I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

I pointed to the back of the bike.

"Eh?! Well... well... that's not the case. How should I put it... it's just that there are always plots like this in comics, right? So I just happened to think of it... well, I wondered if this scene could be the setting for the plot... or something..."

"...So that's how it is." It turned out that I was overthinking it.

"Uh-huh."

"I was thinking...if you want, I can drive you directly to your doorstep after we get to the top of the hill." After all, this saves time.

“Ah…ah…that’s it…that…”

“…..”

She looks like she wants to say something but hesitates... Is she afraid that I'll start to dislike her again?

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm not disappointed or anything." I explained proactively.

"Eh?"

"You're afraid that I'll think you hate me again, right? Don't worry, I really believe in you, Ye Hui. If you say that, I have no reason to doubt it."

"I see...thank you...thank you."

"Besides, if I walk back with you like this, wouldn't we be able to talk longer?"

"...Well..."

"? What's wrong? Why did you stop suddenly? Are you feeling unwell?" Ye Hui's sudden stop made me a little concerned.

"No...it's okay." She shook her head quickly. "I just feel a little overwhelmed..."

"...Why?" Did I say something I shouldn't have?

"Well... let's not talk about this." Ye Hui took the initiative to change the subject in a rare conversation with me. "Speaking of which, the comic we created together will be entering a competition soon."

"....yes."

Suddenly it jumped here.

"In that case, why don't we guess what award we'll win? What do you think, Sheji? What award will our work win?"

Our work... well, it's definitely the work of the two of us. It doesn't feel very real, but if I were to ask myself, this manga, which I haven't even read much yet, is definitely a collaboration between us, with no one else's involvement.

"Hmm, let me think..." He frowned and pretended to think, then whispered pretentiously, "...Participation Prize?"

"That's nothing! The requirements are too low!"

Ye Hui didn't seem satisfied with this answer.

"Well, didn't you say that before..."

"Don't set your expectations too high, just be shortlisted." She must have said this herself.

"Before, I didn't know anything. I just thought I'd just participate. But after pouring my passion and effort into it, my mindset has completely changed. Now, of course, I want to achieve even better results."

“…”

That's right. That's how expectations arise. Even if you don't initially want to gain anything, that's only when you haven't given enough. Once you've given enough, you'll want something in return. And in this case, once you're involved, you won't be so easily tempted to lose to others.

Even though everyone puts in the same amount of time and energy, there are still differences between the top and the bottom. This world is too unfair... Although there are many factors that lead to unfairness, talent is still the dominant factor... Talent is really a scary thing.

If possible, I hope you can be number one. Because in my heart, the work we collaborate on will never lose to anyone else. But this is just wishful thinking on my part. The reality is that you won't win just because you don't want to lose.

"...Then, then the bronze medal."

However, this time, things weren't what I expected. Whether it was discussing the plot, designing the storyboards, working on the characters, or even the synergy between the two... none of it had been properly done yet, so honestly, I couldn't predict what kind of results we'd be able to achieve.

But if there is a next time... I will do it seriously, with the resolution that I will not let others down.

"Bronze medal?... Well, I guess it's about what I expected."

It seems that this judgment is not much different from her thoughts.

"...Now that I think about it, I'm a little curious about what award you're hoping to win."

"Yeah, it's the kind... where you don't get any prize money, but you still get nominated."

"Isn't this a participation award?" I thought it was a silver award or something...

"Eh? Isn't the participation award the kind that gets rejected directly? The kind that's just for consolation..." Ye Hui didn't seem to understand the meaning of the award.

"This kind of thing should be clear if you just go back and take a closer look at the brochure." I think things should be solved simply and crudely like this.

"If that's the case... then aren't the requirements for getting the Bronze Medal a bit high?"

"..." What... I thought she would be more ambitious, but she's still like this...

"Although sometimes the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment...but at the very least, you should have confidence in your work. Since you feel you've put in the effort, there's nothing wrong with just letting go of your expectations a little bit. Even if you think you're number one, what's wrong with that?"

However, these words only apply to Ye Hui in front of me.

As someone who can give up on anything at a moment's notice, I naturally don't invest too much effort in anything. I've long understood that in every field, there will always be a first, and that title will never fall to me. Without dedication and effort, I certainly have no right to even dream of achieving it... It's not that I don't want to put in the effort, or that I can't, but rather that I've long recognized my own strengths and my inherent inability to persevere. My mindset shifts without warning. The decisions I make to let go of something are fleeting, and then difficult to reverse... Because of this, I only dabble in many things briefly. Giving up is certainly a difficult decision, but if you haven't invested any emotional energy in something, then letting go shouldn't be so difficult.

After all, there are actually very few things that I can truly own.

But of course the people around me are different from me.

I've always wondered what heights those I'm privileged to watch will achieve. Perhaps due to my memory, I hadn't realized until now that I was only meant to watch from afar as others pursue their dreams. Perhaps all I could do was help them find their true goals and persevere. After having the good fortune of reuniting with Jiayin, this thought has only intensified... While I can't say I played a significant role, if it's truly because of me that she's been able to stay on track, then what does it matter if I'm still a nobody? She, with her talent, finally got into the school she wanted. Knowing this outcome, knowing my efforts were not in vain, is enough.

Aha, those expectations are pretty low... But there's nothing I can do about it. Isn't expectation simply handing over tasks you can't handle to someone more capable? After nearly a decade, I've long since understood the limits of my abilities. Even if I try my best, I still can't reach the level of "talented," especially since I'm someone who advocates conserving energy. I won't go all out, because the results will be pretty much the same. All I can do is let those with talent see my own talent clearly, that's all.

A man who often wears Hawaiian shirts once said, "I can't save anyone, because people can only save themselves." He is not considered a celebrity in the eyes of most people, but precisely because of this, this statement is more credible than most famous sayings.

No one can save another.

You can stop someone from jumping from a building, but even if you stop someone once, twice, or even nine or ten times who truly wants to die, what good is that? For someone who sees hell instead of the human world, forcing them to stay alive isn't really an act of salvation.

Strictly speaking, the amount of help I can offer others is minimal. The most meaningful thing, I think, is simply to help them realize the true decision they want to make. People are often confused by various reasons, unable even to perceive their own feelings. Strangely, as an outsider, I can still detect things... like if someone walking down the street drops a bill from their pocket, and I remind them, "You've lost your money!" It's just such a small act.

"...Hey, Yehui."

This time, what I am going to do is essentially the same as above.

"Um, what?"

"If you can get a certain ranking, what do you plan to do?" Let's listen to her ideas first.

"Do? What and how... Should I be happy?" It seemed that she didn't understand the question I wanted to ask.

"...Of course I'm happy..." I scratched my cheek and tried to organize my words again. "I'm just curious about what you plan to do after receiving the award."

"...What should I do... Let me think." She looked up at the sky. "First, I should let my parents know... After all, they've been worried about my sleep problems these past few days. I want to show them that my efforts have paid off. Then, I can show off to Xiao Lin that I can draw comics too... And... If I do win any prize money, I'll definitely give you half of it."

“How the bonus is divided is not important...”

"Well... after all, we're a team, so splitting the money in half is a given. But what I want to say is, to express my gratitude to you, Shaji, I'll use my share of the money to treat you to a meal or... to an amusement park or something... if you don't mind."

"Ah... Of course not... I wouldn't mind."

If that's the case, then I should be invited alone, right? Wouldn't that be a complete "date" to others? Of course, I wouldn't mind such a nice thing... No, that's not what I'm asking about.

"Then it's settled... Well, the results haven't even come out yet, but you're already thinking about the bonus. It feels like you're just playing house." Ye Hui said with a laugh, "It feels a bit silly~"

"...I think it's very likely to come true."

"Hmm? If that's the case, then I'll lend you my blessing~" She thought for a moment and then added, "I see, you're saying that because you want me to treat you, right?"

"...I'm just giving you a normal blessing." I explained hurriedly.

In fact, it’s not even a blessing.

I wanted to start a conversation with this, but I didn't expect Ye Hui to directly join the conversation.

"Haha, just kidding~ But I'm already very happy that you can say that, Sheji, so it probably doesn't matter whether I get a ranking or not."

"Of course it matters."

"Hmm? Why do you say that?" Ye Hui questioned what I said.

"Because in my opinion, Yehui, you are very talented. So that talent will surely be noticed by others through this competition, right? Whether it's the judges or the readers who buy the magazine later, they will be attracted by the images you create."

Very good...successfully started the topic.

"Eh? Is that so... Am I that powerful?"

However, she seemed completely unaware of this...

"Of course, you've only been in this field for a short time. But I saw your handling of the storyboards in the opening scene. The falling petals, the gradually advancing scenery, and then the protagonist's figure. This is comparable to the handling of animation storyboards. No one taught you at all, right?"

"...No, no, I'm just imitating others! It's really not a big deal..." Ye Hui hurriedly declined.

"You may not realize it yourself, but to those who understand, you do have talent."

Many geniuses are like this. They are actually unaware of their own talents, and the people around them are unable to help them realize those talents due to their lack of knowledge or experience.

Ah, isn't that a bit of an exaggeration to say so?

"Talent or something... I'm just a little better at drawing."

"That's right. You already know your own talents."

"...But this is normal... After all, I'm an art student, so being able to draw isn't anything to brag about." She's quite stubborn about this...

"Okay then... I'll change the question."

"Ok?"

"If you really succeed in this, would you consider becoming a cartoonist or something?"

"A cartoonist? Why would I want to be one?" She looked puzzled. "I don't really want to devote myself to it... Although it's true that drawing comics is fun, it still feels too tiring..."

"Feeling tired is probably a matter of time management..."

"But why do you ask this suddenly?" she asked back.

"Because I think this accident might be more suitable for you." Seeing her still puzzled expression, I had to explain to her, "Yehui, have you thought about what you want to do next?"

"...going to college... counts?" She hesitated before answering, "I haven't really given much thought to anything like that."

"Nothing. Actually, I haven't really thought about my future." I paused. "It's not that I don't want to think about it, but I can't find anything suitable for me to do."

"Eh? ...No way?"

"Ah... I'm really ashamed to say that my grades in class aren't that good, and I'm not an art student like you, Ye Hui. The only thing I can show off is the random thoughts that come to mind when I'm distracted and dazed. So compared to you, I'm still far behind."

"No, no, you are too modest..."

"This isn't modesty, but rather an evaluation of oneself after measuring one's own level." If Rinquanchuan were to make the evaluation, perhaps even this little bit of value wouldn't be worth it.

"I think you can take this path, Ye Hui. After all, you are much better at painting than the people around you, right?"

"Ah... well..." She nodded.

“So you can set your sights a little further.”

"........"

. . . . . . . . . .

Finally reaching the top, the terrain became flat. My legs were instantly freed, and I felt more than a little relieved.

"if..."

As I was looking at the scenery in the distance, Yehui's voice suddenly came to my ears.

"Hmm? What did you just say?"

I quickly turned my attention to Ye Hui, who was standing beside me. She seemed to be gathering her emotions, with an expression on her face as if she was about to make a decision.

"I mean... if, if I wanted to be a cartoonist or something... just having pictures wouldn't be enough, right? And without a story, there's no way to come up with a suitable storyboard... right?"

"...Mmm...Hmm."

I nodded, though I wasn't quite sure what she was trying to say.

"So... can you give me some ideas then? Just like this time, you'll be in charge of the story outline... and I'll do the drawings... how about that?"

"..."

Of course, this is not what I can do.

"I think...I'm afraid it won't work."

"Eh... why? Didn't you help me this time? If there's a next time..."

"If there's a next time, as long as you ask, I will certainly help you..."

"so..."