I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Do you feel like you have become——"Haruki Murakami"

He felt that he had become——"Dazai Osamu"

That's it.

------

Isn't it ridiculous to impose other people's experiences on yourself and pretend to be sad?

Speaking out the pain you have never understood casually...is this what is called depth?

Incomprehensible.

It's just a boring role-playing experience, so why bother putting it on yourself? If it's something that hasn't happened to you yet, why act like you're in pain?

Those who are truly in pain don't complain, and may not even be aware of what they are carrying. Those who truly want to die wouldn't even bother telling others about their desire to die. By the time they're discovered, they'd likely be long gone.

Most people in the world have never focused on themselves. When they find clues from their predecessors, they arbitrarily connect them with themselves and then come up with the idea that "I am the same."

This is an act of self-deception, but because of one's own short-sightedness, one regards things that one has never experienced as real.

If everything you hear is true.

The so-called human world is false.

Chapter 31: A Chance Encounter

"click"

After stabilizing his footing, his legs felt a long-lost sense of relaxation. For someone who has lost their goal, even moving forward requires immense courage and energy... Ah, how should I put it? Although the destination is the bookstore, so strictly speaking it is not without a goal, but if I were to use an analogy, the difference between looking for Ye Hui and going to the bookstore to buy books and bringing books for Ye Jin is like the difference between "wanting the real thing" and "wanting a drink."

Well, although I don't know what the real thing is, compared to a bottle of cheap goods that can be bought with money, the real thing is of course much more valuable. In other words, even if I don't understand the reason, in my heart Ye Hui is more important than Ye Jin.

Ah...did something get exposed?

“Ka-ka—”

I put the pedals back to a stop, but the wheels didn't stop, relying on various forces and inertia to continue moving forward. While it felt a bit lazy, on reflection, this was just the reward for all my previous efforts... In other words, many things that seem to come without effort are actually prepaid.

“Ka-ka—”

Needless to say, the pedals stopped turning again under my control.

If the last time I did it, it wasn't really something I could get for nothing, then this time it must be true...

“Huff—Huff—”

Finally, a strong wind roared beside my ears. But it wasn't some mysterious gale that had suddenly appeared in this summer.

If I had to say it, I was the one who hit the air.

In short, the feeling of being in contact with air that is not flowing much is quite good. In this case, the sweat on the body surface will of course take away some heat due to evaporation. Although it is not as cool as air conditioning, it can bring a little coolness which can be said to be a welcome thing.

“Clatter, clatter—”

This little sound made by the tires turning has been in my ears for a while.

This was not surprising, because I was now facing a rare downhill road, and in this situation I would of course let the bike slide down freely.

This downhill is really long.

When I was watching "Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko," I saw the scene where the protagonist, Niwa O, and Io, riding in the front basket of their bicycle, were descending a downhill slope near the sea, ready to experience the sensation of flying. At that moment, I didn't consider the story's veracity (it's fiction, after all, and set in the human world of Iruma), nor did I marvel at Shinbo's ability to handle the situation (it's Shinbo, after all, and he even played on the ET meme). Nor did I ponder the protagonist's all-consuming cry of "I Can't Fly" as a sign of hesitation and the implications of the gradual return to the past. Instead, I immediately thought of this road... more precisely, the road carried by the downhill slope.

The similarity is so great that it seems as if someone in person came here to shoot the scene.

Well, the slight difference is that if you want to experience the feeling of being in heaven here, it is not as simple as being pulled back to the loving embrace of Mother Earth by gravity, falling into the sea, and then being lifted up by the tension of the sea surface and breaking an arm.

This wasn't a seaside place, and what awaited him was probably the emotionless ground or a residential building. Perhaps his last memory would be the feeling of soaring into the sky... or perhaps he'd be so excited he wanted to stand up from his wheelchair when he told others about it in the future.

Anyway, while I can't recall if the drawing had a note saying "Minors please do not imitate," it's best not to even think about trying it. Even adults shouldn't. While humans once held boundless visions of the heavens, with today's technological advancements, no one would be foolish enough to try to reach the sun like Icarus, wearing beeswax wings.

"..."

Maybe that's not stupid...

I shifted the handlebars slightly to the right and the bike turned directly from the end of the downhill slope to the side street. It seemed that I had to keep my speed for a while, but since we were approaching the downtown area, I had to slow down.

“Crack—Crack—”

By squeezing the device on the handle, the resistance on the wheels began to increase. After being slightly restricted, the speed of the car finally slowed down.

"etc...."

While waiting for the red light, I suddenly thought of something.

If I had to go back home the same way, then going downhill would become going uphill. So, it seems like getting something for nothing isn't the so-called "getting something for nothing."

.................

"..."

A bookstore is not a convenience store.

Even when the staff sees a customer, they don't interrupt the quiet atmosphere by saying "Welcome." While this is a bookstore, not a library, it's the largest bookstore in the area. Besides the air conditioning and bank-like hours, the reading environment is quite pleasant... It's like a combination of a library and a bookstore.

"...magazine...magazine..."

It's not that my thoughts are restricted or anything. But I still think the saying that the bigger the store, the more things it has is true. After all, the magazines here are so comprehensive that you can even find erotic books. I don't believe there is anything else that can't be found.

"..."

I saw the old issues of the manga, and after a careful review, I realized I'd missed buying this one. No wonder I felt like some things weren't fully explained in the latest issue... I guess I just didn't read it at all... But even then, I didn't notice, so I guess the author just watered down the chapter.

"..."

My gaze shifted again, finding the magazine Ye Jin mentioned. I didn't remember the full name, but I had a vague impression of one word in it: "...Zhuo Hua." If I'm not mistaken, it's probably from the Book of Songs, a paraphrase of the phrase "Zhu Zhu Qi Hua." Now I knew what the magazine was about without having to think about it; it was probably a romance magazine. While there were plenty of similar online novels, if she had the confidence to submit her work to a physical magazine, the writing was probably pretty good. The quality of online works varies greatly, and the fact that she chose a magazine showed she had done some research.

"Well, just buy it for her..."

After all, it is normal for a girl of this age to read this type of article. If she asks me to buy some BL novels, then I will have a good talk with her.

Anyway, it’s better to take it first.

I flipped through it and realized it was a comic... She had said it was a comic. Now that I see it, it seems to be a comic about love... No wonder she wanted to buy it.

"...Oh my! I thought it was a bug just looking for something to eat, but I didn't expect it to have a girly heart... Oh, that's a bit disgusting."

"..."

This way of speaking...I feel like I haven't heard it in a long time.

"Just like a worm looks disgusting no matter how it's dyed, this book won't have any effect in the hands of someone like you. Like the worm, it will even insult the color it was dyed with."

If I looked away, I could clearly see who had said that. I knew it without even looking, but for some reason... I suddenly wanted to see what she was feeling.

"Oh, and you too. If you don't put this book back soon, its sales will definitely drop."

"Don't curse other people's magazines like that."

I said to Rinsenkawa, who was standing beside me, wearing a white beret and a blue dress. "I don't think her outfit is that eye-catching... maybe she's doing it on purpose. If she were really dressed like she was attending a party, she would definitely attract attention walking down the street."

"Hmph, now that you've realized your sin, then don't do something that doesn't fit your plan." She glanced at the magazines beside her and picked up one. "This one is perfect for you. Take it and check out quickly. Don't pollute the air here."

"..."

I looked at the sexy cover and fell into deep thought.

"I don't come here to choose this kind of book..." I explained with a smile.

"Oh, is it because the taste is not right?"

Although his tone was indeed surprised, there was no expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thoughtful enough." She put aside the erotic magazine with the word "big breasts" printed on it and apologized to me.

Yes, she was actually apologizing.

"...It's okay, it's okay... But Rin..."

"I think this is what you like?" He took out a strange magazine with a "♂" symbol on it.

"...What nonsense are you talking about?" I snatched the magazine from her hand and threw it aside.

"Oh my, you couldn't help but grab it. It seems you really like it..." He covered his mouth with both hands as if pretending to be surprised.

"I didn't expect that I had a good eye for people... I'm so happy."

So he was just feeling proud?

"Stop joking around...my lady Rin."

Seeing this, I had no choice but to ask her to spare me for the time being.

"You actually took it for yourself without anyone's consent... I thought you were a weakling who loved philosophy, but I didn't expect you to be such a filthy robber."

"...There's a conflict between being weak and loving philosophy..." I couldn't help but complain.

"Oh, it seems you understand a lot."

"I didn't say anything."

...

"Ha... You called me yours without my permission... Ah, is this a declaration of guilt? You want me to be yours?" He hugged himself and silently took a step back. "And in public, what a perverted declaration."

Are we just going to let what just happened go like this?

Well, that's fine. It'll prevent people from mistaking me for a philosophy enthusiast.

"...This isn't a public place... Look, there's not many people around." I said, looking around.

"So, for you, it's okay if it's not in public? You're a pervert indeed."

"If possible... please stop playing..." After all, it's rare to meet her here, and I really want to have a good communication with her.

"Oh, that's right. After all, this is a rare opportunity."

She lowered her arms and looked like she was done joking with me.

"So..."

"If we were to start here, I would have called someone." Like a machine, she slowly covered her face with her hands, which had no expression at all. Even with her hands covering it, I could still imagine what her expression was.

"What are we going to start..."

"Oh my..." She was stunned for a moment, then opened her fingers and looked at me with her unchanging cold eyes. "You actually want me to say those dirty words? You are indeed the ultimate pervert."

"..it's even upgraded..."

"That's right, Mr. Qi Kaiji, the artificial pervert."

"What the hell is an artificial pervert? And why is it tied to such a righteous-sounding name? And I'm not a robot."

No, there are too many complaints.

"Ah, about that... You became a pervert because the people around you didn't stop your perverted behavior in time, and instead felt pity for a creature like you. This led to your evolution from a lowly insect-like pervert to a war machine-level pervert. It was precisely because those people did nothing that you were created. So, to prevent future generations from making the same mistake, the word 'artificial' was added to your name."

"..."

Such an amazing setting...I can't find any words to refute it.

"...Well, since this is a rare opportunity, please proceed according to the usual practice." Seeing that I didn't say anything, Rinquanchuan took the initiative to change the subject. "But let me be clear, I will call you out."

"Now that you've said that, who's going to do anything?"

"If I don't scream, will you do it? Then I'll try not to scream." She said, covering her mouth with both hands, "Mmmmm--"

That look seemed to be urging me on.

"I won't do it..."

This joke is too big.

"..."

When she saw me standing still, she silently put down her hands, then began to move closer to me and stare at me carefully.

"...do...what?"

I have to say, despite having an expressionless face, my looks can make up for a lot. Even when I was stared at by that cold gaze, I could feel the heat coming from my cheeks.

"...Sage Mode?"

"certainly not."

I thought he would say something after looking into my eyes, but I didn't expect it to be something so meaningless.

"...Ah, that's a pity." She seemed to sigh.