I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Should I take an umbrella with me next time I go out?

Abandon the night sky that has long lost its stars

Chapter 10: Abandoning the Night Sky That Has Long Lost Its Stars

The long-lost bright sunshine shone through the windows that had been washed by rain for three days. I felt even more sleepy under the warm sunshine because I had stayed up late at night.

........

Now, it is clearly class time, but I am on the playground.

If you must ask me the reason, it's just a trivial matter that is not worth mentioning.

I was punished to run because I slept in class, that's all.

However, running ten laps is a bit unreasonable, and I looked at the track on the playground, which is about 400 meters. How much precious energy does that consume? Isn't it usually just a flick of the forehead?

I looked back upstairs and saw Brother Nan staring at me from the window. I didn't dare to hesitate any longer and had to move my legs, which I didn't want to move at all.

Ah, so tired.

By the third lap, I was beginning to feel a sharp pain in my chest, rhythmically punctuated by my breathing. If I continued like this, I would collapse and die. For someone like me who lacks exercise, this kind of exercise was practically a death sentence.

I pulled my attention away and glanced at the upstairs window. Brother Nan wasn't standing there looking in. The best thing to do now was to find a place to hide.

Thinking of this, I struggled to run to the back hill connected to the playground.

Although I have heard of this place from my seniors, this is my first time here.

The area was filled with trees I couldn't name, and even though it was autumn, there were still many leaves on the branches. The sunlight shone through the gaps between the leaves, leaving bright spots on the ground. It was so quiet that it felt like I had strayed into a deserted area.

I continued walking inside, only hearing my own still-rough breathing and the sound of my feet stepping on fallen leaves and dead branches. I saw a corner of the pavilion peeking out from between the branches not far away, and I couldn't help but think of resting there.

The closer you get, the more you can see clearly.

This is a very ordinary pavilion in the style of ancient times. It is so ordinary that there is no other word in my mind to describe it except ordinary.

As I got closer, I realized that I was not the only one here.

Ah, maybe I really am the only one.

I should have called her something else.

She was sitting outside the pavilion, pencil in hand, sketching something on a drawing board. Her waist-length hair swayed softly as she drew the lines with the pencil. Spots of light fell on her, adding an ethereal quality to her already remarkable demeanor.

When she raised her head and looked at the sunlight pouring through the gaps in the leaves, her slightly melancholy purple eyes were revealed, sparkling in the sunlight.

Should I call her... Elf?

Whether it is the beautiful face or the outstanding temperament that has never been seen before, coupled with the mystery of an accidental encounter, it is worthy of the name "elf".

The meticulous attention to detail of the ribbons and buttons on her uniform gave her a serious look. Her knee-high white stockings clung to her slender legs, accentuating her already graceful figure.

I didn't know whether to go forward or turn around and leave until she noticed me standing there in a daze.

She didn't show any sign of panic or vigilance, but smiled at me and then greeted me:

"Hello."

"Hello," I returned the greeting and then asked, "Excuse me, may I sit there?"

"Sure, don't be afraid, I'm not a bad person." After saying that, he laughed to himself.

If you are a bad person, then I must have already committed unforgivable crimes. Thinking of this, I sat down in the pavilion because I could see what she was painting and avoid looking at her face while talking.

For some reason, I always feel that my heartbeat speeds up when I look at her face and talk to her.

I looked at her drawing board. A large part of the paper was blackened, and I couldn't tell what was drawn on it.

"Hmm..." Although I hesitated, I couldn't help but ask her what she was drawing. But unexpectedly, when I was about to speak, she asked me first:

"Did you skip class too?"

Surprisingly open... or too naive?

"Um...well...I guess so." I suddenly remembered that I seemed to still be in class and hadn't finished the punishment run yet, but this was still different from simply skipping class.

This is just laziness.

"Why do you want to skip class?" I asked.

"Well..." She stopped drawing, put her pencil against her chin, hesitated, and didn't answer. Instead, she asked me, "Why did you skip class?"

Although there is nothing shameful about being punished for sleeping in class, such a reason is too common, and it is not good to expose one's own shortcomings.

After a brief thought, I replied, "Because I've hit a creative bottleneck, and today's sunny, I'm looking around to see if I can find some inspiration..." Then I added, "Maybe I've already found it."

"Oh? Really? Congratulations." She turned around and smiled at me. I couldn't find any words to describe the charm of that smile.

I could clearly feel my heart beating violently, even more violently than when I was running laps.

At this moment, I had no idea how to answer her, because for some reason I was so excited that my brain might short-circuit and say something unreasonable. I could only wait silently for her to bring up the topic.

"As for me," she began slowly, "I seem to be a strange person. I always get ahead of other students when practicing painting."

"..."

"If I exist, they seem to feel a lot of pressure. I wonder if I am causing trouble for them."

"So I decided to run away from art training and practice on my own." After saying that, she seemed to smile, "Don't you think I'm weird?" she asked me.

"No," I looked at the ground, not daring to look her in the eye. "People are always different. What's wrong with doing what you should do? Besides, it's not surprising that you're better than others."

"But, if you do that, it will make other people feel bad..."

"No matter how outstanding or lovable a person is, if some people like them, there will always be others who hate them. It's like where there is light there is shadow, it's inevitable no matter what." I felt inexplicably agitated. "Human jealousy is like this. If you're ordinary and a group of people are ordinary, you can't stand the fact that there are people who are different in the group. You made the right choice by choosing to stay away from them."

"....That's not true, everyone is a very nice person." She actually corrected me.

A good person? I really don't know the definition of a good person. Even I'm not sure if I'm a good person. However, she really trusts others too much. If you are so defenseless, it is very dangerous. Very, very dangerous.

"In short, I support your choice."

"Well, thank you." She was silent for a moment, then said, "I want you to see this."

What? I looked up and found that she had already held the sketchpad in front of me.

At first glance it's all black and you have no idea what's being painted. But if you look closely, you can still see that her painting is very good. She has captured the image of sunlight filtering through the gaps in the leaves very well on the drawing paper, which would be difficult for ordinary people to do.

"Even though I don't quite understand it, I still think it's a very good drawing. Is it the gaps between the leaves?"

"Yeah, that's right." She gave me an approving smile.

"Actually, I wanted to draw the starry sky, but you can't see any stars at night here."

When he said this, there was a hint of melancholy in his eyes.

Starry sky?

Indeed, this is a city. Due to air pollution and neon lights at night, the already faint starlight has long been hidden under the civilization that humans are proud of. Thinking about it this way, it is really sad.

"That's true. When I was a kid, I could still see stars in the night sky. But I could only recognize the Big Dipper as a constellation. Maybe it's because there was a person named Big Dipper in the special effects drama I watched when I was a kid." I couldn't help but smile, and the image of Big Dipper appeared in my mind.

"Then I grew up and saw many things, but I never looked at the stars that I could see just by looking up. Now when I realize it, I can no longer see them."

Ah, I've been feeling sad for a while now. I feel a little embarrassed. I looked at her with some uneasiness.

She seemed to be looking at me very excitedly, and the melancholy in her eyes was swept away. I don’t know if it was an illusion, but I felt that her eyes were shining.

"Well...well," her cheeks were flushed, and her tone was not as calm as before, "No...nothing else meant. If there is a chance in the future, would you...would you like to go to see the stars with me?" After saying that, she stared at me with a look full of expectation.

Facing such passionate gazes, I couldn't help but turn my head to the side and replied:

"Well, it's not impossible..."

"Great," she walked over to me, "Nice to meet you. I'm Ye Hui from Class 6, Grade 1. I really, really love the starry sky."

"Ah... I'm Yi Sheji from Class 3, Grade 1. I really, really like giving up." I imitated her sentence structure to introduce myself to her.

"Giving up...seems like a good word." She said with a smile.

"You're the second person who thinks this word is good." I laughed too.

After all, being recognized is a very happy thing.

"You won't be the first one, will you?"

"Who else could it be if not me?"

"That's right. Well, with a starless night sky like this, it's best to just give up!"

"Yeah, just give up."

Even if you give up the starless night sky, you can still find a place where you can still see them.

The stars are there no matter what happens.

The starlight, which has been drifting in the universe for who knows how long, is looking forward to an encounter that spans thousands of years.

Can I give up my unnecessary prejudice? I can't be a real person.

Chapter 11 Can I give up my unnecessary prejudice? I can't be a real person.

There is still a week left until the National Day holiday on October 1st. I had planned to take this opportunity to catch up on some anime and update my novels at home, and at the same time improve my game rank, but a booklet that was handed to me ruthlessly shattered my fantasy.

"Is this... a travel brochure?"

At first I didn’t realize what this thing represented. I thought it was just a flyer and didn’t take it seriously. I even planned to throw it away after a while.

At this time, Liu Yan turned around and asked me excitedly, "How is it? Sheji, are you excited?"

"Huh? What's exciting or not?"

It's really incomprehensible. Could it be that this guy's estrus ignores the season?

"Of course it's a training camp! A training camp!" He held up the booklet in front of me. "It's the training camp organized by the school during the National Day holiday!"

"Ha!? Are you kidding me?" On the one hand, I couldn't believe that such an anime plot would happen to me, and on the other hand, I questioned the school's generosity in spending money.

"Are you really stupid or just pretending? Didn't you see it written in the booklet?" Liu Yan said as he flipped open a page and placed it on the table. "Look, it clearly states the meeting time and place, as well as the contents of the tour."

Ah...it really is. Although it is not a famous tourist attraction, you can still see the school's intentions.

"Can I not participate?"

Even though it seemed impossible, I asked anyway.

"Of course not, because we have to pay various fees, and the school will definitely not let us not participate." Liu Yan looked indifferent.

"Ah..." It felt so troublesome. The whole school had to go, and it was the National Day holiday. There would be traffic jams, of course, and I would have to stay with so many people. Just thinking about it made me feel exhausted.

I was thinking about whether to find an excuse to avoid this training camp, when suddenly someone called me

"Hey, Yi Sheji, there's a girl looking for you."

"Sister?!" After hearing this, Liu Yan actually reacted before me, "Sheji! When did you..."

"I don't know either. Maybe I found the wrong person or something..."

"Of course not!"

A voice with a slightly mischievous and joyful tone sounded. I recognized this voice. It was the girl I met in the back mountain a few days ago, Ye Hui.

When I turned around, something poked my face. It was Ye Hui's finger. She was standing in front of me with a smile on her face.

"Hehe, how could I recognize the wrong person?"

Wait, this atmosphere isn't right? And what's with all this intimate behavior? This is Class 3, Grade 1, right? Why is Ye Hui here?

By this time she had withdrawn her hand that was poking my face and was staring at me.

"Ye...Yehui, what...what are you doing here?" I was actually a little incoherent.

But this is not my fault, because Ye Hui coming to see me was really beyond my expectation, and what worried me more was the atmosphere in the class.

This group of people seems to regard close boys and girls as having a different kind of relationship as soon as they see them standing together, and boys are often labeled as the source of all evil.

"Of course it's something important!" She moved closer to me. "Do you remember the agreement?"

Seeing her serious expression, I quickly remembered the agreement.