I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Cubicle Conversations and Visiting Declarations

I don’t know when it started, but I feel like I’m a person who is always alone.

This feeling becomes even stronger when you realize that you have lost the friends you can really talk to, and when you have forgotten the people you really like.

Perhaps apart from the necessity of surviving, there is nothing else to be nostalgic about... Well, let's just add games to it for now.

In this way, I cut off the desire to contact other people, and I never looked at many people who appeared in front of me carefully.

Whether it was her or...her, although she felt a little sorry, when she realized it, she found that she had not really looked at them or noticed them.

Is it because I've already given up on contact with others, or is it because I've already found my true love?

If you don’t understand, you won’t be able to get the answer at all.

There is nothing wrong with being alone. Perhaps it is because you are alone that you become strong, will not rely on others easily, can say "give up" so easily, and can live up to expectations with peace of mind.

However, this situation seems to be gradually changing.

Without permission, he, she, and they appeared in my world without permission, unlike when she entered my colorless world like a color.

Instead, like all kinds of sounds, it broke into my quiet life in an unusually noisy manner.

And these guys won't stop easily.

It's really annoying. As someone who is used to silence, I don't want such noise.

But, is it really because you don’t want it, or is it because you have never encountered it before and that’s why you are “uncomfortable”?

Well, maybe it's just because I'm "uncomfortable".

I was thinking, "Oh, this is so troublesome," and after a while I thought, "This might not be so bad."

Looking back, I realized that I was getting used to the noisy world with mixed feelings.

"Are you happy?"

Not only others, I asked myself this question as well.

"Of course I'm happy, isn't that natural?"

With so many people laughing with me, it’s hard not to be happy, right?

But... I suddenly realized that I really seemed to like this kind of atmosphere.

Not that this is bad...I actually think it's great and I want it to last longer.

but.

If one day, I return to the silent world again, will I still be able to get used to being alone?

Chapter 4: Conversation in the Compartment and Visitor Declaration

The holidays are truly delightful... I have to say the food here is truly amazing. Even a not-so-gluttonous person like me couldn't resist eating more at the Rinsenkawa family's table... Hmm, so the difference really lies in the cooks? No wonder some chefs can create dishes that shimmer with gold and make everyone's clothes explode. It really depends on one's skill, right?

In other words, the reason why my novels are not popular is not because I’m lazy, but because I lack the ability? Yeah, that makes sense.

"Come to think of it, Master, why don't you bring your girlfriend with you?"

Liu Yan, who was chatting with me across the bathroom, mentioned this inadvertently - it was called chatting, but he was just talking about random things, and I just responded perfunctorily with "hmm, hmm", thinking about some meaningless things.

I really don't know how we are talking now.

But the sentence just now completely pulled me out of my fantasy, because I really thought... Let alone an invitation, Xiaoye was not even notified about this trip.

I wonder what she would think when she found out that I was traveling when she came to my house to see me?

"Shocking! A high school author, lacking inspiration, ran away with a female classmate without telling his editor."

No, no, no, how could Xiaoye possibly think of such a tacky thing.

"Master? Are you listening? Are you dizzy?"

Liu Yan's voice came to my ears again.

"It's not a bathhouse or hot spring, how could I get dizzy so easily? You underestimate me too much, don't you?" I responded with some dissatisfaction.

"Then at least reply. I asked you for a long time and you didn't respond."

"Ah...because I was thinking about something." I responded vaguely.

"Hey? About that girlfriend?" Liu Yan seemed to suddenly become interested. "Why didn't you bring her here? Is she too busy, or is there something else going on?"

"Stop guessing, really." I changed into a comfortable position and lay in the bathtub. I wish I could have something like this at home...but taking a shower is not so relaxing.

"It's just because I simply forgot to tell her."

"Oh... is that all?" A somewhat unwilling voice came.

"Yes, that's it." I responded in a nonchalant tone.

"Ah~ You're truly a gentle and considerate girlfriend! Even if she leaves him alone to stay at the beach with all sorts of other girls, she can still come along without a word. This must mean she's completely devoted to you and trusts you unconditionally, right?"

...What the hell is this guy talking about?

"I just didn't tell her."

"A girlfriend wouldn't be unaware of her boyfriend's every move."

This weird theory has absolutely no basis at all.

"What about you? Why did you bring Xiaoyou here?"

I was smart enough to change the subject.

"It's not that I want to bring her, but she insisted on coming... She also said that if I don't bring her, I'll be in trouble or something." She sounded a little fearful.

Ah... this kind of thing is something Xiaoyou would only do when she's alone with Liu Yan, right? I can't imagine that she, who is always so quiet in front of us, would say something like "I'll make you pay."

"How could a girl as sweet and cute as Xiaoyou say such a thing? Are you talking nonsense?"

"Really? She really controls everything I do... She even stopped me from getting a punk hairstyle."

"Even if she doesn't stop you, Brother Nan will stop you... No, I think the security guard will be the first to stop you, and maybe even call your parents."

This guy has this kind of shit on his mind all day...

So the reason this guy was able to get into high school safely was all because of the supervision of his childhood friend! He deserves to be unpopular with women for still acting like he's disgusted.

"Oh, that's serious."

"Of course, that's school... If you want to express your personality, you should work hard to get into university... Or you can just drop out."

"Ha, how cruel." He only said this and fell silent.

This guy still wants to brush it off as usual.

"So why don't you thank Xiaoyou properly? You're still thinking about finding unforgettable love all day long..."

"Ah...about that..." Liu Yan interrupted me, seeming a little excited, "I don't want to look for it anymore."

It's really surprising that such words came out of his mouth.

"Don't want to look for someone anymore? Just someone you admire or something?" I asked again to prevent myself from mishearing or misunderstanding.

"Well, I don't want to look for unforgettable love anymore."

The answer was affirmative.

"Why...why, haven't you always been doing this and that, and even performing on stage, just for this? I didn't ask you to give up on this."

Otherwise, I advised you in vain...

"It's not because of you, Master... but I feel like I've found someone I care about, so... I don't need this kind of thing anymore."

Although his tone was a little shy, he still expressed his position firmly... Is this guy really not going to consider Xiaoyou?

"It's up to you... decide your own affairs."

Well, don't we all decide our own affairs on our own? Even if someone tries to persuade us, if we have truly made up our minds to go in a certain direction, we will never change.

It's like when I'm preparing to write an article and suddenly think of a very good plot. After thinking about the plot carefully, even if it is not suitable to be included, I will find ways to make it suitable for inclusion. Even if my own story will change and the plot will be changed to something that is slightly different from my original idea... I still won't regret it.

It may seem stupid to others, but to myself... maybe this is silent stubbornness.

"Yeah, I do plan to make my own decision... but... well, it's nothing."

He seemed to suddenly realize something and stopped talking.

"..."

I also realized that I had soaked long enough and was ready to get up and leave.

What's wrong with them all... How come these normally carefree guys become so worried when they should be having fun...

...........................

"You should go take a shower too... there's hot water."

I simply said something to Liu Yan who was sitting on the bed looking at his phone.

"Yeah...I'll go right away."

"call..."

After cultivating the relationship this afternoon and throughout the afternoon, I found that I am getting more and more compatible with this bed and quilt... In short, I feel more comfortable.

“It’s even more comfortable than a hotel...”

After sighing like this, I suddenly thought of the forgotten Xiaoye... Yes, it seems that I haven’t informed her about going out yet.

"I'm really sorry for not telling you right away. I was hanging out with my classmates during the holidays, and I don't think I've updated yet... Anyway, I'm going to lose the match against that guy anyway, so it's okay if I miss one update today, right?"

I pressed the send button with a slightly nervous mood.

Then I received a reply very quickly.

"Of course it does! Do you really want to replace me with another editor?"

Wow... that's not good, he looks super angry.

"Besides, I'm the first person you'd tell about going out, right? I'm already busy enough, and now I have to adjust everything because of you. You should at least feel guilty."

Well... well... that's true.

"Never mind. This isn't the first or second time Shaji has done this. I'm really not used to it not causing any unexpected problems every time."

...Well, life should be so optimistic.

"Well, please also tell us about the specific details, such as the travel destinations, so that the announcement can be convincing to the readers."

That’s true...so I sent the name of the beach I was at.

"Oh...is it a place like this?"

This message is unexpectedly short, you should learn to save it.

"Although it seems a little inappropriate... No, it really isn't inappropriate. In order to ensure that you complete your work on time tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and even beyond, I've decided to personally supervise you tomorrow."

...

Why do I have to tell her the exact location?

Lively atmosphere and once again scorching sun

Generally speaking, when creators try to find excuses for delaying updates, they usually use "feeling unwell" or "going out to collect material," right? Except for a few who don't shy away from it... saying they need to play mahjong or something.

Some people show amazing enthusiasm in creation. For example, a certain writer has written more than a dozen books and is also responsible for game script creation... Fortunately, it is in the neighboring industry. In my environment, a guy like me probably would not be so popular.

Readers are greedy. They would like you to finish a million-word masterpiece in three days, and then take a few days off to release an attractive new work... It would be strange if you can do it.

Although I never delay updating, to be honest, the updates are not very frequent... To me, this industry is really strange. If a person is popular, there will still be people who stick with him no matter how long he delays updating. However, even if a newcomer works very diligently, few people are interested in his work.

Is it possible that in the final analysis it still depends on luck?

Well... I actually want no one to care about me. After all, this kind of sudden popularity as if I had won a prize doesn't really feel real to me.

"If I can achieve success so easily, there must be a price to pay, right?" That's what I think. Even though I haven't encountered anything serious right now, I still feel uneasy.