I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Even Senior Lu Yunzi is here...that means...

"Hey, stop complaining. The reason why the younger generation of Sheji didn't come to see us is because they are busy hanging out with girls."

Sure enough...Senior Jia is here too...

"I'm not busy with that kind of thing..."

I looked back with a little dissatisfaction, and found that Senior Su was also with them.

When he saw me, he also raised his hand slightly and greeted me, "Hello, long time no see."

"...While it's partly my fault, it's also because the seniors are all preparing for the college entrance exams. How could I bother disturbing your studies?"

"That's not the case... Actually, reviewing isn't as stressful as people say..." Senior Sun explained with a smile.

"Of course Haozi isn't nervous... After all, he's an excellent student. People like us with average qualifications can only get some fresh air during events like this."

Senior Jia still looked a little lazy.

"Don't make us sound like you... We are all studying very hard." Senior Lu Yunzi refuted Senior Jia's words.

"Yes... yes... long live learning..." Senior Jia just said perfunctorily.

"By the way, what are you doing here?" Senior Sun looked over. "Are you having a dinner party?"

"Oh oh oh, then we won't bother you..." Senior Jia seemed to understand something, and then looked like he wanted to leave.

"We are indeed having a dinner together...um...seniors, please come and join us." Ye Hui suddenly stood up and said to the seniors.

"Oh...I'm so sorry..."

"Um... well, don't worry about us... I just saw Sheji and wanted to talk to him..."

"It's okay, just continue..."

The seniors seem a little...shy?

"You're welcome. There are still a lot of snacks here. If the seniors don't come to help, it will be a headache for us to solve the problem." Ye Hui continued to persuade.

"Yes, yes, let the seniors from the drama club come too!" Ling Can also advised.

"...Look, you're still going to refuse after all this?"

I asked, smiling at the seniors.

"..."

They looked at each other and laughed.

"Now that you've said that, being polite any further would be ungrateful, right?"

"Well, isn't there a saying... 'It's hard to refuse a kind gesture'?"

"Then eat a few pieces. I'm trying to lose weight recently."

"Um... sorry..."

"OK, I want that piece. Haozi, you're being snatched away from me."

"I didn't mean to snatch it from you..."

"Calm down a bit, isn't that too rude in front of the younger generation?"

"How dare you say..."

"Didn't you say you wanted to lose weight?"

"Are you looking for death... trouble?"

.........................

It's really lively...

I picked up the cup that was just returned to me and looked at everyone with smiles on their faces... whether it was the seniors, Yehui Lingcan, even the usually expressionless Rinquanchuan and the serious Senior Su, they were all smiling at this moment without exception... They should be very happy, right?

Why is it that... Is it enough to just get together? I don't know... Maybe there's no point in finding out.

Seeing them like this...I seem to have the same feeling.

I feel like I've become happy without realizing it.

It's incredible... Even someone like me... can have happiness and joy, so...

I looked up at the sky and saw that there were still clouds wandering slowly, as if observing what the creatures on the land were doing at the moment.

If possible, I really want the clouds in the sky to help me find you and tell me where you are living now... Unfortunately, clouds have no life, so all I can do... is probably hope.

So you must be happier than me, because you have always been stronger than me... After escaping from your unhappy home, you must have met someone better, right?

Please... If we ever meet again, please recognize me. Please put on a happy face. Please take me along to introduce your friends. Please tell me about your experiences over the past few years. Please explain to me how happy you are...

Please...

. . . . . . . . .

"Sheji...why are you daydreaming?"

The senior suddenly patted my shoulder.

"Could it be that we are too greedy... and have taken away everything you like?" Senior Jia asked with some concern.

Although it's not clear what he is worried about.

"No...I just remembered something..." I smiled slightly, "But it's resolved now."

"...Is that so?" Senior Sun did not ask any more questions.

After a while, he suddenly said something to me.

"Some stories...maybe it's better to end without a clear ending."

“…I see.”

It seems to be true... That's all about her...

About her

About Her Story (Postscript)

People always attach different meanings to things, and these meanings are often good or bad, and they are likely to have a significant impact on the lives of others...

And if something like this happens to a person...it would be a bad thing in most cases.

How should I put it? If I have to give an example, let me use a simple case of discrimination on campus as an example.

If a person is called "a guy who brings misfortune to others" on campus and keeps spreading this word, then...will that person be disliked?

The answer is of course yes. Even if there is no basis, just the description of others is enough to convince people. People are like this, so it is better to believe that it is their nature.

"Hey, have you heard? There's a person in that class who can bring bad luck just by looking at him."

"Wow, is it true?"

"Really, really, a friend of mine from another class lost money after looking at her."

"Oh... so weird... it seems I really need to be careful..."

As similar conversations become more and more frequent, normally normal people are treated as targets to be avoided.

This is something more serious than school violence... Maybe someone has offended someone, so they are slandered like this. Then, as the news spreads more and more widely, this person will be ostracized by everyone. It's okay for those with strong mental strength... But those who are more fragile probably don't want to live anymore...

In fact, it is not just on campus; discrimination can be seen everywhere, from racial discrimination to contempt among classmates... Humans seem to be very boring. It is too shallow to look down on things other than themselves.

But... after all, shallow people do exist, and they are often the majority.

Once someone has developed a disgusting description of another person, everything about that person...whether it's the things that person has used or the people from that person's hometown or country, seems to be not a good person to him.

It is based on this principle... She, the protagonist of this story, Li Ruoming. Her mother left for this reason, and it was also for this reason...that she suffered misfortune.

I have to say...this world is really unfair.

But... there's really nothing we can do about it. No matter how hard we try, it's hard to change other people's minds. Fairness... maybe it's just a bystander's joke.

...................

"you..."

When I regained my memory, this sentence was the one that was etched deeply into my mind... It was like a whipping blow to a newborn baby, unbearable and painful... and most importantly... it was unforgettable.

"You are the one who brings misfortune..."

I've been told this since I can remember.

Although I don't really understand what misfortune is, I'm still very sad... Maybe I've already vaguely felt it.

It seems... I won't get love from the man called "Father", and I have a feeling... I never will.

. . . . . . . . . . .

I once tried to ask my father why he got so angry so often, and why my mother didn't fight back or strike back when he hit her...

I can’t feel it… The teacher and the book clearly said that dad and mom love each other.

But I can't feel the thing called "love".

"Dream..."

I don’t know if my mother was crying, because she lowered her head, as if she didn’t want me to see her expression at the moment.

"Some mistakes... once made, it's very difficult to redeem yourself."

I'm not entirely sure what this sentence means... but I roughly understand that my mother seems to have made some mistake... and it's not like a mistake like not doing homework or being late, because those kinds of mistakes can be fixed by simply admitting them...

"The one I feel sorry for... is you..."

When I heard this, I burst into tears immediately.

I don’t know why... maybe I feel... that I seem to have been labeled as something bad because of my mother, even though I didn’t do anything.

My mother held me in her arms and cried. I wanted to reach out and pat her on the back, just like my mother patted my back to comfort me when I fell and cried before. I wanted to comfort her.

But in the end I still didn't have the courage.

......................

My mother left without saying anything...or telling me in advance. She left a handwritten letter and never contacted me...or us again.

Why did you leave...I don't really understand.

Was it because he couldn't stand his father's increasingly violent temper, or because he had atonement for the mistakes he had made... maybe both, or maybe not.

But whatever the reason, it was just me and my father at home.

Since then, my father, who was rarely sober because of drinking, naturally took his anger out on me.

As for the reason...

"Because you are the harmony of that harmonious woman."

Those two filthy, unbearable words... were probably the labels attached to my mother... Because she gave birth to me, in my father's eyes, I was naturally at fault, so whatever he did to me was natural...

I don't know how to understand this conclusion...

But it has already happened to me, and I have to accept it no matter what...and the only thing I can do is to accept it.

. . . . . . . . . . .

As people grow up, they always understand some things.

By chance, I finally understood the reason why my father had such a bad temper.

It was quite unexpected... I, who originally only had fear and a little hatred towards him, suddenly began to sympathize with him.

Because it wasn't just me, he also didn't receive love from anyone else...and that person was my mother.

Logically, this should be a matter for adults... but if you understand, it's not a big deal... My father and mother's marriage wasn't entirely voluntary; it was probably due to family reasons. Although my father loved my mother very much after marriage, my mother didn't care much about him, so she secretly dated another man...

Because of this, after the matter was exposed, my father treated my mother very badly. Even though my mother gave birth to me, he seemed to think that I was not his daughter.

It’s just that because of what happened before, because of what happened before I was born, my impression in my father’s eyes has been determined.

Of course I feel it's unfair...but what's the point?

Someone like me...can't possibly be happy.