Rebirth in the Apocalypse: Third Time's a Charm



Crawling back in between my sheets, my comforter so fluffy and big that I could disappear under it, I realized just how lucky my boys actually had it.

The first day I started, I came into my space all murdery and after a few days of long, hot showers, pain medications, heating pads, movies, and unlimited cakes, I was right as rain. Seriously, what would be just a few seconds back in the real world was a full 7 days here and I was loving it.

I managed to do some more baking, fed the chickens, and milked the cows. I was happy. Even Hades showed up for his dinner every night making me think that maybe he forgave me for throwing him to the wolves.

I lifted up the covers and let him crawl beneath them as he curled up into a ball beside my stomach happy and content.  I knew I had to get back to the real world, but sometimes, it really didn't feel like it even existed if I wasn't there. As if this space was where I belonged and the outside was just someplace I went to not to be bored.

I narrowed my eyes at that idea. Technically I had the best of both worlds. One where I could live a solitary existence and the other one where I was just as happy and content, but with other people. I like the real world though. It challenged me in ways that I didn't think about. It encouraged me to get stronger, to fight for what I wanted. To know that I was only gone seconds helped in that I didn't miss out on anything.

But the knife to the gut was done, my desire to skin anyone alive that even opened their mouth was gone, and best of all I was no longer feeling so tired.

I fell asleep one last time in my bed, cuddling with Hades underneath the cloud that was my blanket. Life was good.

----

"You know life isn't all that great, right?" asked the icy voice as she pulled me into a world with dark grey cliffs. I looked around and noticed that it was the same world where they always took me to, just this time we were further away from the red stream. Looking down, I could see the landscape so much clearer. And yet, there was still nothing but greyish-black fields with a red river cutting through it and black mountains off in the distance.

"Yeah, I know," I said sitting down on the end of the ledge. My legs dangled off as small rocks fell to the earth beneath us.

"And yet you still want to go back?" she asked and I could see someone sitting beside me with a white dress. Looking up at her I saw my face looking back at me. She smiled at me before turning her attention back to the landscape in front of us.

"Why not?" I asked with a shrug. "The men are there, there are zombies to kill, people to kill, and desserts to eat. Why wouldn't I want to go back?"

"And one person to save. Why?" she asked looking at me. "Why is she so special that you have a whole plan to make sure she doesn't die?"

"Honestly? I have no idea," I admitted. I didn't know if it was because of some weird compassion that I was desperately trying to destroy inside of me or what. All I knew was that I could not let that healer die a second time.

At the same time, I had no desire to save her myself. I would let her fiancé and his team save her and get the credit. I just needed her to live.

"As much as everything changes, some things remain the same," said the woman sitting beside me.

"What do I call you?" I asked her as I studied her. She was wearing a beautiful white dress with gold accents and gold jewelry. She looked like the quintessential Grecian beauty.

"What have you been calling me in your head?" she asked with a small smirk. Her voice still sounded like wind blowing over the tundra, but there was a warmth to it too.

"The icy voice," I admitted with a shrug. It wasn't creative but it was accurate.

"Let's stay with that then," she replied before disappearing.

"Well, that was a waste of time," I grumbled still trying to figure out how I get myself home.

----

The next time I opened my eyes I was back inside Cerberus. "Miss me?" I asked as I threw my cold cup of coffee into my space and looked around the cab.

"Always," he assured me. "But that was fast."

"Fast for you maybe, but just enough time to have me feeling brand new. Now, where are we going?" I asked taking out a new mug of coffee. I was smart enough to fill all of my travel mugs and leave them on the counter in my kitchen. Now whenever I needed one, they were all there.

"To City A," said Cerberus and I may or may not have choked on my coffee. "You wanted to go home."

Home. The ranch that I worked so hard for, that I thought was going to be my escape from a world that I wanted nothing to do with. But going home was a double-edged sword. Was it still my home after all this time? Or would the men that were staying there change it to the point I didn't recognize it anymore?

Could I handle that?

I have never gone back to a home in my life. Once I had left it, that was it. I never went back to any of my foster homes, nor the home I was born in. In my second life, there was no place to call home so it didn't matter if I went back to the same space or not.

But this, this was something completely different, and it scared me.

"I see," I said slowly once I stopped coughing and wiped the tears from my eyes. I didn't know what to say after that.