I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

No, being beaten for making a mistake can be considered corporal punishment, but she... can't really think of anything she could have done wrong, so if this kind of violence happens to her frequently... then it can't be called corporal punishment, it's abuse...

If that's the case, why wouldn't you tell me this?

When I thought of this, I couldn't help but clench my fists.

.................

Finally, she stopped in a neighborhood that didn't look very good. Her expression had become a little sad, as if she didn't want to go home.

It seems like... you really have a dislike for home?

After hesitating for a while, she entered the community through the gate, and I followed her in... There is no security guard here. The only preventive measure I saw was a camera installed diagonally above the gate... I don't know if it can be used.

Ah... I was a little distracted. I need to catch up with her quickly... It will be troublesome if I lose her.

.............

The house here looks a bit old. Judging from the appearance... it should be very old, and the sound insulation of the wall doesn't seem to be very good, because you can hear the sound of a resident's TV when standing in the corridor.

"I...I'm back."

A gentle knock on the door, a slightly nervous voice calling out... Is this really the tone she uses when she returns home? It seems... she is indeed afraid of someone at home...

At this moment, the door rang, and the voice came out: "You still remember to come back? Why are you so late after school? Did you waste time on the road again... I didn't spend money for you to learn how to have fun..."

The series of scolding gradually weakened with the sound of the door closing. I hesitated for a moment, but decided to move a little closer and listen to what was happening in her home through the door.

...Wouldn't it be very embarrassing if someone came down from upstairs and eavesdropped outside the door and was caught?... But if not... we will never know what she went through at home.

So I tilted my ear and put it against her door.

................

There was a time when I considered myself unfortunate.

Of course, there is a reason to think so... Because I used to be unable to fit in with other people's circles, and it seemed that I would be excluded no matter what... Even if I didn't say it, in the eyes of most people, I was a sad guy, and a guy who often spoiled their fun.

This is unfortunate enough...

Only, that was before I followed her.

When I really realized what kind of parents she faced every day when she returned home, I actually felt that my previous life was pretty good.

She...seemed to have only one person at home: her father. And through eavesdropping, I discovered that this father had a habit of yelling at her for no reason, and he seemed to have a very bad temper.

Even though she seldom spoke, that guy would still find ways to beat her up... like coming home late from school at night, or not being able to go out on Saturdays and Sundays.

It sounds like they are trying hard to make their children behave well, but in my opinion, they are just looking for the pleasure of beating people.

To be honest, I really wanted to knock on the door and tell him righteously not to hit her because... I wanted to protect her.

However, now I still seem to be unable to do anything.

Really...I'm not willing to accept this.

...............

The next day, I told her everything about following her. I thought she would be angry or unhappy, but she just looked a little surprised.

"Really? You followed me..." She smiled. "But it's nothing... I'm used to people like him."

It's very different from usual. The vitality in his eyes has now been replaced by melancholy.

It seems that he doesn't care about these things.

"Actually... you don't have a TV at home, right?"

I asked her my question again.

"Well, you're right... Actually, my home... if you can even call it a home." She laughed, as if admitting that her home was a joke. "It can really be described as bare... Aside from the lamp and the books in the room, there are still some other furniture... As for anything more expensive, forget it."

"Then...the theme song you often hum..."

Yeah, I think I understand...

"I learned it from watching TV in other people's homes." She laughed slightly at herself.

"So... it's not that you have forgotten the plots in the daily animation, but that you simply cannot watch it and can only imagine it through the sounds... right?" Thinking of this, I feel inexplicably sad.

"Well...it's true...I also want to take a look...but the conditions simply don't allow it." Her expression...seemed to become more sad as she thought of her family relationship.

"...So, where is your mother?" I don't know if it's appropriate to ask this...but everyone has curiosity.

"Mother..." When she mentioned her mother, the sadness in her eyes seemed to fade a little. "She ran away from home because she couldn't stand my father's increasingly bad temper... Maybe it was because of me, and she didn't come back for a long time. I was left to be taken care of by my father... And so he took care of me and I became what I am now..."

It must be painful, the injuries on your body.

"The conflict between them...has it anything to do with you?"

I find this kind of talk a little unbelievable.

"Sheji...some things are better not to delve into...I will...I will feel troubled."

This was the first time she said such words to me.

I always feel that she is...unnaturally deep today.

"So... do you know where your mother went?" It was not out of curiosity, but at this moment I suddenly had some ideas.

"My mother ran away from home suddenly without telling us... But I still remember when I was little, she often mentioned a place... I guess she must have gone there... If I had the chance, I would probably go find her..." She paused, "Why are you asking me this?"

"Because..." I hesitated, feeling a little uncomfortable saying it. "Why... why not try to find her? Go find your mother."

"Huh? What nonsense are you talking about?"

She probably thought I was joking, so she looked a little angry.

"Do you think I can find it just like that? Besides, what can I accomplish by myself..."

"..." I opened my mouth and wanted to say something, but the sudden feeling of nervousness disturbed my thoughts.

"Hey... Li Ruoming..."

I called her name.

"Hmm? What do you want me to do?"

"I think... you can go look for it."

"So... didn't I say..." She showed an angry and impatient expression.

"Just let me help you, okay?" I looked at her, feeling more serious than before. "What if I can help you?"

Trust me, don't come back.

Why should humans help each other?

I am actually not very clear about this question, because in my opinion, everyone, including me, is selfish. Logically speaking, selfish people should not help anyone... In fact, this is not the case. It is precisely because people are selfish that they help others.

From a long-term perspective, helping others is actually for the purpose of letting others help you in the future, which is definitely for your own benefit... In other words, the so-called selflessness is actually just subtle selfishness.

Maybe it's because obvious selfishness is annoying, so subtle selfishness is encouraged... Well, if I'm just making this up without permission... then so be it. After all, there may really be people in the world who always think of others.

But I'm obviously not a truly selfless person. Was my offer to help Ruomeng really because I felt sympathy for her, having been treated poorly at home? Or was it simply because I wanted to help someone close to me?

I don't want to figure out any of this.

Because I admit that I am a selfish guy and I don't want her to live in that kind of environment.

But...what can I do to help her...both for me and for her to have a better life?

Even though I said "Please believe me", it seems that it is not so easy to achieve now.

Chapter 27 Believe me, don't come back

Finally... I finally came to this conclusion... Is it any use at all?... It probably just gave me some comfort.

When I first thought about it, I felt completely baffled. But now that I've recalled everything...it doesn't seem that complicated after all...I was just trying my best to help my childhood sweetheart...

Thinking of this, I felt something hit my stomach suddenly. Before I could react, I heard a voice saying, "Sorry, big brother." Then the naughty kid who hit me ran away, and behind him was another naughty kid chasing him... Watch the road carefully...

But thanks to these two naughty kids, I realized that the students had already arrived at school one after another, running towards their classrooms laughing and playing.

Looking at these students entering the campus, I can't help but think of the day when I carried my schoolbag and went to school for the first time... I can even imagine my novelty and expectations for school at that time... Looking back now, it is so terrible. Since that day, I have embarked on this road of no return called "learning", and then the distance between me and this road is getting farther and farther. It is really a cause for celebration when I think about it.

...Anyway, let's leave this sad place first...

However, when I reached the door, I still took a look at the guard room. But this time there was someone there, and... they were eating.

"...I'm hungry."

...................

"Are you...really determined to help me?"

There seemed to be something flickering in her eyes... Hey... is she crying? Did I actually make a girl cry? She doesn't seem like the type to shed tears...

"Well... calm down for a moment... you see, we have a pretty good relationship after all, so it shouldn't be a big deal for me to help you."

Even so, I don't know what to do...

"Well... I believe you." She rubbed her eyes quickly. "So, what do you think I should do?"

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Life is full of choices, each with its own consequences. These consequences are often unpredictable. It's precisely because of this uncertainty that we develop a fear of making decisions, fearing that the outcome might be disastrous.

When I was faced with a choice, and it was a decision for the lives of others, I suddenly realized...it felt like something was squeezing my heart, and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

Later I realized...this feeling is actually "responsibility".

...........

"What should I do..." I fell into deep thought, "Let me hear your opinion first..."

"...It seems you are just talking..."

It sounds like a complaint, but it doesn't sound like blame... It's almost like a joke...

"I'm...I'm sorry..." For a moment I felt a little incompetent.

"It's okay. It's great that Sheji can think of me. To be honest, I'm very touched."

"..."

Actually... it was just something I blurted out when I couldn't control my emotions...

"Speaking of plans... I actually thought of one a long time ago, but I just didn't have the courage to put it into practice."

What... So you've already thought about it...

"Is that so? What's the plan?" I couldn't wait to ask her about her plan as if that was happening to me.

"Since my mother can run away, why can't I? I can just run away from home too."

She said this to me very seriously.

.............

It is human nature to avoid difficulties... After all, staying away means avoiding them, it just depends on your luck whether the thing you want to avoid will happen to happen to you.

When faced with a problem that can't be easily solved, running away is indeed a wise decision... It allows you to avoid the sharp edge and conserve your energy... Well, I usually don't think about it that much...

But running away still has its downsides, because what should you do if the original difficulties come back to you?

.............

"Running away from home..." I pondered the word and immediately thought it sounded cool. However, the specific meaning wasn't so pleasant.

"So... have you decided to leave here?"

I always feel that...if this is really the case, I may not be able to accept it at the moment. After all, I really enjoy spending time with her. If she leaves like this...

"You mean...if the plan succeeds, you won't come back?"

I didn't feel anything obvious, but to her, it sounded a little sad.

"...What are you thinking..." She sighed, "If you're waiting for me here, how could I not come back?"

"..." I thought about it seriously again, "What if... your father finds out? You'll be abused just for coming home late, let alone running away from home... If you're really caught..."

I can't even imagine the consequences of that.