The entire courtyard is full of villains

"Sir, thank you for your trouble."

Yi Zhonghai took the stick from the rolled-up bundle, hoisted it onto his shoulder, and the two hurriedly rushed to the hospital.

They completely forgot that Jia Zhangshi was still naked in the freezing cold toilet, waiting for that toilet paper that would never arrive.

"Ta-da!"

The distant sound of bells sent a shiver down Jia Zhangshi's spine. She cursed inwardly, "That damned Qin Huairu, you just wait! If I get through this tonight's ordeal unscathed, I'll make sure you're skinned alive! I'll write my name backwards!"

She shook her bottom vigorously, feeling that the filth on it had already frozen solid. It was so late at night, and not a single person in the courtyard had come to use the toilet. "Those bastards!" Jia Zhangshi cursed again, "There are always people coming and going at night on weekdays, why are they ganging up on me tonight?"

She couldn't wait any longer. With a heavy heart, Jia Zhangshi reluctantly shuffled out. She was heartbroken to see her newly made cotton trousers get dirty again; it would be the end of her. Left with no other choice, she awkwardly shuffled towards the courtyard house, her bottom sticking out in an extremely uncomfortable position.

Logically speaking, there should be no one on the road at this hour. Although she looked disheveled as she shuffled back, it wasn't too embarrassing.

But what I feared most came to pass.

Xu Damao went to his father's house for the Chinese New Year tonight. The father and son were having a good time drinking, but then they ran out of liquor. He remembered that he had two bottles of Fenjiu (a type of Chinese liquor) hidden in his house, so he rode his bicycle back to the yard to get them.

But as soon as they entered the alley, they encountered a horrifying sight: a white, shiny object, like a landmine that had come to life, with two legs dangling from its base, was swaying and moving towards the courtyard!

Xu Damao was terrified and opened his mouth to scream. But then he suddenly remembered what the old man had said—if you scream, this kind of thing will haunt you! He covered his mouth tightly, not even caring about his bicycle, and turned to run for his life into the street—he thought he had seen a patrol team there when he came over!

Chapter 93 You can't eat everything.

"Comrade!" Xu Damao stumbled and crawled into the street, finally bumping into the patrol team. Seeing his panicked state, the patrol team assumed something terrible had happened. The leader shouted, "Don't move! Hands up!"

Xu Damao quickly did as instructed. The captain signaled two team members to search him, and after a thorough search, they found no contraband.

"Why are you running around in such a panic so late at night?"

Xu Damao stammered, "Comrade... our alley is... haunted!"

The captain's face darkened: "What nonsense are you spouting? Such things don't exist anymore!"

“Really, Captain! Why don’t you come with me to take a look? That thing isn’t very tall, it’s a white blob that reflects light, and it has two carrot legs at the bottom… Who wouldn’t be afraid of it!” Xu Damao said, unconsciously reeking of alcohol.

The captain wrinkled his nose: "Comrade, are you perhaps a little drunk?"

"I didn't drink much, comrade!"

"I'm warning you, lying is illegal!"

Xu Damao stamped his feet anxiously: "Captain, come with me, you'll understand at a glance!"

After saying that, he turned and ran into the alley. The captain waved his hand and led a few men after him.

Before long, the group reached the alley entrance. Xu Damao saw the white figure still slowly moving forward in the distance, and feeling a little relieved, he quickly pointed it out to the captain: "Look!"

The captain looked closely—in the pitch-black night, sure enough, there was something white flashing, with two short legs protruding from its base, inching forward step by step. He was startled too: "What...what is that thing?"

Xu Damao and several team members stared at him expectantly. The captain had no choice but to suppress his fear and signal his men to flank him from both sides.

Jia Zhangshi felt like someone was watching her from behind, but she was afraid of getting dirt on her cotton trousers if she walked too fast, so she had to walk slowly with her legs apart. Just as she was about to reach the courtyard gate, she suddenly received a hard kick in the buttocks. With a cry of "Ouch!", she fell forward to the ground.

"Who the hell kicked me?!"

Upon hearing this, the captain was astonished that this "ghost" could actually speak human language. He immediately gripped his gun and shone his flashlight: "Who? What are you?"

The flashlight beam stung Jia Zhangshi's eyes, making it impossible for her to open them: "Ouch, who are you? Take the flashlight away!"

Another team member came over for a look and exclaimed, "Captain, it's an old woman! Walking around naked in the street in the middle of the night without pants on!"

Only then did Jia Zhangshi realize that she was still naked from the waist down. Not knowing whether to cover her face or her buttocks, she could only cover her face with one hand and her buttocks with the other, crying out, "Oh my! You shameless bunch! Harassing an old lady in the middle of the night!"

"Whoa!" Xu Damao sidled up from the side, and upon seeing her by the light of his flashlight, he burst out laughing: "Isn't this Jia Zhangshi from our courtyard? Good heavens, how come I never knew you had this hobby? Wandering around the street naked in the middle of the night, don't you think it's disgusting?"

"I'll swear on your mother's legs!" Jia Zhangshi cursed. "Xu Damao, you scoundrel, stop ruining my reputation!"

"I'm disgracing you?" Xu Damao retorted angrily. "You almost scared me to death tonight! I was walking along the street when I was scared out of my wits! Come here, let the patrol team be the judge—you were walking around naked, and I'm not even accusing you of being disgusting? You're...you're simply committing an indecent act!"

The captain's face darkened as he listened: "Jia Zhangshi, tell me, why are you wandering around the alley naked in the middle of the night?"

"No, I didn't, it's not my fault!" Madam Jia hurriedly denied. If she were to be branded a pervert, how could she ever face anyone again? "I had diarrhea and ran to the toilet, asking Qin Huairu to bring me toilet paper, but that little hussy never brought it! I couldn't stand the cold in the toilet, so I moved to the courtyard..."

"Then why aren't you wearing pants?"

"Oh dear comrade! I don't have any paper to wipe myself, and these are brand new cotton trousers. It would be such a waste to wear them right away! Could you please give me a piece of paper to wipe myself down?"

The team leader had no choice but to send a team member to knock on the door of Jia's house. A short while later, the team member reported back: "No one is home at Jia's house. The neighbors said that Bang Geng was vomiting and had diarrhea, and was taken to the hospital."

"Oh, my dear grandson!" Jia Zhangshi cried out in despair.

"Alright!" The captain waved his hand dismissively, had someone get some toilet paper from Yan Bugui's house and handed it over. "Go to the toilet and clean yourself up, and put your pants back on. We're not taking you home today, it's New Year's Eve. Go to the neighborhood committee office after the New Year to accept your punishment!"

Seeing that Jia Zhangshi was grinning and not saying a word, the captain shouted, "Did you hear me!"

“I heard it…” Jia Zhangshi glared fiercely at Xu Damao, which frightened him into shrinking back.

"Captain, am I alright now?"

"It's alright now." The captain was quite amiable towards Xu Damao; anyone would have been scared away by such a white thing.

Xu Damao felt like he'd been granted a pardon and ran away as fast as he could. Jia Zhangshi emerged from the toilet with a bitter face, pushed open the courtyard gate, and dejectedly returned to the central courtyard.

Meanwhile, Yi Zhonghai carried the chubby boy, who was rolled up like a spring roll, all the way to the hospital. Luckily, the boy was still young; if he were a few years older, Yi Zhonghai really wouldn't have been able to carry him, given his plump body.

On Lunar New Year's Eve, only one doctor and two nurses were on duty at the hospital. Yi Zhonghai rushed in, calling for the doctor repeatedly. The doctor stared blankly at the roll of bedding on his shoulder: "Comrade, this is a hospital, not a hotel. If you need accommodation..."

"Doctor! There's a child inside! He ate something bad and is vomiting and having diarrhea!"

The doctor quickly told him to uncover himself—and as soon as he did, both of them vomited simultaneously. The sticky substance was spraying out, covering them completely. Two nurses, hearing the commotion, came to investigate and also vomited.

Finally, the hospital security department intervened, connecting a water hose to pull the stick to the toilet to wash it clean before carrying the person into the examination room. At that moment, Qin Huairu arrived, panting.

What did the child eat for dinner?

"I just...I just ate a bowl of dumplings..."

How could Qin Huairu dare say that the child had eaten a second meal after returning home? The doctor didn't say anything, first putting Bang Geng on an IV drip, then wearing a mask to examine the excrement. Upon returning, he immediately launched into a tirade of abuse:

"What kind of parents are you? This meat is obviously contaminated! The child's digestive system isn't fully developed yet. How can he not get sick from eating so much spoiled food? Life is tough these days, but you can't just stuff anything into the child's mouth!"

Qin Huairu lowered her head, not daring to utter a sound. Yi Zhonghai was initially stunned by the scolding, but later, upon hearing the words "father and mother," he felt a secret joy. It wasn't until the doctor asked, "Who else in the family ate these meat dumplings?" that the two exchanged a glance—oh no, Jia Zhangshi…

"And my mother-in-law..." Qin Huairu had barely finished speaking when the doctor slapped Yi Zhonghai on the back: "What are you standing there for? Hurry up and go home to see your mother! Don't let her fall into the toilet and drown!"

Yi Zhonghai turned and ran, only realizing what was happening when he reached the courtyard gate: "Wait a minute? How did Jia Zhangshi become my mother?" But he couldn't worry about that now.

At the hospital, the doctor nodded to Qin Huairu: "Now that your husband has gone back, everything should be fine at home. Come and sign the papers."

Chapter 94 is absolutely fantastic.

Yi Zhonghai jogged back to the courtyard gate, still catching his breath, when he heard Jia Zhangshi wailing at the top of her lungs inside the courtyard:

"You heartless bastards! What did the Jia family ever do to deserve this? How can you blame us for tonight's events? Old Jia—come up here and take them all away!"

As soon as Yi Zhonghai stepped into the courtyard, Jia Zhangshi spotted him and immediately rushed over: "Old Yi! How is my Banggeng?"

"You're on an IV drip at the hospital, so you're fine for now. Qin Huairu asked me to come back and see you."

"I...I'm fine!" Jia Zhangshi replied, but suddenly her eyes darted around as if she remembered something. She pointed at Yi Zhonghai and shouted, "Old Yi! There's definitely something wrong with the meat dumplings you had tonight!"

"Jia Zhangshi! How can you blame us for this? Who told you to eat so much meat? Maybe you haven't eaten meat in a long time and your stomach can't handle it?"

"Bullshit! I ate stir-fried pork just two days ago!" Jia Zhangshi became more and more agitated as she spoke. "It's all your fault! It's all your fault for the meat! Oh—so that's why you suddenly treated us to dumplings, you were just waiting to trick me!"

As she spoke, she sat down on the ground again, slapping her thigh and crying out, "Old Jia—come quickly and see! Your good brother Yi Zhonghai is going to destroy our Jia family! I've figured it out! He conspired with that little whore Qin Huairu to poison me and Banggeng with poisoned meat dumplings so they could elope! Old Jia, please take him away!"

The people in the courtyard had long been awakened by the noise and gathered around to see what was going on. Yi Zhonghai stood there, his face turning pale and then red. At this moment, Tan Saihua couldn't bear it any longer and stepped out from the crowd:

"Jia Zhangshi, what nonsense are you spouting? When those dumplings were served, you and Banggeng ate the most! If there really was a problem, how come we're all fine?"

"I don't care! I don't care! It's all your fault!" Jia Zhangshi started acting like a liar. "You have to pay me back! Tonight you made me... I was naked and Xu Damao saw me naked!"

These words caused an uproar. Yang Ruihua quickly pushed forward: "Sister-in-law Jia, what did you say? Xu Damao saw your butt?"

"That's right! He saw my naked bottom completely! Old Jia—you should take Xu Damao with you too, he saw your wife's bottom!"

Even Sha Zhu, who was pretending to be drunk inside, couldn't help but come out to watch the drama unfold: "Aunt Jia, did Xu Damao really look at your butt?"

"That's right—wait, no!" Jia Zhangshi changed the subject, pointing at Shazhu, "Shazhu, you're to blame for tonight's troubles too! Who told you to make the dumplings so delicious? We ate too many! Are you in cahoots with Yi Zhonghai and Qin Huairu, trying to kill me and Banggeng?"

Sha Zhu was dumbfounded—he had only wanted to watch the show, how did the blame end up on him? He stood there with his mouth agape, not knowing how to respond.

He Yushui quickly stepped forward: "Aunt Jia, don't talk nonsense! You weren't the only one who ate meat dumplings tonight. Uncle's family, my brother and I, and Sister Qin all ate them. How come only you two got sick? Maybe you ate something unclean when you got home?"

These words jolted Tan Saihua awake, and her eyes lit up: "Jia Zhangshi, tell me! Did you two sneak off to eat something else again when you got home?"

"I...I didn't steal any food!" Jia Zhangshi immediately felt guilty, and her voice lowered several decibels.

Everyone understood what was going on when they saw her.

"Old Yi, let's go! Let her cry here by herself!" Tan Saihua said angrily, pulling Yi Zhonghai away.

He Yushui also dragged the still dazed Shazhu home. Only Jia Zhangshi remained in the courtyard, sitting on the ground.

As Jia Zhangshi sat down on the ground, just as she was about to call out "Old Jia—", Zhang Erhe's roar came from the front yard:

"Jia Zhangshi! If you call out 'Old Jia' again tonight, I'll have someone send you down to keep him company tomorrow!"

Startled, Jia Zhangshi swallowed her words back: "Fine, I won't call you then..." With that, she sullenly shuffled home.

The room was still a mess, reeking of filth. She had no choice but to suppress her nausea and throw all the filthy clothes outside. She then opened the window and let it air out for half the night before the smell dissipated slightly. Turning her head, she glanced at Xiao Dang on the kang (heated brick bed). The little girl was "sound asleep"—thankfully, Xiao Dang couldn't speak; if she could, she would definitely complain. She wasn't asleep at all; she had simply been overwhelmed by the stench and hadn't woken up yet.

Early the next morning, Qin Huairu returned to the courtyard with Banggeng, who had finished his IV drip. As soon as she entered the gate, she saw the Third Aunt and several other women huddled together, whispering. Upon seeing her, the Third Aunt waved:

"Huai Ru, come here for a moment."

"What's wrong, Auntie?"

"Huai Ru, let me ask you," the third aunt lowered her voice, "when are you going to get married to your mother-in-law and Xu Damao?"

Qin Huairu was taken aback: "My mother-in-law...with Xu Damao? What's going on?"

"Hey! Don't you know? Xu Damao saw your mother-in-law's naked bottom, wouldn't he have to marry her?"

"What? When did this happen?!" Qin Huairu was so shocked she almost jumped up.

"Just last night, your mother-in-law said it herself in the yard: Xu Damao saw her butt... Don't worry, when it comes to setting up a few tables, our whole yard will definitely help with the arrangements!"

Without saying a word, Qin Huairu grabbed her son and ran home. As soon as she entered, a lingering sour smell hit her. Little Dang was already awake, her voice hoarse from crying, and could only whimper "uh-huh" when she saw her mother. Qin Huairu then remembered that she had left her daughter home alone last night, and tenderly picked her up to comfort her.

"Mom!" she called out as she turned to the inner room.