I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"Oh, right." Rinquanchuan seemed to remember something. "By the way, did you meet a girl who asked you to help her apply sunscreen today?"

"......"

How could this question be so abrupt and obvious that I don’t know how to answer it.

"Yes...ah..." After thinking for a moment, he added, "But there is only one."

"Who?"

It seems like you care a lot, but I won’t tell you.

"Why should I tell you?" I asked back.

"...cut..."

This disdainful expression...

"Well, it was actually Ye Jin. She directly asked me to help her apply the makeup or something. She didn't respect me at all."

"Ah... Really..." She nodded, "So you helped her, right?"

Although there was no expression, this strange nod further confirmed my previous guess... They must be planning something.

"No, because I had to go pick up Xiaoye, so I ignored her."

"Oh, that's how it is."

"...What's wrong."

"Just asking..." she said and stood up, "Okay, let's go."

"Do you want me to help you put on sunscreen too?"

"..."

At this moment, Rinquanchuan, who was facing away from me, suddenly trembled, stared at me with a somewhat angry look, and then quickly walked out of the store.

Oh, how insincere! If you wanted my help, just tell me.

I won't help anyway.

......................

Things won't go away so easily.

When you say things like "everything will pass", you are actually just saying it to yourself and deceiving yourself at the same time.

It is not an exaggeration to describe people as gears that are constantly running.

They keep moving, keep rubbing against other gears, and leave scratches on each other.

This is inevitable.

But I understood this truth too late.

I used to think people were just people, and if we communicated honestly, we'd understand each other. And my teacher always said...if you do something wrong, you must apologize, and an apology often leads to forgiveness.

But...that was just a lie.

Because children need lies, the world they know must be full of light and beauty.

But later on, you will encounter people who are unwilling to communicate with you at all, you will encounter things where apologies are useless, and you will encounter all kinds of things that make you despair.

I don’t understand, when someone greets me with a smile, are you thinking in your head “Why did I meet him?”

I don’t know if I am willing to help others when they ask me for help.

What was her mood like when she was in contact with me... Judging from her appearance, she must have been enduring it for a long time.

I'm such a jerk... It wasn't until she exploded that I realized I shouldn't have been around her at all.

I'm just a good imitator.

Imitating everything that can be imitated.

I imitate my parents' speech, I imitate my teachers to learn, and even my writing is to imitate a certain author... Didn't you point it out a long time ago... I have always been imitating, whether it is a profound imitation or a slight imitation, it is difficult to see my own style.

I was too stupid to take your scolding as a slightly sweet joke. I didn't take it seriously at all and even felt secretly happy in my heart.

I like seeing your angry eyes... No, I like everything...

However, it seems now that you must be very disappointed in me.

I clearly wanted to... make you happy.

I knew there was no point in apologizing, and now I didn't even have the chance to apologize.

I want to forget, but I always think of it inadvertently.

Only by giving up writing can I reduce the chance of thinking of you.

I thought and did this on my own initiative.

...Speaking of which, I've been writing quite a bit lately.

Because I met someone.

He was working on something I had given up on long ago, and it turned out he was quite talented.

Looking at him, I remembered myself at that time, and then I remembered you at that time.

As I thought about it, my hands unconsciously wrote down stories on paper.

If only... you could see it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"How long do you want to talk to them?"

Rin Hanekawa, who had nothing to do, pulled Jia Lidu, who was still chatting with other girls, aside.

"...Our conversation has only just begun, okay? I've almost created the atmosphere, and I can immediately talk about my feats to establish my great image."

"...Oh, I didn't realize you were so good at chatting."

Although Rin Hanekawa didn't believe what this person said.

"Of course. Would I be able to hang out here without some skills?" Jia Lidu admitted it readily.

"Now is not the time to waste time. Come back with me quickly, or I'll lock you out of the door tonight."

"Wow... No way, I'm a guest."

"As a guest, you must obey the host's arrangements! Besides, I am your senior and the president. You must listen to me no matter what."

"......All right."

"Then run back to my house right now and bring the barbecue grill."

".....ah?"

There must be blind spots in the field of vision

Moods always change inexplicably.

When you watch others having fun, your mood may not get better, but may feel a little depressed.

The lonelier you are, the worse this feeling becomes.

Humans are ultimately social animals. Even if we pretend to be reluctant to be approached, deep down we still crave communication. If we ignore others, it's probably just because we haven't met anyone worth talking to.

However, sometimes people worth talking to always have to be with other people... There's nothing you can do about it.

Looking at the azure sky and the equally azure sea beneath it, the sorrow in your heart will slowly dissipate.

The waves that constantly wash the coast have smoothed out the footprints left by the tourists.

Have you ever erased the names of people you care about? The voice hidden in your heart is silently revealed on the beach, and then carried away by the sea without anyone noticing.

Not a trace.

Is it really like what the lyrics say?

If the sea can take away sorrow, then please help me find back some of my lost memories.

I may have thrown it away on impulse, but now I think it might be better to face it... After all, I had nothing before, so I had to choose to escape.

Escaping is not a bad thing, but it is different from giving up.

Giving up is often done to choose something more important to oneself, and should not be disliked. However, running away...means encountering something that is unsolvable and potentially dangerous.

I have a feeling that one day I will have to face again the things I have avoided.

Fortunately... I now have something that can support me not to escape... So... come on.

This is a test.

I really want to know if when I remember the things I've forgotten, the things I care about, can really help me get through the difficult times.

Chapter 17: There Must Be Blind Spots in Your Field of Vision

"Um...should we..." Xiaoye looked at Yehui beside him helplessly.

Although he had reminded Ling Can more than ten minutes ago, Xiao Ye felt embarrassed to disturb her as she was still concentrating on building the so-called "altar".

"Forget it... let's just wait a little." Ye Hui smiled at her out of habit. "After all, we don't have the leisure to sit down and play in the sand anymore, right? Doesn't looking at her feel like looking at your own sister?"

"..."

Looking at Ye Hui's happy expression, Xiao Ye seemed to understand... This girl is an only child, so she thinks it would be a good thing to have a brother or sister.

However, things are not that simple...after all, there is an example right in front of us.

It’s nice to be alone at home anyway.

"So you want a sister or something?" Xiaoye tried to ask.

"Oh...ah...I'm a little embarrassed...but that's the way it is." Ye Hui lowered his head, seeming a little shy. "After all, I haven't seen my parents often since I was very young, and...I'm often alone at home now, so I thought...it would be nice to have a younger sister or brother, someone to take care of me and talk to..."

"......"

Isn't it time for a second child? She can definitely bring it up with her parents... Yeah, that's right. Her parents are so busy they don't even come home often, so how could they possibly have time for a second child?

"Huh...eh?"

Xiaoye suddenly realized what he was thinking and his face immediately turned red.

"...What's wrong with you?" Ye Hui noticed that Xiaoye was acting strangely.

"No, no... No! I don't have time because it's inconvenient to move around when I'm pregnant! It will affect my work and other things!"

"...Um?"

I think we were just talking about wanting a brother or sister... This topic is still too advanced...

Ye Hui didn't know what to say for a moment.

"No... nothing... please forget it..." Xiaoye shook his head quickly, "I didn't say anything just now."

"...Um...ha..."

Just smile at this time.

But... in a sense, this girl named Xiaoye is still very interesting. This kind of personality should be liked by many boys, right?

Suddenly, his face flashed in my mind.

"Ah... Is he like this too..."

I like this too...

He glanced at Xiaoye's eyes which were slightly gleaming with tears.

I still like... this...

His eyes turned to her breasts, which looked nothing like what she should have at her age.

No... he shouldn't be that kind of person...

But after all, I don't really know him...

"Then...that...is there something wrong with me?" Xiaoye noticed Yehui's gaze and felt a little uneasy.