I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

“...The arcade is a really nice place...”

"..."

After trying so many games and expressing my indifference, he still said this calmly... Is he trying to comfort me? That's really considerate.

But to be on the safe side, I still asked "Why do you feel that way?"

"Well... there are a lot of people here, and there are a lot of sounds, music and so on. It feels good to mix them together..."

"..."

Wow...Isn't that a bit odd? So, what's so interesting about the characteristics I just mentioned?

"It makes you feel less lonely, after all. Your ears are filled with irrelevant sounds, and it feels like all the troubles in your head are pushed aside."

“…”

What is this? It sounds like it makes sense.

"Well, isn't that why Sheji likes this place?"

"..."

"of course not"

"Oh, I see." She nodded and stared at me blankly for a moment, "...You really are a weirdo."

I knew it! I knew this was going to come out. Why? Why does it feel like she's judging me from the perspective of someone who comes here often?

"...Hmm." I scratched my hair irritably.

Forget it. We're almost done with the games here anyway, so it's time to move on to the next place.

"Wait, what is that?"

"Um?"

I paused as she walked, then followed her gaze to see what interested her.

"Why put a puppet in a machine?"

"..."

Logically, that shouldn't belong in a game console. But it wouldn't be out of place in an arcade. However, as a kid, I didn't have the spare cash to spend on a stuffed animal. I figured it was better to play games than to spend money on a stuffed animal that looked effeminate and would betray my time at the arcade.

That’s right, what caught her attention was the claw machine that was so cliché that it was almost being ignored.

“…How pitiful.”

"..."

Why would I have such an exclamation just by seeing a claw machine... Well, it seems now that I still don't understand her at all.

Why bother talking to yourself

Why put the puppet into the machine?

Aside from naive children, most people wouldn't question this question. And the answer is obvious... so you can throw your coin in. No, normally, the word "throw" should be "waste." That's right, you're wasting your coin.

“Crack—”

I'm all too familiar with the sound of game coins dropping into the slot. But now I think about it, the moment I hand the money over to the shopkeeper, it's already gone. Sometimes I do take unused game coins home, but the patterns and text on them are so simple they lack collectible value, so I just use them up in my next game.

So when I first saw Yuta using in-game coins to leave a message, hoping his future significant other would awaken the Dark Flame Dragon for him (from "Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions"), my first reaction wasn't the slightly nauseating anime plot, but rather envy of the different patterns on game coins in arcades in that country. If every store in my part of the world had its own coin design, I'd probably have another item in my collection. But right now, it seems my biggest collection is probably comic books.

"Ah, I caught it, awesome."

I heard June's exclamation in my ears.

That's right, I'm starting to wonder where she actually came from. I feel like Rinsenkawa has far more common sense than her, and she wouldn't make such a fuss. Well, while I don't have a big objection, I'd still be embarrassed if others saw it.

It feels like I paid for some online trolls.

"Uh-huh."

But thanks to her, I was able to get rid of the random thoughts just now and focus all my attention on the claw machine.

I saw the metal mechanical claws weakly covering the puppet's head, then weakly contracting, and then weakly pulling it up, but because it was too weak, the puppet fell directly to the ground without even hanging in the air.

Don’t blame me for focusing on the “powerlessness”, the real reason is that this machine is simply not powerful enough.

"..."

There's no way you can catch this thing. It's like trying to clear a hidden level at level 1 wearing white gear. It would be a miracle if you could clear it.

"It didn't work... What a shame."

She tilted her head and smiled at me.

Please don't do that. Isn't that asking me to try again? This machine is so unfair... I'm already pissed after just one use. It's so much more fun to play the game console next to me...

"...Um..."

Well, there's still a lot of coins left. It'll probably take a long time for the two of us to use them all up, and it doesn't look like there's any way to refund them. Ugh, this feels like buying in-game coupons with real money...

“Crack—”

If that's the case, there's no harm in trying again. After all, there are still so many chances (coins), even if it depends on luck, there will always be a chance to get it.

"Come on~"

Uh...wait, why do I feel that the thought just now has a subtle sense of familiarity?

"Uh-huh."

Forget it. It's a waste in the eyes of others and in my opinion. If it's a waste, then it's a good choice to just go along with this incomprehensible guy.

Chapter 19: Why bother with talking to yourself

Why put the puppet into the machine?

Perhaps it's simply for the sake of making money. However, it feels different from putting it on a shelf with a price tag. Stuffed into that space, the only way anyone can get it is by clawing... It seems to leave everything to luck, and luck can't be measured in money.

"Tsk."

Sheji, who was twisting the joystick in front of me, suddenly smacked his lips in dissatisfaction. As I was concentrating, I noticed that the puppet had fallen from its paw again, slightly offset from its previous position.

It seems like I failed again.

"..."

Ah, he turned around and looked at me. At that moment, his eyes revealed a rather helpless expression... To be honest, I don't seem to know what the normal reaction should be.

But there's nothing wrong with smiling.

"...Um."

He seemed to understand after seeing my reaction, and then he picked up the coin and put it into the machine. ...Actually, I didn't say anything, but if I had to say it, I did want that doll a little bit... Oh, did I actually want it?

“…”

Looking at the puppet being gradually pulled up, my eyes became dull again.

Maybe it just feels a bit like me.

Being trapped by glass is much better than being trapped by airtight walls, at least that's what I think. If I'm trapped here, at least I can see how many people pass by me, and how many people try to rescue me from this space. More importantly, there's no annoying darkness.

“…Ah, ah…”

It sounded quite annoyed.

If I'm not mistaken, the boy named Sheji has just experienced another failure in catching dolls.

"Well?"

"I suspect this machine has been tampered with. It can't catch anything at all."

"...Is that so?" Although my eyes subconsciously turned to the mechanical claw, I couldn't see any clues at all. "If that's the case..."

It’s better to give up then.

I originally wanted to say this, but when my gaze shifted to those puppets, I couldn't speak.

"...Um..."

“Crack—”

"Eh?"

The sound of a coin being inserted echoed again. It came, of course, from the machine in front of me. Standing before it was a boy named Sheji, who, though seemingly scratching his head in frustration, seemed incredibly serious when it came to the crucial moment of placing his claws.

"Well...if they really did something..."

As I was speaking, he failed to grab it again.

"I think I'd better forget it...I don't really want it."

I'm not sure if this statement is a lie. Even to this day, I still haven't figured out what I love. After going through all those trivial things... I feel like I've calmed down enough to accept anything. So... whether I gain or lose, I shouldn't care.

“Crack—”

He ignored me and put in the coin again.

"....that..."

"Don't worry, I've figured it out."

Thinking he might not have heard me, I was about to say it again when he suddenly raised the phone screen with this sentence written on it in front of me.

"...Huh? That's not what I'm talking about..."

However, the next moment, the puppet broke free from the claws and fell down.

“Crack—”

Without saying anything, he put in the coin again.

"..."

Is this normal? I don't understand. Since I already know there's something wrong with the machine and I'm not good at it, why would I still do something I know is useless?

"...What a weirdo."

I looked at his back and muttered to myself.

"Uh?"

Then I received his puzzled look.

I actually turned around... Was he heard because I was so loud? Well, that's the truth. Compared to the people around me, he definitely gives me a different vibe, so calling him a weirdo is probably fair.

Anyway, since I've already heard it, I might as well just play with him.

"Um...can I try it too?"

It seems that it is more appropriate not to describe it

There are too many things I care about.

This is something I suddenly realized. Perhaps it's because of all the experiences I've had over the years, or perhaps it's because I've changed so much compared to before. But when it comes to games, what's the current state of my understanding?

“Crack—”

I don't recall ever inserting coins so frequently. Even with the joystick's upper grip removed and the keycaps stripped off, I was still able to play the game with gusto and maintain it for a long time. So, even if the machine has problems, it doesn't mean it can't be used properly.

“Crack—”

So, the reason I'm still persevering isn't because of that troublesome girl. And I don't seem like the type to go all out just for a girl I just met. Ultimately, it's just a habit of making things difficult for myself. It's fine if I don't do it, but when I'm determined to accomplish something and it's actually difficult, I subconsciously force myself to do it, using every advantage I have around me, no matter how many times I try.

“Crack—”

Ah, I think I'm exaggerating a bit. As someone who often gives up, I'm actually saying how many times I'll try to do something I've decided on... Well, maybe that only exists in the gaming world. I definitely try to complete a level more often than I try to solve a single problem. And the reason for that can be summed up simply by saying that games are more fun than homework.

“Crack—”

Putting aside the question of whether this machine was actually tampered with, even if it was, what would it matter? Facing a scripted opponent, wouldn't it be a great sense of accomplishment if you could defeat them? And wouldn't it be fun to overcome it yourself?

Chapter 20: It seems that it is more appropriate not to describe it

"Ah."