I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

This was the first time Ye Hui got angry in front of me... I didn't even have time to be sad. Instead, I was thinking about how to record the current situation. After all, it was rare for Ye Hui to sulk... No, it was a very rare thing.

However, if I really did that, the consequences might not just be a breakup... Well, forget it.

Then I looked like a deadbeat guy, sitting in front of the computer with nothing to do.

I always feel that Ye Hui now is completely different from Ye Hui in his usual state.

While cooking in the kitchen, I was humming a tune with remarkable ease... which was quite nice, by the way. However, when it came to drawing comics, I felt as serious as if I had entered an exam room.

I feel like I'm completely absorbed in my work, refusing to allow even the slightest interruption. While I do sometimes enter this state, the conditions for triggering it are often extremely demanding. This suggests that I'm unreliable most of the time.

"...Ah, time?"

Well, after all, there is only less than half a month left, which is already quite tight, and my behavior of causing more trouble will certainly make her worry... or upset.

But if I left all the other work to her, I'd feel completely useless. But after being rejected, I realized there were only a handful of things I could accomplish... No, nothing at all. Perhaps I hadn't realized before that I was such a useless person. The sense of worthiness I'd developed was simply due to the accidental accomplishment of something I'd never been able to do, creating a false sense of self-importance.

"So it was just an illusion..."

People always seek the so-called truth. But if we haven't witnessed or understood the truth, how can we truly determine it? Simply following what others say is too superficial. But the reality seems to be that a group of people believe in a "truth" whose source is unknown.

In other words, human beings are self-righteous creatures. They are always willing to believe what they believe and then pay the price for it.

To give a very real-life example, many people will spend a fortune to get a paper-figure wife...or buy games at a discount. If you ask them why, they almost always answer, "It's faith." Perhaps for humans, believing in what we want to believe is what we call "faith."

So, what is it that I believe in?

"..."

Not sure.

Maybe this kind of thing is not very important to me.

.................

"Well, I'll go out for a bit."

When I went downstairs to get my drink, I realized it was all gone. The reality of this only dawned on me when I saw the trash can was practically filled with cans. After checking the freezer downstairs, I realized the ice cream I'd prepared was also pretty much gone. As far as I could remember, I'd only had a few, so it shouldn't have been gone so quickly.

Then I saw sticky notes on the inside of the freezer. They were the same sticky notes my parents would use when they left food for me in the refrigerator, but they would never put stickers in places like this.

"..."

Putting aside the question of what kind of mood one must be in to stick a sticky note on the freezer, it seems like putting it there is simply something you really don't want anyone to see.

So I took out the frozen sticky note and checked the handwriting, and found that it was indeed posted by Ye Jin...because no one else would do such a thing that seems smart but actually becomes more and more stupid the more you think about it.

It seems that she came to my place and took one without my knowledge. For example, she didn't want to spend money at a convenience store on the way home from playing, so she used her key to open my door and took one... Because I almost never go downstairs, and if she didn't want to see me, she could just stay downstairs for a night before leaving, and I would definitely not notice.

"...fine."

I can only be thankful that the child didn't go astray, otherwise if he hired someone to empty the downstairs of my house, how would I explain it to my parents then... I can't just say that all the furniture ran away from home.

Well... in that case, it's better to tell her a little bit. Like, at least say hello next time you come.

After finding a reason to go out, I went back upstairs and talked to Yehui.

"...Going out... Going shopping?"

His tone returned to normal a little, but he still kept painting.

"Well, is there anything I need help bringing?"

"...Looks like I'll be busy until late..." She thought for a moment, "Would you like something like stew for dinner?"

"...certainly."

I could feel my voice trembling as I finally heard a fairly normal dish.

"Huh...relax a little...let me write a shopping list for you." She put down the pencil in her hand and picked up the fountain pen beside her.

"Since we've decided to relax, let's have some cold drinks..."

"Thank you~"

...Is my mood brightening up? Is it because I said I'd leave for a while? That shouldn't be the case.

................

"Ye Jin, are you home?"

After some consideration, I decided to go to Ye Jin's house first. After all, if I come here after shopping, it will feel like I'm giving her a gift... and she will definitely notice someone is at my house. After all, it's impossible for me to buy ingredients by myself, so she will still be able to detect this.

"Um... not here~"

A lazy voice came out from inside the door, which obviously meant that they didn't want to open the door for me.

"...Stop joking and open the door quickly." I said and knocked on the door a few more times.

"Okay, okay, wait a minute."

Then came the sound of hurried footsteps, and then the door opened. Perhaps summer really does make people feel lazy. It's hard to associate the guy in front of me with the old Ye Jin. His brown hair, which used to be neatly combed, was now loose. Although it wasn't very messy, it reminded me of some bad girl who specifically dyed her hair that color (this guy was born with it).

Aside from her hair, this girl's upper body was only in light blue children's underwear. All I could see was her breasts, which hadn't grown at all compared to before. I had no idea where all that milk had gone. At least she was wearing jeans-style shorts... but the middle button was unbuttoned, so I could just peek at the color matching her underwear... ahem.

"....Are you hot?"

I'm too lazy to even put on clothes.

"You're annoying." She turned around without a trace of shame and explained to me, "I thought someone was knocking on the door, and in my panic I only found my pants. But when I realized it was you, I didn't care anymore."

"Are you always this relaxed at home?"

Even I have to dress properly... Well, if I had six-pack abs, I wouldn't mind showing my upper body at home. It seems she's quite confident about her figure... except for her breasts.

"Do you have any objections?" She gave me a fierce look before picking up the controller and staring intently at the display on the wall. "Who would be running around outside at this time?"

"...Too."

"So what are you doing here?" Her impatient tone seemed to be getting heavier.

"...to seek justice for the ice cream you ate."

"Tsk, have we been discovered?" She smacked her lips slightly, an unhappy look on her face.

"...If you don't want to be discovered, then don't leave a note in the first place." I said and sat next to her, then looked at the screen in front of me...The protagonist was being attacked by a monster holding a wooden stake.

"I'm a very principled person."

"...Is it also a principle not to wear clothes at home?"

"I click!"

Maybe it was because of what I said, she suddenly stopped while dodging, and then was stabbed by a group of monsters with wooden stakes. Even though she pressed the handle quickly, her health bar disappeared because of the stiffness caused by being attacked.

"Look at what you've done! How can I spread this fire?"

"Is it my fault?"

Even when I'm shopping, I still have random thoughts.

"It's about to start all over again..." She scratched her hair angrily, but didn't lose her temper. "If you dare to mess around like this again, don't blame me for smashing the controller in your face."

"Then stop playing..."

If this continues, he will become a violent person sooner or later. "I see many streamers online breaking their keyboards, controllers and mice like you."

It's just that when facing another game...it seems to be called Cuphead.

"...Ah, I won't do that." She said this and quietly exited the game. "After all, I don't have the money to buy a new one."

"Well... in a sense, this is a good thing."

Poverty limits...her temper? I seem to understand why most calm and peaceful people call themselves "poor monk" or "poor Taoist priest"... Just kidding.

"It's just a pity that I can't hit you on the head."

"I don't think it's a pity. And it's better to just think about it in your heart and not say it out loud."

"No, no, no, you're mistaken about that, idiot." She crossed her legs and sat up straight, then looked at me seriously. "It's better to say this out loud, because then both you and the other person will take it as a joke. If you only think about it in your heart, it's much more dangerous. You might actually do it under the urging of your subconscious."

"It's like...planting a seed."

"!"

This sentence is particularly harsh to my ears.

"........"

Although I don't understand the reason.

"What? Why do you suddenly look like that?" She frowned. "Are you not listening at all?"

"No... Of course I'm listening."

It was just a reaction to one of the sentences.

I don't know why, but I feel a strange sense of identification with that statement. A seed... probably refers to an emotion that can give rise to a certain feeling, word, or action. Everyone probably has more than one seed within them, but the conditions that allow them to grow vary. What we see, hear, think, and imagine—all of this influences their growth, and then feeds back into our actions.

But the truth is always more complex than reason, and not everything we reveal is the truth. And what grows within us isn't just the buds longing for light. The world may not truly distinguish between good and evil, but light and darkness do exist.

Chapter 15: Even when I'm shopping, I still have random thoughts

"Come to think of it, why are your parents not home every time I come?" I asked Ye Jin beside me while controlling the car and trying to avoid hitting the track wall, "You can't be working in this weather, right?"

"Didn't your parents tell you? They signed up for a tour group and asked you to look after me, but I'm not going now." She explained calmly.

"...oh..."

So that's how it is...huh?

"What did you say?!" He almost dropped the controller in his hand. "Why are you telling me now?"

"Well...want to live a free life by yourself?" She responded in an uncertain tone.

"At least give me some assurance in your tone! Really..."

But I'm not surprised that she could do such a thing.

"To be honest, I thought you came here to pick me up today." She stuck out her tongue at me, "But it turned out to be because of that cheap ice cream. I really overestimated your IQ, stupid brother."

"...Is this my fault?" Well, although it was partly my fault, "but you should have the key, right? You can come in and out freely, and you still need me...Oh, could it be that my parents gave you the key?" I suddenly realized it now.

"What else? You don't think that every time I show up at your house it's because I have a backup of your house key, do you?"

"Ah? Isn't it?"

"..."

The way she looked at Xianyu must be because I lost to her in the game, not because of what I just said.

"Forget it, let's just leave it at that... ahem." I quickly changed the subject. "Then you can enjoy your alone time. I have something to do, so I'll leave first."

Now that I know Ye Jin is fine, I can go buy food and drinks without worry... Wait, this isn't the reason I came here in the first place...

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Well... let's go buy some essential summer drinks and some ice cream." I thought about it and didn't reveal the information about the ingredients I was going to prepare.

"Oh, wait a minute then." She quickly turned off the screen and walked towards her room. "I'll go with you after I get dressed."

"...It's very hot outside, let's just forget it."

"It's nice to get some exercise once in a while, and I've pretty much run out of money on takeout, so I'd like to ask you to treat me to a meal today... and stay at your house." She turned around and gave me a wicked smile. "You won't refuse, will you?"

"..."

At this moment I couldn't help but fall into deep thought.

...How can I refuse in a cool way?

. . . . . . . .

Finally, she came along.

After all, my parents agreed. I just didn't know I had the responsibility to take care of her... Does this girl really need care? She only needs to be fed and nothing else. Who would believe someone would care for her at her age? But after all, I'm older than her. Responsibility is a hassle. If I hadn't gone looking for her today, she might not have come along.

"Are you thinking about something dirty again?"

"No." I was just looking for a reason not to kick you out of the house.

"Then why didn't you say a word the whole way?"