I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

There isn't one at all, so the school might as well explode.

[Yan Xiaoye, a literary girl who hates campus life, has a completely disgusted attitude towards campus today.]

Chapter 36 [Memories] The Dilemma of Being Close Yet Distant

The slightly cool morning breeze caressed my face, which finally lifted my sluggish mood a little. Speaking of which, it's already spring, a season of revival, but I still can't resist the urge to wake up early.

"Ah~~~"

I put my hand over my mouth and yawned without restraint. If I hadn't finished reading the novel in one sitting yesterday and realized it was already late, and then rushed to finish homework until midnight, I might be more energetic now.

“…”

I checked my phone. It was 6:23 AM. If I quickened my pace, I could get to class before 6:30 AM. Mom probably still wasn't up by then... I wondered if she'd even remembered what I'd mentioned to her at dinner yesterday.

"Um...Mom, I want to ask you something."

I was a little worried, so of course I couldn't pick up my chopsticks without hesitation when facing the food in front of me.

"Well, what's the matter? Do you have a boy you like and want to tell mom?" Looking at her words, she had already started eating without a care in the world.

"It's not about that!" Why do you always have to bring up this kind of thing first?

"Huh? Did their phone get taken away again? But I don't want to go to school anymore. It's so troublesome..." She looked distressed. "I'm very busy at work and your dad isn't home. It's really troublesome to ask for leave to go to your school."

"No, no, it's not about the phone."

"Oh, that's great."

"...What I want to ask you is what position you hold in the company."

"Hmm? Why are you asking this all of a sudden..." She looked at me warily, "Are you trying to gauge our family's income? In other words... is the person you like from a wealthy family?"

"I told you it's not that kind of thing!" Why is it so difficult to have a serious conversation with her?

"Okay...don't be angry. I'm a relatively prestigious editor, so my monthly salary isn't too low."

"I'm not interested in your income. I just want to ask you for a favor." I took out my phone and showed her the novel. "Isn't this novel serialized on your company's website?"

"Hmm... Let me take a look." She took my phone. "It looks like it is, but this author's level is too low. We don't pay attention to authors like that, unless they become very popular within a short period of time. In that case, we will ask the author if they want to become a contracted author and then promote their work to another better platform."

"Is this so..."

So this is the operating rules...

"So, can you find the author? Contact information or something?"

"It's impossible to find it, but the contact information is no problem. Because authors who submit works to us must at least fill out their own contact information, but it will not be made public. If you want to know, you have to go to the company to check... What's wrong?" "I think the content of this novel is very good, so I want to see the sequel as soon as possible... But he hasn't written it in two months, and I heard that the initial response was good."

"Let me see..." she said, scrolling down through the comments. "Oh... That shouldn't be the case. If he had this much popularity, we would have immediately sent him an inquiry email and encouraged him to sign a contract with us."

"Hmm...So what's going on with him?"

"Who knows? Maybe it was just a whim." She nodded a few times. "There are many authors like this who abandon a book after writing part of it, so this kind of thing is not uncommon... Ah, the writing is indeed quite good..."

"And our teacher looked at it and said he might be a high school student."

"High school students? Hmm... Interesting." Suddenly, a smile appeared on my mother's face. It felt a little... unusual.

"Anyway, I want him to continue writing. Please help me get his contact information." No matter what, it is better to put forward your request first.

"Well...it's possible." Mom looked at it for a few more seconds and handed the phone back to me. "But are you sure you can get him to start writing again?"

"...I'm not sure. After all, we haven't spoken yet. How can I be so sure?"

"Well, if there's a way to get this person to start writing books again, then maybe I can come up with that plan." She said almost to herself.

"Hmm? What's the plan?" I asked briefly because I was suspicious.

"Nothing... well, it's probably okay to tell you. Actually, we've been planning to promote a book that's a bit different from the current industry mainstream to attract attention, and this book fits the bill perfectly. Plus, since he's a high school student, the title of 'genius high school writer' will naturally come to him. If we can get his consent, we can directly invest in his book, which would be a win-win situation."

"...Isn't it a bit too easy?" Is publishing a book such a simple thing?

"No problem. Directly releasing an animation to boost novel sales, and holding meet-and-greets and concerts to boost voice actor popularity are common practices in the industry. As long as the animation has a gimmick, whether it's broken or well-made, as long as people can discuss it, it's a success. And as long as the voice actors are handsome or cute, it's fine. Ultimately, selling books these days depends not only on the author's basic skills, but also on the company's packaging, and of course, on generating hype when necessary. And as long as sales are high, the packaging costs can be earned back."

"...But...I just want him to continue writing books."

"That's even easier said than done. As long as he agrees to write a book and signs a contract with us, he'll receive royalties. If sales are good, he'll publish a second or even more books. If there's money to be made, there's motivation to write books. Who wouldn't want to be against money?"

"...Then...if I can contact him, I'll try to convince him."

"Oh, then I'll ask tomorrow."

'

"Is this really okay..."

Let's not talk about whether this plan can be implemented. If it is implemented... then the book will be seen by more people, and his talent will be discovered by more people... This should be a good thing. But why use the word "main promotion"? Does it mean that any decent book can be made famous through this method? I always feel a sense of fraud. But if the author can continue to maintain this kind of plot or the quality is a little higher, then it will be worthy of the popularity that seems to be created.

"..I don't know if this counts as cheating..."

I have arrived at the school gate now, and my mind is still full of things.

. . . . . . . . . .

"I was almost late. I'll be more careful next time."

"OK..."

After a brief talk with the homeroom teacher, I entered the classroom. As I was taking my textbooks out of my bag and putting them in my desk drawer, I suddenly noticed something stuck between the books I'd left there yesterday.

“…”

Out of curiosity, I took it out and realized it was a pink envelope. It had no name on it... I felt like I'd seen this design somewhere before.

“.....!”

I quickly shoved it deep into my desk drawer and looked around. It was morning self-study time, and many people were slumped over their desks or sleeping with books covering their faces, so no one seemed to notice anything unusual about me.

“.....” “Plop—plop—”

The heart beat faster.

I just saw the envelope. But based on my years of watching anime, it wasn't a prank envelope; it had to be an envelope. Because schools here don't have shoe boxes as a default place for love letters like in neighboring countries, the only place to sneak a love letter in is in the desk drawer, which is unattended after school.

...What...what should I do?

I had never thought about falling in love, nor had I ever thought about experiencing love, but still, in the high school campus that I already hated, I received an object that looked like a love letter.

.............

[ Give:

Xiaoye

When I came to my senses, I realized that I cared about you very much. If you are interested in knowing more about me, please wait for me on the rooftop after school today.

(I opened the rooftop, no one knows)]

I secretly ran to the bathroom at noon to open it, and found that it seemed to be a love letter. I was very concerned...

"Hey hey hey... I care..."

What's the point of this? Is it my face? Actually, it's not cute, and I'm not that tall either... It's just that my breasts look a little better than others... No, no, no, that's not the real issue! I've always hated high school, but why would something like this happen? It's completely unexpected... What the hell? It doesn't make sense at all, it's like cheating... What should I do? Should I do as the letter says and go to the rooftop after school to wait for that person? But... I don't know what to do. If I'm in love...

"It's just a love letter....Relax."

I persuaded myself not to be nervous.

And the other party is definitely not someone who knows much about this, so it’s okay to just take a look. If necessary, just find a chance to leave.

"Just go...what else can you do..."

Thinking of this, I folded the letter in half and put it in my pocket.

. . . . . . . .

It turns out that if you have too many thoughts, your brain will inevitably freeze and go blank. When I came to my senses, it was already time for school to end. So, the time for our appointment had also arrived...

"Gu..."

Don't be afraid, it's just a meeting. Thinking this, I packed my things and headed for the stairs leading to the rooftop. I even avoided pedestrians to avoid being seen... Anyway, after a bit of a mental test, I successfully reached the rooftop, and the door to the rooftop, which I'd always thought was locked, was actually open.

“…”

In other words, the person who sent the letter is here.

"Don't be afraid... Don't be afraid..." Other people's first reaction is nervousness and shyness, but why does it become fear for me?

Anyway, after thinking of some random things and cheering myself up, I walked towards the rooftop.

[Hu——Hu——]

The wind from above blew up my bangs, which made me close my eyes slightly and I had no time to care whether there was anyone on the rooftop.

"..Xiao...Ye classmate, you are here."

A nervous and trembling voice came from not far to my right. I couldn't tell who it was, and it didn't seem like someone from our class.

"...Ah, um, may I ask... who are you?"

The wind finally died down, and I turned to see the person speaking to me. He wasn't as athletic as the guys in the gym, but rather had a more average build. His hair wasn't messy, but he didn't have any distinctive features. His voice was pleasant. If he could develop voice acting skills in the future, perhaps... Wait, what am I thinking... This is the moment I'm going to be confessed to.

"I... I'm from the class next door... Um, I... seem to like you, Xiaoye..." He suddenly paused when he said this, probably because he was too shy and nervous about his first confession.

but...

"Well..."

I looked at his flushed face, but found that I didn't feel any fluctuation in my heart. If you ask me why... it's probably because this scene is different from what I imagined. In other words... I didn't seem to regard it as a confession, because I didn't understand him, let alone like him.

"...Can you date me?"

After he finished speaking, he bowed his head deeply, as if awaiting a verdict, waiting for my response.

"...I see."

I can't seem to respond to this with a "yes" or "no" because...

"Hey? Know...what does it mean?"

He looked up in confusion.

"Ah... well... I do understand your feelings... and I'm happy that you like me. Plus, this is the first time someone has written a love letter to me... but I still can't agree to it. I'm sorry."

"...No, no, no, it's okay. I should be the one to apologize! Because this was really too sudden, and it wasted your time."

"That's not the case... Well, my time isn't that valuable. And I said so much when it only needed a simple reply. I'm sure it's causing you more heartache. I'm truly sorry!"

"Not at all. If I had rejected you directly, I would have been really heartbroken... But Xiaoye, what you said... really comforted me, so I still want to thank you."

"I don't dare... I just don't know how to refuse others properly..."

“I’m also wrong…”

"Where, where..."

"..."

I just feel like... this doesn't seem like a normal relationship at all. Sure enough, it's better if this high school doesn't exist.

............

"I am back."

I don't know how to process what I've been through. It was perfectly normal to receive a love letter, but then I apologized for rejecting it. But the other person seemed inexperienced, so he could have just walked away. Why did he keep apologizing to me? Is this person delusional?

"Oh, welcome back, daughter." Mom seemed to have been waiting for me for a long time. As soon as I walked in, she couldn't wait to call me, "You seem to be back a little late today. Did you take a detour?"

"...No, there isn't."

Even though we didn't end up in a relationship, I still feel a little hot on my face when it's brought up. I don't think it's because I'm shy, but rather because I feel a little embarrassed when I recall the situation...

"Well, it doesn't matter. I've got the author's account. You can contact him online first, and then try to convince him."

"Really? That's great."

If that book can be resumed...the readers who have been waiting for it can rest assured.

"Is mom good to you?"

"Okay, Mom is indeed the best mom in the world."

"OK, the praise session ends here. I'll send you the account number. Be sure to seize the opportunity." After she said that, she put down her phone and turned to the kitchen.

"..."

Then I received a text message on my phone.