or love.

All he knew was—

"I want to live in a world where Futaba Rio exists. If it's not like this, there's no point."

He wanted to avoid his own death, and he didn't want to sacrifice his important people for it.

"I'm really an idiot in love. I've never had a serious relationship. Apart from the occasional heartbeat because of someone's beauty, I've never even had a serious, long-term secret crush. But——"

Xingjian suddenly changed the subject, took a deep breath, and then solemnly expressed his true feelings to Futaba in front of him.

"But I know how you feel about me."

Because he didn't completely let go of Futaba's shoulders, he could feel her body tremble slightly as he said this.

[Futaba Line] Destiny: Chapter 8: A World Without Her (Part 2)

When did Futaba Rio start to develop feelings for the boy named Hoshimiya Haru? Actually, she herself couldn't quite remember.

Was it the time when she was troubled and found that he had severely beaten up the male classmate who harassed her, or was it when she vaguely realized that he from the future was gently soothing her uneasy emotions?

Or maybe it was their first real meeting - near the crowded high school cafeteria, he looked at her, who was starving but didn't want to squeeze into the canteen, and finished the fried noodles and bread in his hand in front of her in a somewhat annoying way. After she clearly expressed her displeasure, he smiled and squeezed into the canteen to buy lunch for her.

Maybe neither, or maybe both.

Only Futaba Rio knew that she had developed some interest in him a long time ago - even longer than Hoshimiya Haru himself knew.

At the beginning, it was just a little interest and goodwill.

What kind of person would fight with his friend for a stranger of the same age?

At first, she was just curious about this. Although she did not take the initiative, she did not resist gradually getting closer to the boy.

They gradually became familiar with each other, which was actually more of a natural process.

The boy, being shameless, would visit her science lab every afternoon after school. Futaba, who was not good at getting along with strangers, rarely did she kick him out immediately, but turned a blind eye and acquiesced to his behavior.

After a few interactions, the two people who originally had nothing in common were gradually able to talk to each other.

Perhaps Hoshimiya Haru never realized that when they were still unfamiliar with each other, Futaba Rio was secretly observing his every move.

Every time he pushed open the door of the science laboratory, he would greet her with a smile, and then start a conversation about the weather like the British, and later Futaba did the same.

He liked to sit by the window in the first row of the laboratory, drinking tea while stretching his palm out of the window, saying that he could feel the warmth of the sun. Later, Futaba did the same.

He always carried a thermos in his schoolbag and said, "Since you don't have tea here, Futaba, I will bring my own from now on." Later, Futaba also prepared tea leaves and tea sets in the laboratory.

He would always mix in some half-truths in his jokes, and later Futaba could read his emotional changes from them.

He seemed simple, just like an ordinary person you could find in everyday life. He would chat with her about ordinary campus gossip, and would also ask about her mood throughout the day with a smile.

At the same time, he seemed complex enough. Sometimes his thoughts could not be solved by the most complicated equations, explained by the most lengthy poems, or proven by the most rigorous science.

Futaba Rio was very curious.

She was very curious about what this person's inner self would be like once he took off his seemingly ordinary appearance.

Perhaps the curiosity to get to know someone is a precursor to falling in love.

At first, Futaba Rio didn't want to admit this, but when she began to realize it, it was no use for her to quibble.

When did I realize my feelings for him?

It could be when I no longer resisted his gentle greetings and daily teasing in my heart, or it could be when he and I were in the same room in the science laboratory, and a sense of security suddenly surged from the bottom of my heart.

——Or maybe it was when the bell rang every time the get out of class ended, I would unconsciously look towards the closed door in the laboratory, looking forward to the sound of someone's footsteps.

When you realize that someone has gradually become an irreplaceable and unique existence in your world, that feeling can already transcend many unspeakable standards.

This is especially true for Futaba Rio, who is not good at categorizing her emotions but is actually extremely sensitive.

All she knew was that she would feel safe with this person by her side.

The sight of him, the smell of him, the sound of his voice—the mind instantly calms and quiets.

Of course, this composure was also tinged with a bit of helplessness and pretense. After all, Futaba Rio still couldn't calmly be friends with him.

More than friends but less than lovers is probably the best description of their relationship.

But if possible, I hope he won't fall in love with others.

“Don’t fall in love with someone else.”

"Don't like anyone else but me."

But saying such words would surely make him very anxious and uneasy.

It was obvious that she had always had different feelings for him, but in his opinion, they were just friends after all.

If this relationship is called love, she will have no objection, but if it is limited to the scope of friendship, she will also be happy to accept it.

Because Futaba Rio never asks for anything - she also feels that she has no right to ask the other person to have the same emotions as herself.

Rather, she had always held the past as a knot in her heart and felt that she was not worthy of Xingjian taking it to heart.

He had a fight with his former friends because of her and was almost expelled from school. Futaba still can't forget this.

This is equivalent to indirectly harming him.

As long as she still cares about this matter, she will never be able to face her feelings for Xingjian calmly.

That would have been fine.

Let's stay together as friends in our precarious daily lives, and tell him when the time is right someday in the future.

——But Xing Jianqing fell into eternal sleep before she could get this chance.

For the next ten years, not a single day in Futaba Rio's life was spent without regret and remorse.

She originally thought that she could still spend a long time with the boy, but in the end it was just a one-sided and self-righteous idea.

Why does this happen?

If I had expressed my feelings earlier, would things have been different?

——For Futaba Rio ten years later, she no longer had the opportunity to express her feelings.

However, the young man in front of him suddenly spoke at this time.

"I know how you feel about me, Futaba... I... I may not be able to sort out my feelings for the time being, but..."

The boy standing so close to her had a hesitant but sincere expression, which was clearly reflected in Futaba's eyes.

He seemed to be holding her hand, and a warm touch came from the place where their fingers touched.

"...Futaba, you are the most important person to me in this world besides my family."

"So please don't take away my important person."

[Futaba Line] Destiny: Chapter 8: A World Without Her (Part 3)

"...Do you understand what you're saying?"

Futaba subconsciously tried to pull her hand out of the boy's palm, but found that she couldn't do it at all——

Because he held her cold wrist tightly, there was no way she could break free.

"If I don't do anything—your life will end that day! I don't want that to happen—"

"……Ok, I know."

Xingjian curled his lips with a complicated expression, but the determination in his eyes remained unchanged.

"But that's something I should be responsible for solving. I shouldn't let you, Futaba, clean up the mess for me."

"Then do you have a better solution? Is there a way for us to coexist and have the best of both worlds? You, you've always made promises that are completely unrealistic—"

"I'll do it."

Xingjian just responded to this indifferently, then gently let go of Futaba's hand and looked at her with gentle and decisive eyes.

"Then, I will go back in time... and find you back then and have a good talk."

"...?"

"At least give me a chance to try, Futaba."

His tone was neither hurried nor slow, and was brisk, yet serious and straightforward.

"If the future I face is a world without you, then there is nothing for me to look forward to. Do you understand?"

"------"

If what Hoshimi said before could still allow Futaba to deceive herself with the "mutual admiration between close friends", his words now completely broke through Futaba's defense.

In fact, Hoshimiya Haru is not a person who is very good at love, and both he and Futaba are very clear about this.