American Strategic Deception Bureau

American Strategic Deception Bureau

　Author: Lao Lao Wang

　Summary:

　Tags: America, Cold War, Brain-opening

　Introduction: As we all know, America is now a country based on finance, and the secret of finance is to deceive people.

　To keep America great, so...

　Let's work together to fool the world! Our goal is to play a joke on all of humanity!

　——The first director of the U.S. Strategic Deception Bureau, the chosen one of the Lies Prince Cyric, the strategic-level troublemaker with the Earth as the stage, the owner of The Onion News, His Excellency Ferry King (King means King) said so.

　We lied, we cheated, we stole. We cheated our way into the Cold War! This is the glory of America's unwavering exploration and progress!

　——A proud quote from a US Secretary of State.

　America is really good nowadays. It’s good because from head to toe, from chest to butt to hair, there is nothing real about it!

　——The wailing and cursing of a loser after being tricked into becoming lame.

　Ever since a certain man named Kim entered the White House, the Cold War has gone from a drama to a farce, and then from a farce to a magical drama...

　——The evaluation of Halberstam, the “Father of American Journalism”, in his works.

　In short, readers are requested to follow the protagonist's perspective and see how he leads a group of "Zuowang Dao" to cheat and make the world more lively and noisy!

　Volume 1: Even though I'm wearing a military uniform, I'm still a fun-loving person

　Chapter 1: Return to the Cold War

　December 1960, at the foot of the Sierra Madre Mountains in southwestern Guatemala, Central America

　Although it is already the middle of winter in December, it is still so hot and humid in the tropical rainforest of Guatemala.

　The hot and humid air, like a sponge soaked with water, carried a faint stench of decay, in addition to the scent of grass.

　More than a dozen military vehicles with American flags and painted in army green camouflage were bouncing along the bumpy dirt road in the tropical rainforest.

　A handsome young man in military uniform and glasses was sitting in a jeep in the convoy, holding a brand new leather briefcase in his hand.

　Although sweat was dripping down his forehead and his military uniform was soaked with sweat, for some reason he felt as if he had fallen into an ice cellar.

　The young soldier's eyes were dull and lifeless, his face as ugly as if he were constipated, and he muttered nervously, "I know the sixties are here, and America is about to enter another era of shame. But... why did it turn out like this?"

　"I finally became the Pentagon's annual sales champion, and now I'm connected to the future president. These two successes combined should have brought me even more success, a dreamlike happiness... But why did it turn out like this..."

　He couldn't help but put his hands over his purple eyes to prevent the tears from falling, and a sad groan rang out in his throat: "Prince of Lies! Why should I share the blame for the Bay of Pigs operation?!"

　"Haha, I'm afraid that right now you, the host, are the only one who knows that this is the blame. Most people probably still think this is a good job!"

　A mocking voice sounded in his mind, "The higher-ups sent you there out of kindness, wanting to help you gain military merit.

　If your father and your elder brother didn't have the upper hand in front of the new president, how could the CIA be willing to give such a good job to a newcomer like you? "

　"Damn it! I'd rather go to a charity and sell expired canned goods than get involved in this stupid, suffocating job!

　Castro, the bearded Cuban, is not only incredibly tough, but he's also at odds with the CIA! System, help me come up with a solution!

　"This is your own business, host! My Lord, the Prince of Lies, only cares about whether you can offer more interesting lies to the Supreme Throne!

　In addition, please do not directly apply the historical experience in your memory to judge future events.

　Because the host's activities in this time and space have already caused a minor disturbance to the timeline, the Bay of Pigs incident may not develop exactly the same as in any other timeline. Therefore, with insufficient information at this time, it is best for the host not to jump to conclusions. Please conduct a thorough investigation before making any further judgments!

　"Well, then, we can only take it one step at a time. Let's go observe the appearance of the Cuban Brigade first."

　Captain Ferry sighed silently, ended the mental conversation with a portable system, and looked up at the road ahead.

　——Although he was full of complaints, a soldier's duty was to obey, and it seemed that he could not escape this mess of invading Cuba.

　I hope that the defeated brigade at the Retalhuleu base, no, the Cuban brigade, can give people a little unexpected surprise!

　-

　——Let’s turn back the clock to one month ago.

　November 1960, Pentagon, United States

　Although this year's presidential election ended a few days ago and President Eisenhower's days in the White House have officially entered the countdown, the United States of America, which has been established for less than two hundred years, is about to welcome its first new Irish Catholic president - Mr. John F. Kennedy.

　This gentleman, who will have a lot of creative ideas in a convertible in the future, has just defeated Nixon in a very glorious way and is about to become the new owner of the White House.

　However, the upper class and conservative forces apparently still find it difficult to accept this Irish president who seems quite "different".

　"As we all know, the United States has been a Protestant nation since its founding. This is one of the roots of our superiority over our Catholic neighbors to the South.

　If a Catholic were to become president and enter the White House, it wouldn't be long before America's fine character and traditions as a Puritan nation would be completely destroyed by the rotten ideas of Catholicism, and even its soul would be tainted..."

　"Letting a Catholic be president! This is a terrible step backward!"

　"What's the difference between electing an Irish person as president and electing a black person?"

　"I've known since I was a child that America is a city on a hill founded by English Puritans in the New World. But now, an Irishman, a Catholic, has stepped out of gangs and walked into the White House! Oh my God! In a few years, will even black men and women be able to become president?"

　Sitting on the sofa in the Pentagon lounge, watching several old men in suits and ties chattering like nagging women on TV, our protagonist, Lieutenant Ferry King, who is about to be promoted and transferred, can't help but reveal a sarcastic smile at the corner of his mouth.

　The vote count for this year's election is complete: Republican Nixon lost, and Democrat Kennedy won. The outcome was already determined.

　No matter how much you try to make trouble now, it's just the barking of a defeated dog, and it will only make you look uglier.

　Of course, the current American social climate is so conservative and decadent that it might even seem incomprehensible to future generations.

　Just because a Catholic president was elected, some orthodox white men look like the sky is falling...

　Hey, is this really that serious?

　President Kennedy was not only the scion of a wealthy Wall Street family, but also a handsome man with a dignified appearance and eloquent speech. He was also a war hero who personally fought against the Japanese in World War II. He had been in politics for several years and was not an amateur... How could you accept such a president?

　Just because this Melodrama guy is Irish and Catholic?!

　And you only accept WASPs (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants)?

　Come on, even the Germans decades ago could still vote for Hitler, who was both a Catholic and a foreigner, as their leader!

　From this we can see that some old white American men in the 1950s were really fragile and their psychological endurance was very worrying!

　You can't stand this level of thing. If the United States really elects a black president or a female president in the future, won't you be so angry that you die on the spot?

　Ah, that's right. Looking at your decrepit appearance, you probably won't live to see President Obama take office...

　So, after you die, your ghosts will be so angry that they will jump out of their coffins and scare your children and grandchildren into having a heart attack?

　As he thought about this, he couldn't help but feel happier.

　——Well, as the above description reveals, Lieutenant Ferry King is a time traveler.

　He came from a rental house in Guangzhou, on the other side of the ocean, more than half a century later. He traveled through time by signing a contract with the evil god in a daze while sleeping.

　So, Wang Qiu, a poor worker whose electric bike had just been confiscated by the traffic police and who had originally planned to "borrow" his roommate's electric wheelchair to go to work tomorrow, woke up to find that he had been plugged into a system and kicked back to the United States in 1954, becoming a white youth in Los Angeles.

　The 1950s in the United States were the golden age of this country, and also the golden age of rapid progress of human civilization.

　The United States of the 1950s was vibrant and full of life, and all citizens enjoyed unprecedented prosperity. Even the average American worker could easily own their own house and car, support a wife, children, and a dog, and even occasionally travel abroad with their family on vacation.

　Internationally, the United States, relying on its overwhelming industrial strength and wealth, has been able to crush the entire world with ease and show off its military might wantonly.

　This was a magnificent period second only to World War II, and also an era full of opportunities.

　In this prosperous era, and being at the center of the world stage, one can't help but be full of energy and have lofty ideals!

　So, like all other time travelers, after figuring out his situation, little Ferry King quickly stood up and ambitiously wanted to make a career and stand out from the crowd, so that his journey through time would be worthwhile.

　Of course, even in the golden age of the United States, if you want to stand out, both your own efforts and opportunities are indispensable.

　As we all know, some people are born in Rome, while others are born as mules and horses.

　Although our protagonist Fili's family background is not as poor as mules and horses, it is still far from being rich.

　Generally speaking, he can be classified as an ordinary middle-class rich person, which can be considered as a good fortune for Ferry King.

　His family are all of Irish descent. In the early 20th century, Ferry King's grandfather immigrated to the United States. At that time, Europe was about to fight the First World War, so Ferry's grandfather and great-grandfather sold their family property, crossed the ocean, and followed the crowd to the United States to escape the war.

　However, racial discrimination in the United States at that time was even more severe than it would later be. Not only did black people still eat watermelons and grow cotton in the fields, but even European whites were divided into different classes based on their bloodline and religion. Among them, the Irish and Italians were considered the lowest class of white people.

　- Specifically, only Anglo-Saxons are considered first-class whites and "real Americans"

　“People”, and this concept is strictly limited to English immigrants. Even Scots, Welsh and Manx people have already touched the edge and belong to “Schrödinger’s WASP”.

　At least, before the Civil War, Scottish and Welsh immigrants were kicked out of the category of "Anglo-Savage nation" by American white men.

　Next, the French, Nordic people and Germans are second-class whites, among which the French have a higher status and the Germans have a lower status. The Irish and Italians can only be regarded as "half white" or "fake white", and their social status is only slightly higher than that of blacks.

　But this is not the worst. What is even worse is that Spanish-speaking Latin Americans are directly expelled from the "white" status and classified as people of color.

　Uh? Eastern European Poles and Russians? Well, in the eyes of the Anglo-Saxon masters, they are roughly equivalent to "white savages", right?

　It was not until the end of the 20th century, when the equal civil rights movement was in full swing, that the Anglo-Saxon masters and the Jews could no longer suppress people of color, and only then did they force themselves to drag second-class whites and "half-whites" into the white family, and then fabricate the myth that "more than 90% of the US population was once white."

　——In fact, there has never been a unified concept of white people in the United States in the past. The Irish and Italians were also discriminated against by Anglo-Saxon whites.

　Of course, in the 21st century, as the American Debate Championships intensified, the magical exchanges between the various parties became increasingly outrageous. No one even mentioned the concept of a "white-dominated American nation." The media was flooded with various minority groups crying out that they were being persecuted. School teachers openly encouraged children to undergo castration and sex reassignment surgery. Transgender generals rose to prominence in the military. Some even said their gender identity was a helicopter...

　But at the beginning of the 20th century, the status of the Irish was actually similar to that of Asians in the 21st century, and they did not yet have the protection of political correctness.

　Nowadays, minorities in the United States not only do not get any privileges or preferential treatment, but are naturally bullied.

　Therefore, Ferry King's grandfather and his family suffered discrimination in the eastern states of the United States, so they went to the West in search of a new world.

　Soon, the Kim family bought a piece of land in a valley with holly trees outside Los Angeles and built their own family estate.

　Then, this remote valley, then covered with holly trees, was called Hollywood...

　——Thus, as the Hollywood film industry developed rapidly, the Kim family's life in Hollywood also changed from an idyll to a life of luxury.

　The family's barn became a studio, the forest at the door became a film location, the basement was used to develop film, and the guest room was rented out as an actors' dressing room... Ferry's father, Patrick, no longer devoted himself to farming like his grandfather, but became a fashionable film director and producer.

　In short, by the 1950s, the Kim family had been rooted in Hollywood for half a century, witnessing and participating in the rise of the American film industry.

　Although his Irish father was not smart enough to build his own Mickey Mouse entertainment empire like the legendary Walt Disney, he did buy stocks in Disney, Universal Pictures, and Paramount, made his own movies, and even owned a company.

　Generally speaking, they come from families with some money and connections in Hollywood, but not much power. They are ordinary wealthy families, but not even the elite ones.

　At first glance, our protagonist, Mr. Ferry King, seems to be destined to follow his family's path to stardom. With his entertainment concepts that are seventy years ahead of the times, he could become a plagiarist, play around in Hollywood, write a few hit novels, make a few classic movies, and sleep with a few Hollywood actresses...

　But the problem is, the 1950s were not a good time for Hollywood!

　——In the 1950s, the United States was extremely rich in terms of material wealth, but it was severely restricted spiritually.

　Because this period was the era of "white terror" when McCarthyism was rampant and swept across the entire social and cultural circles!

　The so-called Western "free camp" of this era is simply a joke. From top to bottom, there is really no freedom at all!

　In America, shrouded in white terror, the entire American literary and art world was silent, and there was no room for you to express yourself freely.

　Don’t think that you can stay out of trouble just because you have no feelings towards the Soviet Union and the Red Camp. How many of the intellectuals who died in literary inquisitions during the Qing Dynasty really wanted to rebel against the Qing Dynasty?

　The infamous "Un-American Activities Committee" led by Senator McCarthy was not only opposed to the Bolsheviks, but also combined with the fanatical ideas of conservative Puritans, attempting to push American social culture back to the last century, or even the darker Middle Ages!

　Specifically, in the cultural circle, the "Committee on Un-American Activities" is like the strictest headmaster, cracking down on anything that the old men consider to be "indecent" or "radical" - whether it is democracy and human rights, "inciting immorality and theft", bloody violence, or even just humor, all are strictly prohibited. Even Mark Twain's novels are labeled "harmful works."

　As for the novelist Hemingway, who had even more left-leaning ideas and wrote "The Old Man and the Sea", he was simply tortured to death during this period.

　But even if it has nothing to do with the Bolsheviks, those pornographic literary and artistic contents are now also strictly prohibited. Especially in the most conservative southern states, even those artists who paint and sculpt the human body are fiercely criticized by public opinion, as if there are people who bring their own troubles everywhere.

　Religious police for food.

　If leaning to the left isn't an option, then what about leaning to the right? That's also not an option! Leaning to the right is Nazism and militarism!

　The crazy masters of the "Un-American Committee" also cannot stand these remnants of the Axis powers, and they still seize and crack down on them all without any negotiation!

　The scientists recruited by the United States from Japan and Germany after World War II were once idle and no one dared to use them because of the influence of McCarthyism.

　In short, you are not allowed to think left or right, and you are not allowed to degenerate. You are only allowed to be a fool with an empty head.

　It’s like the European church in the Middle Ages, which tried to put a lock on everyone’s mind, forcing everyone to stop thinking and just stare blankly.

　As a result, black smoke rose from libraries across the United States as "harmful books" were burned. Thousands of intellectuals, scientists, actors, journalists, and those unlucky enough to be implicated were forced to go into exile abroad or be imprisoned. Others had their careers completely destroyed.

　There is no way around it. Almost any type of literary or artistic work can be accused of a bunch of crimes by the "Un-American Activities Committee" which is good at nitpicking.

　It seems as if they want to cram all Americans into churches, where their only entertainment is listening to the pastor's sermons.

　The McCarthyist movement, which lasted for over a decade, can be compared to the American version of the "literary inquisition" and "book burning and burying of scholars"—incidentally, Hitler did much the same thing in Germany in the 1930s, burning books and persecuting intellectuals.