I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

So this is why she was so stagnant just now...

"But after thinking about it the other way around, I realized that the point you overlooked was also the point I forgot after you threw me off balance... I actually wanted to say this from the beginning." She paused. "In fact, after I followed him out, we started talking for a while. And then I realized something... I think you can probably sense it too. Although he's been trying his best to deny it, he actually wants to be like us."

"...Huh? Why do you say that?"

I thought he was unhappy because he was worried about Tongyou and because his workload had increased.

"I've told you before... most people only care about the results, judging heroes by their success or failure. This creates a social ethos where if you want to express your ideas, you have to be a 'hero,' whatever the means. Gaining recognition, no matter the method, is perhaps more important than wealth... On the other hand, those who possess wealth, aside from the less-than-hardworking wealthy, are generally recognized. Well, putting that aside for now, that guy does have the intention to take action, and from his words and actions, I can tell his passion is no less than ours... If he can follow my path or yours, he'll probably catch up in no time."

"Is it so powerful?"

"Well, I think he'll probably sleep only four hours a day or less to paint or write, and then try his best to expand his talents... But the person who's locked him up is himself. In his eyes, he's talentless. It's quite funny, wanting to be talented while believing he has none. This simple yet contradictory mentality is quite troublesome to me. And on top of this personality, he just doesn't want to accept others."

"......"

"You should have noticed, right? He's like this with everyone, like he's deliberately distancing himself. Actually, I've noticed that too... So when you talk about who he might like, combined with what you just mentioned, I don't think it's very likely."

"Is that so... Then it seems I haven't thought it through enough." I smiled sheepishly, "It's just speculation anyway... Let's just say, even if that's what you said, I still hope that Xun Yu can get closer to Tong You."

"Hmm? Why do you say that?"

She was a little confused about what I said.

"Think about it... what exactly drives a person to change? My understanding is that what naturally causes people to change is, of course, interacting with the people around them. Because everyone has different personalities, experiences, and thoughts, all sorts of other thoughts are triggered... Even if they don't like someone, if someone like him can develop a sense of closeness to others, their mindset will change."

I say this based on my own experience. My perspective on the world was previously too narrow, and my personality was like a prickly stone before I even started to get along with others. However, after meeting so many different people here, my mindset has been constantly changing.

"That being said, it would be nice if people could change so easily~"

Li Moya couldn't help but sigh and continued to rummage through the plastic bag beside her.

Perhaps she herself hadn't noticed. After meeting that seemingly unremarkable boy, her approach to life had gradually changed. While still a bit harsh... it had also softened considerably.

"Hey, let me ask you one last question."

"Any further questions..."

To be honest, I feel a little tired.

"Want some pudding? I bought your portion."

"Eh~"

Without a word, she tossed me a box, and I fumbled to catch it, but my motor skills kept me from catching it. The pudding fell silently onto the carpeted floor.

"oops..."

There was no point in complaining, so I had to bend down and pick it up.

"Hey hey... delicious food."

After mocking me, she tore open the package in her hand.

“Oh, really…”

I couldn't help but complain a bit, but that was just her attitude. It's much better now than before... If she could be a little more gentle with others, she'd probably be very popular.

"Well..."

Anyway, after eating this pudding, I'll continue working hard. After all, the brain needs sugar after intense work.

accidental visitor

"Ah... bliss..."

On the way back, Ye Jin beside him couldn't help but sigh.

To me, it was just all about enjoying my favorite barbecue without any scruples, but Ye Jin reacted like this... Should I praise her for being content with the status quo or for being easily satisfied? Besides, I always felt that her statement was a bit...

"What I just said," I turned to her and asked, "was it used in the wrong place?"

"Huh? Why do you say that?"

Ye Jin asked me back, a toothpick in his mouth, looking dissatisfied. His tone and eyes made him look a bit like a bad character from a school comic from the last century.

"That word is usually used while taking a bath, an exclamation uttered when the body and mind are deeply relaxed. It's pronounced something like 'Gokuleku,' and while it means 'bliss,' in this context it doesn't quite convey relaxation or contentment. In this case, it's better to use something you and I can understand, like 'It feels so good,'" he said.

"Huh? What words do you want to hear from your sister, you pervert?"

"You're thinking too much." Besides, I don't have any thoughts about you at all, okay?

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is...it's best to use these kinds of foreign words as little as possible."

"Hmph, I didn't expect that... Pfft—" she said, spitting the toothpick in her mouth into a passing trash can. "I thought this guy was looking forward, but he still has some old-fashioned ideas. Is it really the generation gap? Even if it's only a few years, it still exists."

"That's not the case. I'm very open to new and exotic things, but everything should have its limits. It's fine if some things are just jokes to make people laugh, but when some people elevate them to the level of so-called art, I can't quite agree."

"Is that so? Oh, then please let the opposing debater make his statement first. You don't have to worry about the topic of the debate for now." She seemed to be a little interested in what I said.

"..." Debate? I didn't really want to debate with her, I just wanted to express my own thoughts.

"Well... let's start with a very simple example. When the Age of Exploration began, although connections and trade between countries strengthened, the cargo ships brought not only goods and currency, but also risks like biological invasions and viruses. So, I don't think we necessarily have to tolerate some foreign cultures."

"...For things like this, you can just look up some political books. I'm not interested in that." Ye Jin didn't care at all. "Putting aside that boring topic you just mentioned, let's talk about something I just mentioned... Do you know where the word 'bliss' comes from?"

"Hmm... "Elysium"? "Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss"?"

These two words seem to be the only ones I can think of.

"Yes, they actually mean the same thing. In Sanskrit, it means a place of happiness. But in Buddhism, it refers to a place where the evil causes of greed, hatred, and ignorance are absent, the terrain is flat and broad, everyone has what they want and looks the same... In short, in people's eyes, it is a very beautiful world."

"Hmm? And then?" Is that all?

"Of course I do. I'm just organizing my words." She thought for a moment. "Speaking of which, how many people are actually interested in religion these days, and would use it to study things related to Buddhism... If it weren't for those cartoonists and novelists who used these legendary settings as material, probably not many people would really pay attention."

"Is that right?"

"Believe it or not, the setting of 'Gem X Kingdom' is based on the description of the 'Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss.' Legend has it that the land there is covered with seven treasures, which are precious items like gems. That's why the Moon People resemble those depicted in Buddhist murals, and they have to capture gems... to pave the floor, etc."

"Wow..."

I have to say, this setting is really exciting.

"So don't you find it fascinating? Those who, through self-cultivation, enter the Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss are free from distinctions of status, and all possess the thirty-two characteristics of a great man, like the Buddha. They can have whatever they desire. Yet, even in such a blissful place, they still seek the splendor of precious stones." She paused, then amended, "Perhaps they only seek splendor, not price."

"So..." What exactly did she want to express?

"In other words, even if a person reaches that level, their inherent desire for possessions and their love for beautiful things cannot be erased through so-called practice. Fortunately, gems are not living things. If they were, they would be crushed and trampled underfoot or used as decorations. Even in the so-called pure land, they would not be happy."

"........."

"Oh, and when I have free time, I search for descriptions of paradise. For some reason, even though it's a world no one has ever seen, there are still detailed descriptions of it. The things that exist in that world are basically the same as the gems I mentioned earlier, rare birds, and magnificent buildings. If I were a person from hundreds of years ago, after hearing such a description, I would also want to go to such a world. But I always feel that life now seems much more interesting than that." She laughed, "This kind of thing is still enough to see in games or anime."

"...Yeah, after all, things are different now than they used to be. Everyone believes in science, right?" People aren't particularly interested in this kind of thing anymore. "And I don't think many people our age would believe in it. Even though there are terms like 'Buddhism' and 'Taoism' popping up now, I still think they're just forced categorizations with a certain irony."

"Well, let's not talk about that for now." Ye Jin interrupted me again, "I just thought of something from what I said..."

I can also understand from my own words...

"When Buddhism was at its peak, people probably believed in the existence of the Pure Land and hoped to reach such a place after death."

"...I think so."

How could I possibly understand what others were thinking?

"But what kind of living conditions can allow people to entrust their lives to afterlife? If it were an era like ours, they would probably be like me, not wanting to go anywhere... In other words, those who desire equality are bound to live in unequal circumstances, and those who desire happiness often lack happiness. Those who yearn for a pure land will probably live in the not-so-peaceful human world..."

"......"

"People today don't think about these things. Is it really because the world they live in is already beautiful enough?"

"..."

What the hell... It started with just one sentence, but you ended up saying so much to me, and even showed that expression at the end... If I had known this would happen, I would have just ignored you, letting you continue to savor the lingering barbecue flavor in your mouth, and then sigh "bliss".

"Someone once told me that people can endure pain, no matter what... I'm not sure where this idea originated, but what you just mentioned caught my attention." I reached out and touched her head. "Many people have heard of a place of happiness that can only be reached after death, but they didn't choose to end their lives, enduring pain and continuing to live in this world. I'm not sure if the doctrine prohibits suicide, or that those who do so cannot enter paradise, but... the world has always been like this. Call it beautiful or ugly, I think it's just like the blind men touching an elephant, each expressing their own views. What the world really is depends on the circumstances of each individual... In any case, while survival may be painful for yourself, for those close to you... perhaps your mere existence here is happiness."

"......"

"Compared to people before us, our standard of living has naturally improved significantly... but as a result, we've lost our ideals, which I don't think is necessarily a good thing." Well, perhaps it's not a bad thing either. "But people today still notice these things, reflect on them, and naturally associate them with words when they relax. Judging from these manifestations, perhaps we still yearn for that place, but it's not the concrete 'pure land' that people pass on, but rather the abstract, less easily perceived 'happiness'."

Although this may sound a bit far-fetched, it is enough for her to know this at this stage.

Chapter 29: An Accidental Visitor

Noon is actually not the hottest time.

As a liberal arts student, you still need to master and understand geography. Most people think that the hottest time of the day is 12 o'clock, right? But that is the time when the earth's surface is directly exposed to sunlight, and the hottest time is around 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

So Ye Jin and I were walking on the street around two o'clock in the afternoon.

I heard that according to the theory of traditional Chinese medicine, now is the time when the fire energy in the human body is at its peak. Then, combined with the geographical knowledge I just mentioned, what is the area of ​​my psychological shadow?

"...I think we need a taxi right now."

Ye Jin suggested weakly.

"How can it be..."

The area we live in is already very close to home. Even if we had a car, there is no reason to take it, not to mention...

I silently glanced at the road ahead. Not a single car, not even a person, was visible. The only people on this street right now were me and the guy next to me. At this hour, staying home with the air conditioner on was the only option. If it weren't for work or some urgent matter, I doubt anyone would be willing to expose themselves to such scorching sun.

"What a stingy guy..."

The extremely high temperature seemed to be able to melt people's energy. At this moment, Ye Jin had no energy at all, as if his energy was discharged from his body along with the sweat. Even his complaints to me sounded powerless.

If she could keep talking to people like this, she would have received a lot of love letters.

"I'm not being stingy... Of course I can afford the fare... The point is..."

There were no cars passing on the road at all.

"How could this happen... Logically, there must be a lot of people wanting to take the bus at this time..."

"You're wrong. Only a fool would go out at this time. And even if a driver wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to pick up more people and add the air conditioning fee, they wouldn't have to wait in a residential area like ours, but..."

"Ah, the car is coming."

Ye Jin's tone suddenly became full of strength. It felt like walking in a barren desert and suddenly discovering an oasis ahead.

"How is that possible... You don't have to lie to me anymore..." I won't fall for that little trick, "You can't hit me in the face just by lying..." (You can't hit my face~)

"Uh, hehe..." She just laughed contemptuously at what I said, then pointed ahead, "Look what that is..."

“…”

Following the direction she pointed, I could see clearly that an object shaped like a taxi was coming towards us.

"It's still an empty car." Ye Jin showed a cheeky smile. "What did you just say? It won't appear anywhere?"

“…”

I used to be superstitious about science.

................

"Oh, it's so hot today. To be honest, even with air conditioning it's hard to use."

After I explained the location, the driver immediately turned around and drove towards my house. Since I had to pay, I sat directly in the passenger seat, and then the driver started chatting with me. He seemed like the type who likes to chat while driving.

"...It's actually much cooler..." Probably because we were walking under the scorching sun.

"It's fine when you first get in the car, but it's not very useful if you drive it all day like me."

“…Ahahaha…”

There's not much else to say except that I feel he's working hard.

"By the way, I just sent someone to the neighborhood you mentioned. It seems that person might be your neighbor."

"...Um...Is that so..."

I didn't think much of it. Because of school hours, I barely interacted with my so-called neighbors. I stayed home during holidays, so I doubt anyone around me had ever seen me. And given my current living situation, many neighbors rarely interacted. I'm not sure why, but I moved once because of school, so people here rarely interacted with people like us who had just moved in.

"Which one exactly?"

He asked after we entered a residential area. After that, I continued to give instructions, and he finally dropped us off at our doorstep.

“...I always feel like I've been here before..."

The driver muttered to himself after arriving at the destination.