American Strategic Deception Bureau

　Of course, any officer with a little experience can see at a glance how amateurish the postures of these female soldiers are. They are completely amateurs!

　Not to mention that their skin is so fair and tender that it doesn’t look like it has been sunburned at all. No matter how high-end the sunscreen is, it can’t achieve this effect!

　Regular readers of Playboy quickly recognized that these female soldiers with big breasts, plump buttocks and devilish figures were all calendar girls who had appeared on the cover of Playboy!

　After the guests whispered to each other, most of them looked embarrassed, but some were inexplicably excited about it.

　"

　"Today's Playboy party... is it a military theme? A Devil Girl role-playing game?"

　"How should I put it? I feel like this military-themed party doesn't quite match the style of the Playboy Mansion!"

　"This is interesting! I just attended a Black Mass-themed party the day before yesterday. The girls there were all stripped naked and only wore black cloaks, with nothing underneath. Everyone was talking nonsense and was so slutty. Now's a good time to try some female soldiers for a change!"

　"Those look like paintball guns? Or water guns? Are we playing Playboy Survival today? That sounds interesting!"

　"That's great! I love watching beautiful girls fight! Well, it would be even better if the fight was between naked girls!"

　……

　The guests, feeling refreshed, chatted with each other for a while and then went in one after another. Some of them even jokingly stretched out their hands to the "beautiful female soldiers" who were welcoming the guests, and touched their buttocks. Then these "playboy female soldiers" laughed and hit them back.

　When everyone walked into the courtyard of Playboy's mansion, they found that the inside had also changed dramatically.

　The entire mansion was covered with American flags flying everywhere, inside and outside, and the American military eagle emblem was shining under the lights.

　A military green field tent was set up on the lawn.

　Barbed wire and camouflage nets were erected. While trenches hadn't been dug to avoid damaging the turf, sandbags were piled up in a formal manner. Empty gasoline drums were scattered around the courtyard, each containing a blazing bonfire. The tables and chairs in the courtyard looked like they'd been pulled from a war film set, complete with piles of shell casings and empty ammunition boxes, and searchlights added to the atmosphere.

　Chefs in military uniforms wearing tall white hats stood at the back of the field dining car, cooking the dishes on the spot and then having waitresses wearing helmets serve them.

　The bunny girls wearing rabbit ear headbands also changed into military uniforms and sang and danced on a simple stage built on a steel frame.

　If the grill in the dining car wasn't still cooking delicious steaks, grilled fish, and lamb chops instead of Spam, which the American soldiers hated, and if the folding table wasn't filled with all sorts of fresh fruits and pastries instead of canned green beans...

　I'm afraid that at first glance, one might mistakenly think that this is a performance for the troops at a US military front-line base!

　What made the guests even more horrified was the banner hanging above the party stage, which read:

　[Farewell to Playboy founder Hugh Hefner as he joins the military and heads to Vietnam!]

　——This shocking title really surprised many people who didn’t know the inside story.

　"What? Hugh Hefner going to Vietnam? He hasn't been a war correspondent for over 20 years. What's he doing there now?"

　"Is it to promote Playboy magazine? But for the American soldiers on the front lines of the Vietnam War, Playboy was the most popular spiritual food, so why would they need to promote it?

　It can’t be that Playboy is going to publish a Vietnamese version? The Vietnamese probably can’t afford it!

　"Well, if the Playboy Bunnies went to Vietnam to entertain the troops, it would make the soldiers happy. But if Hugh Hefner, a sex-crazed idiot, went to Vietnam alone, the soldiers would probably just envy him, hate him, and even want to shoot him, right?"

　"Stop guessing! He really did go to Vietnam to serve as an official! Didn't Hefner donate money to the Democratic Party before? Now that President Johnson has been re-elected, the rules require that the wealthy donors be rewarded, with cabinet appointments and ambassadorships.

　So, Hugh Hefner was appointed ambassador to (South) Vietnam and will be in Saigon next month!"

　"Letting the bunny girl's owner be an ambassador to Saigon? Is President Johnson crazy?"

　"Uh, when did you get the illusion that this president wasn't crazy? He's already a war madman!"

　……

　At the same time, Hugh Hefner, who had changed into a Marine Corps combat uniform and a helmet on his head, was also in the room, looking left and right in front of the dressing mirror, admiring his heroic appearance in the mirror, sighing and expressing his feelings: "

　Twenty-four years have passed, and I thought I'd never wear a military uniform again! I never imagined this world would be so wonderful!

　Hey, even though I'm enjoying my life now, I went to Saipan and Iwo Jima when I was fighting the Japanese devils!

　Iwo Jima?

　Is it the Iwo Jima battlefield where the Marine Corps' "Flag-Raising Six" statue was modeled after?

　It’s really unbelievable that the boss of Playboy was also tested by the cruel flames of war in this purgatory of corpses and blood?

　After hearing this, Dr. Kissinger couldn't help but look at Hugh Hefner with a new respect.

　But Fili just chuckled and exposed the secrets of this bunny girl breeder.

　"Ah, you're right, you've been to both islands. But you didn't land on the beach with the brave Marines. You went there as a war correspondent after the battle. As long as you didn't accidentally step on a mine, there was no danger at all!"

　Hugh Hefner, whose past was exposed, was not annoyed by this. He just said calmly: "Yes, so this time when I go to Vietnam, I will really go to the battlefield! It's really exciting to think about it!"

　Although I roughly understand why President Johnson sent me to Saigon, I still feel a little uncomfortable!

　Why is it that the US ambassador to South Vietnam, a position that seems to be located in a "hotspot within a hotspot" and should seemingly be used by the most experienced diplomats to achieve success, is used to appease presidential election sponsors and gild the reputation of wealthy laymen?

　Because, at this time on the battlefield in Vietnam, there was another more powerful department that replaced the political niche of the Embassy in Vietnam.

　Just like when Japan first surrendered and General MacArthur was in charge of Japan, the American ambassador to Japan had to keep a very low profile.

　——When the five-star emperor MacArthur was still in Japan, the American ambassador to Japan certainly could not bypass him to point fingers at Japan!

　The current South Vietnamese regime is undoubtedly a semi-colony supported by the United States. However, with hundreds of thousands of US troops stationed in South Vietnam and years of fierce fighting, the pro-US forces in South Vietnam will only bow to the US military headquarters in Vietnam and follow its lead.

　As for the US Embassy in South Vietnam? It will have to temporarily step aside and become a little-known figure for a while.

　Otherwise, if the ambassador to Vietnam and the commander of the US military in Vietnam compete for power, it will inevitably have an adverse impact on the situation on the front line.

　So, the White House thought that instead of sending a young and

　Instead of sending a strong professional diplomat to Saigon to try to "control the military with words" and fight with the US military headquarters in Vietnam, it would be better to send a self-aware wealthy man to be an ambassador to gild his reputation and avoid causing trouble for the US military commander in Vietnam who needs absolute power.

　Anyway, according to convention, the average term of office of the US ambassador to South Vietnam is about one year, and the Vietnam War obviously could not be ended within a year.

　In that case, just pick up a few rich people who need to be rewarded and have them take turns going to Saigon to brush up their resumes!

　All military and political affairs were handled by the US Forces Vietnam Command, and the ambassador only had to sit in his office and make phone calls and brag.

　Because this dangerous and powerless ambassadorial position to a "frontline state" was not a good job, President Johnson's supporters did not look at it at all. So it was given to Hugh Hefner, the owner of Playboy and a supporter of Vice President Kennedy.

　After learning that he had been assigned such an unfortunate job, Hugh Hefner was naturally very unhappy at first. He felt that he had spent so much money and effort for the Democratic Party, and even got beaten with a sack, but this was the only reward. It was such a loss.

　But after thinking it over carefully, he gradually became excited and even felt a little interested:

　Although the Vietnam front is indeed dangerous, the synonym of danger is excitement!

　Which of you American tycoons who are tired of luxurious life and have extremely empty souls is not passionate about seeking excitement?

　——Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many extreme sports that are suicidal in Europe and the United States.

　Moreover, after spending a year in Saigon and returning to the United States, Hugh Hefner really boasted in front of his friends - for example, "I personally braved the bullets and guns in Vietnam to deliver Playboy magazine to every American soldier who needed it to comfort his soul", or "Even the Viet Cong guerrillas were fascinated by Playboy, which shows that fashion art can transcend nationalities and borders" and so on.

　Thinking of this, Hugh Hefner calmed down and gladly accepted the appointment as ambassador to Vietnam.

　In addition, he cheerfully announced that he would hold a battlefield military-themed "farewell party" on Christmas Eve before Christmas this year, telling his friends and journalists in Los Angeles the good news that he was going to Vietnam to "serve his country" and "return to the battlefield for the freedom camp"!

　So, today we have the battlefield-themed party at the Playboy Mansion, and the Playboy girls dressed as female soldiers.

　Even Hugh Hefner himself put on his armor again and acted like he was ready to join the army in order to create topics and increase his popularity.

　However, even though he had roughly figured it out, he couldn't help but feel a little worried when he thought of the dangers and frequent assassinations on the Vietnam battlefield.

　After all, the Viet Cong's activities there are rampant. What should I do if I get shot or bombed in Saigon?

　Thinking of this, Hefner, who put on his military uniform again, couldn't help but feel a little anxious.

　He was looking forward to going to the thrilling Vietnam battlefield, but he was also afraid that the thrill would be too much and he would be beaten to a pulp and end up lying in a coffin.

　After listening to the Playboy boss's concerns, Fieri thought about it and felt that Hugh Hefner could emulate his neighbor and colleague.

　——At the same time that Hugh Hefner was appointed ambassador to Vietnam, another even more unfortunate American billionaire became ambassador to Cambodia.

　After carefully analyzing the current situation on the Cambodian battlefield, the U.S. ambassador to Cambodia decided not to take up his post in Phnom Penh, the Cambodian capital, which was surrounded on all sides by Khmer Rouge guerrillas. Instead, he decided to stay on Phu Quoc Island, which had been ceded to Cambodia, and serve as the ambassador to Cambodia from afar.

　By analogy, if Hugh Hefner was truly worried about Viet Cong attacks and assassinations, he could have stayed in Saigon for less than a month and instead remained stationed on Cong Lun Island year-round as a "remote commander"—after all, compared to the dangerous Vietnamese jungles, cities, and rice paddies, the island was much safer...

　However, before Fili could organize the words in his mind and propose the above-mentioned "remote control from the island" suggestion to Hugh Hefner, he saw his Texas correspondent Wolf Lee and a White House intern brought by Dr. Kissinger, rushing over in a hurry with sweat on their foreheads.

　Then, as they listened to a few nervous whispers, Fieri, Dr. Kissinger, and Hugh Hefner were all stunned.

　"What? President Johnson was assassinated in Miami? Then who will be the new president next year?"

　Hugh Hefner was stunned and muttered subconsciously, "Is my job as ambassador to Vietnam still worthwhile?"

　Full of abstract colors and nonsense.

　For example, in the history before Ferry's time travel, President Ford was assassinated twice in San Francisco by two crazy women within a month. Although President Ford himself escaped unharmed in both attempts, he was dragged away by bodyguards by the neck during the first attempt, nearly suffocating. The second time, he was lifted up by bodyguards and used as a battering ram to ram the door (they forgot to open it), and then was caught by Rumsfeld, who rushed to his rescue, and was almost crushed to death.

　The assassination of President Johnson in this dimension, although not so comical, can also be considered a coincidence.

　Specifically, he was attending a high-class party celebrating the success of this election at the Royal Palm Hotel in Miami, Florida that night, meeting local celebrities and several foreign guests, and enjoying the passionate tango and rumba performances of Latin American girls.

　As a result, President Johnson was caught by anti-war groups, and several active local political groups immediately organized a march and rally of tens of thousands of people, who gathered outside the Royal Palm Hotel holding signs and shouting various anti-war slogans.

　Next, after hearing the news, Miami's black equality groups, women's rights groups, human rights groups, environmental protection groups... all came to join in the fun, crowding the streets around the Royal Palm Hotel, which became a "beautiful landscape".

　Upon seeing this, the Secret Service, which is responsible for the president's security, requested that local police rush to clear the area and disperse the demonstrators surrounding the hotel to avoid affecting the president's mood. They even wanted to summon the terrorist squad and drive armored vehicles into the city to blow up the streets.

　However, the city and state governments stated that local citizens were demonstrating peacefully and expressing their political views legally, and that it was inappropriate to disperse them violently.

　The governor of Florida and the mayor of Miami, both staunch anti-war activists, were deeply unhappy with President Johnson's reckless expansion of the war. They were naturally delighted by the opportunity to embarrass the president and, at the same time, curry favor with their voters.

　On the other hand, although President Johnson was disappointed, he did not want to cause any bloodshed in Miami for the sake of his own face after being persuaded by his staff: he knew how low his poll numbers were, how lucky his victory was, and how loud the opposition voices within the party were.

　If he insists on using presidential authority to dispatch troops to Miami without the authorization of the local government, it is likely to trigger a major conflict between the central and local governments, and even a constitutional crisis that "shakes the foundation of the country"!

　Instead of making such a big fuss when there is no benefit at all, it is better to keep a low profile and get away as soon as possible.

　So the president decided to follow the advice of a local friend and leave through the back door of the hotel, avoiding the protesters who had blocked several nearby streets.

　So, at eleven o'clock in the evening, President Johnson, accompanied by several bodyguards, avoided the hotel lobby and main entrance where guests gathered, and instead walked through the staff passage, preparing to pass through the kitchen of the Royal Palm Hotel, detour to the beach, and leave by sea on a yacht.

　Then, because the back kitchen corridor was narrow and crowded, with a lot of miscellaneous items piled up, and hotel employees constantly pushing carts or carrying trays back and forth, the Secret Service bodyguards couldn't gather around the president to form a human wall, so they could only push the president and barely squeeze through.

　At the same time, the lighting in the back kitchen area flickers, making it difficult to see the environment clearly.

　So, when President Johnson leaned sideways and walked through the crowded alley, passing a cart full of cleaning tools, a mixed-race female cleaner named Johanna suddenly pulled out a self-defense pistol from her cart and pulled the trigger at the president's forehead!

　——The female cleaner named Johanna, now 45 years old, originally had a son and a daughter, and her family life was relatively happy and fulfilling.

　But last fall, her husband was driving on a business trip to New York when he was hit by an armored vehicle of a terrorist detachment on the highway and died on the spot. Not only did the government not give any compensation afterwards, but even the insurance company cited the "war exemption" clause and refused to pay any money.

　At the same time, her eldest daughter, who was attending college, was shot dead by the police on the street for participating in an anti-war march.

　After her husband's death, Johanna's family fell into poverty and she had to work as a cleaner in a hotel to make a living in order to support herself and her mentally retarded son Paul.

　As a result, Johanna's mentally retarded son, Paul, was also forcibly drafted into the army due to Secretary of Defense McNamara's "100,000 Man Plan," which forced the military to recruit only the most mentally retarded. He was then sent to Vietnam in early October of that year. Then, in November, Johanna received a death notice for her son.

　In the blink of an eye, her entire family died, leaving Johanna alone. In the following weeks, she cried all day long and was almost heartbroken.

　At the same time, after listening to several speeches by anti-war organizations, her thoughts became increasingly extreme, and she became more and more resentful towards the president and the government.

　Tonight, Johanna suddenly saw President Lyndon Johnson, the maniac who had wreaked havoc on this country and the culprit who had destroyed her family, suddenly appear less than thirty centimeters away from her. And right next to her was a loaded pistol.

　——So, she took action without thinking!

　Just like that, with the sound of a gunshot, everything was settled.

　Before the Secret Service bodyguards could react, President Johnson's skull had burst and his brains splattered, leaving him deader than dead.

　As for letting the president's brain

　The female murderer, with her hole wide open, was naturally apprehended on the spot, without even having time to escape or commit suicide.

　But the problems and confusion caused by this have only just begun:

　Next, President Johnson, who was shot in the head, only had to lie in the morgue, but the living people had a lot to think about.

　——As soon as the news of President Johnson’s death spread, Nixon, who had just lost the election last month, jumped up and declared that he would be the next president!

　The reason is simple. Votes cannot be cast for a dead person. Nixon, who is still alive, should automatically win!

　Wait, the presidential election has been over for a month, and the defeated Nixon has already announced his defeat. Why is this matter still happening again?

　This...how do I put it?

　Although in the eyes of the public and laymen, the presidential election was settled after the votes were counted last month.

　But the problem is that if we strictly follow the law and stick to its provisions, this year's presidential election has not even started!

　After all, although the United States claims to be "democratic and free" and that votes are king, the US president is not elected by popular vote, but by indirect voting!

　-

　Although the presidential election day is generally on the Tuesday after the first Monday in November of each election year.

　But that day was actually just a "national referendum day" and strictly speaking, the president was not directly elected.