I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Silently, I took out a lunch box.

"Perhaps it's not to your taste... Well, I can't listen to either compliments or opinions right now. I can only shamelessly assume that you'll find it delicious."

“Ding Di—Buzz…”

The microwave started up. Then, I found a playing card with the number three on it there, too.

"Let's get back to the point. After a long period of reflection, I found myself slowly getting used to the time spent doing nothing. When I focus on the game... time really flies by. But before I realize it, I've wasted too much time... and how much could I have accomplished with that time?"

“Beep—”

The bento has been heated up and a fragrant aroma wafts in the air.

"I didn't know about that until I recently found that map... Ah, speaking of this, please forgive me for lying. Actually, there is a note on it... I originally thought it was written by my father, but later I found out it wasn't."

"Well..."

I picked up the slightly hot lunch box and sat on the sofa again. However, the picture was not of Ling Shen, but the scenery I had taken a picture of earlier.

"These locations correspond to those on the map. According to the notes... these are places I once visited with my father. And the original intention was... to change someone. Perhaps this map exists only for me, who stumbled upon it."

"........"

"I want to thank you for accompanying me, just like a simple imitation... to those places. Thanks to you, I made up my mind to change myself."

The sun rises from the horizon.

"I put a lot of effort into taking this picture...and it suddenly occurred to me that photography might be a good thing."

"Uh...uh..."

Did the stew sit in the fridge for too long? It always seems like it doesn't taste very good. But the effort involved is worth it...

"Whether it's just a matter of course or a whim... I've always wanted to win you over. I realized you were a great guy the moment you tried to persuade me not to leave. If possible, I'd like to spend my whole life with you. It's not impossible."

"...!"

I looked at the screen. But the picture was still a landscape.

"Aha, is this considered a confession?"

"......"

"But it seems I can't do that right now. Compared to that, I haven't done anything worth boasting about, so I want to try and achieve something. Speaking of which, I usually can't beat you... but this time, I won. You should have noticed that, right?"

"...Of course."

If I hadn't noticed, why would I... come to a place like this?

"Ayasan 'Zero Three' has disappeared."

"......"

"Well, well, I know you don't like farewells. After all, you didn't come the last time I went back. So, I'm not going to tell you this time."

"...But you still told me..."

"As for that house, I'll leave the key to you and Ye Jin for safekeeping for now."

“…”

"It probably won't be long. High school, college, maybe even graduate school... well, time will pass by in a flash."

"...You have a profound misunderstanding of time..."

"Anyway, wait until I get back."

"..."

I'll wait.

By that time, I will definitely investigate the matter of your cheating... and tell you.

This round doesn’t count, let me start over.

Then please continue.

When no one else knew his value, I was the only one who discovered the shining light in him.

I'm somewhat lucky to have met this guy whose words are incomprehensible most of the time. Even though he sometimes says things that make me angry, if I think about it carefully, those words may be his unique way of expressing his feelings.

"What do you think about this?"

From simply asking for his opinion at the beginning, I gradually developed new ideas.

I don't know when I will win over him once.

Perhaps it's essentially just a mask for low self-esteem. As the saying goes, the moon is bright and the stars are sparse... If the light around you is too bright, you can't see your own radiance. In my free time, I ponder my own worth, and I realize... I'm nowhere near that person.

So, just once. I want to beat him just once, even if it's just luck...

"Let's make a bet."

I don't know when it started, but I've been putting my thoughts into a different form. Knowing I couldn't win by intelligence or knowledge, I pinned my hopes on luck.

"...OK."

He didn't refuse.

"What do you want to bet on?"

Instead, he asked with a little interest.

"future."

"...?"

"What are the differences and similarities between the future you envision and the future I envision? I want to know..." His eyes fell on the map we had almost completed. "What will the places we've visited look like in the future? How about we write down our different perspectives in a notebook and then come back later to verify them together?"

As I said this, I took out the notebook I had prepared long ago.

"...Are you serious?"

This was the first time he showed any sign of hesitation.

"What, you don't dare anymore? Are you afraid of losing?"

Simple provocation method.

"It's not a question of winning or losing." He looked a little forlorn. "It's just that the future is full of uncertainties... Especially things like fate... It often differs from what we imagine, and can even go the other way."

"Don't be so pedantic," I interrupted him impatiently. "Those are things to consider later. Wouldn't it be foolish to think about things so far in the future now?"

"...So I'm just talking to an idiot who's thinking about a future showdown?" He asked, then smiled unkindly. "Whatever. I know you're never capable of serious thinking... I'll just go with your gut this time."

As he spoke, he picked up the pen.

"By the way, if none of us come back, who will determine the winner?"

I don't know why he asked that. But if you think about it...it seems like a question.

"...If I have children then...it wouldn't be a problem if I had them come and see it."

It feels a bit strange to bring up this topic. Thinking about marriage right now is a bit...

"Haha, I didn't expect you to be so short-sighted. You've actually thought so far ahead in this regard."

"Shut up, you were the one who asked first."

No matter when, he would always find an opportunity to say one or two strange words.

"Well, no more jokes."

Suddenly he regained his seriousness.

"Actually, I do enjoy imagining the future. The unknown is so alluring... but the uncertainty makes me worry about my future. I want to leave this place, but I'm also reluctant to leave... This conflicting feeling, with all sorts of indescribable feelings, perhaps this is the pressure."

....Yes, after all, the exam that will change our destiny will come soon.

"The last time I thought about this kind of thing was a year ago, and now it's already here..." He was stunned for a moment and couldn't help laughing.

"Maybe...time flies by so quickly."

Then please continue

There is no so-called favor.

If there really is a God, he must be a very malicious one. Just as he exacerbates droughts with increased temperatures and sends continuous rain during floods, we, sitting in the exam hall, are like steamed buns in a steamer, suffering the torment of the intense heat and waves.

No...at least the buns don't have to think about anything, they just have to get steamed. All we have to think about is how to fill the test paper before we get steamed.

"Boom."

With a muffled sound, the candidate not far away lost consciousness and fell on the desk.

“Ah, it’s steamed.”

I thought to myself, suppressing my curiosity about the exam and not looking over there. If I was accused of cheating... I might as well pass out from the heat.

So, like the two before him, the warrior who had just fallen was also carried out, and said goodbye to his dream.

Perhaps... the questions on the test paper no longer mattered. Being able to persevere was what mattered most.

...Don't fall down.

Praying silently for him, I looked again at the question that was gradually becoming blurred in my vision.

...............

"I made it through."

The moon is bright and the stars are sparse. I sit on the lawn in the wild and enjoy the coolness of the night.

"Yeah... a lot of people have fallen."

He sighed with me.

"To celebrate...would you like to make a bet with me?"

I said with a smile.

"...What are you betting on?"

. . . . .

Maybe I shouldn't have made that bet with him at all.

After learning his unconvincing score, I thought this as I ran towards his house. Although it was only a short distance away... I always felt like... I was falling behind.

"Ah, you're here."

He was sitting on the steps at the door. When he didn't see me, his eyes were empty and I didn't know what he was thinking.

He looked quite haggard compared to before. He didn't know if it was because of him or his parents, but it looked like he hadn't slept all night.

"...There's definitely something wrong..."

We later confirmed our answers. All in all, his grades were probably a level higher than mine... In other words, even with financial difficulties, he should still be able to get in as an exception and receive a scholarship... I've already learned all this from my dad.

However, the scores he received now were pitifully low.

"I know there's a problem... everyone knows there's a problem... but the question is, what can be done about it?"

What remained unchanged in his haggard eyes was his composure. I had no idea what he was thinking about, or how long he had consoled himself before regaining that composure.

"..."

"Fortunately... my parents didn't stop me from going out. Working in a city where distant relatives live... is one way out."

He sneered.

"Actually... there's no need to rush to leave... If we give it another year... we'll definitely be able to do it, right? The place you want to go isn't that place..."

I don't know how to continue.

"That's not necessary."

At this point, I finally understood. It wasn't that his parents didn't try to stop him...it was just that he got this result after arguing and compromising.

"...I see."

The future he'd been worrying about... the fate he'd been referring to... was this what he was referring to? While the specifics weren't clear, it was certain that his grades had been replaced through some means. Furthermore, without the proper channels, it would be difficult to investigate... After all, someone capable of such a thing was undoubtedly not an ordinary person. Even if they did find out... they would likely use their power to suppress it.