I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"I have something else to do today, so I'll definitely attend tomorrow." I said, already carrying my schoolbag. "Well, bye then."

"...Um."

She nodded, still staring at the book in her hands.

I always feel that she is much quieter today than usual...

. . . . . . . . . .

"oh oh..."

After going out, I immediately stretched myself as a symbolic celebration for a troublesome day of campus life.

Because you delayed going out for a long time, there would be no one in the corridor, so there would be no embarrassing situation of being seen by others.

"So..." He reached out and scratched his cheek.

There is still a lot to be done.

It's too early to go home now, and even if I go home, I'll just be wasting time bored... So, I plan to do something meaningful.

Well, maybe it only means something to others, but not to me.

...........

Based on previous experiences, Rin Yukawa was almost always the only one reviewing documents in the student union's dedicated activity room, so I pushed the door open and walked in without any hesitation.

It turned out that she seemed to be holding a meeting with members of the student union, and there were quite a few people gathered in the audience... Fortunately, no one noticed me, and I quietly closed the door again.

It seems that today is not the right time, let’s do it another day.

Just when I was about to leave, I heard the sound of a door opening behind me, and then Rin Yukawa called me.

"...Aren't you in a meeting?"

And he didn't even look at me when I opened the door, so how could he know I was there?

"It's because you pushed the door open. If I hadn't been there, their attention would have been focused on you." He didn't sound like a complaint, but he was frowning.

But I'm used to it, because she never looks at me in a good way.

"So, what are you doing here? You'd better make it short, my meeting isn't over yet." As he said that, he opened the door a crack and took a look inside, which reminded me of the dean of studies who was doing routine inspections in the corridor during class time.

"...In short, I've already made an appointment with Rinquanchuan to go out on my birthday, and you should come along when the time comes."

"You did it without me reminding you... This is the first time I've seen you so proactive." And it didn't sound like a compliment.

"Anyway, the plan is simple... I'll get her over and I'll take the opportunity to slip away, and you can just stay with her."

"...If I remember correctly, wasn't this plan rejected from the beginning? Weren't you afraid she would retaliate against you later...?"

"That has nothing to do with you. It's just something that happened to me. You don't have to worry about it at all."

"..." At that moment, she looked at me with an expression filled with disbelief... Did she misunderstand me? There was nothing I could do...

"Besides, I'm doing this because I believe you can reconcile. As long as you can talk it out, I won't be in any danger at all, right?"

In fact, I think no matter how bad her temper is, she will definitely not come to my house to settle accounts with me.

"H-So that's it. I thought it was just... well, that's it."

After hesitating, she said nothing more.

"Then, just contact me when the time comes." She pushed the door open and entered the activity room. Then, as if remembering something, she turned back and added, "I'm really looking forward to that day."

"what..."

I am also looking forward to that day.

I can't understand the mood

"People who help you once are very likely to help you again."

I don't remember who said this.

But I agree with this statement from the bottom of my heart, based on my own experience. It's not about being helped by others, but about providing help at the request of others.

Many people may not believe it now, but I have helped others more than once, and I have helped the same people again and again. This is because people need to help each other. There are really not many things that one person can do, and people who can do everything on their own simply do not exist in reality.

I used to be happy to help others, and those who I helped would definitely come to me for help again, sometimes even asking me for help for the same thing as last time.

And in the end, all I got seemed to be the impression that "this guy is easy to talk to" and the description that "he has no special features other than being gentle."

That’s right, people get bored easily, especially when faced with the same thing, their patience will decrease quickly.

I'm human, so naturally, I can't escape this pattern... So, I started to feel bored and resentful about this sort of thing. So, I started to refuse other people's requests, and gradually distanced myself from those who always liked to ask for help.

Without these interactions, I became increasingly alienated from others. It was indeed difficult to adapt to at first, but once I got used to it, I realized that this was the only way to do what I wanted to do.

Even if what you want to do may seem boring to others.

Loneliness is the norm in life... Helping others is just psychological comfort, and the benefits to oneself are very small. So, if selfishness can bring 100% benefits, why do things that bring little or even negative benefits?

Although helping others is a good thing, in reality, some people are often not worth helping. Helping them over and over again will only encourage their laziness and may even bring unnecessary trouble to yourself.

So, all of that has become a thing of the past.

Now, although I still help others occasionally, it is no longer possible for me to do the same thing for others.

Ah, okay.

I had...indeed, that was my plan.

Chapter 3: I Can't Understand My Feelings

If only getting along with people could be simpler.

It doesn't matter how complex it is, as long as you can see the favorability level hovering around others. That way, you can avoid many social mistakes, decide who to capture based on the favorability, and avoid coming into contact with those who are dangerous to you.

That’s right, after the digitalization of reality, everything will become extremely convenient... We can know a lot of things with data.

But reality is reality... It's a great mercy that I can imagine this in my free time. People say that reality is cruel, but different people will have different feelings.

So to say...

"...I really want to live in a light novel."

Ah, I accidentally said it myself

But that's how it is. This way, I should be able to escape from my daily life and have some kind of ability in another world. Even if it's just a little bit of special ability, I want to live as exciting as possible.

"Why do you say that? You're living in a novel or something."

Not aware at all.

When I said that just now, someone happened to hear it...and this guy...is someone I have a good relationship with.

"No, nothing." I felt a little embarrassed, so I tried to get away with it.

I didn't want to explain too much to a senior who didn't seem to be asking me seriously.

"I thought you wanted some special ability, like transformation or clairvoyance."

"...Um, let's not talk about this for now. Senior, why did you come to our class?" Although it was during the break, there were still quite a few people left in the classroom. This would attract attention.

"Oh, I came to ask you for help."

Looking at his smile, I seemed to guess what he was going to say...

"Can I refuse?"

"Well, even if you refuse, at least let me explain the reason." Unconsciously, a gloom seemed to appear in his eyes.

That's why I became interested.

"In that case, I'll just listen."

It's not because of worry.

"Well, come meet me at the drama club after school."

"Oh..."

Looks like... I have to skip today's club activities too?

..................

"Let's play Monopoly!"

After all, I have to abide by the agreement, so I still attended the club activities on time today... But I always feel that this has exceeded the scope of the activity, not to mention that it was not initiated by the club leader.

"...The time is too short, so forget about Monopoly." This kind of game usually takes an entire afternoon.

So I rejected Lingcan's suggestion and turned my attention to the tea cabinet on the side. I found that half of the empty space on the floor was filled with books, and there were quite a few of them.

"Did you bring it here?" I asked Xiang Linquanchuan.

"If it's not me, then what is it?" He replied coldly.

...Can't you just give a proper answer?

"That's a lot...are these the books you have at home?"

It would be a shame if it was used for decoration.

"Ah."

"Can I watch it sometimes?"

"Oh, as long as you don't eat it."

...What kind of species am I in your mind?

"Then..." I turned my gaze to the books that were arranged there again.

"Alright, alright, forget about these books. Even if you can't play a full game, at least you can try a different way." Ling Can seemed to feel left out, so she came over and tugged at my sleeve. "Besides, you didn't come yesterday. It's boring without anyone to play with me."

"Okay, what do you want to play?"

I sat down face to face with her.

"Here, this is your initial capital." Then a stack of Monopoly-specific...fake money was placed in front of me.

"...Oh."

"Then, let's bet on the number of the dice. Whoever wins can win money from the other."

This rule is really simple and crude.

"...Learning to gamble at such a young age."

"But we seem to be about the same age."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

I finished my club activities early and went to the drama club where my senior was as planned. If I'm not mistaken... it's probably the same job as last time.

It's a bit troublesome.

Thinking of this, I knocked on the door of the drama club activity room.

"...Ah, you're here."

The person who opened the door for me was Senior Lu Yunzi. Unlike usual, she didn't seem very positive today...she seemed troubled. Wait, the senior was like this today too. Could something have happened?

"Well, it was my senior who asked me to come..."

"I know, he's waiting for you over there." He pointed me in a direction. I looked in the direction and saw the senior giving guidance to the members.

The members being mentored didn't seem to care much, and the usually serious seniors didn't seem to mind this behavior... This struck me as very unusual.

"Did something happen?"

I turned around and asked the senior who was about to go to the other side.

"...Well." She seemed to be about to say something, but after seeing the senior in the distance, she stopped talking. "Actually...it's nothing."

Is that really the case? Well, if you don't want to talk about it, then I won't ask any more questions. Because if I ask further, I'll just be asking for trouble.

"Hey, I'm here." Pretending nothing had happened, I greeted the senior who was talking.

"Ah, it's Sheji." "I haven't been here for a long time."